Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. That whole shebang belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just take the characters and play with them sometimes.

Blanket Warning: Swearing, depression, attempted suicide, and AAAAAAAAAAAAAANGST.

Obscurity

Chapter 1

It's better this way, Bella thought as she watched a red line slowly make its appearance on her arm. Soon, she'd have made enough red lines that she would be able to slip into obscurity yet again. This time, though, she was taking steps to make sure she wouldn't be noticed again. Eternal obscurity was preferable to the pain and humiliation she felt.

I should have known he wouldn't want me, the thought sprang forth in her mind, and another red line appeared, crossing over the others. Stupid, worthless me for even thinking that that could ever happen.

This line was deeper than the others. Bella hadn't expected to go so deeply so soon. She wasn't done yet. Blunt panic began to creep through her body as she watched the crimson gush out of her arm and drown all the other red lines she'd made.

"Charlie!" she screamed. "Charlie! Daddy! Daddy, help me, please!"

Emmett walked into the high school, uncomfortably aware of the scrutinizing stares he was getting from what seemed like everyone. In reality, people were only giving him glances; it was kind of hard not to, since he was such a large student. Wherever he went, he was noticed. Usually it didn't bother him. But today… Today he would've liked to be obscure and inconspicuous. To not be Emmett McCarty for a little while.

There were people who were staring at him, people who had seen what had happened yesterday between him and Bella Swan. Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie were all giving him gimlet stares, stares that only intensified when he gave them a nervous wave.

"Guys, what's with the glarefest?" Emmett asked as he walked over to them.

"Guess what Carlisle just told us," Edward replied in a hard voice. "Did you know that there was a new arrival in the hospital yesterday? Some girl was rushed into the ER by her father, with one arm bloodied beyond belief, and a major artery in her arm cut. Carlisle said it was a suicide attempt."

"That's…horrible," Emmett said. "But that doesn't explain why…" he trailed off, his eyes widening in horror as it dawned on him. "Not…Not Bella? Bella Swan? She tried to kill herself yesterday?"

"And damn near succeeded," Rosalie viciously responded. "Lucky thing that for some reason she screamed for her dad and was saved just in time. I wonder what could possibly have made her want to go and do something like commit suicide yesterday."

"Let's see," Alice continued Rosalie's train of thought, tapping her chin mock ponderingly. "Well, let's start with who she talked to. There was –"

"Rose, Alice, I really don't have time for this," Emmett cut across them impatiently.

"No, but apparently you had time to crush this girl so terribly that she tried to kill herself to get away from the pain you made her feel."

"How was I supposed to know that she would go and cut herself to ribbons?" Emmett demanded.

"Emmett, you know that she's always been fragile," Jasper said harshly. "She's always been the quiet one, the timid one, the easily hurt one. You know that we all got that huge lecture when she transferred here from Arizona, about depression and suicidality? Jesus, the girl already tried to off herself once before."

"All I ever wanted was to help her," Emmett said quietly, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Well, you did an awesome job of it, really," Edward said mockingly. "You should get an award."

"Shut the hell up," Emmett said heatedly. "I need to go."

"Go where?"

"Wherever Bella is."

"You sure that's a good idea? I mean, this is your fault and everything."

"Shut up, I said!" Emmett roared, making everyone stare at him just like what he'd imagined, except now they were actually staring. "It isn't my fault what happened to Bella. But I'm going to go see her. I'm going to help her."

"Good luck, then," Rosalie snorted. "Oh, and just so you know, we're all extremely angry with you. I suggest you don't do anything stupid while you visit Bella."

"Rosalie. Shut. The fuck. Up. I won't say it again," Emmett said, giving them all a glare that more than matched theirs. "Oh, and just so you know, you all are assholes," he added before turning and rushing out to his Jeep. He needed to see Bella.

"Boy, you have a lot of nerve showing up here," Charlie Swan said, crossing his arms as he stared down Emmett, who'd rushed into the hospital in a near-panic. "Give me one good reason I should let you near my daughter after what you put her through."

"Please, Chief Swan, I swear I never meant to hurt her this badly," Emmett pleaded. And he didn't. He'd just wanted Bella to be happy, so that he could see that beautiful smile of hers. He'd wanted to help. "I have to see her, sir. I…I need to know that she's okay."

"She'll be okay, as long as you stay away," Charlie said in a tone like ice.

Emmett swallowed hard; that hurt. A lot. "Okay, sir. But…can I please at least see her? I won't say a word, I swear. I need to see for myself that she'll be okay. Then I'll leave her alone, you have my word."

Charlie stared at him for a long time, then finally said, "She's sleeping right now, so you can go in and look at her. But don't you dare touch her or even think about waking her." Emmett nodded and followed Charlie into Bella's room.

Emmett choked as he saw Bella lying on the hospital bed. She was so pale…and her arm… Emmett started to cry as he saw what she'd done to herself. What he'd made her do. He made no attempt to wipe the tears from his face, just letting them pour down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Bella," he mouthed to her. The tug on his arm let him know that Charlie had been as nice as he was going to be. Emmett sighed and turned to leave.

"Em…mett…?" He and Charlie both froze, then turned slowly. Bella's eyes were fluttering open, and Emmett bit his lip as her gaze eventually focused on him. "Emmett…you came…" she whispered, then began to sob.

"Leave." Emmett had already left the room and was running through the parking lot. He managed to get inside and close the door before he rested his head on the steering wheel and sobbed. The guilt and the pain at seeing Bella so weak, nearly dead, because of him… It twisted his insides like cake batter. His gasps for air seemed like they had to claw their way out of his throat so that he could breathe. His heart felt like it had been split.

Bella Swan…the girl he loved. The girl he'd lost. If just seeing him sent her into hysterics, then it was better that he stayed far away from her. It's better that way, he thought as he managed to get the keys into the ignition and start the Jeep. I should have known I couldn't want her.

A/N: Aaaand here's my latest idea, and one that will actually be completed fairly quickly, that I can confidently promise. It won't be very long, but I don't think it should have to be. It's what happens to me when I read angsty Twilight fanfiction. Blame other authors for this one, not me.

Anyway, I hope you'll stick around for the next chapter. I think they'll all be around this length, some may be a bit longer or shorter, depending on the way the story breaks itself up. It's literally writing itself. Please review and tell me what you think, either on every chapter or at the very end, as long as I get some sort of feedback.

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