"You will work here, starting from this day."
I was thrown away. Those words from the woman who gave birth to me, the woman whom I called mother, was more than enough to understand that.
She was barely grasping my hand, as if I was infectious. When she began to shake herself free of me, I let her go. I never felt any real attachment to that woman. I remember, for as long as I could, milk mothers and maids caring for me, reading me stories and tucking me in at night. I even grew to call one of them, one that I was particularly close to, 'Mom'.
This woman, about to leave, was mother.
Now see, there is a difference between the 'Mom' that cared for me and the 'mother' that stood before me now, desperate to be rid of me. The 'Mom' I held affection for was the one I loved, the one who raised me. The mother who stood before was nothing but a placeholder, the one who put her hands on my shoulders when guests came, introduced me to them.
I did not say anything. I didn't feel like saying anything.
"Farewell."
I did not cry. I did not bawl. I did not react how any normal child would act, watching this woman begin to turn, leaving me at the side of a tall, purple-haired knight.
"You undesirable child."
It was only until she had turned her back, hair a natural, silver color, glinting in the evening sun, that I bowed my head and sniffled.
That woman was nothing to me. I knew she was nothing to me. But the maids and milk mothers at home, the servants who became my family… I cried for them.
Even to this day, I wonder if I had only cried and screamed for her like a normal child, her hand would have stayed…
And taken me back to my true family.
o.0.o.0.o
I am useless.
That is what everyone says about me. I cannot clean correctly, or properly prepare meals… Every duty, I floundered. Every time we practiced our fights with daggers, I missed the target. When we were told to heal minor cuts and wounds, I found myself passing out from using only a little magic.
I was the laughing stock, even worse so when other butlers and maids in training brought up who I formerly was.
"Not so high and mighty when you're the worst of the servants, are you?"
"Useless child… no one will want to even marry you at this point!"
And even worse so when the other children got to go home. One week a month, all the children got to spend a week at home, to catch up with their families.
I got no such luxury.
I tried once, a little bit of my childish innocence still intact. I stood, waiting outside the gate for hours in the blistering wind, the freezing snow threatening to fall. When my mother finally did come, she was holding the hand of a little girl, dressed in frills and bows and such.
The small girl noticed me first.
"Mama, who's that boy?"
My mother lifted her head, staring at me, squinting, then scoffed.
"Nothing to concern yourself with, Jacqueline."
I had been replaced in every aspect, I realized. My mother had a new daughter, even named her the female variant of my name.
One would think that having a son would be a top priority for the family, someone to carry on the family name. I wondered why they had given me up in favor of a daughter.
I had always thought I was a stellar son, perhaps even desperate for mother's attention...
I later found out that my mother never wanted a son, she wanted a daughter. A daughter to dress up like a doll. A daughter she could marry into a family more prominent than ours. A daughter she could bend and control and manipulate to her own selfish needs.
She could have no such things with a son, and what with my father being sick and overworked to save our family from certain doom, he hardly seemed to notice.
Or perhaps he didn't care to notice.
Well, if she wanted a daughter, good for the despicable woman.
A daughter she now had.
o.0.o.0.o
A year passed. A year of failure after failure.
And that was when I first saw her.
She was unusual to say the least, with long, wavy black hair that looked to be in desperate need of a combing and a foreign garment. Her ears were pointed like that of an elf, and her eyes, a piercing red.
She fearfully clung to Gunter, a knight who had helped me refine his skills, slightly, with the dagger, tears mixed with the blood of a cut that began over her right eye and continued under it.
I myself was cleaning, but did not stop, simply stared, trying to make sense of the garment she was wearing. It was rather pretty in an exotic way, a dark violet with swirling dragons across it in light purple, a large, belt like object of white and red around her waist.
Hoshidan.
There was no question in my mind, this girl was Hoshidan. That outfit was obviously not from Nohr, and no one from Nohr had hair black as night like that.
"Care for her until I return to fetch her." Gunter said sternly to the head maid behind me, tasked to watch over me. A 'supervised visit', they called it. More like a reason to point out what I was doing wrong. The head maid agreed, taking the girl into the room and shutting the door.
And then he left. I stared at the girl. She stared back, one eye open, the other forced closed for dried, crusted blood forced it closed.
Then the maid turned her gaze away from mine, leaving me to my cleaning. The maid was holding the girls face in her hands, checking over her every feature.
"Go fetch me some water to clean this." the maid said. I cast her a long glance, but said nothing. "Move it, boy! This might be a good chance to practice your healing."
I scowled at that, suddenly seeing the girl as another job I would most likely fail, but regardless, I stood, crossed the room to grab a bucket to wash the wound over her eye.
She opened her mouth, as if to say something, but I passed her by, not willing to listen.
I did not fail to notice the guards now standing outside the door.
o.0.o.0.o
My ear throbbed slightly from the clout I had received in failing to properly heal the girl. The maid could probably care less about the Hoshidan girl, but after nearly rendering my left ear deaf, she gave me a brush and told me to comb out the snarls.
Then she left. To do what, I didn't know.
"Does it still hurt?"
The voice was quiet, barely hearable as I stood behind her. I chose to ignore her, hoping that she would simply not talk again. When I didn't answer, she asked another question.
"What's your name?"
I yanked on her hair with the brush, hoping that would shut her up.
"Ow!" she exclaimed, turning slightly to shoot me a rather irritated look. I scowled at her.
A silence outside of me running the brush through her thick mane. Then she spoke again.
"What's your name?" she asked, a little louder. "I'm Kimiko."
"That's a weird name." I responded haughtily, deciding I would whip her with words to make her fall silent. She suddenly whipped around, cheeks puffed out, stubbornly glaring at me.
"Is not! Not as weird as yours!"
"You don't know my name."
"Doesn't matter." she shot back, crossing her arms, thinking she's won. I refused to look at her face.
Some of the other healers could heal so the wounds wouldn't leave a scar, and while I managed to get to a point where I didn't pass out from using magic… The scars were still prominent, and thus the beating I received from the supervising maid. This girl was now another reminder of another failure, what with the scar that nearly ran through her right, bright crimson eye. Whatever had happened to her and however she got that scar, it was a miracle she didn't loose the ability to see out of it.
o.0.o.0.o
A dead silence. She stared at her reflection in the small hand mirror I was provided for her. Her hair was brushed and combed, neatly pulled back with a blue-colored bow. The maid, I found out, had left to get an outfit fitting for the girl. It was a dress colored similarly to the bow, navy with a white collar, a red brooch centered over a small bow in the center. I found it odd this was the desired outfit she was to wear, for these garments were reserved for nobles, yet the red on the brooch was prominent. No one in Nohr wore red, for red was the color of the royal family of Hoshido. It was similarly to how no one in Hoshido wore dark violet, the royal color of Nohr.
Her hand reached up for her eye, the scar.
"I'm sorry!" I blurted, though not sure why. I shouldn't care less about this girl, this foreign girl who doesn't even know my name. She didn't say anything, looking back at me.
"I want to be your friend." she continued. "This is Nohr, isn't it?"
"...It is." I confirmed, voice quiet in silent pity for her. Nohr was not a bright place like Hoshido. This must be terrifying for her.
"I just want… one friend… one friend… in this scary place…" a shuddery sigh. "Please tell me your name… Please…"
Somewhere, somehow, my heart relented, and I opened my mouth to speak.
"I'm Jak-"
Suddenly, the door slammed open, revealing two soldiers and the king's head advisor, Iago. The girl squeaked, hiding behind me, shaking.
"You." Iago pointed to me. "Leave. We have business with the girl."
I faltered for only a moment, Kimiko clutching my vest for dear life.
"Gunter told me to wait for him…" I said, trailing off.
"Change of plans." Iago said simply, like that explained everything.
Again, I faltered. I knew that not following orders was death, even for a child such as myself…
So like my mother had so many years before, I shook himself free of her, letting her go and stiffly walking out of the room.
"Jake!"
I blinked, turning back when realizing she was talking to me. The guards were holding her, but she didn't seem terrified, calling my name for help, but rather calling my name for my attention.
"Thank you for the scar. I know it will hold scary memories, but it will also hold my first happy memory of the boy who showed me kindness. So thank you!"
And suddenly, in a spur of the moment action, I ran for the door, with some strange, childish delusion, perhaps, to rescue her from the clutches of those men inside. I pounded on the door for only a moment, but gave up, backing away when I heard the screams of the girl I just met on the inside.
Horrified and terrified, I backed away until I hit the wall, sliding down and covering my ears, shaking, waiting for it to stop.
o.0.o.0.o
Eventually it did.
Iago walked out, a satisfied smirk on his face as he walked by me, one of the guards carrying the girl. I didn't stand, didn't move, simply stared at her, trying to figure out if she was dead.
The guards walked by, and I craned my head, trying to keep my sights on her. Iago blocked my view.
"Not following orders means death, even for someone like you." Iago said, lip curling in a smirk. "The king will discern your punishment."
Then he turned, walking away from me. I stood.
"You are a coward, attacking a scared girl!" I shouted after him. I was cold and rude by nature to those around me, but never once had I actually initiated a fight. I always used my wit when someone else attacked first, but this was the first time I ever spoke back.
Iago paused, then turned, clearly displeased with my lack of respect.
The stinging pain in my cheek registered. I knew physical pain was going to be the response.
"I will make sure the King hears of this… this insult!"
Then he stalked away.
I had no regrets for saying what I did and I did not fear the punishment that would come.
o.0.o.0.o
I wonder why I was being sent to the Northern Fortress.
I was summoned to the Northern Fortress where two other maids and the knight, Gunter, lived. The maids, twins, were Felicia and Flora, the former an expert fighter but horrid cleaner, the latter a expert cleaner by lackluster fighter. Gunter was sent there shortly after Kimiko was brought here.
I suppose I fell somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of these twins.
I was surprised of not being summoned the next day, or the day after. I was sure I was going to loose my head for my disrespect towards Iago and my lingering around Kimiko's room when Iago entered, but nothing ever came of it. It was as if it never happened.
Thank you for the scar. I know it will hold scary memories, but it will also hold my first happy memory of the boy who tried to heal me. So thank you!
Kimiko…
Her words haunted me. What became of her? The thought occasionally crossed my mind, and all I came up with was that she was dead. Iago had killed her.
But that was almost three years ago, when I was six. I had to learn to let go of silly memories of that Hoshidan girl.
Kimiko…
We arrived at the Norther Fortress, and Gunter was there to greet me.
"Jakob. It certainly has been some time, hasn't it?" he greeted.
"Time well spent being free of you, old man. I'm surprised you remembered my name. Old age takes the memory first, you know."
"Good to note that you haven't changed." Gunter sighed, leading me inside. "This fortress houses one of the royal siblings, so you are to treat her with utmost respect."
I curled my nose slightly at the thought of having to serve one of the bratty Nohrian nobles. I remember growing up baring witness to Garon's concubines and their incessant jealousy, killing off one another's children, even when Garon had remarried.
All that was left of the bastard children were Lady Camilla, Lord Leo, and Lady Elise, but they were all under careful watch of Lord Xander, the eldest son and heir to the throne. So who…?
"Ah, Lady Esmerée!" Gunter called as a young girl ran past. The girl blinked, coming back and cocking her head. She was wearing a navy dress, a bright red brooch pinned in the middle, but no dark purple, indicating she either wasn't a member of the royal family or she simply has not been deemed the right to wear it.
I felt my breath catch in my throat, a small gasp escaping my lips.
Long, wavy black hair, messy and unmanaged.
Elfin ears.
Pale skin with bright crimson eyes.
A scar cutting through right one.
"Gunter!" she grinned, the voice still the same, the smile, almost radiant despite this dark place. "Where did you go? Did big brother Xander come today?"
"No, but your father ordered another servant here." Gunter said, pushing my dumbstruck self forward slightly. "This is Jakob."
"Jakob…" she mused. "Hello! I'm Esmerée!"
There was no doubt in my mind it was her. The little Hoshidan girl from so long ago…
Kimiko…
o.0.o.0.o
Like apparently how I was the first to show her kindness, she was the first to reach out for me. I assumed whatever Iago did, erased her memories of me, of her former life in Hoshido.
But still...
"Hey Jakob…" she said, smiling slightly with her eyes closed as I ran the brush through her hair. "Have some things ever just seemed familiar, but you can't place how?"
I smiled slightly, bowing my head and closing my eyes. I knew what she was talking about.
"I'm not sure what you mean, milady." I chose to respond.
"Don't mind me, Jakob!" she laughed. "I'm being weird again, sorry!"
"No need to apologize, Lady Esmerée." I said, shaking my head.
o.0.o.0.o
Upon the branch of fate in which she had to choose between Hoshido and Nohr, I was caught in the back of the Nohr army, fighting my way to her.
I knew she would have to choose. Choose between the life she lost and the life she's grown to adore.
But whether she chose to become Kimiko or continue to be Esmerée…
I would follow her regardless.
Because unlike how my mother let go of my hand, and how I myself abandoned her that one time, back when they were children…
I would not make the same mistake a third time.
I would not loose hold of her hand this time.
o.0.o.0.o
So, yeah. Don't ask me what spurred me to write this, but I'm obsessed with Jakob and Corrin.
Corrin's Hoshido name is Kimiko, meaning senior, noble, and empress.
Corrin's Nohr name is Esmerée, meaning to like, love, and respect.
Her Revelation name is a combination of the two, Kirée.
Amy47101 signing off.