When Dipsy
Got Tipsy
Author's Note: I got this idea because it rhymed, I'm not sure if all the facts are correct but read and knock yourself out, they talk fully in this, review if you wanna! Props to Hail!
It was a fine day in Teletubbie world, the sun was shining brightly, Po was picking flowers, Lala was singing a wonderful tune, Tinkie Winkie was running around after rabbits hitting them with his bag, and Dipsy was thirsty.
The teletubbies had just had kiwi for breakfast and orange juice to drink. Dipsy was still thirsty.
Po! We got any beer?! Dipsy shouted into the fields.
Po looked up from his handful of yellow flowers, The beers for partying! Drink soda!
he mumbled.
Although Dipsy agreed to the Teletubbie rule he had an urge for an alcoholic beverage.
Dipsy walked into the house, looking down. If he couldn't have alcohol he wouldn't have anything. He scanned the kitchen and his eyes fell on a door in the wall, it had a bright red lock and a flower shaped window, the alcohol cabinet. As much as he wanted to open it, he looked away.
Dipsy decided to go back outside, visions of the cabinet in his head. He sat down by the door of the house as his friends frolicked in the fields, I can't take it anymore! He shouted, everyone froze and looked at him(even the rabbits). The baby-face sun frowned.
They waddled over to him, What's the matter? Tinkie Winkie said in a deep but innocent voice.
You wouldn't understand, you gay fag! Dipsy snapped at Tinkie Winkie.
Please stop yelling! Lala squeaked, in a frightened voice.
Shut the- Dipsy was cut off.
A sugar coated voice filled the land, Time for lunch, time for lunch, I'm only saying this so the teletubbies don't rip each other's heads off, time for lunch.
The teletubbies bounded into the house, Dipsy was last with his head hanging low. They sat at the table with each having macaroni and cheese and a glass of lemonade in front of them. As they began to eat Dipsy sat there as his face began to turn as red as Po. He looked at them, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists.
He stood up, You don't understand! He screamed, as a plate hurtled through the air, hitting Po's face and shattering as he shook his head.
Why are you so angry? Tinkie Winkie asked, putting his hands on his cheeks.
He took his glass of lemonade and threw the liquid into Lala's macaroni and cheese. Holding the glass up he shouted, You see this glass? Tinkie Winkie nodded with a smile. I'm a yacto second away from shoving it so far up your ass, it'll be tuesday.
Lala stood up taking the glass away from Dipsy, Calm down friend, you need a good song to sing, she stood up straight and tall, clasping her hands together . and BAM.
Dipsy had bashed Lala's nose in, Sing this! He punched her T.V screen stomach in causing it to go haywire.
Dipsy eyed down the alcohol cabinet, he tried to break the lock, but it was no use. He looked at Po his eyes wide open, he pointed at him and said, Po smirked and a key appeared in his hand, Dipsy began to chase him out of the house.
There was a reason, when the teletubbies first came to be, they entrusted the alcohol cabinet key with the teletubbie who was underage, Po. He was the one that never needed nor wanted to drink, so he could open the cabinet for the other's when New Year's Eve came around.
Dipsy chased Po all over teletubbie land, when finally he jumped on Po's back, causing him to topple to the ground.
Nee, nee, nee,nee, sounds ushered from Po's little mouth, as Dipsy took hold of his neck.
Po was rocking back and forth with lack of oxygen, as the baby-face sun began to cry. A pole with a speaker came out of nowhere, Time for teletubbies, time for teletubbies, the same sugary voice came.
I don't want those damn little kids watching my every move for a fucking half an hour! He kicked the pipe, as sparks flew out of it.
Po began to shriek continuously, Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh! He repeated.
He began to change color, pink, to red, to purple, to now blue, he dropped the key.
Dipsy lunged for the purple plastic key, as Po filled his lungs, Well you didn't deserve all the publicity anyway, everyone loves the stupid little runt, get a life, grow an inch! He screamed, then ran back to the house.
Tinkie Winkie and Lala were standing in front of the door, their arms spread out wide.
Get out of my way you freaking ass holes! He shouted.
He said the A word! Lala shrieked. Little kids are watching right now!
Fuck them! He said as the screen in his stomach began to fill with static, a little girl appeared on his stomach.
Hi Dipsy! She waved. I love Po can I see him?
Sorry fag he's half dead! The girl began to cry as he ripped the screen off his stomach, revealing a black hole. Yeah that's normal.
Dipsy took Tinkie Winkie's purse and hit him over the head with it, he fell to the ground, his stomach filled with static as well, but then nine little blue boxes filled his screen and nine little people appeared singing, it was none other than the Brady Bunch!
Oh my god I should've stayed in Miami, Dipsy shook his head, kicking Lala in the face.
He plowed over everything in his path until he reached the cabinet, he opened the door and THANK THE LORD there was alcohol galore. First he started chugging down the brandy, then finished off the Budweiser, tequilla was gone in a heart beat, the vodka was there for about five minutes, and then he drank all the whiskey.(Who knew the teletubbies had so much alcohol).
He stormed out of the house seeing everyone laying on the ground, staring at him with pure hatred, Anyone want a jello shot? He asked with a hiccup as he shook his behind and laughed.
Po looked at him and stood up weakly, How dare you!
Dipsy walked over to Po wobbly, Hey my little blue buddy! He put his arm around Po's shoulder and hiccuped again.
I'm red! Po stomped his foot.
Of course you are! He kissed him on the cheek.
He stared down Tinkie Winkie as a bottle of Coors Light appeared in his hand, he smiled, Hello Tinkerbell, he said,walking over to him and putting his arm around Tinkie's shoulder. He took the bottle and poured the contents onto poor Tinkie Winkie's head, who kicked up his legs and shouted.
Lala began to sing Mary Had a Little Lamb, You wanna sing? You wanna sing? He shouted, smashing the glass bottle against her head. Sing that bitch! She fell down.
Dipsy hiccuped again, I'm pop-eye the sailor man. TOOT TOOT! I live in a garbage can! TOOT TOOT hiccup I turned up the gas! hiccup And blew up my ass, I'm pop-eye the sailor hiccup man!!!!!! He bowed.
The baby in the sky began to giggle, Dipsy took Po's hands and started swinging him around finally he let him go and he went flying into the baby's face, Dumb shit, laughing at me! He hiccuped yet again.
Dipsy walked away shaking his behind, every rabbit turned into a bottle of tequilla and he took one of the flowers Po had picked early and began to smoke it, and after each puff he took a sip of tequilla. He continued walking forever until he reached Miami, and one last time the voice rang throughout teletubbie land, Good bye teletubbies, good bye teletubbies.
Shut the fuck up! Dipsy yelled and disappeared.
THE END