Save You

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own The Outsiders or Save You, although it would be completely awesome if I did.

Author's Note: I gave quite a bit of thought to this fic, so it took me a while to write. From the first time I heard this song, it completely reminded me of Dally and Johnny, but the thing is, I didn't know exactly what aspect of their relationship it reminded me of. I thought it over for a while and discussed it with other people (thank you, Demon Eyes Glow Blood Red, for your help! Check out her stories, she's a great author and she helped me figure out how to write this.) After listening to the song about a hundred more times and re-reading The Outsiders, this is what I came up with. I doubt that it fully shows the emotion that I was hoping for it to, but I hope that you enjoy it anyways.

This is written from Dally's point of view when Johnny says that he's going to turn himself in to the police.

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door

Johnny sits quietly in the back seat of the car, staring down at the floor. I know he thinks I'm angry with him, and I would too, if I were him. Johnny would probably never suspect that I was trying to control my emotions, trying to figure out what to say. Heck, Johnny probably didn't even know I still had emotions. I wish he was right about that. I'd make things so much easier.

You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

I want so badly to tell him how much the words and the choice to turn himself in hurt me. The thought of Johnny in jail, having what happened to me happen to him, is too painful for me to even think about. I know I can't explain it to him though. I may think of Johnny as a little brother, but there's no way he'd know that, or understand if he did.

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

I want to protect him from what I know through experience will happen. As much as I want to tell him, the words won't come out. I guess I've repressed them for so long that I don't know how to free them.
Maybe he can deal with his awful parents, maybe he could deal with that beating the Socs gave him, but a person can only handle so much before they break.

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It's just skin and bones
There's nothing left to take

Maybe he did kill a Soc, but I don't see him as a murderer. I still just see him as Johnnycake, the kid who puts up with with so much, yet still needs to be protected in a way. That's not a problem for me though. I like the feeling that I have someone to look after. I can't lose that. Can't lose him.

And no matter what I do
I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

I wish I could find some way to make him realize why he just can't turn himself in. He can't do that to me.
"Johnny," I say, hating the desperation in my voice, even though I'm really as desperate as I sound. "Johnny, I ain't mad at you." I had to tell him that, I needed him to know that, if nothing else.

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

"I just don't want you getting hurt," I say. I don't know whether I should try and control my emotions or not. I need him to know, but I can't sound too pitiful. "You don't know what a few months in jail can do to you. Oh, blast it, Johnny," this is so hard to say, so hard to force the words out of my mouth. I've tried from the moment I got out of jail for the first time to block these thoughts, but now I'm actually saying them out loud. It takes all my willpower to keep going. "You get hardened in jail. I don't want that to happen to you. Like it happened to me…" I let my voice trail off, afraid it will break if I keep talking. I blink my eyes furiously, trying to fight back memories of seven years ago. That won't happen to Johnny. Maybe I was ten then and he's sixteen now, but it doesn't really make a difference. He'd be affected same as I was. It won't happen.

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up
cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

I know Johnny's capable of being so much better than I am. I can't let him be like me, no one in their right minds would ever want to. It's my job to help him, so why won't he let me? I've told him as much as I can make myself without crying, and that just ain't going to happen. He's a smart kid, so why isn't he listening?

If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

What is it that I can say to him that will keep him out of jail? Getting yourself sent there is one thing when it's happened to you before. You know what to expect by then, which is why I went in for Two-Bit that time he broke the school windows. It's different the first time though, the hardest, the scariest. Johnny doesn't know what it's like, what it's really like. Sure I've said plenty of stuff about it, but only the recent stuff, only the things that help me look tough. I can't tell him what it was like my first time. I can barely accept it myself.

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

I want Johnny to listen, to not turn himself in, but the truth is that he's a better person then I am. He'll say it's the right thing to do. He rescued those kids that he didn't even know, didn't he? That just proves he's better. I don't care if it's the right thing to do though. Of course I don't. I'm Dallas Winston, and I don't care about anything or anyone except myself. Supposedly.
I care about Johnny though, but apparently that doesn't matter to him. Doesn't he understand what I'm trying to say to him?

I wish I could save you
I want you to know
I wish I could save you

I guess I can't find the words that may not even exist to stop him from what he plans to do. I don't know how to tell him. I guess there's no saving him from his own choice. If he goes into jail the way he is now, he'll come out a hoodlum who's forced to be tough because of the things he'll have seen and the things he'll have had to experience. I'd rather have him dead. I hate the thought, but it's the truth. I just want what's best for him, and it's better to be dead then to be the way I am.

Author's Note: Well, what did you think? I really wanted that fic to be good, but I'm not sure if it was as powerful as I wanted it to be. I'd really appreciate reviews on this, it would help me so much!

If you liked this, or even mildly enjoyed it, then please check out some of my other fanfiction. All of my Outsiders fanfics are about the relationship (non-pairing!) between Dally and Johnny, since that's my favorite aspect of the book.

Thank you so much for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it!