Out of the Woods

A fanfic inspired by Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff's song "Out Of The Woods".

J/C, C/7; Resolutions-Endgame-Post-Endgame

I do not own the lyrics that inspired this fic, the lyrics italicized in this fic, or the characters therein, but the plot of this story came from my own tiny shipper heart/mind, and it is copyright.

"Are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet are we in the clear yet are we in the clear yet are we in the clear yet, good."

When the ion storm destroyed all of Kathryn's equipment and she had no choice but to join me in building a life on New Earth, I thought that just maybe we were safe. I told her the Legend of the Angry Warrior, and she held out her hand. I linked my fingers between hers, laughing to myself thinking that she's spent far too long with Tuvok. Somehow, this simple gesture was more intimate than both of her hands on my bare chest in Sick Bay after the aliens had separated my soul from my body.

I didn't push, because I thought we had the rest of our lives to see what could develop if she would allow it to. I didn't push because the rest of our lives was a long time to be lonely if she changed her mind. I didn't push because there was something delicious about this slow build up that felt anything but inevitable.

But slowly, I thought, we were making progress. Every day, anxiety ate at me. Every day, I worked my body to exhaustion to try to distract myself. Every time I went on a vision quest, peace eluded me.

Then, the by-then-unfamiliar chirp of the combadge and of Tuvok's voice laced with static filled our small home. Before we left, Kathryn spoke again of parameters, or she tried to. She and the Captain couldn't quite see eye to eye.

"I walked out, I said "I'm setting you free.""

Each year, truly each day, a new danger presented itself, a new hope appeared and then disappeared, and I wondered when we'd be in the clear. The safety we wanted never came, and I tried to tell myself that moving on would be for the best.

"Looking at it now, we were built to fall apart, then fall back together."

Moving on didn't bring any more peace than staying in suspended animation caught between two worlds would have. Each day brought a familiar anxiety. I was never sure if we would make it out of the woods. Seven had so much to learn. She was brilliant, yes, and beautiful, but like so many women experiencing romance for the first time, she mistook lust or attraction for love, and assumed that we would be together for the rest of our lives. I had a chuckle, remembering my first intimate relationship. I had thought she was in love with me, and she had just wanted a night of sex. I was devastated. Maybe it wasn't just women experiencing romance for the first time…

I didn't want to hurt Seven, of course, but I also didn't want to end up trapped in a long term relationship with a partner who would only ever be a student.

"Baby, like we stood a chance, two paper airplanes flying, flying..."

I wanted a relationship with a fully formed individual, and even when Seven became that, there was no way to be certain that she and I would be compatible as life partners. She, of course, didn't think of that potential outcome.

Then, the Admiral arrived and everything changed. Once the debriefings ended and we began to settle into life in the Alpha Quadrant, I ended things with Seven. Instead of feeling like we had finally made it, we were once again in a place where each action created new questions and anxieties. I couldn't be the person she needed, and we weren't happy. And deep in the back corners of my mind—a place that I only allowed to be available to speak to me in vision quests—I knew that I had to ask again.

"Are we in the clear yet? Are we out of the woods?"

I invited her to come at her leisure. I was building a home on an open piece of land I'd purchased because I wanted to rebuild my life with my own hands. I told myself it had little to do with the life we'd left behind on New Earth, of course, but I bought the land because of its similarities to the planet where we made a home. I built the bathtub first. If I squinted, it was like I was living that life again, that it was interrupted for some five years, but not lost forever. It was comforting.

I was just finishing the first room when she came to visit.

"Oh." She sounded shocked, overwhelmed, and nostalgic, but not angry. Then she looked at me.

I smiled. "I didn't realize how much I missed it until I saw this property."

"You're rebuilding."

"Kathryn, are we out of the woods yet?"

She didn't answer at first; instead, she took it all in: the house I was building, the bathtub which she circled and ran her fingers over tenderly, the trees, the small patch of earth I'd cleared for a tomato garden. "When will you be finished?" She asked reverently.

"When the sun came up you were looking at me. You were looking at me, oh you were looking at me. I remember, oh I remember."

"Well, I thought for old times' sake we could stay in one of these." I pointed out the emergency shelter I'd been staying in, "At least until I've finished the cabin."

"The same floor plan." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"Good." She smiled.

"And I remember thinking are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet are we in the clear yet are we in the clear yet, good."

"Good."