Never Apart

The smell of medication permeates the air, I watch as my boyfriend, my lover, my best friend, doubles over and pukes into the plastic bin I hold out for him. His puke is tinted red and he's got a nosebleed.
We're sitting on the hospital bed. He's getting worse. I hold back some of his hair for him. Finally he's finished, nothing left to throw up. I put the rectangular container to the side where a nurse quickly takes it away. I grab a few tissues for him and hand him a glass of water that the doctors set out. When he's got himself together I hand him a piece of gum. "You need it."

He smirks and lets me feed it to him. He leans against me and looks up with a genuine smile. Funny, he never used to smile when we were kids. He never really showed any kind of emotion.

I guess being diagnosed with leukemia can really change a person's mannerisms, yeah?

I stroke his hair, which is thinning. I think that's one of the things he's taken hardest, the loss of his hair. And to be honest I'm taking it pretty hard too. My favorite thing to do whilst waiting for his test results in the waiting room is to run my fingers through his soft, dark hair.

He looks up at me with those big, round eyes of his. He's got dark circles around them and his skin is bruising easily, making him look somewhat purplish. "Pretty scary, huh?" He asks.

I shake my head and kiss the top of his head. "No."

We sit in silence for a while before he speaks. "You're such a slacker. Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Nothing at all."

We're quiet for a long time after that. He eventually sits up and kisses me. His lips used to be so warm and soft and pink... but I notice that they've become chilled and chapped and have taken on a purple-pink hue.

I don't really mind though.

Later that night we get bad news. I don't really understand what all of the doctors are saying, but his parents and brother seem to. It isn't good.

He asks his family to leave and tells them that he loves them, but he needs to be alone with me for a bit.
"Naruto?"

We're lying down in his hospital bed and the buzzing of the machines is driving me crazy. "What is it baby?" I can barely recognize my own voice. I sound... so small. I feel small, really. Insignificant.

"It's over."

I sit up, suddenly angry. "Don't talk like that, bastard!"

He smiles. His bruised face pulls his blue, chapped lips up into a smile that seems so out of place on his face... my heart leaps, as if I've been stabbed in the chest. He nods slowly. "I'm going to die."

I feel my face contort as I try to hold back tears. "No, bastard!" My voice has become strained and squeaky, "Don't say that- you'll be okay!"

He pulls me down against his chest, where I begin to sob. He strokes my hair and kisses the top of my head. "But... it's going to be alright. I'll be with you forever." He strokes my hair, pulling my golden spikes out of my eyes and begins to stare into them. "You'll be alright without me." I shake my head vigorously and begin to cry harder. "Yes."
We lie there together, him holding me as I hug him back. He strokes my hair and kisses my head. "I love you, my dobe."

"I love you too."

I fell asleep in his arms that night. He died. I wish I could say that he recovered... but he just stopped breathing. I still continue to dream of him at night, and refuse to wash the blue shirt he left over at my house. I'm not ready to let go, like his family and mine have said I'll have to sometime. I don't know if I ever could.

All I know is that we made a promise one night, a few days after he was diagnosed. We were thirteen. I asked him if he would wait for me in heaven if he died before I did.

Sasuke said that he'd never even be apart from me.

This is dedicated to anyone who has or knows someone with any form of cancer. You're in my heart. 3