'I know the cryptic way she hides it. I see how she fakes her affection.'
Gumi- I(愛)
'I wonder how Feli's doing right now. Probably not well, since he's at that stupid macho potato bastard's place,' I think to myself, rolling over to glare out the window. It's almost sunset now. I wonder to myself how much longer Feliciano can keep hiding it, keep faking it. I know how he hides it, how he fakes all those flawless smiles, how he closes his eyes to keep the pain from showing. I know that all the kisses and hugs he gives freely are nothing but lies designed to keep everyone, including himself, from ever figuring out how he feels.
But I'll show him how he feels. I'll save him from himself, and then he'll see that we were meant to be. I know that we'll be happy once he sees it. I just have to keep showing him that I care until he realizes that I do. I just have to keep fighting, even if he's given up on it. I just hope I can do it in time.
"I love you, Feliciano," I whisper to myself, tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. I take a deep breath and continue, "I love you so much. I need you so much, you are everything to me, you are the only one who's never wanted to replace me. You're the only one who has never truly hated me, the only one that's never given up on me. Even Antonio has wanted to trade me in in the past, but not you. You're my sanctuary, my love. And one day, I'll prove that to you, I swear it."
I hear the door open, and I wipe away my tears. He walks in, zombielike. What did that macho potato bastard do this time? I swear, if he yelled at Feliciano again I will end him. I examine him to make sure it didn't go further than yelling, because, noting his rage-tendencies, it could have for all I know. He does tend to push Feliciano way too hard during his stupid 'training' that's far too exhausting for Feliciano, and there was that one time that his foot landed on my brothers face whilst he was rolling around with one of macho potato bastard's cats...
He looks OK though... no bruises or anything. His eyes are open though, and I can gaze into his inner soul. He's so conflicted, he's fighting himself. The tears are gathering now, I can't let that happen. "Fratello? Hey, hey, Feliciano. Feliciano, what happened? Did Ludwig say something? What did that stupid kraut do now?" I ask, though it comes out as more of a demand.
"Sorry Fratellone, I'm just tired. Don't worry about me!" Feliciano lies, his eyes closing immediately. I frown, and resist the urge to burst out into tears on his ass.
"Don't lie to me!" I shout, shaking his shoulders. Why can't he just see it? He's lying to everyone. He's gonna hurt himself like this. 'Don't cry Lovino, don't cry, don't you dare cry!'
"I'm not lying!" He responds, his voice much louder than it should be. I can't hold back the tears much longer, so I shoot him a glare, and lay down, pretending to sleep. I let the tears fall down my face silently, not daring to move a muscle. I can't let him see me cry.
"It was nothing," I hear him mumble to himself. The tears fall faster and faster. He lays down to sleep as well, but I know already. Neither of us are going to sleep tonight. He's going to lay awake, trying desperately to believe his lies, and I'll try endlessly to come up with more ways to show him his lies. Why is it like this so often nowadays? I had just patched things up with him when this mess began. I had finally shown him that I don't hate him, I let him see that deeper part of me I hide in fear that someone will crush it, and he accepted me. Then that bastard France had to dare that night. It was like a dream come true, and I used every moment to show him how much I love him, every kiss was real to me. And when I looked into his eyes I could tell it was real for him too, but when the week was over it was over. Then he got with Ludwig.
I don't know how he can't see it, but Ludwig is tearing our relationship apart again. He only talks about Ludwig, the person he only pretends to love. I don't get to know anything else these days. I know why he does it, but still... And then Feliciano started to come home like this, broken and sad. I know Ludwig's been yelling at him. And the 'training' he puts my brother through is too much for my brother. I get Ludwig's just trying to help, but he's pushing too far. My brother can only take oh-so-much before he gets hurt. And then there's that one time... I can't believe he would do that to him...
I have to save him. Somehow.