CongletiMazaloff
"And now, it is my pleasure to announce this years Head Boy and Head Girl," Dumbledore spoke calmly above the slowly increasing chatter. "I believe all of you are already aware of who our Head Girl is, so I shall call upon her first. This years Head Girl is...Hermione Granger!"
Hermione stood, while receiving much applause and many congratulations. She tried to look stunned when her name was announced, but received an 'are you kidding me, everyone already knew including yourself' kind of look from nearly everyone at the Gryffindor table. She walked up to Professor Dumbledore, shook his hand, and stood beside him eagerly to hear who would be announced Head Boy.
"And know, onto our Head Boy. As you know, the point of having the Heads is to try and better demonstrate House unity..." Hermione's face dropped. That could only mean one thing. Slytherin.
"...and they are to become the representatives of this for the school. Therefore, you all now know what house our Head Boy is in. Without further ado, this years Head Boy is none other than Draco Malfoy!"
It was all Hermione could do to keep herself from slapping her forehead, stomping her feet, and throwing a fit all together, or perhaps having a nervous breakdown. Draco sauntered up to Dumbledore as if it was just announced that he was betrothed to a princess. He shook Dumbledore's hand, and stood next to Hermione, giving her his infamous smirk.
"I'm willing to make you a deal Granger. Resign your Head Girl status, and I won't call you a mudblood again. Keep it, and I'll make your life a living hell," he whispered in her ear.
"Malfoy, please try to refrain from getting close enough to me where I can smell your stench, and I believe that you're the one who'll resign before I do. Thanks anyway though," Hermione said as she turned to hear what Dumbledore had to say.
"Thank you all for listening to the ramblings of an old man. Now, will the Prefects please escort the first years to their houses, and I shall see you all in the morning. Good night." He then turned to see Hermione beaming up at him and Draco sniffing every part of his robes. "Draco, what on earth are you doing?" he questioned peeking over his half moon glasses.
"Nothing Professor. Nothing at all," he responded.
"Alright then, you know that you will be sharing a dormitory. The Heads dormitory is on the fourth floor. You will find the portrait of a Phoenix and a Unicorn, and from there you will say whatever you want your password to be. You will be let in, and that will be your password for the rest of term. You will have separate rooms, of course, but they will be joined by a single bathroom. Does that suit you, Mr. Malfoy?"
"Yes, Professor," Malfoy said, distaste dripping from his voice.
"As well as you, Miss Granger?"
"I'm just curious as to why there's only one bathroom. I mean, if we have our own rooms why couldn't we have our own bathrooms as well?" she asked, clearly unhappy.
"Alas, there wasn't enough room. We tried doing it that way and we were told that everything else was too crowded, so we untied the bathrooms." Hermione nodded in reluctant acceptance.
"Unfortunately, there is already work for the two of you to do, so you should get up there as soon as possible. Oh, and Mr. Malfoy? Stop searching for a smell, would you please? It would save you the trouble of many others thinking you've gone insane," Dumbledore finished with a twinkle in his eye. Hermione stifled a laugh.
Hermione walked slightly ahead of Draco as they made their way to the dormitory.
"Fire," Hermione said to the portrait. She distinctly heard Malfoy say ice. They walked into a room that put the Gryffindor common room to shame. It still had the fire surrounded by couches and armchairs, but to a much larger proportion. It also had a small library in one corner, and a large desk with a small stack of papers on it in another. Hermione walked over to the desk and began memorizing the passwords to the other common rooms. She then crumpled it up and threw it at Malfoy's head.
"You know, if you really wanted my attention you could have just said that you were resigning."
"And had I wanted your attention, I would have shot myself for wanting it at all."
"Little harsh, don't you think? I mean, killing yourself over me makes you no more needy than the next girl."
"You're absolutely right, so why don't you go fill their presence with your overly large ego?"
"Because being around someone as low as a mudblood merely boosts it, so why would I leave when I can allow it to grow even more?"
"Because if you don't shut up, I'll have to chop it off."
"Aww, does Granger want to get in my pants too?"
"Don't make me gag."
"He has a tendency to do that too people."
"He?"
"Yes, he."
"Who's he?"
"My ego that you threatened to chop off."
"I shudder at the thought that any self-respecting woman could want anything to do with you."
"I can't help it that they throw themselves at my feet."
"That and the thought of your face are equally revolting."
"What can I say? I'm the equivalent of a God, and it scares you."
"Maybe one with no brains and an ego that could feed the world."
"Ouch, why must you always bring up how extraordinarily large my ego is?"
"Because it's the biggest thing on you and the sad thing is it's not even two inches."
"Try adding a six to that and you might be close. I haven't checked in a couple years."
"I'd rather subtract.."
"Ah, but then we'd be nearing how very wide you are. Like they always say, a hot dog down a corridor."
"How dare you insult my virginity!"
"I'm sorry, have I struck a nerve?"
"Possibly, but I'll be striking several," Hermione pulled out her wand and was about to cast Petrificus Totalus, when Draco sent a spell at her. The two of them sent cast after cast whizzing by each other until they both said one at the same time.
Congleti Mazaloff!!!
The spell to knock your opponent unconscious.
The last thing they saw was the floor.