Ok, another story from me, youronlydoll! I'm rather excited about this one as I feel I've branched out into wider realms - I've only ever written ffs about Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings so here goes. I was inspired by the character of Commodus in the movie,obviously, and like most who have seen it, found it amazing that Joaquin Phoenix managed to portray a character that was both detestable and sympathetic. True genius in my eyes and, seizing the opportunity for development, I decided to write this ff. I have also shamefully added some much needed fluff avec my own character, because I felt he needed some loving :)

Chapter one: Strength is key

"And I'm not scared of your stolen power."

Eleana had never given a great deal of thought to who she might marry. There was no one in her life, that she knew of, that she might consider. But she had always known the type of man that she would favour. He would be strong, she knew that for certain. For she was strong herself, she detested weaknesses. Though she knew everyone had them, herself included, she thought that they should be hidden. Feelings and emotions were weaknesses when they prevented you from acting logical, from doing the right thing. Uncontrollability she hated. Feelings made you do this, they made you loose control. She did not like to loose control over herself and her surroundings.

Though she was not quite sure what led her to possess these beliefs, she was glad that she did. She grew up in a harsh world where arrogance and cunning prevailed and the shy and timid were overruled. She had seen it a thousand times; it happened all about her, the great Roman army practised it day by day. She saw it in the senate, even in the Caesar himself. Decisions had to be made, and fast, any show of emotion was a sign of vulnerability, of a fault – a crack that could be grabbed hold of and widened until there was a great gaping hole inside that could not be repaired. It was cut-throat, every man for himself.

And as for the women, well this concept applied twice over for them. They had no status, no prospects and no independence. They had to play the game to get anywhere. And the game was deception. She had watched as her mother fell prey to her father. She was an honest woman, humble and modest. This was her weakness. He caught her up on every defect of her character, reminding her of it everyday, wearing her down. He was the pestle, she was the mortar. But she was too gentle a woman to argue against him.

After her death her father turned to Eleana and her sisters to take her place and be his outlet. But he found a strong young woman in Eleana instead. She had learnt from her mother. His attempts to bring her down were fruitless. So confident was she in her mannerisms, her character, her actions, that no matter what he said, no matter how he tried to worm his way in, he could not invade her mind like he had with her mother.

He was a soldier. The best in the empire and stood next to the Caesar through almost all of his reign; until the day he died he fought for him. To everyone he was brave and strong. But not to Eleana. Loyal he was to Rome, but not to his family, not to his wife. His constant fits of anger and his need to vent his aggression out on them rendered him useless in her eyes. To Eleana, this was his weakness.

She had siblings too. But they were not like her. She saw little of them throughout her childhood, for the palace was a vast place and she could avoid them well. They were vain, like most of the palace's residents. Fattened on the riches that the victories of Rome brought and infatuated with the fantasy that they were important. All around her Eleana saw weakness. And so in her husband she would look for strength.

Strength came with honour and respect. Strength was fulfilling your duty no matter what. It was overcoming all obstacles in order to gain what is rightfully yours, what you truly desire. Strength was being numb to all melancholy, ignoring sadness, suppressing anger. It was never giving up, never compromising, never feeling. It was poise, dignity, confidence in one's self. And it was never loving.

To her love was the worst of them all. With love came passion, lust, desire. All of these things sparked chaos for her. To have someone else controlling her emotions was her worst nightmare. And what she found to be even worse was that if she were in love with them she would fully and willingly comply with this. She would be completely blinded, duped into doing as her lover wished. And for that she decided that she would never love.

When she thought of a husband she thought only of companionship, it would be someone she liked, someone she cared for – she was not wholly emotionless – but not someone she truly loved. She would rely on his man to provide for her and to assist her in the fulfilment of her role as a Roman woman. She would give him children and then her purpose would be done. She would do only as she was expected to and nothing more. No one could question that. In fact, she believed most men would adore her for that. No fussing and no nagging. Like a business deal.

Commodus was one man that she would never marry. Her father had thought them a good match for one another, but he only thought of politics. For a short while Eleana thought that she might have to marry Commodus, but her father's death soon took care of that. She could not help but feel relief at this – being stuck with the pathetic castaway son of the great Marcus Aurelius was not a pleasant life in her eyes.

She had escaped that life anyway, her old life at the palace. After her father's death they were all sent away, that was the Caesar's doing. She loved him for that – for letting her get away. She and her sisters were sent to their Uncle who had a large dwelling deep in the hills of Tuscany. There they were taught how to be ladies, wives, away from the politics of the city and the oppression of the Palace. Ana, as she was called back then, was the youngest and had the most to learn. Her sisters, Cecilia and Jana, were not much older than her but they had been taught well at the Palace. Cecilia was the eldest and was already betrothed; now she was simply waiting to come of age. Her Father had promised her to the man long ago, but on the condition that he waited until she was eighteen.

Cecilia was sixteen when they went away, Jana fifteen and Ana only twelve. Though they were all of a suitable age for marriage, their father's obsession with politics and the military had made him forget about other matters such as their fate and had left them to get on with it.

Within two years of being in Tuscany Cecilia left with her husband. This was a great loss to Ana, who had always been close to Cecilia, despite her arrogance. She was most like their mother and Ana loved to be reminded of her. Jana was not interested in her at all. Though there was only a small age gap between them, it was big enough that there might be a divide between them. It was then that Ana truly grew up. With her strong beliefs tucked tightly under each arm, she faced the world alone. From then on she was Eleana again and anyone who she did not care for felt her cold shoulder of indifference.

Time went by and things carried on like this. Eleana amused herself everyday and soon four more years had passed. She saw little of her sister and nothing of her Uncle. That was how she liked it though. She was away from her old life at the Palace, free from the memory of her parents and those that she had grown up with.

But it was clear that this was not the path the Gods wished her to follow. A messenger had arrived one day, he gave their uncle a letter and left. After reading it their guardian had called them both to him; they stood in front of him now, eagerly awaiting what he had to say.

"We have been summoned to Rome, my girls," he stated, smiling widely. "The Caesar wishes to see us." Clearly he took this as a great honour. He had not quite the high status that his brother had had but now he reaped the rewards it gave himself. Eleana was not so sure.

"Us?" she inquired. "Not just you?"

"No, he has specifically requested that I bring you two along with me." He moved towards her and handed her the parchment. "See for yourself."

Eleana was not the most learned girl but she scanned the document nonetheless, trying to make sense of it. She could read more than enough of it to get the most of what was wanted of them. It said they were wanted at the Palace, there was some kind of celebration going on and they were invited. It said the Caesar dearly wished to see them and right away; he would send a company of men to bring them to Rome the next day.

Eleana passed the letter to Jana who read it herself. She had loved life at the Palace and had very reluctantly left it. She was fast approaching twenty-one and had not any suitors. Out in the remote Tuscan hills there was barely anyone around for miles but the odd farmer, no one good enough to court her. Back at the Palace they had been never wanted for company. There were always visitors, banquets and celebrations night after night. Jana was a charming young girl back then, indeed she still was now – if a little out of practice – and she was blessed with her mother's beauty, enough to ensnare any man she wished. She knew this and took full advantage of it. Flirting with all the young men and making them fall for her was her favourite game. Eleana did not know how she felt towards them, but she did not think love came into it at all.

She looked at Jana now, she had a tiny smirk on her face, invisible to those unobservant like her Uncle, but obvious to those who took the time to notice. The far corner of her red lips were raised slightly. A muscle in her cheek twitched as she fought to suppress her exhilaration.

"We must make preparations straight away. Go back to your rooms and gather your possessions together. We must be ready at first light to leave," their Uncle instructed. Jana obeyed straight away, turning quickly on one heel and exiting the room at a fast pace. Eleana reluctantly caught up with her.

"At last! We are to go back," Jana said breathlessly to herself. She stopped suddenly at the sound of Eleana's footsteps behind her. As she spun round to face her, Eleana stopped too. Jana's face turned from joy to hate. She pointed at her sister accusatorily. "You had better not mess this up, puella. Or I shall never forgive you."

"I beg your pardon?" Eleana exclaimed, horrified at her sister's allegation.

"It was thanks to you that we were sent away before." Jana continued as she walked away, shouting over her shoulder at Eleana. "Don't think that I will let you do it again."

For once in her life Eleana was left speechless. She stood still in the corridor, going over what her sister had said. How dare she blame it on her? She could not understand how it could have been her fault. Of all of them she was the most conspicuous. Cecilia was the emotional one and Jana the attention-seeking. It was true that Eleana had a temper on her but it had never been a great cause of unrest for them. If it was anyone's fault it was their fathers for dying like that and not thinking of the consequences for them. Cecilia had been old enough to remain in the Palace on her own, but the younger two still needed guidance. Without a husband or a guardian they could not have stayed. Besides the Caesar had no obligation to look after them now that their father was gone. He had neither the time nor the inclination to do so. He had children of his own, Lucilla was fairly self-sufficient but Commodus on the other hand was more than enough for him to handle without having two young girls clinging onto him too. She sighed and went to her room, summoning a servant on the way to help her pack.

So she was going back. Back to what? There was nothing there she particularly wished to see again. Lucilla was no friend of hers, she was much older than her, and Commodus, well, they had long been at odds with one another. And the manner of their parting had definitely put any goodwill that might have existed between them out of the picture. It had been a child's squabble really, but its origins ran deep between them. Already at that age Eleana had been resolute and even now she stood by her opinion. She pushed the thought of the past away and tried to concentrate on the present. No doubt it would all just be some meaningless celebration that she would have to endure for a few days before they would come home. She would not even have to see the pitiful young man.

But little did she know that far off in the great capital that was Rome, the very same young man had taken up his new seat as emperor and had already begun to make plans as to his first commands as the new ruler. He had not forgotten her and her family, having grown up with Eleana constantly looking down at him, and to him now was the perfect time to drag up past ghosts. The games had already begun, the city was in the throes of celebration and the new emperor was ready to show his strength.

By the way, puella is Latin for girl :)

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