Working on two stories so that I don't get bored. Here's the second one. I'll be switching between stories every two chapters.

The Story of a Narcoleptic Genius

Summary: Naruto is a smart-mouth. He sleeps all day, aces everything, and has at least 500 victims to his verbal assaults. This is the tale of one Narcoleptic Genius and how he made his way through the world. Rated for my paranoia.

I don't own Naruto.

[-|Break|-]

Uzumaki Naruto was a smart-ass. There were no two ways about it, and even if there were, I doubt anyone could agree on what it would be.

The really strange thing, though, was that Naruto slept, like, constantly. Seriously, the guy never woke up! He was always at least partially asleep, never paying full attention, and he still managed to be a smart-ass and ace everything.

Considering this narcolepsy and verbal habit, it should come as no surprise that people try to prank him and wake him up.

Not that it ever worked, mind.

"Heads up, Naruto! Haha!" Kiba yelled, as he tried to tackle the blonde to the ground.

Only problem was that Naruto wasn't there anymore, but two seats over. . .still sleeping peacefully.

"Teme. . ." Kiba said, irritated.

"You know, Kiba," came a quiet, sleepy voice from behind him, "you really don't have any right calling me 'bastard' when you were the one trying to wake me up – and if you want it to work next time, maybe you should think about not announcing your presence to the whole class."

Kiba turned to see a sleepy looking Naruto resting his head in his hand, eye half-lidded, and yet still managing to give Kiba a "you're an idiot" look. Kiba tried to tackle this second blonde, but it poofed out of existence as soon as he tried, and when Kiba looked around, he saw Naruto sitting at the back of the classroom. . .sleeping.

"Does that guy ever wake up?" Kiba moaned, before quickly taking a seat as Iruka walked in.

"Well done, all of you, for passing your exams. Now, I'm going to read off your team – you have no choice on whose team you are placed on. You're not allowed to argue, so you're gonna have to just suck it up and deal with it. Am I clear?" There was a general muttering of "Yes, Iruka-sensei", so he continued. "The teams are as follows (A/N – I'm only listing the important ones): Team 6 is Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, and Akimichi Chouji. You're sensei is Sarutobi Asuma. Team 7 is Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, and Uzumaki Naruto. You're sensei is Hatake Kakashi. Team 8 is Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino, and Hyuuga Hinata. You're sensei is Yuuhi Kurenai. That is all. You'll wait for your teachers here until they arrive to get you."

Over the course of the next hour, everyone's sensei's came to get their teams. . . everyone except Team 7, that is. Two hours after that, and Uchiha Sasuke was getting increasingly irritated with Haruno Sakura as the girl loudly wondered where their Jounin instructor was (she had given up on getting a date from him and moved on to this). Sasuke looked over at Naruto to see if he was bothered by Sakura, and nearly slammed his head into the desk in frustration upon seeing that Naruto was still sleeping.

Deciding that it was high time that he get the narcoleptic up (and looking for any excuse to get away from Sakura), he got up and walked over to the kid and shook his shoulder. "Hey, Naruto."

"Mmph mmph ah? What is it, Sasuke?" asked Naruto, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Don't you think that it's about time to wake up?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto looked up at Sasuke with a small grin, his eyes still half-lidded. "That depends – what time is it?"

"Nearly 3:35."

"Nope, definitely not then."

"Dobe, do you ever wake up?"

"Not really. I prefer sleeping."

". . ."

". . .Something wrong?"

". . .Have you noticed that our Jounin instructor isn't here yet and we're the only ones left in the room?"

". . .Do you really think so low of me that you believe that my observation skills are that pathetic?"

". . .Since you sleep all the time, how am I supposed to know otherwise?"

"Point taken."

"So, where do you think he is?"

"Our Jounin sensei? Well, considering Kakashi-san, he's probably going to walk in here in about five minutes, and say, 'Sorry I'm late, but a black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way'."

"You know our Jounin instructor personally?"

"Unfortunately."

". . .Would he really say something like that?"

"How much are you willing to bet?"

". . .A thousand ryou."

"You're on. Wake me up when I win." And with that, Naruto put his head back down and promptly went back to sleep.

"What makes him so confident he's going to win?" Sasuke muttered to himself as he went back to his seat. . . only to return to be bothered by Sakura, who now wanted to know what he had talked to Naruto about. "Nothing," Sasuke said, irritated. "We didn't talk about anything."

Six minutes later, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were all headed to the roof, Naruto now one thousand ryou richer than he had been before. When they got there, they saw Kakashi leaning against the railing casually.

"Took you guys long enough. Come over here and sit down." Once they had done so, he continued. "Let's start by getting to know each other a little better. Tell us your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and dreams for the future."

"Kakashi, why don't you tell us about yourself first? These other two haven't met you before," Naruto said, yawning as he finished saying that.

"I'm your sensei now, Naruto."

". . .And? You're point it?"

"My point is that I would prefer it if you would call me Kakashi-sensei."

Naruto looked at Kakashi for a moment, the struck a thinking pose, head titled and hand grasping chin, before looking back at Kakashi and saying cheerfully, "I'll note you're protest. Now then, why don't you tell us about yourself, Kakashi?"

Kakashi's eye twitched. "Fine. My name is Hatake Kakashi. My likes are. . ." He hummed a bit. "Dislikes are. . ." Once again, he hummed. "My hobbies include. . ." Once again, that damned humming. "And I don't have any dreams for the future."

The other three sweatdropped. All we learned was his name, they thought.

"Now then, you first, chicken butt." Sasuke shot a glare at Kakashi as the others snickered at the nickname.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I have very few likes, one of which is training, and a lot of dislikes, which include fangirls. My hobbies include reading my way through my clan's extensive library, learning new jutsus, and fighting. I don't have a dream, so much as an. . . ambition. I wish to kill a certain man, and restore my clan."

"You next, piglet." Naruto snickered at the nickname, while Sasuke smirked.

"My name is Haruno Sakura. My likes include reading and. . ." she glanced at Sasuke for a moment, before looking away again, blushing. "My dislikes include perverts and difficult-to-deal-with people." At this, Naruto started coughing. "What is it, Naruto?"

"Oh, nothing. I agree with you, though, I also dislike difficult-to-deal-with people." Kakashi and Sasuke hid smirks at this, but Sakura didn't notice.

Shooting a suspicious glance at Naruto, she continued, "My hobbies are reading and thinking my way through problems. and my dream for the future is. . ." She glanced at Sasuke again, before looking away, blushing again.

"You're last, Señor Smartmouth." Naruto grinned at the nickname, while they others looked slightly miffed that theirs were worse than his.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I like reading and training, taking care of animals, and people who are kind to everybody. My dislikes include judgmental and mean people, people who hurt others, and loud noises." His eyes strayed over to Sakura as he said the last part. "My hobbies are sleeping the day away and poking fun at everybody that I meet, as well as surprising those around me. My dream is to become a Sennin and to travel the world, before eventually coming back to Konoha and becoming Hokage."

"Big dream, Naruto. And since when do you train?"

"Since when do you pay enough attention to what other people say to actually ask questions?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"I pay attention sometimes. . ." Kakashi said. Naruto snorted. "No, really!"

"If that's true, then who are you and what have you done to Kakashi?"

"Sensei, Naruto, sensei! I'm your teacher now!"

"And I'm a monkey's mother. You still haven't given us the true Genin test, so how could you know if Team 7 is still going to be around once you're done?"

Kakashi looked stunned. "You know about that?"

"My connections are frickin' amazing. You going to tell us about the Genin test now, or can I go home without worrying about it?"

"No, there's a Genin test. Meet at training ground 7 tomorrow at 7 o'clock." Kakashi was about to hold up his hands in a seal, before he stopped and added, "Oh, don't eat breakfast, by the way. You'll puke." And with that and a swirl of leaves, he was gone.

"I'm gonna go too. See you guys tomorrow at 9 o'clock," Naruto said. He started walking back to the exit.

"9? But Naruto, Kakashi-sensei said that we were meeting up at 7!"

"And? He'll be at least two hours late, so I'm going to sleep in. Later." And with that, Naruto was gone.

Sakura and Sasuke looked at each other, then both left as well.