Disclaimer: As usual, I do not own Naruto.
Overkill
'What is taking him so long?' Kakuzu wondered as he finished counting out his money. That cafe had been surprisingly cheap, so the old miser was pretty happy with the amount currently tucked away in a hidden pocket. He kept a small amount in a wallet as a decoy on the off chance they were ever robbed. A highly unlikely scenario, but still possible. Kakuzu didn't even try to deny that he was a slightly paranoid person when it came to money.
Kakuzu stood up, arranging his mask and hood as he did so. The camp had already been packed up, and all that was left was to wait for his partner. Although Kakuzu sincerely enjoyed the silence while the loud mouthed priest was off doing his creepy rituals, this was getting ridiculous. Hidan had been gone for hours. Kakuzu was not a patient man, so he set out to find him. As he searched the surrounding area with still no sign of Hidan, Kakuzu was getting more and more irritated. They had wasted time, and time was money.
Eventually, he stumbled upon Hidan, who had just finished a sacrifice. Although his wounds had healed, he was covered in blood and gore. But as much of a mess Hidan was, the mangled heap behind him was far worse. The person, if it had even been a person, was nigh unrecognizable.
The ritual didn't actually require such violence, it only needed Hidan to deal a lethal blow to himself and therefore the victim. Hidan could make it clean if he wanted to and he had on occasion, usually when they needed the body for a bounty. Why he had chosen to go all out on this person was beyond Kakuzu.
The stitched nin took a step closer, wrinkling his nose at the heavy, coppery scent of blood. The actual body was impossible to identify, but the tattered remains of a uniform were still evident. He wasn't certain, but he thought he recognized it. Because the cafe had been so cheap, he had tried to remember the name and location so he could return if they were ever in the area. The blood stained pieces of fabric looked like it could be from the cafe.
"Is that….?" He trailed off, looking at the priest.
"The bastard man-whore who wouldn't stop flirting with you? Yeah." Hidan answered, crossing his arms and glaring defiantly.
Realization dawned on Kakuzu. The waiter at the cafe had hung on his every word, even when said words just consisted of their orders. The clueless civilian had been smiling the whole time. Kakuzu hadn't paid him much attention, but apparently Hidan had.
"You idiot," Kakuzu growled. "We've been together for the better part of two centuries. Do you really think I'm going to leave you for a waiter?"
Hidan glared. "Of course not."
Kakuzu smirked. "Good. But it looks like you got a little jealous anyway." Hidan kept glaring for a few moments, as if to deny that he had been jealous, before eventually relaxing. "Whatever," he said, taking a step towards his partner.
Kakuzu dodged the attempted embrace. "You are not touching me until you take a damn bath, Hidan. You reek."
Hidan smirked, grabbing Kakuzu's hand and tugged him in the direction of the river. "Join me?"
AN: Yay for the zombie duo! Love these guys! I tried to keep them in character, so let me know if I did a good job. Heck, let me know if I failed epically. AU obviously, because my favorite characters aren't dead.