"Kenny, your new girlfriend is a slut."

"...Woo-hoo!"

"He took it pretty well."

The Seekers were the pride of the Decepticon army. Megatron should know; he had hand-picked both trines that accompanied him to Earth. They were far more skilled than the pitiful Aerialbots that were employed by Optimus Prime, even if they did lack that oh-so-useful ability to combine into something as powerful as Superion, and each one was equipped with unique weapons that had been invaluable thus far in remaining a true threat to the Autobots. Not the least of these was Skywarp's teleportation abilities, which came in so handy when used appropriately and according to the orders of his commanding officers.

Yet somehow, time and time again, the Decepticon Commander found himself wondering where he had gone wrong to deserve such a fate as having to deal with the idiot's frequent misdemeanors and mistakes.

Take that particular moment, for example, where Skywarp, who had been assigned to monitor duty and was supposed to be watching the hallways and public rooms of the Nemesis for any sort of suspicious activity, was instead watching strangely shaped characters (vaguely reminiscent of the organic annoyances that were so common on this cesspool of a planet) interact on a pitifully rendered environment, while he giggled madly like a freshly-activated Sparkling.

"Skywarp," Megatron began, derma curling in disgust. "What are you doing?"

The Seeker jumped and spun around in surprise. "Megatron, sir! I wasn't aware you were here!" he said quickly, searching for the switch that would presumably return the screen to it's normal functions. "I-I-I was just, testing out some wiring adjustments, yeah, that's it, that screen wasn't working earlier, it was all staticy and fragged up ya know, so I thought I'd try my hand at fixing it and it wound up picking up that human television broadcast, I got distracted by it but it was only for a couple of breems and oh look, what do you know, the monitor's working again-"

Megatron's irritated glare increased in intensity, until Skywarp's vocalizer trailed off into silence. "You were watching human entertainment broadcasts on the security monitors," he stated. "Again. After I had specifically ordered you not to following numerous complaints by Soundwave."

Skywarp actually had the gall to smile at him, albeit timidly. "Well, sir, some of it is highly amusing. The show I was just watching, South Park, for instance, it's about this-"

"I do not care to know," Megatron hissed, shutting off his optics and reaching up to pinch the bridge of his olfactory receptor in agitation. "Just ensure that you never do this again, or I will grant Mixmaster permission to use you as a test subject for his next experiment, like he's been asking me to ever since your prank on him with the organic rodent."

"It was a skunk," Skywarp supplied helpfully.

Growling, Megatron stated tersely, "I. Don't. Care."

Turning abruptly, Megatron started to leave the room, pausing just outside the door to turn to an obviously agitated Soundwave. "You're sure you can't block out the human satellite frequencies?"

"Negative. Frequency jamming equipment: too general. Would block all communications within the Nemesis."

"Slag," Megatron cursed. "Fine. Next time you catch him at it, just throw him to the Constructicons and let them have free reign. And if Starscream tries to complain, throw him to them as well." With that, he stormed off, leaving Skywarp to scowl at the Third in Command.

He turned back to his screen, thoughts black with mutiny, until he was interrupted once again.

"Suggestion: do not attempt. Seeker frame not built to overpower my own. Furthermore, positions: impossible."

"Oh, eat slag."

Skywarp's List

1. You are not allowed to watch human entertainment broadcasts while on monitor duty.