Authors note: I WROTE THIS BECAUSE I REALLY HATE TWILIGHT AND THERE NOT ENOUGH FAN-FICS FOR US HATERS
Our story begins in the projects of Forks Bella is rocking her five children anxiously awaiting the arrival of her no good lazy cheating husband Edward Cullen.
"Bella you cheap harlot I am home!"
"I hear you, you good for nothing over weight vampire how many pounds have you gained this month! Apparently you've been knocking back one to many bears with Emmett!" Edward angrily replied.
"Well apparently you've been hanging out with Jacob too much"!
"Edward we are just friends nothing more!" Edward rolls his eyes sure if your just friends explain why one of our kids turns into a wolf!"
"Edward!" Bella screamed, "How dare you bring that up we were drunk and it was spring break it was not my fault at least Jacob doesn't take Viagra!"
" I do not take Viagra said Edward!"
"And Grizzly Adams had a beard Bella shouted!"
"Grizzly Adams did have a beard retard!"
"I'm sooooo out of here said Bella I need my cocaine fix!"
"Well the last time I checked our lovely daughter Rainbow Cullen had your entire bag!"
"We have a kid named rainbow?"
Edward jaw dropped. He stormed out of the dim lit one room one room apartment onto the patio and began to jump from tree to tree after about 3 trees he was tired he had to walk.
You see Edward has developed asthma, diabetes, heart disease, herpes, and Lyme disease over the rough 10-year period. Swearing he would never he would never return to Bella or Forks. However 3 days later he returned high and out of cash. Bella had distraught after learning she had terminal Herpes from being in too close of contact with Edward.
"Edward I'm dying she said weakly all the children have died of hunger we had no food so I had to eat the kids."
"Too damn bad!" Said Edward.
"Listen" Bella coughed "I know your family is rich please pay for my Chemo!"
" No"! Said Edward coldly "why do you think I never turned you into a vampire? You think it was because I loved you? yeah right! I was just trying to get lucky ya know score!"
Edward stormed out of the room and Bella died a slow painful death.
Fin