Scalding Hot Coffee
A Earthbound Fanfiction
In case you don't know, this story is the story told by Jeff about Jeff's story which is, about Jeff. Jeff was waking up when he woke up one morning whiff a cup of scalding hot coffee. By the way, have you ever had scalding hot coffee try to rape your fucking mouth in the morning? I bet you haven't you lucky son of a bitch. Anyway jeff drank the scalding hot coffee. Jeff hp is maxed out! He walked down the stairs of his dormitory to get to the elevator so he could head downstairs. Tony was waiting for him at the table. You know, the table. Only a fool would be unable to recognize this fucking table. Tony was smoking a bakers' dozen of cigarettes in his mouth, which was pretty rad. Tony leand towards jeff with his sunglasses reflecting in. He says, Jeff do you want to join a gang". Jeff though this pretty rad was pretty rad. I'm rad and I think this is rad too. Join a fucking gang already. Anyway Jeff didn't even has to say yes for to be accept. So they went and left winters on the sky runner which Tony had painted in the rad colors of rainbow. Don't you think rainbows are rad? Anyways they parked the sky runner in a rad parking garage in Onett. Mafia is pretty cool isn't it bro Tony said as he opened the valve that unlocked the mechanical opening sequence which opened the Sky Runner door. They went as fast as their feet could carry them, which was pretty fast, like sonic the hedgehog before he fucking sucked dick. They went to the arcade ofonett which was packed to the top of the brim of a hat with rad dudes. Actually these dudes were so rad that its more respectful to call them rad doodz. Tony gave them the secrt code to get in, no I cant fucking tell you the code because otherwise it wouldn't be a fucking secret. The bouncer let them in as they entered the strip club. The bartender knew tony so he offered him a bottle of draft. Tony graciously accepted the margerita and chugged the whole thing in one bite. Tony was pretty rad. But even tony radness could barely be competing with the rad doodz gathered in the pizza parlor. There was teddy (a fucking badass redneck from the deep sourth) pippi (not pippi long stocking you fucking lawyer shits) and beartiger, (im pretty sure I don't need to explain how rad a bear tiger hybrid would be). Ness wasnd there though because he was not rad, in fact hes fucking lame ass vanilla adventures of doing heroic shit will never be mentioned here because theyre fucking boring as fucking pop tarts seriously who fucking likes pop tarts, not any fucking rad doodz that's for sure. Well teddy was the leader of this gang and the gangs name was Fucking Rad Doodz Gang Club. Or fucking awesome gang for short. Teddy came up to Tony was was like "Sup my bro, whos dis kid," Tony took a nother smoke of his margerita and said Jeff. Bear tiger said "growl" because even though bear tiger hybrids are rad they can't talk on account of being bear tiger hybrids. Pippi NOT FUCKING LONGSTOCKING said "lol this guys a neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd". Jeff was inwardly outraged you could tell by how pissed he was. So he took a multi rocket bottle cocktail and blew the fuck out of the strip club. Teddy was blown away. He said "dude, join gang? You"
To be contined.