--Okay, I know this is a little late, but I kinda forgot I wrote it.--
The Levee is Broken
Punch, punch, punch, mirror. Glass pressing against my face. Turn. His face holds hate and disgust.
Monster
Swing. Miss. I feel him grab me. I see the wood structure coming but I can't avoid it. Wood splinters, cracking against my, head, my back. I flip over. Glass stabs my back as the table caves underneath me. I can't breathe. The wind was gone when I hit the floor. I wheeze, trying to gain some oxygen.
The hate is stronger in his face.
Monster
I'm coughing, waiting to see what he'll do next. So much hate. I look away, trying to get my air back. I hear his footsteps. Maybe he'll come help me up. I shut my eyes. Maybe it's a nightmare.
Hands. Strong. Wrap around my throat and squeeze. No Sammy…No…No.
My arm flies up and tries to push his shoulder back, to get him away from me. He's enjoying this.
Monster
The pain in my throat is terrible. The pain in my back is worse. The remains of my heart are unbearable. Tighter. He's trying to kill me. He wants to kill me. Wants me dead, wants me out of the way. Then he can have Ruby. If it'll make him happy, let me die.
But not like this. Not by my baby brother's hand. My throat, my throat is caving in. Sound is gone. The edges of my world are darkening. Soon I'll be gone and Sam can do what he was destined to. He can stop Lucifer, not me. Let me die. I just want it to be a different way.
So much hate in the face I cared about so much. The face I would die for. Let it be.
Monster
He lets go before I can pass out. My eyes clear. I can hear again. Breathing is worse now, and it hurts. It hurts. Someone stop him. The glass…
He stands up slowly, watching me choke. I can only cough, otherwise I would have told him to finish. My eyes close.
Let it be a nightmare. Let it be another horrible nightmare. Let it be.
"You don't know me," He says. Breathe damn it, breathe. I can only gasp, my breath strangled. "You never did. And you never will." I look up at the ceiling. I'm ready to wake up now.
Monster
Tears. Can't let him see the tears. Hold them back. Help me Sammy, it hurts.
But he walks away. Toward the door. Toward freedom. No, no, he can't leave. If he does, if he does I don't want him back.
"You walk out that door," There's a chain wrapped around my chest and squeezing. Is that it? "Don't you," Please, Christ let me breathe! Give me some dignity, please. "Ever, come back." I said it. I forced myself to say it. He turns, looks down at me.
Is it hesitation, or is he sickened by the weak thing lying on the floor. Wait, that's me.
I look back, begging, begging him with all of my heart that he'll help me off of this floor. One last look, one last sneer before the door is opened and he leaves.
Monster
I shut my eyes. No. No, Sammy, come back! Please, please come back! Don't leave me Sammy, please…
Still can't breathe, but have to get up. The glass twists and sinks deeper into my skin as I sit up. It slices my hands, the tiny shards and large ones biting the tender skin. I leaned against what was left of the wooden structure. God it hurts. I grab it and try to roll over. The glass pinches in an awful wring. I breathe deeply, breath hitching when I feel the glass.
I can't. I can't hang on. Too tired. Too…too weak. I roll over on my injured back. I can't move. Sam kicked my ass.
Monster
The tears, they're back again. No, hide them. Make them go away. Right now I need to move. But how can I move when my lungs won't work? My body won't work right either. I don't have a heart anymore, Sam took it. He tore it out with those hands he tried to kill me with and stepped on it as he walked out the door, puncturing it with the glass as well. I look up at the ceiling again.
I didn't wanna say it Sammy, I didn't. You made me say it. You made me call you that. God, I didn't want to. But it's true. I've been watching you fade deeper and deeper into the background. It left this thing behind. This thing that didn't really want anything to do with me. It only wanted to shut me up. To kill me so it could live like it wanted.
Monster
My nose is bleeding. The glass…God the glass. Breathe. It's simple. In, out, in out. I can't even do that. Tired. So tired. Of everything. Of hunting, of Sam, of angels, of me, all of it. Jus' wanna sleep, forever.
I let my eyes close like they wanted to. Trying to ignore that awful pain. Such pain…
My chest hurts. There's a hole there, isn't there? I can feel it. It's ragged. Know why? 'Cause it's been cut with a rusted spoon to get my heart out.
Move. Move damn it!
Can't. Too tired. Way too tired. Someone help. Someone get me out of here. Someone rewind today. Someone take back locking Sam in that room. Someone? Anyone? Help me.
Don't think. Don't wanna think. Wanna sleep. Wanna forget all of this happened, just for awhile. Give me that much. Just a little peace. Please? Moments, agonizingly slow moments. I feel it coming. Sleep. Blessed sleep. Thank you…
Monster
Someone's touching my face. They should stop. I'd really like that. I hear a voice. What's it saying? Who cares? I probably should care.
"Dean!" The voice is like an echo, sounds so far off. "Dean! Wake up, kid!" Dean…Wait, I'm Dean. Right? Yeah. "Dean!" Leave me alone. I was dreaming. I was at peace. Leave me alone.
My body doesn't listen. My eyes open and I look up at the aged face.
"Jesus, what the hell happened to you?"
"Sam." I say. My voice won't even work right.
"I don't know where Sam is," Bobby says. "I thought he'd be here with you." I shake my head. He doesn't get it.
"No," I swallow. The pain in my throat intensifies. "Sam…Sammy did this." His eyes get real wide. He shakes his head. I shut my eyes. I don't want to see that pitiful look I know he's givin' me.
"Dean…" He's at a loss for words. "Dean I-"
"It's fine, Bobby." My voice is barely above a whisper. Bobby glances at my neck. I ignore him and force myself up, no matter how bad the glass feels, even after now. It's set itself in now. And my weight didn't help. I feel the echo of his fingers around my neck. I still see the hate.
Monster
The leftover fragments of glass stuck in my palms again. I gritted my teeth and pushed through the screaming pain in my back, and stood.
"Let's go." I say. He gave me a wary look, but I didn't give him time to ask me any questions. I walked out the door, out of the motel and to the beautiful girl that could never let me down. I shut the car door and start the engine. Her usual rumble isn't enough comfort this time. I head back to Bobby's without seeing if he's following me.
Tears again. No. Stay back. Don't let the weakness out. Just stay in my head.
Where did Sam go? To Ruby? Did he leave her and drive off? Is he going back To Bobby's to wait, and say he's sorry?
Wishful thinking. It's just wishful thinking. After the look in his eyes, he won't come near me.
Monster
I'm at Bobby's without realizing it. The trip seems so short. Because I was thinking. I get out of the car, desperately ignoring that fucking glass. I hear a truck pull in behind me. I hear the engine kill, I hear a door open and close. I hear someone trot down the gravel after me. But it's Bobby. Wishful thinking.
"Dean, you're bleeding." He says. I nod.
"I know," Voice still won't work. "Th' glass." The damned glass. He sighs.
"We'll take care of it." He says. I push the door open and wait to hear it close. I wanna be alone for awhile, but that's not gonna happen. Not right now. Bobby's worried.
"Just hang on a second, 'kay?" He says. I nod wearily. I stand in the living room, staring at everything and nothing at the same time. I hate this feeling. This empty, hollow shell that I'm in. I hate it. Sam was right. Hell had made me into this. Hell had made me weak. A few months ago I would have been able to kick his ass.
"You're weak." I hear his words loud and clear in my head, even if they are from months ago. Bobby comes back in the room, his brows still in a line, and every one of 'em's filled with worry.
"Sit down." He says quietly. I obey without thought. I peel both shirts off me and wait for the pain to come. I don't have to wait long. I remain silent through the whole thing. I don't want to hear my own voice. Bobby says he's sorry periodically. I shake my head as a silent okay and move on. One piece at a time. It's slow work, and Bobby hates doin' it. I'd do it myself if I could. Can I seriously wake up now?
Monster
More slow minutes. Seems like days. But it's not. Barely half an hour.
"Alright," Bobby says. "I'm done." I nod and stand, grabbing my bloodied shirts.
"Thanks." Fire when I talk.
"No problem." He says. It's late, I think.
"I'm gonna take a shower." Still fire. Vocal chords suck. I start to walk away.
"Dean," His voice stops me. "You sure you're alright?" No. Not alright. As far from alright as you can get. Am I gonna tell you that? Hell no. I'm fine Bobby. I'm-
"'M fine, Bobby." I don't turn. I keep walking, heading for the stairs. I know he can see my lie, but I don't give a shit.
The door to the bathroom opens at my hands will. I'm not even thinking about the simple motions I'm going through to get here. Until I see something moving in the mirror. Oh, that's me.
The lines on my neck are a deep red-brown. The bruise on my face from his fist is an ugly purple. I look down at my hands, cut up and still bleeding every time I move them. My face is pale and haggard. Long night.
Monster
The water's hot, real hot. I know it in the back of my mind somewhere. But I can't really feel it. Maybe it's shock. Yeah, I'm in shock. I think. Hell, maybe I'm dead. I swallow hard. Throat's still sore. It's getting better. I think. Don't really know.
I want him to come back. I wanna beg and plead for him to. I want my Sammy back. My brother. Sammy. Tears again. Damn it! GO AWAY!
Jus' 'cause you'll feel weak if you cry.
Bitches cry. That ragged hole's still there. I can't see it. Looks like nothin's wrong. But it is. Maybe that's why I can't feel. Someone took my heart. Sammy.
Sammy's gone. Sammy doesn't want to be with you.
Monster
I shut the water off. Air's cold. Dry off. Clothes. Shirt hurts. 'Kay, no shirt. The bruises look darker. The cuts look brighter. Skin's red from the water. I shake my head and walk away. Find the room I'm sleeping in.
"You don't know me. You never did. And you never will."
"You walk out that door, don't you ever come back."
Last thing I said to him. I told him to leave. Told him to go away. And he obliged. Wish he would have killed me. I'm supposed to be dead anyway.
Monster
I'm in the room. I can see the bed. Welcoming. Forgot, tired. I collapse on it, lying on my stomach. Back can't take the weight. I stare at nothing.
"Take your brother outside as fast as you can! Now, Dean, go!"
Only thing I remember about that night. I ran like hell to get Sam out. And from that point on I was supposed to take care of him. I tried. Tried hard, Dad.
Dad. Dad said kill Sam. I said no. Won't. Can't. Sorry, Dad.
Sammy. Little brother. Gone. Maybe forever. Maybe not. Dunno.
Tears again. Persistent. Not strong enough to keep them away. They come hard and fast, like bleeding. I bury my face in the pillow underneath me and cry, trying not to remember his face when he left.
Sammy's gone.
Monster
END
--Like I said, a little late but I hope you guys like it anyway! Feedback please!--