Once upon a time, in the merry world of KaibaLand, the two Kaiba brothers were walking down the street.
"Oh darling older brother!" the youngest said, looking up admiringly at his role model.
"Yes, darling younger brother?" the older responded, looking down at his short companion.
"I'm boooored! What can we do today?"
Kaiba looked to the heavens and scratched his chin. Suddenly, a bright light shown down upon them and a heavenly form glided down to them. The Kaiba brothers shielded their eyes as a voice boomed around them. "O, rich and powerful brothers of the surname 'Kaiba,' harken to my voice!"
"But where are you, oh spirit? I cannot see you!" the eldest Kaiba called.
"I'm over here, you idiot!"
The brothers looked off to the side, nowhere near the light, and found Marik in a white bathrobe swinging back and forth in the air.
"Uhh...is that a rope tied around your waist?" Kaiba asked.
Marik looked down at the very obvious brown rope against the white fabric. "Shut up. Do you want my advice or not?" he asked irritably.
"Why would I take your advice?"
"Because if you don't the kid will complain all day long of his boredom."
Kaiba thought he heard the theme song of some horror movie playing somewhere in the distance as he looked at his younger brother.
"Please, Seto?" Mokuba said, poking his lower lip out.
"NOO!" Kaiba cried. "NOT THE PUPPY-DOG POUT! ANYTHING BUT THAT! Okay fine. What is your advice?"
Marik rubbed his hands together deviously. "Okay, what you have to do is--"
FLASH.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! IT BURNS! THE LIGHT, IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!" he cried as the five thousand mega-watt light shone directly in his eyes. Then suddenly, SNAP CRASH! A giant spot light suddenly fell from the sky, missing the poor hanging figure by merely inches. "What the hell? WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE!"
Bakura peeked over a rail sheepishly. "What? What'd I do!"
Marik glared at him. "I'll tell you what you did you lousy--"
SNAP.
He toppled to the ground as Bakura sawed the rope in two.
Kaiba and Mokuba meanwhile had been staring blankly at the whole scene. Kaiba quickly clamped his hands over Mokuba's ears as Marik let out a steady stream of 'mature words.' BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
We interrupt this program to give you a special news bulletin. Two teenage girls were seen tearing through the city carrying weapons of mass destruction and a rabid squirrel in a cage. Back to you, Ted.
"...and that's how you fix your boredom!" Marik finished.
"Wait, back up! I don't think our viewers at home heard you," a guy with a black goatee and the word "DIRECTOR" on the front of his shirt called, running toward him. As he did so, his blonde toupee fell off and got eaten by radioactive roaches.
"Wait...do you mean to tell me we are being filmed?" Kaiba asked.
They suddenly noticed the hundreds of cameras and stage crew around them.
"NOO! I CAN'T BE SEEN LIKE THIS!" Marik cried. "My makeup! Where is my makeup? And my hairdresser! AND MY SPARKLEY COSTUME!"
Cher ran across the stage and powdered his face, attempted (in vain) to comb his dangerously spiked hair, and handed him a playboy bunny suit. She struck a pose in front of a camera and walked off stage.
"Soooooooooooooooooooo... where were we?" Kaiba asked, covering Mokuba's eyes.
"Well, since the master of ceremonies over there is trying on his bunny suit, I'll just tell you... again," Bakura said. "What you have to do is--"
Meanwhile, at Yugi's gameshop, a small group of unsuspecting teenagers were doing... stuff.
"...and that, Yugi, is where babies come from!" Yami finished, putting away his helpful and colorful charts and graphs.
Yugi stared expressionlessly at Yami and Tea, who had just given him the 'birds and the bees' talk. "But... I still don't understand... where do the polar bears come in?"
"When you're older, you'll understand," Tea said, patting him on the shoulder.
Tristan and Ryou were eating grilled cheese sandwiches and watching this with quite a bit of interest. "You know, I always thought there was a stork involved somewhere..." Tristan said.
"No, that's for weddings," Ryou said matter-of-factly. Tristan nodded knowingly.
Suddenly the door burst open and three shadowy figures rushed in the room. "QUICK! THE DUCKS ARE COMING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" one of them shouted.
Blink. "Huh?" Yami asked confusedly.
The very loud and outburst-prone shadowy figure blinked. "Oh, sorry. Wrong house."
"Um, is that... Malik?" Ryou asked.
Mailk nodded. "That's my name, don't wear it out." Ishizu and Odion were standing behind him, annoyed looks on their faces.
"What are you doing here?" Tea asked.
"I... don't... know..."
"EVERYBODY FREEZE!"
They all looked in terror as the evil monkey ninjas entered through the windows and parachuted down from government airplanes. "Put your hands over your eyes and walk this way!" they commanded.
"Why do we have to put our hands over our eyes?" Tristan asked.
"No one can know the location of our secret base! Don't ask stupid questions!"
Suddenly a piano fell from the sky and squashed Tristan like a bug.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
We interrupt this program for another important news bulletin. Tristan Taylor was killed today in a horrible piano accident. His funeral will be next Wednesday at 11:27 P.M. He was... a good man. I... knew him very well... (starts to choke up) WE PLAYED DRESS-UP TOGETHER SINCE WE WERE 12! (bawling like a baby)
Yami, Yugi, Tea, Malik, and Ryou were sitting in a large and cleverly disguised government van. Painted on the side of the van were the words "Not a Government Agent Van!" Yugi, unable to resist his childish instinct to disobey orders, peeked through his fingers. Every few yards there was a "Secret Base: This way" sign stuck in the ground.
They soon got to the "secret" base of the evil monkey ninjas. They stood before a large iron gate, listening to the crunch of Yugi's s'more. Wait... s'more? "Wait... where'd you get that s'more?" Tea asked questionably.
Yugi looked up at her with chocolate all over his face. "I... don't... know..."
Brittany Spears walked up to him and took his s'more, walking away saying, "That's mine! You can't have it!"
"What's with her?" Ryou asked.
"Pregnant," Tea said knowingly.
Suddenly giant bunny-shaped holes appeared in the ground and they all fell down them. When they got to their feet, they realized they were looking at the entrance to KaibaLand. Then quite suddenly Pegasus came out of nowhere, wearing a Funny Bunny suit. "Welcome to KaibaLand! I'm Kaiba, how may I help you?"
"...you're not Kaiba," Yami said.
"Really? But this piece of paper says I am," he said, handing Yami the paper.
He read it. "This is a grocery list..."
"Oh... I knew I was forgetting something." And he snatched the list back, and hopped away to Piggly Wiggly.
The leader of the monkey ninjas cleared his throat. "Sorry for the interruption. THIS is the real Kaiba," he said as the gate swung open wide and the Kaiba brothers walked out dramatically.
"Welcome, fools! Prepare for your ultimate demise!" Kaiba shouted. He snapped his fingers and the monkey ninjas got several large packages out of the trunk of the van.
"NOO!" they all shouted. "ANYTHING BUT THAT!"
Kaiya::eats popcorn: O.o Wow, we have issues.
Miyuki: o.O Duuuuuuuuude... where is this stuff coming from?
Kaiya: Lots of s'more eating, and hyperness.
Miyuki: We apologize to anyone who actually LIKED Tristan... it's just that... we don't. At all.
Kaiya: Wait a minute... where did Ishizu and Odion go?
Miyuki: Hmmmm... I don't know...
Ishizu and Odion :come in eating ice cream: What'd we miss?
Miyuki: Your lines.
Ishizu and Odion: Oh... oops.
Kaiya::peace sign: Later peoples! Please review.
Miyuki: I'll give everyone who reviews a cupcake:chibi smile: