A/N: My first attempt at a Blackadder story. This is an alternate ending to the episode "Amy and Amiability" from Blackadder the Third. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Blackadder
The Real Shadow
"Well, this is wonderful," Edmund Blackadder mumbled to himself as he watched the young, black clad woman who called herself The Shadow retreat into the distance. He made little attempt to free himself from the ropes she had bound him with, knowing by feel that they were far too tight. Instead, he resigned himself to sitting upon the rather fake looking knoll and waiting for her immanent return, and his demise.
As he sat in the growing darkness, the sound of a snapping twig reached his ears and he craned his neck to glance over his shoulder at the looming forest nearby. As he scanned the trees, a black clad figure stepped from the shadows and Blackadder let out an exasperated sigh.
"Oh, you're back, how lovely," he breathed sarcastically. The figure lifted a finger to his masked face and took a step towards Blackadder, sending a rather pungent smell the butler's way. Blackadder wrinkled his nose and raised an eyebrow as the scent stirred his memory.
"Baldrick?" he queried disbelievingly as the figure approached, causing the individual to stop and raise another finger to his lips. Blackadder rolled his eyes. "For god's sake, Baldrick, I know it's you. I can smell your trousers from here!"
The figure's shoulders rose and fell in a shrug and Blackadder noticed that, indeed, the person's arms hung rather limply at his sides, much like Baldrick's. After the shrug, the figure pulled the mask from his head to reveal to unwashed face of Blackadder's apprentice, one "S." Baldrick.
"Hello Mr. B!" the man said in a cheerful voice, causing the edge of Blackadder's lip to rise ever so slightly into an annoyed sneer.
"Why, Baldrick, are you dressed like a highwayman?" Blackadder asked. Baldrick did not answer right away but instead hurried to undo the ropes holding his employer in place. Once Blackadder was free and standing, Baldrick gave his answer.
"I'm not dressed like a highwayman, Sir," he said, proudly. "I am a highwayman."
"Baldrick," Blackadder stated slowly and calmly. "Are you trying to tell me that you are The Shadow?"
"That's exactly it, Mr. B," Baldrick said as a smile broke out over his pock-marked face. Blackadder groaned and pressed his fingers against his forehead, peering at Baldrick out of the corner of his eye.
"And how, may I ask, do you get those poor, rich souls to give you their money? Do you stink it out of them?"
"No, Mr. B," Baldrick said, glancing up at Blackadder with a confused look in his eyes. "I've a gun." With that simple proclamation, Baldrick pulled a pistol from the folds of his black garment, where Blackadder could only guess there was a pocket, and held it out for the other man to see; and Blackadder found himself to once again be held at gunpoint, much to his chagrin.
"Baldrick," he said, keeping his gaze on what he was sure was a loaded weapon. "Unless your aim is as terrible as your logic, I would appreciate it if you would not point that at me."
"My aim's fine Mr. B," Baldrick stated, turning his arm away from Blackadder. He pointed the gun at a tree across the way and pulled the trigger. His arm jerked slightly with the force, but he was otherwise unfazed.
Blackadder, on the other hand, cast the man a wary glance before striding across the clearing, weaving through the piles of expensive items he'd procured from the palace, and examining the tree that had been chosen as Baldrick's victim. There was a small hole in the trunk, and Blackadder deduced that it was indeed the spot Baldrick had been aiming for.
Blackadder turned from the tree and sized up his apprentice, one eyebrow raised in the mildest show of astonishment. He perched his right elbow in his left hand and tapped his raised fingers against his chin, pacing towards Baldrick as he mulled over the situation.
"If you're the Shadow," he asked when he reached the other man's side. "Than why does Amy say that she's the Shadow?"
"That's just what I wanted to find out, Mr. B," Baldrick said, returning his weapon to whatever hidden pocket he had retrieved it from. "Ya see, when somebody goes around claimin' they're me it brings me a bad name, Mr. B."
"Baldrick," Blackadder said in an irritable voice. "You steal from the rich and have not yet started giving to the poor, how does someone masquerading as you give you any worse a name than you achieved yourself?"
"It's all about principle, Mr. B," Baldrick replied. Blackadder nodded slowly, his face betraying the fact that he was still not convinced. As the two stood in silence for a mere moment, a gun shot rang out through the night, and a squirrel fell at their feet.
"I hate squirrels!" Amy's voice said, floating into the clearing from the edge of the woods. She marched into view and up to Blackadder and Baldrick, hardly fazed by the fact that he captive had nearly escaped.
"Oh, look, the pig is back," she snarled, pointing her gun at Baldrick, who once again reached into the folds of his black garment and pulled out his own weapon. He pointed it at Amy while Blackadder took an unnoticed step back.
"You're an impostor," Baldrick said in that always calm and oblivious way of his. Amy let out a harsh laugh and tossed stray locks of curly blonde hair over her shoulder.
"You're the impostor, you bumbling imbecile," she said, slowly deepening her voice to sound like the Shadow. A shudder shot through Blackadder as the sound came from her overly beautiful face and he took another step back.
"You're just tryin' to get your hands on the Prince's money, aren't you?" Baldrick asked, and Blackadder stared at him, puzzled about how a man with so little brains could have come to that conclusion before Blackadder himself had.
"And how does that make me the imposter, you fool?" Amy demanded. Baldrick shrugged.
"I hadn't gotten that far," he said. Amy let out a long, cruel laugh in that deep voice of hers; and was only interrupted when one of the guns went off. Blackadder jumped at the sound and the sudden, earsplitting silence that followed.
The two black-clad figures stood before him for one more moment before Amy stepped back in shock and fell to the ground, her hand clutched to her chest. Baldrick stayed where he was, his eyes never leaving the end of his gun, as Blackadder rushed forward and stared down at the dying woman. She reached up to him as the life slowly left her eyes, then fell flat on her back, never to move again.
"Right, then, Baldrick," Blackadder said cheerfully, clapping his hands together and turning around. "Let's get this stuff back to the palace."