Author's Note: I read a few of these "333 ways to get kicked out of _" fics and I must say, they are freaking hilarious.

Anyway, I decided to start my own as a collaboration with my beta. I have also gotten permission from the lovely Miss iTorchic and the fanatical AngelWings228 to write this fic.

(A little advertising here) For those of you that enjoy FMA and/or Hetalia, please check out iTorchic's hilarious 333 crackfics for those fandoms!

Holy poodles. I'm posting this on Labor Day...

1. Hide something (or someone) on the ceiling and see how long it takes for people to look up.

Komamura drooled the whole time. Apparently, even a sudden storm of falling dog hair and dander didn't even rouse Sasakibe, who was deathly allergic to dogs.

2. Start a pokefest.

"Poke."

"..."

"Poke."

"..."

"Poke."

"..."

"POKE."

"GODDAMNIT I GOT IT ALREADY, YACHIRU!"

3. Smash the person in front of you with your zanpakutou.

Kenpachi was hoping that Yumichika would crumple to the ground. He didn't expect Yumichika to jump up and smash Ikkaku's head with his zanpakutou. A chain reaction began.

Unohana had never hated Kenpachi more in her life when a couple hundred eleventh division Shinigamis showed up at the fourth division sporting concussions. .

4. Go up to an old man and yell in a loud voice, "GRANDADDY! YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!"

Only Yachiru would be able to pull this off without being singed to death by Ryujin Jakka. Well, maybe Toshiro could if he acted more like his age.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

5. Reenact scenes from "Snakes on a Plane," albeit with real snakes, of course.

Never had the halls of Seireitei heard such loud screaming. Who knew that Ikkaku, of all people, was terrified of those reptiles?

The answer: no one, save for Kenpachi.

6. Move "Caution: Experiments in Progress" signs to random areas.

That explains why Byakuya was afraid to walk into his special garden...

And why the fourth-division Shinigamis were LTAO-ing...

And why the twelfth-division Shinigamis were pissed.

7. Install an intercom into the soutaicho's office.

For the elderly Yamamoto, it had been quite easy to scream insults halfway across Seireitei without even leaving his chair.

"GET YOUR FREAKING ASS OVER HERE INTO MY OFFICE, SASAKIBE. NOW."

Mayuri cursed himself for not coming up with that idea in the first place.

8. Use that same intercom to broadcast gossip.

Rangiku snuck into the office.

Along with the rest of the SWA.

The rest is better left unsaid.

9. Get a Batman costume, put it on, and run around screaming "ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!"

Kenpachi made a pretty damn scary Batman. Only Yachiru had the guts to jump on his head, yelling "LET'S GO!"

Now where exactly was the Batmobile...?

10. Hide in the sake cellar and sporadically jump out at people yelling "PICK ME!"

"And here we have a nicely aged specimen. This baby here has nice floral tones, a smooth finish, and faint apricot notes."

"PICK ME!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"... And here we have a "Yumichika Ayasegawa." Aged for quite a few years, but has a very immature flavor. Distinct notes of gayness, swirly-ness, and a huge tone of glitter."

Author's Note: Meh, at least I tried... to be funny... :)

Review? Suggestion? Crit? Leave it all here in the shiny white box under this!