Left without a Trace
It's been three years since I've been with him. Three years since I've gotten cryptic post cards and letters stuck inside pockets of coat jackets. Three years since he said those two awful words to me, "I'm leaving," and three years since he said those three beautiful cursed words to me, "I love you."
There's been no trace of him, no sign he's alive and well, or worse dead. It seems like he's vanished into thin air. Not even Liz or Jonas could tell me where he is or what he's up to and they've got a reputation at being able to trace just about anybody. I sighed; my mind always drifts me back to that cold December night. I remember it as if it happened yesterday.
I walked outside my front door and stepped into a pile of snow. It crunched under my boot, which had flattened the pile a little under the pressure. I walked down the stone steps leading off my front porch until I reached the end of my yard. Everything was quiet; the only thing you could hear was the humming of the street light a few yards down. The snow was starting to fall again so I looked up and caught a few on my tongue. To be completely honest, I don't even remember why I came out here, something in my gut told me that outside was the best place for me at the moment. So outside I went, even if it was below forty degrees.
I heard a crunch of snow, and saw a movement out of the corner of my eye. I continued what I was doing, but I made sure to keep an eye on my potential attacker. As if on cue, he walked out of the shadows and into the street light so I could see him properly. I knew it was a guy just by his body language. He took a few steps closer, I guess to see how I would react. I didn't move, but my eyes focused in on him. He came even closer, closing in the gap that stood between us.
He stopped a few feet away, and I had to catch my breath. "Zach?" I whispered. He nodded; he moved forward so he was standing right in front of me. "What're you doing here?" I asked his face looked blank and expressionless; he just stood there staring at me for a few moments until he opened his mouth and then closed it, his head looked to the ground, and he whispered, "I'm leaving."
I gently pulled his chin up so that we where looking each other in the eyes, "Why?" I asked my voice filled with confusion and hurt.
"I have unfinished business to attend to, and I don't know if I'm going to come back or not." He answered, he sounded cold and distant, but with a hint of forcefulness behind it.
"I'm going with you; you can't finish this a lone." I told him as he pulled away, forgetting that my fingers were still resting on the bottom of his chin.
"No," he said louder than he had meant to. "You can't come with me Cammie," he lowered his voice to a whisper.
"Why not Zach? Why don't you want me to come? Are you afraid I'd just get in the way of things? Afraid I'd slow you down?" I snapped. My heart was splitting in two. I couldn't stand looking at him knowing that I may never see him again, knowing that he either doesn't want my help or won't accept it. I turned around and started walking away from him before I could give him another chance to say goodbye.
"Cammie? Cammie!" He yelled, his voice cracking on the second one. The first sign of 'real' emotion I got from him all night. His hand had reached for my shoulder; while I was listening to him yell my name, preventing me from moving forward.
At the sound of his voice cracking I turned around, his emerald eyes where filled with water, tears I knew that would never actually fall. Mine, however, where falling freely without a care in the world. He pulled me towards him and wrapped me in a hug. I put my head in the side of his neck and wrapped my arms around the middle of his back. My tears spilling down my face and onto his shoulders.
"If they got a hold of you, I wouldn't be able to stand it. If I got caught at the same time and was forced to watch them torture you, it would kill me. I wouldn't be able to focus knowing you where in danger…" he trailed off answering my questions.
I gulped back my tears and pulled away from him for a minute, "when do you leave?" I asked him. "Tonight," he whispered, and that was all it took for me to go back into the crock of his neck. He held me as the snow still fell around us, forgotten. My tears eventually slowed and my breathing became normal. I sighed and let go so I was standing on my own. I had to put on a brave face, for him.
"I need to get going…" Zach said as soon as our embrace was over with. All I could do was nod my head. I turned around and started walking toward my door.
"Cammie," he called my name once more. I turned around and he smiled at me.
"I just wanted you to know before I leave, that I love you, forever," was all he said, I blinked in response and in the seconds it took for me to blink, he was gone, without waiting for me to say 'I love you too.'
I shook my head and shivered as though it was still December. As though the snow around us was still falling, and as if I wasn't currently standing out in the cloudless, clear blue, sunlit, sky. I walked toward the road and stopped by my mail box. I glanced to my right and saw a figure a few yards down, standing underneath the street light. I shook my head again to make sure I wasn't still day dreaming because I felt like I just witnessed this. I wasn't, and he was standing there, walking closer at a fast past. He closed the gap between us within seconds. I took a step back, completely dazed. He takes hold of my hands and kisses one of them.
"Hello again, Gallagher Girl," he said breathlessly.
"Zach," I whispered and engulfed him in a hug. He responds by hugging me back and twirling me around in a circle. He stopped and put me down, and we stared at each other for what felt like hours. 'Oh how I missed those emerald shining eyes and his signature class smirk, I thought to myself. He went to open his mouth, and I cut him off, "I just wanted to let you know, I love you too."
This is just something that popped into my mind while I was waiting to get internet on my laptop. I hope you enjoyed it.