Star Pirates on Vacation
Offstage Chapter 1
Tsunade's Tour is Ruined by Sannin

The forest was calm except for the trudging through vines and bushes. The lone traveler exited from the woods and faced a huge gate. "This.. is Konohagakure?!"

Day 26: FINALLY!!! WOOT!! I have time to myself! Zato actually gave us each a few days for our own VACATION! Yeah.. I need it -.-" After all that Akaiso Works mess. No more Evian with his pedo tactics. No more Fuyu and his angry cynic personality that just crushes you from his mere presence. Though I wish Olvia could've come. Anyways, it's just me for a few days to enjoy Konoha. Actually.. crap, only 1 day aiyah! It took me 1 day to get here. It'll take another day to get back. I gotta be back in 2 days AIYAH. I can only be here one day. Well, the Hokage from Konohagakure actually sent me a letter saying that he will give me a tour (probably just to showcast how great his empire is -.-") So here I am, at the beautiful and awesome Village Hidden in the Leaves, KONOHAGAKURE!!! :3

Tsunade sat stressed as usual in her office. "Shizune, give me some sake."

Shizune turned around with a freaked look. "EH? NO TSUNADE-SAMA! You do remember what happened last time you had sake..."

She remembered well enough. Jiraiya took advantage of her being drunk and nearly had her when Naruto came and insulted her. He enraged her, making her destroy a corner of the village. She had told Jiraiya that if he ever tried anything again, she would definitely kill him. She did not even want to see him. "Alright, good enough a reason, I suppose."
A jounin pushed the door open and ran in. "Tsunade-sama!" he cried. "The visitor from the distant land has come!" Tsunade was up on her feet immediately. She had a job to do, and she did not want to disappoint the visitor.

/\/\/\

Raido and Izuma quickly opened the gates for Tohru, and she walked into a whole new world. The village was huge. There were stores everywhere. She even saw the faces of the five Hokages carved into the rock wall all the way at the back. "This is paradise! This is vacation!!" She saw a woman walking towards her with a smile on her face. "Konnichi waa sama!"

"You must be Tohru Makino, the pirate from the distant seas, right?" Tsunade asked.

"Mmmhm! And I'm here to relax and enjoy just a day or two here. Probably only a day."

"Indeed. And you are also here to view our surroundings, the Land of Fire, right?"

"Mhm, can you tell me where I can find Hokage-san?"

Tsunade chuckled and replied, "Hokage-sama I suppose, since you're talking to her right now."

Tohru dropped her suitcase and cried, "WHAA?!?"

/\/\/\

Two eyes peered through a gap in the wall. The predator watched silently at Tsunade and the young girl. A tongue snaked out and whipped around before sliding back in. "Princess Tsunade.. Princess Pirate.. two in one game, tsss.." he whispered. The gates opened and a carriage came out. Inside was a jonin with a lady and her son. They were obviously going somewhere. The snake struck with lightning. The carriage crumbled and blood spilled out from all sides. A bit later, Raido and Izuma realized the horror that occured and alerted Tsunade.

/\/\/\

Tohru got all the details about where she was from Teuchi in his Ramen Bar. She slurped on the tasty ramen till her stomach and heart were both satisfied. "This place is so awesome!"

At the same time, Tsunade smashed her fist on his desk. Izumo and Raido backed away a bit. Shizune too did not want to try calming Tsunade. "What the hell is he doing back here?!?" Tsunade screamed. She read the note carefully: UNLESS YOU WANT MORE TO DIE, MEET ME ALONE IN THE LAND OF FIRE WITH YOUR NEW PRINCESSSSS. ~ OROCHIMARU! "And I'm supposed to be touring Tohru around the Land of Fire. Argh.. OROCHIMARU!!! Get Jiraiya and Kakashi here at the moment."
Raido had unfortunate news for her. "Well, Tsunade. Jiraiya's been gone ever since your little drunk incident." Tsunade broke one wall down. "Kakashi went on a mission with Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura.."

"Well then, you two come with me."

"Er.. we have to.. um.. tend to the genin!" Izuma said. Tsunade screamed when they both snuck away.

"I'm gonna murder Orochimaru. Let Tohru come. I know Orochimaru's planning something. Secure this village as well as you can. Inform Aburame, Akimichi, Nara, Yamanaka, and Inuzuka about this. Tell them to guard the village. I will make sure Konoha is safe. And I will make sure Orochimaru DIES."

/\/\/\

Tohru looked to the side and saw the streets clearing. "Uh oh. What's happening?" Tsunade rampaged through and charged straight at her. Before Tohru could even scream for help, the Hokage abducted her and dragged her to the exit of the village. "Where are you taking me!? Save me!! Save me someone! It's a pedophile I tell you, she's a disguised rapist!!!"

When she stopped her shouting, Tsunade put her down on the grass. Tohru looked around. "Where.. am I?"

"These are the Plains of Fire. Big important spot in our journey. Anyways, moving on...!"
"What!? Wait, hold on, why are we in such a hurry!" Tohru cried, but Tsunade dragged her on. They were racing to the next landmark already.

She put Tohru down and pointed at the mountains several miles away. "The Village Hidden in the Smoke is somewhere over there. Moooving along!"

"EH WAIT A MINUTE!" Tohru yelped but she was yanked again.

They came to another forest, except Tohru tried to run away now. Tsunade shouted for Tohru to return, but Tohru did not. That's when the tongue shot out of nowhere and grasped Tohru. "I've got her, now thanks for bringing the small child to me!"

"HELP! HELP! RAPIST! I'M SURROUNDED BY THEM!" Tohru screamed louder than ever. Tsunade had to watch her move now. She had clearly stumbled. Orochimaru had Tohru.

"Gee, maybe I was drinking too much sake," she muttered to herself.

Orochimaru slithered and wrapped his whole body around Tohru. He was a menacing snake. His head protruded from his body and came right in front of Tohru's face. "Greetingssss.. small child!"

Tohru fainted from the sight of the pale demon. He licked his lips again and faced Tsunade once more. Unfortunately for him, Tsunade's arms were growing to huge proportions. "Orochimaru.. I intend to completely break you apart until you can suffer no more than anyone has in this world." Orochimaru gulped and dodged the first punch that came so swiftly. He continuously flipped backwards, hoping to avoid Tsunade's unimaginable wrath. With her opponent distracted, Tohru kicked Orochimaru in the shin and got free from his grip. She ran away from the scene and towards a nearby river. Orochimaru was about to follow, but Tsunade came out of nowhere and slammed him headfirst into the ground. From there, the Hokage beat her opponent sannin as ruthlessly as she could.

Tohru slipped into the river and tumbled a bit. An unlikely current swept her and threw her off the side of a large rock wall. Too bad.. Tohru had reached a waterfall. She flew off the side, all while crying for help, and plummeted to the water.
She landed safely but went a bit deep at first. When she got back to the surface, she swam to the side and lay down to dry off. Tohru breathed heavily to regain her breath. "So much for vacation!!" she sobbed.

Her adventure had not ended at all. A large shirtless man appeared in her vision. "Hehehe," he chuckled. "Greetings there, small child!"

Tohru saw the sake bottle in his hand and hit herself in the head. "What is with this place and messed up men?"

"The name's Jiraiya, and I'm the best of the best! By the way, I'm still single, you know?" Jiraiya hooted. "And when I say that, I'm not giving you any options. I'm tellin' you what I WANT!!"

Tohru really wanted to cry. "AIYAH! SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!"