Miss Veronica Mitchell – aged 14
When the tears fall away
And there's no conversation
There's nothing left to break
That's not already broken
You're staring into space
And every inch of silence
Been standing here for days, and days
Ronnie lay silently upon her hospital bed. Eighteen hours of agonising labour, but it had all been worth it. Her beautiful baby girl was lying in a cot beside her mother.
Tears crept down the mother's face, portraying her pain, her hurt, her anger towards the people that had decided to take her life into their own hands. Archie sat adjacent to his daughter's hospital bed, stroking her soft blonde hair. To him, her tears represented his power, his love for his daughter. She was too young to understand, but one day, she would thank him. The day she realised she was a successful young woman, the day she figured that with a child, none of this would have been possible.
Said it all
Nothing to say at all
Nothing to say that matters
Haven't we heard enough?
What could she do? Whatever she did, he wasn't going to change his mind. It didn't matter that this was her baby, her life…their life. No, to him, this was just an inconvenience. He expected gratitude for 'sorting' it for her. Everything she could throw at him, she had. He had threatened to kick her out of the house if she didn't sign the adoption papers.
"Is that what you want Veronica? For you and this baby to be homeless? You'll be giving it a great start won't you? Now stop being so selfish and think about the life this baby can have with loving parents!" He spat at her, convincing the vulnerable girl that this was the right thing to do. Explaining how her hormones would settle so that life could return to normal, encouraging her to believe that she would forget in time, that the baby would be better off away from her.
Miss Danielle Jones – aged 19 –
Said it all
Nothing to say at all
Nothing to say that matters
Doesn't matter any more
In the sudden light of day
The weight of expectation
Hurt begins to fade
As you find a new direction
Been talking here for days and days and days
It was done. Ronnie was right, she didn't want Danielle. Fine! She's not mother material, just a machine. No heart, no emotions. She just gets on with things like a computer - unnatural…
Said it all
Nothing to say at all
Nothing to say that matters
Haven't we heard enough?
Lies, enough of his lies! She had to find Danielle, explain that she believed her. She wasn't crazy, delusional, or a freak. She was the answer to Ronnie's dreams, those little feet…
Said it all
Nothing to say at all
Nothing to say that matters
Doesn't matter any more
Danielle took her seat on the train. It didn't matter anymore. She was nobody. Thrown out amongst the trash, worthless, stupid little girl. To think she was once inside such a spiteful heartless bitch.
All of the miles of words we've spoken
All of the lines that got away
Didn't we take the time to say them all?
Ronnie watched the speedometer pass the 120 mark on her motorbike. She initiated a right indication, glanced in her mirror and swung into the right lane of the motorway. Her fingers clenched tightly around the handle bar, she twisted her wrist back and heard the engine roar. The clod air seeped through her helmet, stinging her eyes as the tears were blown away. 130mph…140mph…165 mph
All those horrible words she said to Danielle. Why? She didn't even mean most of them. She had made the girl feel so small, so scared. The way Ronnie had felt whilst she lay in hospital with the strands of her hair being caressed by that man…
All of the miles of words we've spoken
All of the lines that got away
Didn't we take the time to say them all?
Danielle had tried everything. The nice approach, the cold approach, even yelled at Ronnie. Nothing worked. She was programmed to be emotionless; missing the vital ingredient present in every mother. Danielle now saw her adoption as a blessing. Sure, she wanted Ronnie to be there in her life, to give her that sense of rightness, the fact that there was a daughter with her mother. Danielle had never had that in her existence. People always saw her and Lizzie differently. 'There's Lizzie Jones with her adopted daughter.' A word which stabbed at her heart, telling her over and over again, that someone out there hated her from the very beginning. Reminding her that this wasn't natural, that she owed someone something, a thank you for picking her up from the unwanted pile.
Said it all
Nothing to say at all
Nothing to say that matters
Haven't we heard enough?
Said it all
Nothing to say at all
Nothing to say that matters
Haven't we said it all?
Danielle found the exit of the tube station. Hopefully there would be a taxi around.
"I've told you before Danielle, those trains of yours are no match for my bike." Ronnie smiled, approached Danielle, who was struggling with her luggage.
Ronnie had arrived half an hour ago. Waiting was the hardest part, but it gave her time to think about how she would explain.
"Get away from me, I might be contagious you know!" Danielle glared at Ronnie, daring her to come closer. The girl was determined not to let any tears fall. Her mother didn't deserve them.
"Please, I'm so sorry, please Danielle, I can explain…"
"You can? Oh, well that's great. Lemme put my life on hold, just so Ronnie Mitchell can explain." Sarcasm occupied the majority of her tone. "So what?! What makes you think I want to hear your explanation? Am I not allowed to decide for myself? No, 'coz I'm just a piece of shit your life managed to get caught in ain't it! I don't have a choice do I? It's always what Ronnie wants! " She was attracting masses of attention as she marched away best she could with her burdening bags, but she didn't care.
Danielle's words only emphasized the thoughts in Ronnie's mind. The pain, the hurt, she was just like her father at his age. Always in the driving seat, not only in her life, but her baby's too…
"I've said it all Ronnie, nothing left to say to you."
Ronnie watched as the baby who once lay in her arms now stormed out of the tube station. The damage would never be fixed, but Ronnie would have to be shot before she was going to stop begging for Danielle's forgiveness.
