Hey people! Misty here, I know I usually try to make the angst stories sound depressing but I'm giving a whole new approach, I going for a shot at humor yay! (Monotonous cheer) Please don't be stuck with the image that I am really a sad person all the time. Oh god, even the sound of my name makes me sound more quiescent and lifeless. sigh anyways here is my attempted story for humor I hope you like. Please enjoy! ...if you can.... (Yes I am aware that "Kuwabara" is Kazuma's last name. I'm just used to him being called that. So it doesn't make sense that I refer to him as Kuwabara when Yukina name will follow shortly after right? Wrong. "Kazuma" in this fic is now his last name, I know, I wish to confuse you all mwhahahaha.) I kinda made Hiei the one to suffer the embarrassment, so for all the Hiei lovers' run! Run now while you still can!! J/k
"Quit stalling, you excrement of a human being!" (:( Hiei yelled at me.)
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu haksuho, but I do own the idea of this story so please don't steal it.
Chapter 1: true beginnings
Hiei being the lone wolf sat in the tree above, watching over the engagement party but not approaching. It was quite a spectacular festivity, with the sultry sound of Hawaiian music in the background and an abundant source of food on every table. As much he hated to attend he had promised Yukina he would be there, for the duty as an older brother. He didn't want to dishearten his sister but it didn't matter, there were too many people for her notice that he was missing, she was too preoccupied with the other guests. "Damn you Kuwabara, making my sister work like she's in some god damned sweatshop." Really he was happy his sister was one of the few who could find happiness in this cruel world. Even though he would never admit it. He peered through the leaves every so often checking on Yukina and sneaking a glare at Kuwabara in suspicion making sure he doesn't do anything incredibly vulgar.
Kurama being the social butterfly was expertly mingling among the other guests. He was quite a connoisseur at making elegant conversation, a refined matchmaker, making everyone in the group involved amongst themselves in discussion. He chatted sophisticatedly, nodding in agreement, tasting his wine every so often closing his eyes, letting the liquid slip through his lips and letting the taste linger in his mouth, enjoying the true quality.
Yusuke on the other hand, was very laid-back. Talking to Keiko most of time. Drinking his sake carelessly raising his glass for seconds. Kurama moving out of his soiree of intellectuals stepped out for a brief moment. "Yusuke, you really shouldn't drink too much." He said in a concerned tone. "Kurama-kun I've been trying to convince him this past hour, he's as stubborn as a mule!" Said Keiko in resentfully. "Kurama prince of pragmatism hic pshhh hahahah!" Kurama rolled his eyes. "Well, at lease he seems to be speaking of some sense, He said doubtfully, I suppose it is tradition, being Kuwabara's wedding and Yusuke's coming of age." "I suppose." Said Keiko worriedly. "I drank before." He said wearily waving off his hand. "What?!" Yusuke smirked. "Keiko you worry too much," He said with a sheepish grin, pulling her towards him temptingly. "Are you up for seven minutes in heaven?" he whispered in her ear while pulling her closer to him all the more. Her face turned to a fluorescent pink she was blushing madly.
"Yusuke." She sighed "Yusuke kissing me in public? Why do I feel so nervous? It is just Yusuke, isn't it?" she thought of the pleasuring ecstasy, she began to feel weak in the knees, and she was beginning to feel light-headed. She thought content fully unaware of Kurama's presence. Kurama got the hint, and left the two young lovers with a smug look on his face. Yusuke pulled her closer to his lips. Any moment now, they were almost within the kissing boundaries of no return. It would seem wrong if she rejected him now. She turned away suddenly leaving Yusuke with the unsatisfying peck against her cheek. "hm?" "Yusuke I would love to but...." She paused "you stink like sake and your drunk!" She said despondently. He stared downheartedly at the ground obviously in disappointment. Keiko felt bad "Well....., she stammered, teaches you not to drink so much Yusuke." She said dignified. "Teaches me not to bring you to a party sober." Yusuke sighed looking at the bottom of his sake glass. Keiko clutched her hand against her heart feeling it pound immensely. "I don't think I was ready anyway." She thought self-reassured.
Kurama was walking along a path when he stopped and sighed to himself as he stared at his refection in his whine glass. His eyes turned towards couples at the party. His eyes drifted from the party towards a nearby tree. His placid eyes reflected from the moonlight. He stared motionless. He grinned all-knowingly "Hiei, your so easy to read." He stared at the forbidden child above. He knew he was there. Although there was no sight of movement there was an un-acknowledged silence of tranquility and peace that lay between them. "So you found me," a cryptic voice said protracting from the trees' leaves and into the wind. "You should really join the party." He said sedately as he was sipping his whine. "Hn" he replied callously. Kurama shrugged it off and disappeared into the darkness.
"They all seem to be doing fine without me. Every time I leave the fun just seems to begin." Hiei thought to himself bitterly. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the slight tapping of raindrops dripping from the branches. It started out as a light rain, then it started pouring harder and harder; Yukina and Kuwabara ran quickly to cover the barbeque grill "wonderful" Hiei said sarcastically sighing looking at the leaky roof of branches as the raindrops were falling on his face. He blinked his eyes wiping his face against his shoulder. "Looks, like I have no choice but to go inside." He grumbled. The music immediately ceased. The Caribbean crew (music band) fled off the stage gathering their instruments heading for cover.
Kuwabara and Yukina ran to cover the food. They worked together as a great team. Their movements moved synchronized as a dance routine. They held both ends of the tarp and they lifted together correspondently. The giant sheeting landed gracefully over the table covering all the plates. Yukina grabbed her arms full of plates and silverware in both her arms and ran hurriedly after the house. Kuwabara following the same procedure followed shortly after. Being the gentleman that he was he offered Yukina to enter the house first, even with his hands full he tried balancing them enough to manage opening the door for his beloved.
"Well I can't leave him with my sister alone." Hiei jumped off the tree and ran towards the house. It was considerably crowded. "Tch. I see no point in these family reunions." He stared at the swarms of people pushing and shoving their way to the table of food like a mindless herd of cattle. He stared jadedly at all the seemingly overweight people rushing over to the food and scraping out as much food as they can making heaping piles on their plastic plates that were so loaded were about to bend in half. He looked over to see Yusuke and Kuwabara doing the same. His eyelids closed halfway over his eyes giving him an expression as if to say I-should-have-known look. Yusuke called over "Hey Hiei! Come on! There's plenty for everyone!" Hiei stared at Yusuke and Kuwabara that showed the resemblance as pigs more than ever. "As if I'd self-degrade myself." "Do you not like it onii-san?" He turned around to find Yukina staring at him with concern. "I'm just not really hungry." He said bluntly. There was a disturbing silence for some time. "Oh, okay." And she turned away feeling slightly disappointed.
Kuwabara immediately dropped his food and ran over to Hiei gripping his collar. "What did you say to her? I hate it when she doesn't look happy." Hiei removed Kuwabara's hand indignantly. "I just said I wasn't hungry." He said harshly. Kuwabara glared at him "I can't believe you said that. Even after she's been slaving over hot stoves the whole day to cook for us. You should be ashamed." Hiei scoffed. Kuwabara headed back to the kitchen continuing the conversation. "The little shorty doesn't know what's good for him." This was really getting to Hiei. "He's the one making my sister work like she's his god damned servant." he normally would have gladly kicked the crap out of Kuwabara, but since his sister was near he leaned against the wall and tried to conceal his anger. "Just one day." He mumbled to himself quietly "just one day."
Being held off in the house while hanging around outside no longer seemed legible he couldn't help but feel bare, knowing there was no other reason for his stay at the party. He sighed feeling guilty, "This really is stupid, but eating does take off the tension in Ningenkai, he stared at the loads of people hovering over the dining carts, simply grotesque." He finally gave in. He slipped through the ground given his size was relatively easy. "I was here first small fry!" yelled an obese woman, making this easily her second trip around. Hiei's eyes darted to her plate and looked back to her. The plate was easily halfway full and started to spill out from the sides. He glared at her. "Your eyes are larger than your plate." He said in a bloodcurdling chilling voice "What's that supposed to mean?" she said in a gruff voice. "It means you are accountable for your own corpulence! Take no more than necessary, and judging by your plate stains I'd say that was some time ago." The woman's mouth dropped. She brought her double chin back to her face as she spoke "Well I never!" and walked off. He glared at her as she turned to leave. "Hn" he said with a slight hint of satisfaction having the last say.
Hiei rummaged through the crowd. It was easy at first but the deeper and deeper he went the harder it was to get through. "This is impossible, I'd rather take my chances outside!" Hiei yelled as he was pushing people aside. To his surprise the second he exited the door the sky had cleared. "Must've been a slight shower." Said a jaded voice. Hiei turned around to find Kurama at his side. "Why are you always around me?!" Kurama beamed down at Hiei. "To keep you company." "I need no such thing." "Oh I think you do." He looked at Kurama skeptically. "What are you getting at?" he said with a tone. "Oh great now the hula dancers can still come over!" came a shrill voice of annoyance that can only belong to that of Kuwabara. "Hula dancers?" Kurama and Hiei both asked in confusion.Sure enough by nightfall the dancers arrived. They arrived in groups big and small, they seemed very mysterious. Each female seemed to have an inexplicable beauty and an eccentric aura of stunning impressions.
"C'mon Hiei, give the girl one dance!" Yusuke shouted drunkenly as he shoved him into the hula girl. "Imbecile!" Hiei yelled as he dove face first in the hula girl's coconut bra. She giggled slightly. "Well why didn't you ask me if you wanted to dance tiger?" Hiei shook his head "No, no I..." The girl grabbed his arm vigorously and swung him around him. She danced in fast circles around him. She wiggled her hips energetically, teasing him to come forward. Hiei was evading. He tried to retreat but he was cornered by all the other dancers "this is the end." He thought.
She moved closer to him proceeding with the seductive dance. All the other dancers stopped and cleared a path in the center for Hiei and this mysterious dancer. "Clearly this must be a tribal dance of tradition. A ritual. I read about these. Am I the human sacrifice?" Hiei thought flirting with the idea of death. The girl approached him more forcefully now. Coming closer into his space for intimidation. "She is trying to woo me into some trap. I will not be defeated. This is a world of one code only, kill or be killed. I will not hold back simply because she is a woman." He could see the reflection of the flame in her eyes as she winked at him; he knew she was planning something devious. "Very well woman, I accept your challenge!" Hiei yelled reaching for his katana. The crowd went wild cheering him on.
"Yeah! shake what your mama gave ya!" yelled Yusuke eyeing the hula girl's luscious behind. Keiko slapped him square in the face "Yusuke you baka!" he landed straight in the dirt. Yusuke rubbed his cheek that was as red as a cherry. "What?!!" he yelled scornfully. "You're obviously drunk!" she said hotly. "I'm not either!" shouted Yusuke crossly waving his sake glass in the air like an idiot. "C'mon Keiko, live a little!" he said as he slapped her ass. Her back stood upright in shock; she turned her head towards Yusuke slowly. This time she was fuming; her whole face turned a bright red. "YUSUKE!" (Uh.... let's just say this time it took him more than a couple of seconds to get up from this one)
As Hiei reached for his katana his hand fumbled around his belt searching for it. He looked down to find it was gone. "Had it slipped off...No my sword had always been beside me in the hardest of combats. Somebody must have stolen it." He looked t the mass of people suspiciously. He eyed each one and examined with his jagan for any entrenched demonic powers. He suddenly saw his katana in the hands of Kurama waving it in the air in a playful gesture of authority.
"It can't be!" Hiei stared at him in disbelief. "Why have you betrayed me Kurama?" He thought franticly, his mind was racing. He looked up at Kurama and clenched his fists tightly to suppress his anger building up from within. He held up his fist threateningly to Kurama. Kurama shrugged it off casually and smirked. "Stupid fox, damn all those years worth of stealing in Makai." He put his fists down and looked at Kurama in equity. He chuckled in discontent admitting defeat. "Touch" he murmured. "So the saying is true, keep your enemies close and your friends even closer." He thoughtrepugnantly.
Just when he was about to say something the girl took his hand and spun him around. Hiei being an inexperienced dancer slipped and stumbled backwards only to be caught by one of the other girls. He was cornered now. The leading dancer (mysterious dancer) approached him and started soothing her hands around his backside and started rubbing his chest alluringly with her hands, she obviously had experience in this. Her hands slipped farther and farther down his chest getting closer and closer to his manhood.
He started to feel slightly red. "Get your hands off me!" the music ceased, and everyone stood silent. The girls' hands faltered from Hiei's grasp to her sides. She looked back at Hiei with a wistful expression. Her face was pensive and melancholic, as if she had just failed at doing the one thing in her life that she could do, her profession. Hiei stared face clear of all idioms. Just then Kurama with his transcendent agility flew in the middle of the circle gripping Hiei by the waist and pulling him and disappeared into the crowd. Kurama was so quick with his elegant grace the crowd didn't even know what hit them. The crowd's voices raised in excitement "what the happened? He was just here!" The Caribbean crew played a quick romantic melody to brush away the awkward moment, and into sweet song and harmony.
"Damn you, you aristocratic miscreant! What the hell are you doing? Get the hell off me!" Hiei yelled with an outburst. "Shut up, you'll get us caught." Kurama murmured. "I think it's safe now." He said looking off in the distance as he set Hiei down. "I never expected you to sink so low, Kurama" he said reprimanded. Kurama stared at Hiei with his poker face. This made Hiei slightly apprehensive, he couldn't tell what he was thinking behind those mystifying eyes, what evil plots could unfold. He stood there his face expressing all feelings of mistrust, betrayal, and deception. His eyes were now glaring daggers at Kurama. "You think I would actually want this?...Sorry not my style." He said elegantly as he tossed it back to Hiei. He grabbed it hastily out of the air and stared at it. "Then why-" "You think I would actually allow you to harm that poor innocent girl?" Hiei glared "She challenged me first, do expect me to walk away?" he said presumptuously. "No, I didn't" Kurama sweat dropped. "That's why I took it away." "You'd protect that outsider over me?" he barked unsheathing the blade and holding it up to Kurama's throat.
"Hiei, you were in no danger, Kurama said reposefully, in Nigenkai, when a female approaches you, you're just supposed to dance." He lowered his weapon from Kurama's throat. "Dance?" he asked questionably. "It's complicated." Kurama laughed at his own tedious efforts on further discussing the matter. "Listen, it might not be a good idea to go back, at least we should wait till things get quiet." "Hn" his eyes shifted to Yusuke running towards them. "Nice save Kurama," Yusuke congratulated. Hiei pounded Yusuke on the head. "What was that for!!" "That, was for pushing me into some stranger, which I was completely unaware of this "dancing" concept." "Yeah, yeah whatever." Yusuke complained while rubbing his head while walking over to the house. "You know what, I'm getting all the beating at this party, I think I'm going to take off while I'm ahead Kuwabara." "Yusuke?" Keiko asked while she politely tapped his shoulder from behind. "What?" "I offered that we could stay after to help them clean after the party." She said as she was nervously intertwining her fingers and tapping against her fingernails. "Oh man!" groaned Yusuke while Kuwabara grinned.
Meanwhile Kurama and Hiei were still arguing. "No I didn't, I simply grabbed it while you weren't looking, I really think you're senses are getting out-of tune Hiei." Kurama joked. "Be that as it may, at least I'm not the one using old tricks and insidious antics to steal from you Kurama," Kurama grinned slightly "that's because you can't." Hiei glared. "Well, I think I'll go congratulate Yukina and Kuwabara before I leave, bye Hiei." Hiei didn't respond, he turned his head as Kurama was leaving. Kurama walked placidly towards the house when suddenly he stopped, he looked at his wrist and started fumbled around in his pockets. "Hey, where did my watch go?" He started looking on the ground on all fours. Hiei stared at this and found it rather odd.
"You lose something fox?" "Yeah I lost my watch have you-?" he immediately stopped when he saw the watch dangling above his head. He raised his gaze and stood on his own two feet. "Was it this?" he said sarcastically. Kurama didn't answer; he took the watch from his hand and latched it onto his wrist. "Touch" he said quietly only for Hiei to hear. Hiei turned a cold shoulder arrogantly with his head held high. This time Hiei walked off with a little more class. "I still got it." He whispered to himself dignifiedly. Kurama stared at Hiei (anime sweat drop) strutting off valiantly. "I'll just pretend I didn't notice." He thought to himself contently "just this once." He gazed at Hiei once more as he was turning to leave. The fire demon was gone. A smirk curled upon his lips as he turned around and headed his way.
As Kurama approached Kuwabara and Yukina he was already beaten to the arrival of Yusuke and Keiko sending them their best wishes. Yukina smiled at Keiko and her face suddenly turned to concerned as she faced Kurama. "Kurama-kun have you seen Onii-san? He's been avoiding me this whole time, she looked down at the ground he face pained, and I think he's angry with me." "He's not angry with you." He replied honestly. "I haven't seen him since I was preparing food in the kitchen. Have you seen him?" She asked gripping Kuwabara's hand tighter. "Actually I was just having a word with him not too long ago." Kuwabara remained silent, obviously not overjoyed about the news. "I must speak with him." She said unwavering. "He'll come around when the time comes, Kurama spoke as wisely as an old sage,
"Hiei has a very troubled past, keeping his dignity intact with his skills of martial arts. Hiei has adjusted through hard times and preceded with living, even at times when death looked most tempting he did not lead his life to be forsaken. Despite his lifestyle being an unbeknownst member to his family, he still chose to remain incognito to his long-lost sister. Years later, revealing his identity, shortly after, you two decide to be wed. I think deep inside Hiei feels like he's losing you again, giving up your position as a sister and becoming a wife and supposedly a mother. I'm sure this gathering certainly brings back pained memoirs that had been bordering the line of recollection and forgotten. There are certainly some scars to his past that cannot simply be erased; even though I'm sure they are greatly outweighed by contented ones since he's been here.... I'm sure he's happy for you both.... Just give him time."
"Kurama, you are always the one to engage into introspection." Came a cold voice form behind. "Although your analysis although rather intriguing, completely incorrect," All eyes were on Hiei. "I'm not one to attain for parties." Kurama sweat dropped "ah" he said inarticulately while scratching his head. "Good guess Kurama." Kuwabara encouraged. "Onii-san, Yukina stepped forward, we were really worried about you." She said as she reached to touch his shoulder. He shook it off brusquely "You needn't bother." "Hiei, Kuwabara stepped forward behind his fiancé, even if you hate me, you're family now. And-" Hiei rolled his eyes and held up his hand in a halt "spare me." "Oh this is a Kodac moment." Yusuke cheered. "Enough!" yelled Hiei as he stormed into the darkness. "Onii-san." Yukina whispered. "He'll be back." Kurama reassured. "I'm not so sure....Kurama-kun could you?.." She faltered. He looked at her eyes full of concern. Kurama hesitated. "Sure." He agreed as he followed after Hiei into the shadows.
"Hiei!" "What do you want fox! I don't want to talk about it!" Hiei yelled. "Hiei! Pull your head out of your ass and listen to me!" this made Hiei grimace. "If you want to feel sorry for yourself that's one thing, but there are people here who care about you and worry about you." "Mind your own damn business!" Kurama's expression turned from angry to sympathetic. "Hiei, she'll still be your sister." Hiei turned his head and didn't answer. Kurama was beginning to have little tolerance. He walked over to Hiei and spun him around so he was facing him "Hiei, tell me what's wrong!" "I hate him..." Hiei mumbled. "Hmm?" "I hate him!!! I really hate him! I can't bear to think of the thought of him deflowering my sister and having her children." "At least they had the decency to wait right?" Kurama said with an encouraging smile. "Hiei, it is something that lovers simply do. It cannot be helped, it's not if he's molesting her." Kurama suddenly clasped his mouth. "What?" now this thought was really making Hiei's blood boil. "How dare he, right under my own nose. That son of a bitch, I'll kill him I'll kill him!"
Sorry for lost time I've been practicing my walk of the living dead. And no I'm not Goth for those shallows out there who believe death walking is only a gothic sport. It actually is a handy walk. It is a non-communicational skill that can tell a being with any common sense to back off or simply saying the message to not be disturbed. Which proves to be a very useful skill at my house. Being constantly annoyed by your sibling works to your liability. Don't depend on anybody but yourself out here. I don't think my sister would leave me alone if her accompaniment were the simple cause of my death. Anyways this still doesn't prove a good excuse for my absence. (I just felt like typing up this part, even though I have been trying to do the walk of the dead. Just not that seriously anyways heheheh) I don't know where that came from...anyways please review!! hope you liked.
-Kuramaz grrl