Sometimes, Raito cannot help but visualise - just visualise in his head, nothing else - all of the many ways that he can kill L right now. He had all that he needed - and more! He could use his hands to suffocate him (But asphyxiation is so overrated, said Raito to himself, frowning slightly), he could stab L in the neck with that pair of scissors lying atop the desk (But that would be too messy, grumbles Raito, shaking his head slightly), or he could sneak up behind the detective and smash a chair into his head, cracking L's skull and - hopefully - killing him (Again, a bit too messy, sighs Raito, now leaning his chin on his hand, an air of slight disappointment on his face).

"Yagami-kun?"

The 17-year-old snapped his head up, the sudden calling of his name surprising him and knocking him out of his thoughts.

"Yes?" He asked, "What is it, Ryuuzaki?"

The thin detective was looking at him gravely, with a somber look on his pale face, and for a second - just a second - Raito felt a twinge of worry run up his spine.

Did L find anything significant to the investigation? Did he find any proof that I am, indeed, Kira? Did he figure out what I was thinking of just now? Do I have anything stuck in my teeth?! Thoughts such as these were running around Raito's brain, and he had to pinch himself (without L seeing, of course) just to rid himself of those ridiculous thoughts. It was obvious that the stress of the investigation (or maybe it was just the fact that being chained to L for a long time) caused some - or even most! - of his brain cells to spontaneously combust?)

Raito, who just to make sure that none of his precious brain cells have left him, asked himself to recite the first hundred-fifty decimal places of PI - and when he managed to recite them all (hopefully all of them perfectly), he almost let out a sigh of relief - ALMOST.

"... Ryuuzaki?" Raito asked again, this time feeling much more confident - and intelligent - than he was two minutes ago.

"Yagami-kun," started L, voice sounding even more depressing and solemn than usual, "I am afraid that I have made an incredibly important discovery about you, and I am sure that you will be shocked and probably even horrified and angry that I have discovered that, - " Raito clenched his fists. " - and I am ninety-six point seven percent sure that you will be discouraged that I have managed to uncover this secret of yours - because it must have been extremely hard for you to try and make sure that no one would ever find out about it, else your reputation would be stained forever."

Raito gulped. He couldn't have found out that I am Kira! He thought to himself, somewhat horrified. He couldn't have! It's impossible!

So, as best as he could, Raito summoned a laugh and said, "Ryuuzaki, what are you talking about? I don't have any secrets!"

L shook his head, disagreeing with him. "That is incorrect, Yagami-kun," he said gravely. "You have many secrets - the one that I have uncovered is just simply the one that you wished for no one to find out."

"Nonsense!" Laughed Raito again, fakely. "I haven't any secrets, Ryuuzaki!"

"Yagami-kun," started L, looking Raito in the eye now, "I have discovered that you are a homosexual."

For a whole second, Raito swore that his brain and heart stopped. For a second, Raito couldn't even remember who he was and why the sky was blue - his brain just shut off.

"I... I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki?" The 17-year-old asked, raising an eyebrow at the detective.

"It is quite simple, Yagami-kun," said L, "And really, there isn't much to be ashamed of - there are many homosexuals on the planet, you know?"

"I am not homosexual!" Raito retorted, loudly. He almost yelled. ALMOST.

"Of course you are," disagreed L, "For one thing, you sit with your legs crossed - something that most women and homosexual men do - second of all, no normal man on this planet of ours spends a good hour on their hair in the morning - " Raito flushed at that, clenching his fists even tighter than before until he almost drew blood. "- and if you want further proof? Just read your last name backwards - you'll see."

Raito actually took the time to slowly write his family name down backwards, and to his horror (why haven't I noticed this before? he asked himself, completely aghast), found that it read IMAGAY.

When he saw L's smiling face, Raito seriously considered stabbing that fork of his into his neck and smashing L's precious swivel chair over his head and get it over with. But he didn't, because he reminded himself that it was far too messy and that he would hate for Watari to have to clean up all of the blood.

That, and L, like a speeding bullet, ran out of the room as fast as he could, leaving Raito to curse loudly and follow after him, yelling out various swear words and death threats.

x

This is the first of many little one-shots that i plan to write whenever I get bored. Review, please:)