I currently have writers block on "Fighting Your Demons" "Speculations" "Hurt By You" and "Left You, Yet I Love You", and I decided to watch some NCIS episodes to relieve myself of that. I didn't get much inspiration for either of those, but I did get one for this. I am hoping that once my creative juices get flowing it will continue to flow. I have to work tonight, but I plan on coming home and attempting to write some stuff out; stay up watch some NCIS episodes and hopeful find SOMETHING

Enough of all that though. Enjoy this little something.

SALVATION IN A PHOTOGRAPH

Tony sat at his desk drumming his fingers against the barren surface rhythmically. It was times like these he was glad he wasn't claustrophobic, he could only imagine what a blast he would be having then.

He often felt he was suffocating, but it wasn't because of the tight corridors of the ship, it was due more to the fact that most of his time spent as Agent Afloat had been spent with thoughts of self-reflection. He thought about all he had done, and all he should have done; and about how he may have missed his chance.

He thought about Kate, and how she shouldn't have had to die the way she did. He thought of Jenny, and how she was all alone in her last moments. When thoughts of Jenny entered his mind, they'd always be followed by thoughts of Gibbs. He found himself cringing at the most inopportune moments, just waiting for that ever-present head-slap. He missed those, as crazy as it sounds. Ducky came next; Tony actually wanted to listen to one of his eccentric tales, he had avoided them at all costs before he was assigned to be Agent Afloat and now it was something he missed. Abby followed Ducky, and with Abby came hugs, and with Abby-hugs came loss of breath, he missed choked airways and tight squeezes. He even thought of McGee, uber-nerd extraordinaire. He missed his crazy tech-talk, his ramblings that more often than not gave him a headache.

Lastly, his thoughts trailed to Ziva, from her death threats to the way her eyes seemed to sparkle with mischievous intent when focused upon him. From the way shivers seemed to ripple down his spine when her eyes trailed his form to the way her slip-ups made him smile his goofy smile. He missed everyone from his NCIS family; including Palmer and his awkward nature that was often times a mood-lightener. But he missed Ziva the most; he hadn't heard anything from her –or about her - since their separation four months ago, he missed her immensely, he would do anything to hear her voice, to see her beautiful face. Just news of her welfare would be okay for now, as long as he knew she was safe, he could handle not being near her for awhile longer.

Tony sighed listlessly, his attention falling to the pictures on his corkboard. He hadn't wanted to ruin them by shoving tacks through the pictures, so he had gently pushed them into the frame.

He didn't know if he had put the pictures of her up for punishment or for salvation. Was he punishing himself for not acting upon the strong feelings she seemed to invoke within him? Or was she acting as his savior, keeping him sane in the moments when he felt everything was becoming too overwhelming?

He stared at the pictures longer, his eyes taking in the gentle humor she had displayed within the moments he had captured the shots. He didn't tell her that he had only been snapping pictures of all those other women as a way to get a photo of her, reclined in her chair, clad in a tiny bikini, and looking more stunning than any woman had any right too. He had deleted those pictures as soon as he walked away from her; once she had agreed to come with him on a ride to LA. He kept the photos of her as a keepsake, wanting to remember that moment when she had let her guard down. It had been shortly after that moment that everything had gone down hill. It seemed that that spiral of events had lead him to here and now.

As those thoughts swirled in his head, he decided that she was his salvation.

Uhm. This idea came to me after watching Judgment Day and then Agent Afloat. I had noticed that while McGee was flipping through the pictures that there weren't any of the other photos Tony had snapped off. And it makes sense [to me at least] that Tony would take those other pictures just so Ziva wouldn't kill him. ^^

Review if you so wish it, I know I wish it!