A/N: I started this story in August because I haven't exactly done a lot for the Symphonia fandom, and I felt that something for it needed to be done. So hence comes this. I felt like doing a Christmas fic, okay? Here it is; your guys' Christmas present. I was on a high when I started this as I'd just seen Josh Groban live in concert! So yeah... By the way, I have always thought glasses would look good on Zelly. I'll talk more in my bottom author's note.
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. I own Xylia Eckheart, who's mentioned in this chapter, and the plot; but that's it. Okay? Okay.
Night One: Confessions
Christmas in Flanoir was always a quiet affair. While in the other cities of Tethe'alla it was a season to rejoice and throw fabulous parties, the people of Flanoir took a much more subdued approach to the whole affair. Much like Ozette, the two cities were rather secluded from the rest of the world, and would much rather keep it that way.
It was also one of the few cities where one could spend the holiday season alone. If you wished to have a quiet Christmas away from the hustle of the large cities, then Flanoir was the first choice. The snowy city had a sort of dream-like quality to it; like it just came off a Christmas card.
This was very much the case for the ex-Chosen of Tethe'alla. Not feeling the need to join the others for what had become their tradition of throwing a Christmas party in Iselia every year; he'd instead chosen to move out to Flanoir and spend the holidays alone. He had, of course, received an invitation to it, but he'd never felt completely welcome at those gatherings; like he was an outsider who was merely there as an after thought.
Everyone had settled into the reunited world well; Colette and Lloyd were still gathering Expsheres, but made sure to return to Iselia in time for Christmas and New Year's. Raine and Genis still traveled the world to spread awareness about half-elves, Sheena was slowly taking over as the chief of Mizuho, and Presea and Regal had taken care of sealing off the Toize Mine and aiding in helping the world on its way back to stability.
The last member of their rag-tag team, Kratos Aurion, would always turn up unexpectedly; and no one knew precisely where he was at any given time. As such, they'd never bothered to send him an invitation, so it was often a surprise when he showed up.
When they'd first been able to settle into the new world, Zelos had made sure that diplomatic relations were opened; with Sheena as Tethe'alla's representative. Once mostly everything had been smoothed out, he decided that Tethe'alla really didn't need him all that much, and had moved to Flanoir. He'd been hoping to disappear; that none of the others would seek him out and try to involve him with their reunions and parties. But he knew that was a little much to ask for. Sheena had Mizuho's resources, and had found him within months of his move.
He hadn't minded when Colette and Lloyd had stopped in on their journey, and had enjoyed their company. But he'd declined their request that he come with them; saying that they'd like it if he'd come with them. The request had been tempting, but Zelos had been firm in not going; telling them he really wasn't the type to 'play the hero'.
Besides, his presence would probably hamper their budding relationship; and he did want them to be happy. He hadn't said anything about that, but it was one of the reasons he didn't go. And anyway, he liked the quiet that the town offered.
Now, with Zelos' history, you might think that living in a city where it was perpetually snowing would cause him to relive that moment over and over again. And you would be right, partly. Zelos was depressed quite often, and had taken to spending increasingly long periods of time in front of his piano; one of the few pieces that he'd brought from his home in Tethe'alla.
Sighing, Zelos looked back out over the snowy city from his window seat, papers strewn in front of him. Even though he had no one to share the holiday season with; he'd made the effort to decorate his small home.
It was a modest two bedroom place. He hadn't wanted anything too large as he was still living alone; and the place had a cozy air about it. Making the place into a home that suited him had been difficult, and he'd suffered through the awkward time where Sheena had first come to see him, only to find him splattered with paint.
The sitting room, which he was in right now, had pale lavender walls and was furnished comfortably. Most furniture in Tethe'alla came from Ozette, so people would have to order from there. Zelos had brought a few other pieces of furniture from his manor back in Meltokio, but he'd had to order quite a bit from the small town.
It had taken him much of a year to finish fixing the place to his tastes, but he was happy with the results. He'd settled into the place and was happy with his new home away from the world that he'd grown up in and despised.
Gathering all of the papers spread out around him, Zelos roughly shoved them into a folder and placed them on a corner of the piano. Grabbing the book he'd been reading, Zelos flopped onto the couch, snuggling into the comfortable piece of furniture. With Christmas rapidly approaching, he expected his one friend in Flanoir to drop by quite a bit; in fact, she'd promised to come by tomorrow to help him decorate.
Xylia Eckheart was the only person who'd made any attempt to befriend the sullen loner; and had even offered him a job at her cafe. The girl was out-going and friendly; she got along with people easily. She was younger then him; at nineteen, and he didn't see her in any romantic light.
A cafe might seem like an out of place thing in a place like Flanoir, but the small place was warm and offered some lovely hot beverages that couldn't be found anywhere outside of the city. The place had a welcoming atmosphere and Xylia had turned it into a successful business.
She'd even been teaching him how to cook, to some degree of success. While he couldn't cook anything fancy, he could make a few basic things. Which was something he was proud of; as he was a terrible cook before.
He pushed his glasses farther up his nose as he turned the pages of his book. The Da Vinci Code was an engaging read, and Zelos hoped to finish it up so he could start in on the prequel Angels & Demons once he did.
As the day wore on, afternoon turned to evening. His eyes wore a little sore from reading so much, but he really didn't mind it. When his hunger grew, he marked his place and set his book aside. Standing, he was just stretching his stiff muscles when there was a knock at the door.
"Who'd be here at this hour...?" stumbling around the coffee table, he hurried down the hall and opened the door. "K-Kratos?!"
"Are you going to let me in or not?" came the mercenary's only query. Zelos stepped aside slightly in shock. He hadn't expected to see any of his old friends here; and certainly not his teenage crush and adult-hood obsession. Kratos looked over to him, "I thought you'd be in Iselia."
"Err... I didn't feel like going," Zelos responded. Even at the best of times, their conversations were awkward. Zelos never knew how friendly he could be with the handsome mercenary without revealing how he felt about him. "But uhh... what are you doing here?"
"I was in the area," was his cryptic reply.
"Yeah, yeah," Zelos waved him off. "Have you eaten already? I was just about to start dinner."
"No; I only arrived in town just little while ago."
"Well, make yourself comfortable!" Zelos called back to him as he headed for the kitchen. "Shoes off at the door! You can put your outer wear in the closet! The sitting room is on your left!"
Kratos nodded, even though the ex-Chosen couldn't see him, and kicked his boots off. Setting them aside on the plastic mat and then storing his cloak in the closet alongside several other warm outer garments that he assumed were Zelos'.
"Is there anywhere I could dry off?" Kratos asked. His clothes were soaked through from the snow.
"Are you going to be staying here for the holidays?" Zelos asked, poking his head out from the kitchen at the end of the hall.
"If that's alright with you."
"I was gonna spend the holidays alone anyways," he came up to stand beside Kratos, and pointed to an archway. "That leads upstairs. My room is the second on your right; it's got a bathroom. You can take a shower and borrow something of mine... most of the stuff is too big for me anyway."
Kratos nodded and headed upstairs while Zelos disappeared into the kitchen to make dinner; the barest traces of a smile on his face.
A short while later saw Zelos setting the table. Humming a carol and placing the silverware on the table. Kratos joined him soon after.
Gawking was something that Zelos wouldn't ever picture himself doing, but here he was. Kratos had come down wearing a black turtleneck that fit him extremely well, along with a pair of loose-fitting dark wash jeans that looked a little wrinkled. He wasn't wearing shoes or socks.
Apparently, Kratos had noticed the younger man's admiring stare. He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, "I am going to assume that you like it."
A rose blush settled itself into the ex-Chosen's cheeks, who chose to stare at his feet to avoid making eye contact, "Y-yeah..."
Noticing for the first time that Zelos was wearing glasses, Kratos made his way over to the blushing man. He tilted his chin up to look at him, "I never knew you wore those."
"What?" Zelos froze. Shit! He'd forgotten to take them off! "Oh shit... I look like an idiot don't I?"
Kratos gave him a small smile, "Not at all. In fact, I believe they make you look quite intelligent." Not to mention very irresistible.
Returning the smile, Zelos responded, "Really? I avoid wearing them in public cause I think I look stupid... and because one of the maids made fun of me because of them when I was little."
"Well, the only person who's opinion should matter is yours. I, however, would argue that they don't make you look stupid. I actually like them quite a bit; they accent your eyes."
"Are my eyes that special?" Zelos questioned, arms unconsciously wrapping around the older man's waist; while the other's had done the same; the one he'd used to cup his chin had ghosted over to his cheek, keeping his head tilted at an angle so their eyes locked.
"They're... very beautiful. Like the ocean at sunset," came his quiet response. "There's something unique about them."
"Mmm..." Zelos enjoyed the contact. "I like your eyes... in the right lighting, they almost look blood red."
Kratos smiled at him before leaning in and sealing his lips over Zelos'. For a brief moment, Zelos was shocked. Never had he thought that Kratos would ever kiss him; well, he had hoped and dreamed of it, but he never thought that it would become a reality. Then, he realized that Kratos was kissing him, and he'd damn well better not pass the chance up to show him that he wasn't a complete virgin in this!
Pressing back, Zelos arched against the older man, molding his body to his. His eyes drifted closed and slipped his arms up to cup Kratos' face, he pulled him down and thrust his tongue out to meet the other's questing one. Whereas Kratos' tongue's movements seemed a little hesitant, Zelos' were firm and experienced.
Luring the other's tongue into his mouth, he gave a soft moan as the other roughly plundered his mouth; it having lost all its hesitancy. Surrendering to the older man's advances, Zelos relaxed completely in Kratos' arms and allowed his arms to drop down to his shoulders.
He felt himself being back up, and felt the table behind him; Kratos' strong arms lifting him to sit on it. All too soon, they broke for breath. Kratos' breathing was heavy, and Zelos was panting.
Zelos smirked, "You're good."
"I could say the same thing about you," the mercenary replied lowly, breath ghosting across Zelos' lips as he leaned back in. Just before he could claim the other's lips in another kiss, he felt soft fingers on his lips. "What is it?"
"As much as I would like to continue this," Zelos smiled at him. "Dinner is almost ready, and I wouldn't appreciate having a burnt mess for dinner." Kratos nodded, and let the other man down. Zelos gave him a short peck on the cheek before disappearing through the archway into the kitchen.
Kratos let out a heavy sigh before taking up the silverware that Zelos had left out and quickly setting the table. Once that was done, he was able to think of what had just happened more clearly.
It had been a while since Kratos had felt attracted to anyone; in fact, he hadn't since Anna had died. He'd always thought and believed that no one could ever find happiness with him; Anna's death and Lloyd seemed to prove that. The only reason that he hadn't returned to Derris Kharlan was because he felt that there was still things that he needed to do; that he could do to redeem himself.
He'd always been a cold and distant person; Anna had fallen in love with him despite that and he'd felt comfortable around her to let down those barriers. But after she'd died, those barriers had immediately returned, sealing his heart off from the rest of the world. He'd sworn never to let anyone back in to spare himself more pain and to spare anyone who fell for him the fate that had befallen everyone else who had loved him.
And yet, here he was spending the holidays with Zelos; and had instigated a kiss between the two of them. Kratos would admit to himself that when he'd first met the ex-Chosen six years ago, he hadn't treated him as well as he could have. But then, his heart was still reeling from Anna's death, and he was still struggling to come to terms with Mithos' plan to resurrect Martel.
It wasn't until he'd come to ask for Zelos' help a year after they first met that he'd began to realize just how depressed he really was. When he'd found him curled up with a knife to his wrist, there had been a pang of something that he couldn't quite name in his heart. While he hadn't been sure if Zelos had given the practice up, he knew what he would do if he hadn't.
For everything that they'd been through, he had to realize that the idiot meant more to him then anyone had in a long time. He knew that he cared for him deeply; but he didn't know if he should allow himself to love again.
"You look down," Zelos noted, tone and face serious. "Is it something you want to talk about?"
"Chosen I-"
Zelos frowned, "I'm no longer the Chosen. You more then anyone should know how much I hated being the Chosen."
"You have my apologies, Zelos. Old habits die hard."
"Is something wrong? You seem really... upset. Do you want to talk about it?" Zelos gently took his hand in both of his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I mean... I completely understand if it's not something you'd like to talk about; especially with me but..."
"Zelos? How do you feel about me?"
"Huh? What brought this on?" Zelos looked at him quizzically.
Kratos looked down at the floor, "Zelos I... I would appreciate knowing how you feel about me..."
Frowning, Zelos didn't push the matter, "Right now; I think you're being difficult. If this has something to do with you thinking people are better off without you then-"
"Despite how much I feel this goes against what might be best; I would honestly like to know how you feel about me as I know how I feel about you!"
Shocked at his outburst, Zelos asked in a small voice, "And... how do you feel about me?"
Kratos met the other man's eyes, sincerity and love shining from those wine red eyes, "I... I love you."
Stunned by this revelation, it took Zelos a few moments to regain himself. He found Kratos' eyes searching his face, he smiled, "You know... I never thought I'd hear you say that. In fact, I never thought anyone would ever say that to me and mean it. Kratos, I love you too."
"Why?"
His smile faltered a little, but he responded anyway, "You ask some strange questions; most people just accept it when someone loves them," reading Kratos' expression, he frowned. "Kratos, if anyone deserves to be loved; it's you. And don't think that you can just leave me; no matter how dangerous it could be, I'll stay with you. I'm not going to leave your side for any reason."
"I had a feeling you'd say that... but everyone who's cared about me has come to harm. I don't want to see you suffer anymore then you already have."
"But that was their choice; it's my choice. They chose to care for you; and in that, they knew the dangers they faced in doing so. I'm choosing to stay with you, no matter what may happen," he gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand. "So you're stuck with me."
"... thank you," Kratos' voice was low and choked with emotion; he returned the squeeze.
"Dinner's ready you know, so how about me eat?"
.:-o-:.
Dinner was a quiet affair. Both speaking in soft tones of various things; Kratos avoided the subject of what had brought him to Flanoir, and Zelos let it be, for the moment at least. Eventually, they finished dinner. The dishes were done and the two settled into the comforts of the sitting room.
Reverently, Kratos' hand ran through Zelos' long red locks. The other gazed lazily up at him; his head resting in his lap, his own hands resting lightly upon his stomach. Content to watch the other, Kratos knew that he still hadn't explained any reason for his being in Flanoir; but was hesitant to state the reason why.
Deep down, Zelos knew that Kratos hadn't probably come to Flanoir to see him; yet the thought hurt him more then he was willing to let on. There was no way that the other could have known how felt about him until he'd told him. Despite Kratos' keen observation skills, Zelos knew from experience that it was rare for someone to realize another was in love with you. Of course, he'd realized that Sheena had. But he had been so unwilling to push her away; to hurt her, that he'd allowed her to believe that he might return her feelings. And he felt terrible about it. The most he could muster for her was that of an older brother; to intensely protect his younger sister.
When he'd disappeared after the reunification of the two worlds, he'd known it was only a matter of time until Sheena tracked him down. And she had. She'd come straight to him, believing that she was the only person who could convince him to come back; only to find out that she wasn't. She'd cried, broken down, yelled at him; ordered him to tell her who it was that now held his heart. But... he found that he couldn't tell her; the words had stuck in his throat.
"You seem troubled."
Snapping back to reality, Zelos met Kratos' wine-red orbs, "I was... just thinking about something..."
"Is it something you wish to talk about?"
"Well... it was about Sheena..."
Kratos recognized the name, "The summoner?"
"Yeah, she came to find me last year..." Zelos began; the stroking of his hair ceased as Kratos listened to him intently. "And I... I found out that she loved me..." he paused at Kratos' sharp intake of breath. "I guess... she thought that I felt the same way... but I didn't.
"She was mad... mad at me; and indirectly at you, even though she didn't know that it was you who I was in love with. She demanded that I tell her who it was who had stolen my heart... but I couldn't. I just couldn't say it. I was terrified that she'd confront you; that you'd find out from her and... would hate me for it." He stopped, scared to say what it was that had terrified him so much.
"You're leaving something out," Kratos pointed out rather bluntly. Sensing the others hesitation and fear, he tried to reassure him with a featherlight touch to his cheek, fingers lightly tracing the outline of his cheek bone and jawline. "I would... very much appreciate it if you would tell me what it is..."
"I... I was so afraid that she would challenge you..." he told him in the barest of whispers. "That one of you would end up dead; and that I would have to deal with that loss... and know that the one left was the one who had ended the other's life... even though I don't love Sheena; she's still like a sister to me..."
Understanding, Kratos leaned down and placed a light kiss on Zelos' forehead, "I would not have fought."
"Huh? Why not?"
"Because of what I had believed you had felt for her," he responded. "I always thought that you had feelings for the summoner, but never voiced them. And even if she had said what you felt, I still would not have fought. Even in knowing how you felt, I would not have raised my sword against her.
"I don't believe you would forgive me for killing her; and I believe if she had come to me in that state, that there would have been a duel."
"You know, I always thought duels were fought over women; not men," he gave a harsh laugh. "But then, I guess I look enough like one..."
Kratos shook his head, "Not always; but you slightly resemble one. You're of a slighter build then most men."
"What do you mean 'not always'?"
"It's an old Mizuho tradition," Kratos began. "If two people both want the same person, then a duel is arranged. The survivor is the winner, and wins the rights to have the person who the duel was fought over. Even if both you and I are not of Mizohan decent, she would have expected us to adhere to the rules."
Zelos frowned, "And I'd get no say in this? I'd have to let two people who I care deeply about, one who I am desperately in love with, try to kill each other?"
"Not unless one of us retracted our claim on you. I, of course, would do so if it would have made you happy," his voice held traces of sorrow. "I've learned a lot in my life; and I would not want to cause you any more pain than you had already experienced. I'd renounce my claim."
Sitting up a little, Zelos rested his head against Kratos' shoulder, "Then I'd come after you. Doesn't the object of the 'duel' get a say in the matter?"
"No, they typically are forbidden from making any interference in it; and are expected to accept the outcome of the duel. An engagement ceremony typically follows such an occurrence, and it is quickly followed by a wedding."
A dead weight settled in Zelos' stomach. He knew that Sheena hadn't given up yet... and when she found out, he knew what would happen, "Kratos? I want you to say that you love me."
"What brought this on? She wouldn't still press for a duel, would she?"
"Please, just... just say it."
"I love you."
Zelos smiled and pressed a kiss against Kratos' mouth. A kiss that quickly escalated into a searingly passionate one that threatened to become something more if they did not stop it. Luckily, however, both were too exhausted to continue much further, and settled on cuddling together on the couch, eventually falling asleep.
.:-o-:.
I am pretty sure that this is the longest chapter I have ever written, no wait, phase four of Freedom is, but it only won by about one hundred words. It's over four thousand words and is seven pages long. Anyways, I know that there was no smut in this chapter; but don't worry, the smut shall come eventually.
Oh, and everything that they said about the duels in Mizuho? I made that all up, while I was writing the part where Zelos was talking about Sheena confronting Kratos about his feelings, I thought that it seemed like there should be some tradition about it. A way to settle who got someone if more then one person loved/lusted after one person. So the duel tradition was born, and I hope that you guys liked it. Just to note, as Kratos is not from Mizuho, there are a few details missing; but they'll be filled in eventually.
So thank you for reading, and I hope that everyone enjoyed the first chapter of my Christmas present to you guys. Please leave a comment/review and tell me what you thought! Feedback is most definitely welcome. Oh, and look forward to the next part; it shall be up soon.
Kat.