Disclaimer: I don't own the arrowverse: the CW owns it.

Six Years and Four Months

"Love, like everything else in life, should be a discovery, an adventure,

And like most adventures, you don't know you're having one,

Until you're right in the middle of it."

~ E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of Gadfly

Chapter One: Suddenly

~ SYaFM ~

I pressed my back against the cool wooden wall, trying to separate myself from the cacophonous entity of the crowd. It was not even midnight, and I already had to fight the urge to give up on this endeavor and just go home. It wouldn't really hurt anyone. In fact, it would do the opposite; it would please me not to have this deafening music pound in my ears, it would please me not to have guys approach me only to redirect their attention when they saw it was me, and it would please me so much to be able to just get out of my bra and lie down. When Leo and Mat inevitably asked how the party went, I could just lie.

Except that I couldn't.

I groaned.

My brothers, probably because they were my brothers, had this irritating ability to pick apart my lies like they were nothing. Sure, if they only expected one syllable answers it wouldn't be a problem. But they cared so they wanted to know everything – this time in particular, as it was them who had pushed me to 'put myself out there'. The next time I saw them there would be no dodging the topic.

And, really, since I never had been very interested in lying, I sucked at it.

So, lying to my brothers wasn't an option.

If I was being completely fair, then I wasn't having a horrible time. In fact, earlier in the evening I even had fun. I was a freshman in college, and it was the first big party of the year, so I had taken my brothers advice and indeed 'put myself out there'. It was the Alpha Theta Mu, the biggest fraternity at Central City University, who was hosting the party, so there weren't any pulled punches either. The dancing, the music, the drinking; it was all well and fun.

Then, apparently, I danced with the wrong guy. A guy who was taken by the leanest, most twig-like bitch at the party. She had stormed up, yelled in my face, and then tried to scratch my eyes out, all in the span of a few seconds. Objectively, I suppose it was quite impressive.

A normal person would've apologized and walked away. A sane person most certainly would. The thing is, I am the younger sister of two brothers almost a decade older than me, and I learned early on not to take a fight lying down.

I punched her.

It wasn't hard – really! At least it wasn't supposed to have been. Reevaluating, I must admit that while it wouldn't have been hard had she been one of my brothers, she wasn't. She was a bitch with a physique previously established to be frighteningly twig-like.

So, she had dropped like a sack of potatoes. With a bleeding nose. Probably broken.

And that is the story of how I managed to alienate a whole party before midnight. If I was lucky then that incident would stay between the three-hundred-odd people attending the party, and not spread like wildfire across campus. That was not asking for too much.

Was it?

I sighed harshly; I knew the answer to that.

Bringing the flask in my hand to my lips, I tilted it back and let the liquid run down my throat. I probably shouldn't drink much more if I didn't want a raging hangover tomorrow. Not being a typical party-goer, I didn't exactly have a high tolerance for alcohol. Mind you, I still drank from time to time – Mat and Leo were fine with me having a glass of wine or can of beer together with them, as long as it was only that – but I had never drunk so much that I couldn't control myself.

The tingling in my toes and fingers told me I was starting to get there. The thing was, the alcohol was the only thing that made the party bearable post twig-breaking incident.

That was when I saw him.

Now, it would've been very nice and romantic to say that the whole room seemed to fade away, that it was like he and I were the only people in the whole world, and all that fluffy crap. Really, sincerely, I'm romantic enough to want those things. In reality, though, I simply saw another person feeling out of sorts at the party, a kindred spirit, and a one last chance to make the party more bearable. And that was enough.

He was sat across the room alone on a couch, blowing into an empty beer bottle. If I really strained my ears, I could hear the hollow sound under the bass-heavy club music. He occasionally threw slightly disturbed looks over at the adjacent couch, where a couple was in the middle of what almost couldn't anymore be described as a simple make-out session. His cheeks were quite flushed, but whether if it was from the alcohol, embarrassment or arousal I couldn't tell.

Without meaning to, a hearty chuckle escaped from me.

Glancing quickly at my phone to tell the time, a quarter to eleven, I made a decision. Trying to shake off the event from earlier in the evening, I walked over to the bar and bought two beers, and then headed to the couches.

"Is this seat taken?" I asked.

He startled and looked up. And then… I almost had a Jane Austen moment. Either I was that drunk, or my eyes simply wasn't as good in the dimmed lighting of the fraternity house. This guy was… No one would ever make the mistake of calling this guy cute. This guy was sexy. Incredibly, dangerously, devastatingly sexy.

The first thing I noticed were his eyes, and probably what set off the rest of my hyper analysis of him. They were startling green with flecks of blue near the iris. His hair was brown, medium of length and styled in a messy fashion. His brows were more than just slightly bushy, and he had pronounced cheekbones; my eyes were drawn to the left one, where a mole was displayed. It wasn't alone – splattered lightly across his face and neck, several dark marks made themselves known. Before I could stop myself, I couldn't help but wonder if that trend continued below the neckline as well.

Yeah, I blushed at that thought. If anyone asked, though, I was going to blame it on the alcohol.

"Sorry?" he asked.

"Is this seat taken?" I repeated with a smile.

He blinked. "Yes." My face fell slightly, and he got a panicky look on his. "I mean no! It's not taken. Yes, you can take-." He cut himself off and took a deep breath. Smiling bashfully, he said, "You can sit."

I had to smother a grin. "Thank you." I sat down beside him and handed him one of the beers. "Here you go. It looked like you were finished with you other one." I motioned with my head towards the empty flask in his hands.

"Thanks," he chuckled and accepted the beer. "I'm Barry."

"Andy."

And then there was silence. We sat side by side observing the chaotic mess that was a college party, and decidedly did not talk. I was just about to give up on the party – and Barry – when a large moan interrupted my musings.

The couple on the other couch had taken it a step further, and one of the guy's hands were now down the girl's pants. I looked on in mortified curiosity.

I knew the second that Barry noticed as well; he had just taken a sip of his beer and was not violently trying to cough up his lungs. I tried to help by awkwardly hitting him on the back.

"Thanks," it came hoarsely from him.

I nodded and turned my attention back to the couple. "Oi." They didn't react. I took one of the cans from the table and threw it at them. "Oi!"

"What!?" it came from the guy.

I looked incredulously at him. "Mind taking that shit somewhere else?"

The guy looked like he was about to retort when the girl leaned forward and whispered something in his ear. Then she giggled. A smirk spread across his face and they quickly left the couch, heading for the stairs.

"Well, that wasn't awkward at all," Barry chuckled.

I laughed. "Yeah; some party, huh?"

Barry hummed. "I didn't even want to come." He took anther sip of his beer. "My sister made me. Well, not made me, but made it clear that she thought it would be good for me."

"Really?" I asked with a grin.

"Yeah." He glanced at me. "Why?"

I grin broadened. "Well, as it turns out, my brothers 'made me' come here. It wasn't their exact wording, but they wanted me to do something fun and not be so piss ass boring."

That made Barry smile.

"Well, here's to brothers and sisters who doesn't know what they're talking about," it came from Barry and he raised his beer.

"Hear, hear," I grinned broadly, clinking my flash against his.

Tilting the beer back against my lips, I took another sip. "So, where is this sister of yours?"

Barry sighed, and his jaws tensed. "She is somewhere in Metropolis, probably partying like she hopes I would." He glanced at me and explained. "Iris got accepted into Empire State University. It's been, like, her biggest dream to live on the east coast for a few years as long as I can remember." He forced a smile onto his lips. "it's all good. It's also just…"

"Hard?" I guessed.

His face fell slightly and he let out a sigh. "Yeah."

"Are you close?"

Barry chuckled. "We're best friends, actually. So, it's not easy being so far away from her. I'm happy, just… bummed also. If that makes sense." He let that statement hang in the air for a few moments before shaking his head. "But enough about that. Are your brothers here?"

I snorted loudly. "Yeah, no. If they were, there was no way I was going to attend." Barry raised an eyebrow, and I rolled my eyes. "Mat and Leo are some of the most overbearing, overprotective, pain-in-the-ass brothers you can have."

"You serious?" Barry laughed.

"Yeah, you laugh it up," I bumped my shoulders against his. Then I smiled. "Don't get me wrong, I love them, but… Mat is nine years older than me, and Leo is seven years older than me. Such age difference colors the relationship."

And just like that, the floodgates were open, and the conversation flowed freely between the two of us. I took off my horrible heels and pulled my feet up under me on the couch, facing Barry. We didn't talk of anything of importance, just… stuff. Events that had happened in the world. Barry talked a lot about scientific stuff and discoveries. There were times where I had a hard time of following him, but, as it turns out, Barry was brilliant at dumbing things down.

We talked for hours, got several beers more, and was most definitely past the 'just buzzed'-stage.

".. don't know what is. The interesting part is that the more we 'zoom out', the more ununiform the universe gets, with galaxies being formed in clusters around big holes of emptiness – but when you then zoom out completely, and observe the universe as a whole, it's almost completely uniform."

I blinked. "I only caught a gist of that, but it sounds very interesting."

Barry blushed. "Yeah, sorry. I know I get carried away at times."

"Don't apologize," I smiled. "I think it's great that you care so much about it. It's kind of hot."

Whatever Barry was about to say was drowned about by an uproar by the bar. A couple of jocks were standing on the table, two of them holding the legs of the third, as he was chugging what looked like a small barrel of something through a tube.

Barry leaned closer, his breath tickling my ear. "Do you want to go outside? Get away from…?" He motioned towards the commotion?"

"From twiddledee, twiddledum, and all their cousins? Yes, please," I chuckled.

That got a laugh out of Barry.

He got up first, and – after a second of hesitation – offered his hand to me. I had to smother a smile that was threatening to appear on my face, and I took his hand. It took some maneuvering and snaking through the crowds to get to the door that lead to the terrace, but we managed.

It was only August, but compared to the thick, hormone-filled air inside of the Alpha Theta Mu club-house, it could've just as well been in the middle of the winter. A gust of wind blew past us as Barry and I stepped outside, and I involuntarily gasped.

It was refreshing.

While a handful of people – all of them couples – were on the terrace, it was a big improvement to chaos that we had just left. I let go of Barry's hand and walked the length of the terrace, stopping at the railing overlooking the garden. Beer cans and flasks and the off piece of clothing littered the lawn, but there were no people.

Leaning on the railing, I closed my eyes, breathed in deeply, and rolled my neck to ease out some of the tension. I felt the railing rattle slightly as Barry leaned on it to my right. It made me smile.

"Sorry," I said to him and opened my eyes. We were some distance away from the house and its lighting, so his face was only lit up dimly. Still… he was incredibly handsome. "I just need a moment."

He gave me a half smile. "I understand. It's nice out here."

"I think the word you're looking for is quiet," I quipped, bumping his shoulder.

"Yeah, true," Barry chuckled.

Another gust of wind blew by us, and I shook as goosebumps broke out on my body. Like I said, objectively, it wasn't cold, and my flannel shirt wasn't exactly thin, but I had just spent the last several hours in a room that was at least a dozen degrees warmer.

"Are you cold?" Barry asked.

I shook my head. "It will pass."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Barry move. He hesitated for a second, and then he put an arm around me. I tensed up for just a fraction of a second, and he held his breath – then I allowed myself to lean into him. A sigh of relief escaped him.

"Thank you," I told him. I tried to lean further into him as yet another gust of wind blew by. "This is nice."

"Yeah. It is."

We didn't talk. The bass of the music along and the throng of voices from the inside were just audible, along with the cicadas that had come out for the night and the cars passing by on the main road some half a mile away. It was all very low, almost muted, and didn't break the illusion that was slowly being constructed around Barry and me.

I leaned into him closer, breathing in his scent. There was the sweat and alcohol, of course, but under it there was a scent that was distinctly his. I wouldn't be able to describe even if I tried. It would be like describing the taste of a foreign food; you might be able to give a general idea, and maybe even a comparison, but it really couldn't be described. It did something to me, however, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Feeling his eyes on me, I twisted in his arms and looked up at him. My breathing quickened as his eyes glanced down on my lips, and when he a moment later touched my cheek and leaned in, I didn't fight it.

His lips molded against mine, and his other hand came up, so that he was cradling my face. My heart was racing, and my brain was screaming at me, that I was having my first kiss. Through sheer force of will I forced the voice in my head to shut up, and I began enjoying his lips on mine. My arms flailed around a bit, as I wasn't sure what to do with them, but finally settled on his chest.

The kiss was very chaste compared to the rest of the party. Barry didn't get frisky or try to push things along; either this was his first kiss as well (though, from how amazing it was, I doubted it), or he simply just was that kind of incredible guy. Had he tried to push me, it would've quickly gone from amazing to awful. As it was, though, my chaste first kiss was something I knew I could cherish.

Ok, so while I might not have had my full-on Jane Austen moment, its safe to say that I at least had a glimpse of one.

When our lips finally separated again, I was more out of breath than I had ever been after any of my workouts. My palms were sweaty, and my knees were weak – and I felt on top of the world.

"Wow," I managed to breathe. Then I proceeded to mentally beat myself up, as I had just had my first kiss, and all I could come up with was 'wow'? Great going, Andy.

"Yeah," Barry grinned goofily. It made me laugh, and he shot me a look.

"Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. I just…" I sighed. "I just don't normally go around kissing guys out of the blue."

"Me neither," Barry assured me. I cocked an eyebrow, and his eyebrows rose almost an inch. "Girls. Not guys. I don't go around kissing girls." He paused. "Or guys for that matter – there is nothing wrong with kissing guys. I don't go around kissing, period. Me and kissing – not really that acquainted."

I laughed. "Barry, breathe."

And he did. He took a deep, settling breath. "Sorry. I babble when I get nervous."

"Well, Barry," I patted him on the chest. "I can assure you, you have nothing to be nervous about. That kiss was…"

"Nice?"

"Amazing," I finished. His eyes widened a fractioned before crinkling as the biggest smile broke out on his face.

"Well, Andy, can I-," Barry began, but was cut off by my cellphone ringing. It was his turn to cock an eyebrow, honest-to-God pig calls blared out over the previously quiet deck. I blushed bright red once again.

"Not one word," I told Barry sternly.

"I didn't say anything," Barry somehow managed to say, all the while he clearly was fighting for his life to not break out laughing.

I took a look on the screen, which displayed Mat's name.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this," I told Barry. "It's one of my brothers."

"Of course," Barry smiled.

"Hey, Mat," I greeted my brother over the phone.

"Duckie," Mat greeted me back. Barry was close enough to be able to hear the other end of the phone call and cocked an eyebrow at the nickname. I sent him a playful glare. "I'm sorry but I'm only leaving the hospital now – I was needed for one more consultation. I'll quickly stop by the pizzeria, so I should be at your place in forty minutes at most."

I frowned. "What?"

Silence met me on the other end of the phone call. "We had a deal, remember? You attended the party, and I would stop by after work with pizzas."

"God, fuck," I swore. "Sorry, I had forgotten all about that."

"No worries," my brother assured me. "Are we still on, then? We can always reschedule."

"No way," I snorted. "With the way your schedule works, that might only be in weeks. I'll see you in forty minutes."

"Great, see you then. Love you, Duckie."

"Love you." I hang up and looked up at Barry. "How much did you hear?"

"You're meeting up with your brother?" Barry asked as way of answering.

I gave him a soft smile. "I didn't exactly plan to stay here for so long. And Mat, well he's a surgeon, so his schedule is very difficult. It seemed straightforward to make plans for tonight." Then I shot him a sly look. "But, you see, I met this person at the party, which made it much more interesting."

"Really?" Barry grinned. It dimmed slightly. "Well, I had fun. It was nice meeting you, Duckie."

The smile on my face fell. "No."

"No?"

"No."

"Sorry."

I rolled my eyes and stood on my toes to ruffle his hair. He really was very tall. "Don't worry about it, handsome." That made him blush. "I guess I'll see you around?"

He shot me a bright grin. "I'm already looking forward to it."

~ SYaFM ~

Note to self; if you want to meet up with someone again, and not leave it to chance, then get their fucking phone number. Or their last name, or their address, or anything.

I only noticed that I had no way of contacting Barry once I had gotten home. I considered going back to the party, but I had a feeling he had left not long after I did; it was not conceded, just a fact that the both of us had felt out of place until we had begun chatting with each other. Also, if I had gone back to the party, I would've been late getting back to meet Mat, and then he would've had a whole lot of questions I really didn't want to answer.

I had beaten myself up over it all of Saturday – on which, yes, I had the worst hangover that I had ever had. Mat had also noticed my drunken state, but hadn't mentioned it, though that's neither here nor there. By evening I had felt empty and sad.

Maybe it was for the best.

I had had a great connection with Barry, I had had an amazing first kiss, and I had had a great time at a party. That alone was victories. And, who knows, while CCU was large it wasn't giant – I could bump into Barry again. But… with that said: I had never been that girl who was hung up on guys, and I certainly wouldn't start being that girl now.

So; small victories, and appreciation for even having met him.

I tried really hard to convince myself of that, though it felt hollow.

By Thursday I had more or less gotten into my old rhythm. More, because I was back to getting up at five to go on my morning run; less, because my breath still hitched, and I looked a second time every time I saw a tall guy with brown hair. For now, I think that was all I could ask for.

That was also probably the reason why I didn't see Barry as he entered CC Jitters. I was busy making a Caramel Praline Latte when I spotted the tuff of brown hair towering over the other customers – but I forced myself, for the first time, not to look twice. I finished the latte for the customer with a smile that was expected of me.

Then I made an espresso for a mother, who also wanted a muffin for her kid, and then a Flat White, a Cordusio, and a Gingerbread Latte for a group of high school girls. And then…

"Hello, what can I do for-," I started, but cut off when suddenly Barry stood in front of me.

"Hey, Andy," he greeted me with a shy smile. His cheeks were slightly rosy, and he didn't seem to want to meet my eyes.

"Barry," I breathed out. And I couldn't help it. A large smile broke out on my face; that seemed to put him at ease as well, as his smile broadened as well. I tried to get my face under control, though with very limited success. I shook my head, "Erm, you're… ehm… hmm… coffee?"

Smooth, Andy. Way to go.

Barry blinked. "Oh, sure, yeah." He glanced up at the menu behind the counter. "A… cappuccino, please?" It came out half as a question.

"A cappuccino coming right up," I winked at him.

It was a good thing that I had to turn around and make his cappuccino, because a moment later I could feel the heat coming off from my face. I was blushing like mad. What the hell; I winked at him.

Putting the cappuccino in front of him, I hesitated for a moment.

"If you're not too busy, I have a short break coming up in twenty minutes," I told him. My eyes fled down on the cappuccino, and I grimaced slightly. "Though I understand if you have somewhere to be. I mean, I wouldn't-."

"I'll wait," Barry cut me off. My eyes flew back up to meet his. He was blushing slightly as well, but steadfastly met my eyes with a small smile. "Should I just sit at one of the tables."

I blinked. If I hadn't established it yet, anything involving a guy showing even a hint of interest at me, was new territory for me. I mean, I was pretty sure he was interested – but there was still the possibility that I had completely misunderstood this whole situation. How, I couldn't say, but I was sure there was a way.

"Ehm… Yeah," I answered. I bit my lower lip lightly. "Please."

So, I wasn't that girl who got hung up on guys. We had established that already. But. With that said… I had a really hard time not blushing and being giddy and overall obnoxious, when the guy I had my first kiss with, less than a week ago, was sitting by a table less than a dozen feet away from me – waiting for me. There was also the awkward factor of this not being one of the rush hours, so there were half and whole minutes, where I had no customers, so I just had to stand behind the counter focusing on not just starring at him.

Yeah, those twenty minutes felt like hours.

Finally, though, I could take off my apron (I was so not going to get approached by an obnoxious customer wanting a speedier service) and slide into the booth across from Barry.

"Hi," I greeted him again. And, again, that damned blush spread across my cheeks. I decided to try and ignore it. "I, ehm… I wasn't sure I was going to see you again."

"Me neither." Barry smiled. It made my stomach flutter. He began to fidget a bit with his fingers. "I forgot to ask for your number at the party. And then… I wasn't sure if it was on purpose you didn't give it yourself, or if…" he trailed off.

"No," I quickly assured him. A bit forcefully. Yeah, that didn't help on my blush. I cleared my throat. "No, it wasn't on purpose. I only noticed once I got home." I looked down at the table, not able to keep eye contact as I continued with, "It was quite upsetting."

"It was?" Barry asked… hopefully?

"Of course," I assured him. I met his eyes again. God, his eyes were gorgeous. "I had a good time at the party. A really good time."

Now it was Barry's turn to blush. It was accompanied with a bright smile, though.

"Yeah, me to," he chuckled. He paused and then pointed out onto the street, "I was taking the bus, and I thought I spotted you while it was driving past. I got off down the street and had to check… and that sounded a lot less creepy and stalker-y in my head."

That got a laugh out of me. "Not at all. I'm happy." I hesitated, biting my lower lip lightly. "So… are you going to ask me?"

He blinked, looking confused. And then his eyes widened. "Oh. Yeah, of course." He cleared his throat, as those cheeks of his turned rosy once again. "Ehm… can I have your number?"

"Of course." I tried to smother a smile, but with Barry all but beaming at me, I wasn't very successful.

"Awesome," Barry almost exclaimed. He quickly got his phone out, handing it to me. I punched in my number and returned it. If it was possible, Barry's smile widened.

"I would love to, Barry," I answered. That was when my co-worker motioned to me from behind the counter and pointed at the clock on the wall. I winced and looked back at Barry. "Sorry, but my break is over."

"Yeah, of course." Both of us got up, Barry taking the cup. He hesitated and handed it to me, "Ehm, I don't really drink coffee. Do you think you could throw this out?"

I chuckled. "You don't drink coffee?"

"No, I don't," Barry admitted bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck. "But it was well worth three dollars to get a date with you." Then he frowned. "I mean, if you want to go on a date with me… Do you?"

I shot him an amused look. "I don't go around giving my number to just anyone, Barry." Actually, I don't go around giving my number to anyone. "I'd love to go on a date with you."

"Cool," he nodded and blushed again. "So, ehm… I'll call you soon?"

"Please do," I asked of him. "See you around?"

"Yeah, see you."

I watched as he walked out of the shop and turned down the street. The moment he was out of sight, I did a little jump-dance, getting quite a few looks from the customers. I didn't care and walked behind the counter again with a jump to my step, donned my apron, and took over from my co-worker.

My phone rang only a minute later, when I, most fortunetly, didn't have any customers to serve. Seeing the unknown number, I felt a flutter in my stomach again as I answered it.

"Hello?" I greeted.

"Sorry, I know you're working, but I couldn't wait," Barry's voice sounded from the other end of the call. Another billion-watt smile spread across my cheeks. "So, are you free tomorrow evening?"

~ SYaFM ~

"What about this?" I asked as I stepped in front of a mirror. I had already picked a pair of black leather-pants and was now trying to pick out a shirt. The shirt I was holding up now was in a light shade of green with a deeper green pattern on it. "I mean, I like it well enough. The color is good… but the pattern makes it seem a bit flowery."

There was silence.

"No, there is nothing wrong with something being flowery," I answered and rolled my eyes. "You know I'm not a flowery girl, though. This is normally something I would wear to a dinner party or to Día de Muertos. Not, you know, when I want to impress a guy."

Again, silence reigned in the room.

"Absolutely not. I'm not wearing a dress." I paused. "I don't even know if I own a dress." I scrunched up my face in the mirror. "In any case, it's not this one I'll be wearing tonight."

I threw the shirt into the growing pile of clothes on the floor, before turning to the dresser. As always, the moment I set eyes on the photograph of my mother, a wave of sadness hit me. That was never going to go away – I knew that – but over the years it got easier to handle.

"I don't know if you're actually here, but it helps to talk to you," I told the picture of my mom, as I've told her countless times before.

I smiled.

I loved that particular photo. It was before she got sick, and before Papà… Yeah, well, it was an old photo. Maman hadn't been prepared, having been sat in the couch with a cup of tea when Papà had snapped it. She had glanced toward him at the last second, and a bright smile had appeared on her face. Had the photo been set up, that true smile of hers wouldn't have been captured.

I grabbed the photograph and sat down on the bed, caressing the frame slightly.

"Am I stupid for even doing this?" I asked with a sigh. "I mean, I think I like him. I know we only talked for a few hours, but he's really interesting, and kind, and smart. And then that kiss." I smiled softly just remembering that night at the party. "But boys just haven't been into me. I'm too muscly, and too brash, and too headstrong, and-."

My eyes snapped down to the picture.

Then I rolled them.

"Why, thank you, I know I'm perfect just the way I am." My eyes softened, and I touched her face. "Really, I know I am. I don't want to change, and that's kind of what scares me. I haven't felt like this before; it's like my stomach ties up in knots, and I can't breathe. And sometimes I think I'm going to throw up. And still, I don't want to feel any different." I tilted my head, "What if we start dating, and I fall in love, and then he wants me to change? I'm afraid I'm going to want to change for him." I breathed out harshly and fell back into my bed. I held the picture up over me, so I could look Maman into her eyes. "What should I do?"

As expected, there really wasn't an answer. I sighed and held the photograph to my chest, hugging it tightly. And then I just lied there, starring up into the ceiling for several minutes.

"I'm going on the date," I finally stated, as if it had ever been an option not to go. I looked at the photograph again, blinking away the hints of tears and smiled. "And I'm going to have a great time."

In the end I picked a light grey t-shirt with 'Jane' printed on it in black followed by the silhouette of a doe, and a red leather jacket. It was just a bit much leather, but the texture of the pants and the jacket was different, so I hoped Barry wouldn't think I had gone all dominatrix on him. For shoes I picked some close-toed sandals with just the tiniest bit of heel; while I liked to wear heels to make up for my short stature, Barry had kept the plans for tonight a secret, so I wouldn't risk it if I had to walk a lot.

For hair and makeup, I had never been a complex person. This is not because I'm not girly, as I think you can be ungirly and still care about those things – I just never had. In the end I went with the safe option of a ponytail. As for the makeup… I decided to just make a bit of effort (not a lot!), and put on some eyeliner and a muted red lipstick.

I finished just in time, with Barry texting me that he was waiting in front of the building the moment I stepped out of the bathroom.

All the doubts and reasons not to go went away the moment I stepped out on the sidewalk and spotted Barry standing up against hi car, waiting for me. He looked very smart indeed, wearing dark jeans, a pair of nice converses, and a navy and red checkered shirt. Like at the party, his hair was styled messily. Currently, he was looking down at the phone in his hand, a worried frown upon his face. I winced as I realized that I hadn't responded to his text.

"Barry," I called as I hurriedly walked over to him. His head snapped up and a smile appeared on his face. "Sorry, I don't think I responded to your text."

"No worries," he assured me with a smile, his eyes crinkling slightly. God, just how sexy was this man allowed to be? His eyes ran up and down my body, and almost identical blushes spread on our faces. "You look beautiful."

That caught me off guard.

I knew I wasn't ugly, and I was perfectly happy with the way I looked. I took more after Papà than Maman, with golden brown, straight hair, hazel eyes, and an olive skin tone. I had always wanted to take a bit more after Maman, as her French made her fairer. That's not to say I wanted to be fair or white at all but growing up in an area where the majority was Hispanics, blue eyes and freckles were a bit exotic. But I digress… The point was that 'beautiful' wasn't an adjective that was often applied to me. It was… very nice.

"You don't look too bad yourself," I told him with a wink. His eyes crinkled again as his smile broadened. "So, what are we doing tonight?"

Barry smirked. "You'll see." He opened the door to the passenger side for me.

"Such a gentleman," I teased him as I entered the car.

"You know it," he grinned and hurried to the driver's side. Turning the ignition, the car gave a lurch as Barry tried to drive. He winced. "Sorry, it's not my car." After a slight pause, he got a panicked look on his face. "Not that I've stolen it. I've borrowed. Really. From my foster dad."

"Foster dad?" I couldn't help but ask in surprise. As I've said, we didn't get very personal at the party – well, if you ignore the kiss.

Barry grimaced slightly. He apparently hadn't intended to say as much. "Yeah… I'm, uh… I'm adopted. Since I was eleven." Silence filled the car as Barry focused on starting up the ignition without having the car lurch. There was clearly more to the story -as there are bound to be when it comes to adoptions – and I was curious, of course, especially with my own circumstances, but it wasn't my place to ask. Not yet, at least.

"So…" I began, deciding to change the subject, as Barry got the car on the road. "He was fine with you borrowing his car?"

"Oh yeah, he is great," Barry answered with a smile. "I don't really go on dates a lot. Or at all really. Or go to parties, as you know. That's more Iris department."

"Your sister, right?" I asked, even as I wondered if she then was a foster-sister or not. Not that it mattered.

"Right," Barry nodded. "Anyway, when Joe – my ehm… yeah – when he heard what I needed the car for, he couldn't hand the keys to me fast enough." He shot me a grin, "Really, I had to dodge them as he threw them after me."

I laughed. "Well, I'm glad he wasn't a problem. Though, if we need the car another time, I have one."

Then I winced. We had not even begun our first date, and I was walking about 'another time'.

"Another time, huh?" Barry asked, shooting me a half-smirk. I almost sighed in relief; I hadn't scared him. Still, I avoided his eyes.

"It's an old bucket, though. A Chevy Pickup truck from the sixties," I tried to quickly progress the conversation. "A family friend found it in a land field and fixed it up for me for my sixteenth birthday."

"Just like that?" Barry asked in surprise.

"I mean, it was the only gift I got that year, and my brothers helped paying a lot of it," I chuckled. "It's old and rusty and won't go over sixty miles an hour, but it has been a godsent."

"I haven't even thought about getting a car," Barry admitted. He shot me a look. "I'm not too fond of driving. I like well enough to be driven, but I just feel uncomfortable driving myself. I'm not bad or anything, just…"

"Uncomfortable?"

"Yeah," Barry chuckled. "I got my driver's license because Joe and Iris pushed me to do it, and it has served me well enough."

"Nothing wrong with that," I smiled at him. He returned it, not taking his eyes off the road.

We drove for about twenty minutes across the city, making small talk as we did. It was just as easy to talk as it had been at the party, but the change of atmosphere made topics we approached a bit different. A bit more personal. Whereas we at the party had talked a lot about what we thought of different events and subjects, now we talked about us. The chemistry that had been between us at the party had returned in force, and I could almost hear it sizzle and pop between us with every word we exchanged. When Barry parked the car, I was more than ready to get this date underway.

Exiting the car, I couldn't tell right away what we were supposed to do here. Barry joined me on the sidewalk after having made sure the car was locked, and hesitantly offered me his arm. I accepted it right away, giving it a small squeeze. Barry looked away to try and hide his blush. He cleared his throat, probably to try and get some control over his face again.

"We'll have to walk a bit also," he told me after a few seconds and started down the sidewalk. "There aren't many parking spots near there."

"You're being awfully vague about this place," I said with a quirked eyebrow.

He chuckled. "Trust me, you know where we're going when we get nearer."

And he was right. We had barely walked for three minutes when I heard something in the distance. People, to be specific. That wasn't surprising in a city as big as Central City, but this wasn't the typical din of people talking. There was laughter in the air, and an elated tone somehow carried through the indistinguishable voices. Soon the smell of food hit my nose and music became audible.

Finally, we turned the corner into Chinatown, where a street festival was in full swing. Barry turned towards me, "Here we are."

"Wow," it came from me as I took in the scene. Food stalls and entertainment was put up everywhere, the street being decorated in red, silver, and gold, and lanterns hung from lamppost and on strings across the street. The residents of the street were all dressed in traditional Chinese clothing. It was all very magical.

"I mean, um, we can always go someplace else," Barry told me, stammering slightly. He rubbed the back of his neck – I was starting to suspect that was his nervous habit, just like mine was rubbing my fingers. "There are bound to be a restaurant nearby with some space or the movies-."

"Barry, stop," I said gently, putting a finger on his mouth. A moment later I realized what I had done and retracted my hand as if it had been burned. I blushed deeply.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit nervous," Barry admitted.

"I'm that intimidating, am I?"

"Yes. I mean no! I mean-," Barry started to babble. He then took a deep, settling breath. "You're not intimidating. But, as I said, I haven't really been on a date in a long time. And you're very… I'd really like to get to know you, Andy."

"That caused me to smile softly. "I'd like to get to know you as well, Barry. Just take one step at a time. Breathe." I squeezed his hand. "This is also the first date I've gone on in a long time."

"Yeah, alright," he chuckles lightly. And then he asked, just to be sure, "So no restaurant or movies?"

"No," I shook my head, squeezing his arm again. "While dinner wouldn't have been an awful idea, going to the movies isn't really a good first date in my opinion. I'd like to get to know you, too, and that's a bit hard when you're sitting in a place where you can't talk." I looked around the street and all the happy faces. "This is… pretty amazing for a first date."

"Alright then," Barry said with a smile, some of the tension in his shoulders easing. Those crinkling eyes of his was going to be the death of me, I just knew it. "Let's get going then." He squeezed my arm affectionally and led me down the street.

Central City Chinatown had gone all out. I had read about the street fair in previous years, and I knew both Mat and Leo had gone with friends before, but I had never made time for it myself. It's not like I didn't have any classmates I chatted with and had a good time with in High School, I just didn't have any I hung out with after school as well. I had neither wanted to trail after my brothers, not had I wanted to go alone. As sad as that was, I also kind of liked that my first time here was with Barry.

We went around to the different booths and rides that were set up, and even – as if taken out of a romance movie – had our picture taken in a photo booth. I might've mocked Meg Ryan and Sandra Bullock in those romcom movies, but now, being on a first date myself… those cheesy things were nice. I hadn't stopped smiling since Barry had picked me up.

It was around eight that we decided it was time for dinner. Finding a food stand that sold Chinese ("Funny to find that here," Barry had quipped as I rolled my eyes), we soon after found a bench that was free by a fountain. The sky was now in a deep purple, and the lanterns cast a warm glow over everything.

"Have you thought of what you want to study yet?" Barry asked as we sat with the takeout boxes between us.

"Hmm," I nodded, swallowing the bite I had just taken. I raised a finger at him, "Though you will have to promise not to tell anyone."

Barry quirked an eyebrow but nonetheless nodded. "I promise."

"I'm aiming to get a Bachelor of Science in Emergency Medical Services," I answered. "CCU is one of only a handful of universities in the country that offers the course."

"That's… wow," Barry blinked. He tilted his head, "You planning on studying medicine?"

I shook my head and corrected him, "Firefighter."

Barry frowned. "Do you need a university degree for that?"

"No, though if you plan on making a carrier of it, many do take some sort of corresponding education on the side." I grabbed another fried shrimp, popping it into my mouth. "My brothers are not very… encouraging of my plans of becoming a firefighter. My father was a firefighter, and he died when he was out on call."

"Sorry," Barry frowned.

I made a small grimace and gave a half shrug. "It… is what it is. Anyway, I've wanted to be a firefighter since I was able to verbalize it. My brothers just don't see that. I wanted to enroll directly into the Fire Academy when I graduated this summer, and, predictably, Mat and Leo fought tooth and nail against it. We came to an agreement; that I would get a college degree, and if I still wanted to be a firefighter after that, they would support me."

Barry smirked. "Since you just swore me to secrecy, I take it your brothers are clueless to your plan of getting a college degree as a way of helping your carrier as a firefighter."

"You got it," I winked at him. My smile softened, "I mean, I get where they're coming from. It was scary when Papà died, and they don't want to feel that again. But Papà had this phrase he would always say; When you help someone, you help everyone."

Barry nodded slowly with a pensive look on his face. "It has a nice ring to it."

"Yeah, it has," I nodded in agreement. "It has kind of become my whole family's mantra. Mat is a surgeon now and Leo is a police officer. We've all chosen something where we can help people."

Barry looked at me in a way I couldn't quite identify and gave me a soft smile. "That is really amazing, Andy."

I blushed and broke eye contact wit him, focusing on the food.

"But what about you?" I asked him, trying to take some of the attention off me. I looked up at him again once I had fought the blush down. "Anything in particular you're studying?"

"I'm not completely decided," Barry admitted. He looked at one of the takeout boxes, where only three shrimps were left, "You want any more of these?"

"They're all yours," I smiled.

"Thanks," Barry grinned, bringing the box closer to him. "Anyway, I have thought of aiming to get a Bachelor of Science in Criminology and Criminal Justice. I want to become a CSI after I graduate, and obviously that degree is a natural stepping stone in that direction."

"But…?" I pressed

Barry shrugged with a half-smile. "But I also really love physics and chemistry and science in general. I would love to learn more about that."

"Have you looked into it?" I asked. "I mean, if you can somehow take the right courses while studying that, and still fulfill the requirements of becoming a CSI?"

"Not yet. We'll see," Barry shrugged again. "It's not like it would be the end of the world if it's not possible. But, as I said, I just love science."

"I gathered as much from our conversations at the party," I teased.

That was the clue for Barry's blush to make a return.

We finished eating and kept walking around. The fair itself might only be located on the main shopping street of Chinatown, but the atmosphere spilled around to the surrounding area; cafes and shops kept open far past their ordinary closing hours, and with the music spilling out from the different clubs. This was especially true as the time passed midnight and the families left and many young people from across the city joined the party.

I only vaguely registered this; I only had eyes for Barry. We had taken to play twenty questions, although we were probably far past question twenty by now. As we turned down the main street again, It was Barry's turn to ask.

"What… was your most embarrassing moment in high school?" he settled.

I let out a mix between a groan and a chuckle. "You just had to go there, didn't you?"

Barry grinned at me. "Rules are rules."

"Yeah, yeah," I rolled my eyes goodheartedly. "Honestly, compared to some of the stories I've heard, mine isn't too bad. A bit sweet, actually." I smiled fondly at the memory that came to mind. "You see, I could get pretty bored in classes at times. I just wasn't very… challenged. So, sometimes, I would turn into a bit of a chatterbox. And it so happened that in one of my science classes I was bored, and my friend beside me was poking me and talking at me, and of course the teacher told me to be quiet. And that happened probably another… two or three times. And then, quiet surprisingly, he then suddenly came storming up to me, and with a closed fist, hit me on the top of my head."

"What?" Barry exclaimed.

"It wasn't hard," I quickly assured Barry with a laugh. "A light bump. It didn't hurt, but it was just the shock and the embarrassment of it. And I think everyone in the room was quite shocked, and perhaps himself a little bit as well."

"I'd imagine," Barry chuckled.

"Here comes the sweet part, though," I smiled broadly. "The next time we had advanced science, he walked into a room full of students wearing crash helmets."

Barry broke out laughing. It was then that I decided that I loved his laughter, and I wanted to make him laugh as much as possible. He didn't hold back; he leant back, his whole body was shaking as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. I liked his chuckles and snorts, but I loved his laugh.

"It also helped me quite a bit," I admitted to him. "I didn't have a lot of friends in high school. I had classmates, and good relations with them, but not anyone that I would hang out with after school hours. I didn't quite… fit in. I mean, I was a top student, but I wasn't an over-achiever or one of the geeks, and I was quite physically active – you know, to prepare for being a firefighter – but I wasn't part of any sports team, and I don't really have interest in sports in general… But this support from my class, even if it was part of a practical joke, it just helped me feeling more at ease."

"I can see that," Barry smiled and squeezed my hand.

"Okay, my turn," I changed the subject. I bit my lower lip, "Hmm… Oh, I know; In what setting are you the happiest?"

"Happiest?"

"Or most eager or most comfortable," I clarified. "Any way you want to take the question."

"Hmm, alright," Barry mused and a small frown appeared between his brows. "Ok, this is a bit embarrassing admitting on the first date, but I would have to say watching musicals on rainy nights."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

Barry smiled bashfully. "Yeah. My mom and I used to do it together. She was a bit fan of musicals, especially those starring Fred Astaire and Frank Sinatra." Barry got a somber and bittersweet look on his face as he continued, "I was deadly afraid of thunderstorms when I was small, and for a time, nervous even when it only rained hard. Mom helped me get over that by watching musicals with me on those nights."

"That's really sweet," I smiled and looked up at him. "I never was a big fan of musicals. But it sounds like you've watched quite a few. Maybe you could introduce me to a few good ones sometime?"

The sadness in his eyes disappeared as he met mine again. He smiled softly at me. "I'd like that."

We stayed in Chinatown until even the young people began to disappear from the streets and the horizon was beginning to lighten up. Despite the fact that we had literally spent the night out together, neither Barry nor I was ready for our date to end quite yet, though. As it was, Barry wasn't without ideas to extent our dates just a bit more, and so we went back to the car and took off.

"Barry, you do know that you're driving out of the city, yes?" I asked.

"Yep," he grinned at me. I rolled my eyes at him.

"You've got another secret plan?"

"Well, the first one turned out great," he smiled, not taking his eyes off the road. Still, he grasped one of my hands and didn't let go.

I squeezed his hand, loving how it felt in mine. "I can't argue with that."

We didn't drive far out of the city, and I couldn't help but smile when I saw our destination. It was a car lookout spot on top of a hill with a view over Central City and then the Pacific. Surprisingly, there was another car parked, with a couple lying on the hood, deep in what looked to be a make-out session. I blushed and wondered what exactly Barry had in mind, even as my own mind returned to the kiss we had shared at the party. Barry made sure to park as far away from the other couple and their car as possible.

I exited and looked out over Central City. It was only in the east that the sky was starting to lighten up, so the in the view to west, most of the stars were still visible.

"Here you go," Barry's voice sounded behind me. I turned and saw a can of beer handed to me.

"Aw, how sweet," I teased and accepted it. Barry chuckled and leant against the hood of the car. I joined him soon enough, close enough to Barry that our arms touched. "Thank you for taking me here."

"I hesitated a bit. We've only just met, and here I was driving you out of the city. That could be interpreted in a lot of ways," Barry admitted. "I'm glad you gave me a chance, though I wouldn't have blamed you if you had said no."

I chuckled. "The thought did cross my mind. But… It might be too soon to say I trust you, though you definitely have an air around you that is trustworthy."

Barry smiled at that.

"Have you lived here your whole life?" I asked of him. "In Central City, I mean?"

"Yup," Barry nodded. "I grew up down in Brookhaven. I still live there." Then Barry made I face, "I mean, I guess I now live in downtown."

"I get it."

"How about you?"

"Well, I lived in Druid Hills until I was eight, and then we moved closer to downtown in Schiller Park." I looked up a Barry and bumped my shoulder with his, "Though, I guess I also live in downtown now."

Barry laughed and looked down at me. I put my beer on the hood of his car and leaned further into him. He put his beer down as well.

"I had fun tonight, Barry. Thank you," I told him.

His eyes crinkled again as he smiled. "I feel like its me who should thank you. And to think I almost messed it up by saying the seat was taken at the party."

I chuckled.

Slowly, almost tenderly, Barry raised a hand and brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear. He was looking at me with soft eyes. My eyes flickered down to his lips. His tongue darted out wetting them, causing all sorts of thoughts to rush through my mind. Looking back into his eyes, I noticed they had darkened several shades. My heart was pounding away, and I was sure he must've heard. And then, before my courage left me, I leaned forward and planted my lips on his.

It didn't take him but a moment to respond, and I closed my eyes and melted as my whole body was consumed in that kiss. Chills ran over my skin and fire burnt inside, all the while my heart was pounding far faster than I had ever thought possible. He shifted, and his body pressed further into mine. He didn't get frisky, instead letting his hands run up my arms to settle at my jaws. I wrapped my arms around his back, my hands ending up in his hair. His lips were warmer and softer than anything I could have imagined, yet fierce and powerful at the same time. Mine responded hungrily, and when he opened his mouth slightly and a tongue tentatively ran across my lower lip, I opened my mouth in return and invited him in.

The kiss started off gentle, but neither of us could keep it that way for long. It might have been out second kiss, but it was our first real one. I realized quickly that the first time at the party we had both been holding back. Barry deepened the kiss, his arms wrapping around me tighter before lowering me onto the hood of the car.

That was when one of the cans got knocked over and I gasped as I felt liquid run down my back.

"Fuck," I gasped. And honestly, it was probably as much a reaction to the kiss as it was to the beer.

"Shit, sorry," Barry panicked and helped me up.

I started laughing. Hard. "I'm not." Then I tugged at my shirt, "Though I could do without the beer on my back. One moment." I quickly grabbed the red leather jacket from the car, and grabbed the hem of my shirt when I saw Barry starring at me with hungry eyes. I smirked at him, "Easy there, tiger. I'm not quite ready to give you a striptease yet."

Barry blushed bright red and spun around. "Sorry. I didn't mean."

"It's alright wanting to look," I chuckled. I quickly got out of my shirt and donned the jacket. "There, already decent." I walked up to him again, "I will admit to also wanting to look."

Barry blinked, then chuckled. "You're amazing Andy Herrera."

"And you're wonderful, Barry Allen."

~ SYaFM ~

Author's Notes: This was originally intended to be part of a larger story, but I honestly don't know if I'll get around to that. So! Now I'm uploading it as a one-shot, with the possibility of continuing the planned story as a series of one-shots.

As should be obvious, I have more than just a small crush on Barry Allen and have wanted to write a story in the Arrowverse universe starring him for a while. I've never been sure how or when the story should take place, but as I've felt the need to write a simple romance story for a while, it felt like it was time.

For now, I have nineteen one-shots planned for this series. I have tried to space them out, so there aren't huge time-jumps in-between; with that said, in the first half of the story, where the relationship between Barry and Andy is developing most, the time-jumps will be significantly short, being weeks instead of months. For now there isn't a plan to have this series progress into canon, but who knows.

If it wasn't clear, I'm taking heavy inspiration from Station 19, where the main character is Andy Herrera. Other characters from that show will be included eventually as well in the series. However, it is merely inspiration I've taken from there, so the characters are not completely the way they are in that show.

Also, full disclosure, I have never written a non-Caucasian character. At least not one who was the main character, where you well and truly get into their head. Andy is Hispanic, so if you ever feel that I'm generalizing or portraying her wrong, please do tell. I want to be a better writer, and a big part of that is receiving criticisms.

For the location of Central City, I've chosen California. In my research I stumbled upon that in the DC comics Central City is located in Missouri, but by then I had already planned for California. It fits with being around 600 miles from Star(ling) City. Also, in this universe, Supergirl, Superman, and Batman are all on Earth 1, and I also have National City in California, so it makes things easier if there ever is written a sequel. The arrowverse would kind of be on the west coast, with Superman and Batman being on the east coast.

I've rated this as mature, as there will definitely be a few scenes that are steamy. Depending on whether or not there are requests for it, and whether or not I feel like I pull it off, the rating might be bumped to explicit. Or maybe I'll just write the explicit scenes and upload them separately. Who knows?

Lastly, before I forget it; the 'first kiss'-scene is inspired partially by Richelle Mead's "The Golden Lily", and Veronica Rossi "Under the Never Sky."

Synthesis