"Since when... did the trees stop looking green to me... When did Linkin Park feel so good to listen to?"
Here we see some gray haired chick, totally angsting because she forgot how to shot web.
--Cherry Blossom Hill--
Cue to the scene where some ginger's all walking down a normal town of normal proportions. She then looks at the piece of paper in her hand...
"No way, this is the Pokemon League...? LOL WUT. Dawg, you gotta be kidding me, it's that far!?"
She then breaks into a run and heads towards the Pokemon League.
"O lawd--I'm going to be in deep shit if I don't make it," so upon saying this, she divides by zero and creates a portal that leads her to the designated area, which sadly, isn't some mental institution in any town, in any place, in any copypasta.
She finally arrives and sees how cheap the animation budget is.
"ZOMG THE UNIFORMS ARE SO KAWAII DESU ;;,"
"OH SNAP THEM 7cm SKIRTS ARE SO SUGOII"
"PENIS PENIS PENIS"
Of course, she was to busy looking at the generic animu chicks that she didn't notice where she was going. That, and because she's a ginger. She uncontrollably ran down a steep hill and gets PWNED (and contracts AIDS? We don't know yet).
After getting her face pwnt, she looks up and sees this cheaply photoshooped church and this one hueg liek xBox lake.
"Oh God, where am I?" she says, confuzzledly. But the beyblader in her broke her worry into a cocky grin, "I'll have to go back, if I don't, I'LL NEVER BECOME A POKEMON MASTER AND HIDE MY FAILURES WITH NEW SEASONS AND SHIT CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL."
The ginger then runs back to the entrance and stuff. After two seconds of running, she falls into walking and gets lost somewhere in the forest. Then, like the Gaorrachiafgsfds forest from a certain Tales game, there's this huge blinding flash and shit and suddenly, light dramatically appears and shines towards a tree in the middle of the woods.
"This must be where I can get some HP lol," she says as she falls back against it.
She then turns around to see that one gray haired chick, yeah? But she gets all scared and junk so she like, stumbles down causing her bag to hit her IN THE FACE OH GOD MAGICAL FLOATS and as well as making her Ebichu keychain fall to the ground.
The gray haired chick is now all like, "WTF IS THIS SHIT?"
The ginger then uses her backpack as a shield against the other girl because running is never an option for anorexic people. Upon seeing that she reacted a bit too much, she pulls her bag down a bit, to watch if the opposing girl was going Stormcrow on her. But, the other girl wasn't doing such an epic feat, instead the ginger just looked at her as if she were the true meaning of Chocklit Rein.
"Oh wow... I'd hit that," she remarks, but then suddenly realized what she just said, "Oh, I'm sorry for such a rude comment, you see, I just transferred here, so basically I'm still a n00b. Please don't ban my ass," the ginger comments, her eyes sparkling with lust, and hunger. Mostly hunger. Someone needs to give these chicks a cheeseburger or something.
"It's okay lol," the silver haired girl then picks up the ginger's Ebichu keychain and attempts to hand it to her. ""Here."
The ginger starts to walk up to her and holds her hand out to grab her keychain and GTFO. Their hands meet, and the other girl then notices how long the ginger's fingers are.
"o thx u fo be mah frind," says the ginger.
But then, the silver haired girl challenges her to a battle.
DAGAGAGAGAGADUNDADADADUN
But the ginger just remembered that all her Pokeymans had fainted and she didn't have any.
Text suddenly appears out of nowhere, reading: THE GINGER HAS NO MORE POKEYMANS LEFT. THE GINGER WHITED OUT.
After she fainted, the other girl then started to J-J-JAM IT IN.
--
"Oh snap, wtf, "the ginger yelled as she awoke in the Pokayman centre. "Man, that was some messed up lucid dream. I shouldn't smoke pot before I leave home. Like seriously, dude. Seriously."
She checks inside her uniform to see if one of her breasts may have been chopped off in some attempt to score some guro. She then starts to look around. Upon checking to her left, she sees some weird blue haired chick, with epic purple-ish eyes staring at her, smiling as if she had just nabbed a 1000000 GET.
Of course, the ginger then jumps in surprise (if I were her, I'd probably do the same. Except some cunt punting would be included).
"Sweet exploding gonads D: blue hair--I have red, so this must mean that you must be my rival!!11shift+1!"
"Ah, sorry, I may have tried to fap on your face while you were sleeping. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't take advantage of some random high school chick--I mean--KAWAII DESU "
The ginger then looks at her, her eyes as wide as saucers (or was it? I can't tell, it's animu after all. Everyone has super kawaii big-ass eyes).
"Am I in the Pokayman centre?" she asks.
"No, this is the Black Sword's infirmary. This is where you raise Tamagotchi ripoffs," the blue haired perv replies. "btw mah screenname is SuzumiTamao.exe. I want you to scream that while we totally get it on."
The ginger then moves a little towards Tamao. "Oh, my name, shit I can't remember, I don't usually use tripcodes. I really hate being a tripfag."
Tamao smiles, "Don't worry, I know your name. It's lonelygurl15--I mean, Aoi Nagisa, amirite? You're in the same grade and class as me--also, we're roommates. Isn't that sugoooooooiiiiiiii desu?"
Nagisa simply looks at Tamao, her face neutral, as if she had just seen Goatse for the very first time.
"Nagisa, you okay lol? WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT YOUR POWER LEVELS?" Tamao screams in a very serious tone.
Nagisa jumps up on the bed, "IT'S OVER 9000--!!"
The blue haired perv starts giggling at the shitty attempt of inserting memes into the story, "I lol'd."
Her giggling was ceased when Nagisa starts worrying. Again. "O lawd, it's waaaaay to late already. I can never become Pokieman master now. Thanks a lot, fag."
"STFU. You should be grateful, I saved your ass, you were almost gangraped by a whole mess of upperclassmen. I was going to join, but I decided, if I saved you, I could score points with you later. GO GO GENERIC SHONEN ROMANCE PLOT."
"FO REALS? DAYUMN, I'm sorry to have doubted you, Tomato. I was all nervous about this Pokieman master thing that I could barely sleep, so I took some pot to relieve some of the stress. It helped but still, y'know... I'm here and I have no idea what the shit's been going on."
"OH U. Well, newayz I'm your roommate, so it's my duty to stalk you and shit. COMPRENDE?"
"Si, senor."
"YOUR TRANSFER PROCEDURES ARE ALL AFFIRMATIVE. WE SHALL NOW BE TAKING A TOUR AROUND THE BASE. AFTERWARDS, WE SHALL RETURN TO OR ASSIGNED SLEEPING AREAS."
"lol, w/e."
"But before that..." With her eyes hidden in her hair, kinda like the universal faceless hentai-penis-man, she grabs something from her pockets. It appears to be some tape of some sort.
"Now this is what I'm talking about. Duct tape--wait that's not--OH GOD NO. NOT INNUENDO."
Tamao then wrapped the measuring tape around Nagisa, and started taking notes down "I'm jotting down your measurements because we need it for your AWESOME DIGIMAN TAMER OUTFIT. This is more of an excuse to get some boob though."
"But I want a Pikachu..." Nagisa sighed.
"NO," Tamao yelled sternly.
"Well, shit."
--
So okay, they went to the base's salvation army to go get some sexy bondage outfits, as well as Nagisa's new tamer uniform. After that's done, it was time for the tour around the school, so off they went.
"So when do I get my Mudkips?" Nagisa asks, as she turns to the other girl.
"i haet mudkips," she replies.
"D'aww."
"deal w/it."
"'Ey, what about the measurement's, what's with that?"
"It's necessary for a doujin I'm making."
"Hawt."
Anyway, outside, they started to talk about why Nagisa was transferred to this unit.
"y r u here lol? plz be telling me da epic story bcuz it prolly cant get itz own epizode cuz the animation budget is like, crap," the blue haired girl asks, turning to her newfound "friend."
Nagisa drew in some air and began: "You see, I was born and raised in West Philadelphia, one day I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said 'you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air' but when I got there, I wasn't black enough so they sent me here instead."
Tamao then stared at her wide eyed. Her mouth gaped a bit. "Wow, you're story's so deep. It made me cum rainbows. It's rare to see Rookie tamers transfer here, y'know? We mostly get n00bs."
The ginger looks at her friend and asks, "Wtf is a rookie? That's not on my trainer card."
"You see, in this server, we have this thing where we have like, ranks, not some shitty trainer card colour change."
"Fuck you, Tomato."
They paused for a second, for a bit of sightseeing and to explain a bit more about the Astraea Server.
Nagisa started to look around, then something catches her attention, so she asks, "What's that thing there? It looks like a giant--"
"It's a Cathedral. That's where we hold sacrifices," Tamao answers.
"LOL WHAT."
"West of that Cathedral is the Blue Falcon headquarters."
-cue to what I thought was White Castle-
"East is the Gold Hawk station, ja?"
-cue to fruity pink and green school-
Finally, something ticked inside Nagisa, "Fo' realz, dawg? This must be why I saw three different outfits. Like seriously, I was wondering why you got me the shittiest one. I thought we could choose or something. And to think I was about to bust a cap in yo' ass. Haha."
"The white uniform belongs to the Blue Falcon's, yes? And the red kawaii animu sefuku desu belongs to the Gold Hawks."
"Wait, wait. Dude, I thought those were Spica and Luli--"
"STFU, Nagisa."
"GAAAHH. Je ne comprends pas..."
"Hold on while I open google translator."
Well, after some walking, they finally arrived at Nagisa's station... err, classroom. Of course, no one was there because everyone was outside having a Tijuana carwash party.
"This is where you'll be working your ass off. If you slack, the mods will ban you, " says Tamao warningly.
"Why does this look so cheap? I thought we were rich and whatnot."
"plz dun question me or i'll have to charge mah lazer," Tamao replies, "also, we have to go back to the sleeping quarters lol."
They walked back tot he dorms, via really old hallways that seriously need to be washed. Or Photoshopped better.
"You can't stay out late, six o'clock curfew and whatnot. If you do, well... the nuns will be doing God knows what to you," Tamao states very sternly.
"Wow, this school just got a whole lot shittier."
"STFU."
They arrived at what seems to be a huge statue of the Mother Mary. HUEG. Not as hueg as xBox though, or almost as long as longcat. The two compadres then precedeed to pray.
Tamao opens her eyes, to catch a glimpse of Nagisa praying... something about the B&HAMMER, "wow ur so kawaii, even when u pray..."
"Of course, nigga."
But her phrase was cut short as two girls then walked past them. One of them then spoke up, "Hey Tamao, we saved on spot for you at the Tijuana carwash. Wanna stay here or do you wanna come, both figuratively and literally, with us?
"I'll choose the latter," the blue haired girl smiles.
So, Tamao casts off her uniform, and ran off and Nagisa was left by herself so she decided to gb2/dorms/ by herself. The sun was setting causing an eerie glow to fall on the badly Photoshopped trees. But, all of a sudden, she sees some sort of apparition fly past and because she's a retarded ginger, she decides to go follow it instead of going back to the dorms.
"That I.P. address, you're the same fag as before!"
She starts running but then gets lost, because... she's a ginger lol.
"Now where'd that nigga go--" She looks at her watch, "Ahh! It's almost 6! I'M GONNA GET THE B&HAMMER FOR REALZ THIS TIEM!"
On the other side of the compound, we see Tamao running, just barely making it past the curfew. She then arrives at the dorms. Thinking Nagisa was there, she put on a bondage outfit, whip included of course and entered the room, in a sexy fashion--she totally went DYNAMIC ENTRY on that shit.
"Hay Nagisa, let's try out that 'two girls, one cup' thing--!!"
But Nagisa wasn't there. So, Tamao got all worried and pissed off at the same time.
"FGSFDS."
Cue to the seen where Nagisa is running for her life, and for the sake of the interwebs. She tried to run as fast as she could, to catch the now closing gates. Tamao was on the other side, running for Nagisa.
Tamao then gasped out, "DUDE, whatever you do, don't come in, I don't want your head all caught up in that gate and chopped off--like in that one doujin where you starred."
"TOMATOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Nagisa yelled. Of course, what Tamao said didn't happen, isntead Nagisa's stuck on the other side, totally shitting bricks now, "Now I'll never become Pokayman master D:"
"Oh man, your screwed. Only the admin can open the door."
"Admin, what is this moonspeak?"
"You're screwed, here comes Administrator Shaneequa Latifa Bunifa Rashifa Tequila Shaqueefa Jackson."
Some old bag then walks up to Nagisa, see? Nagisa looks up to face the admin.
"Oh damn. Lady, you may be old, but I'd still hit that," Nagisa remarks silently.
The admin obviously takes this as SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS, "Keep yo' mouth shut, gurl. You fucking didn't follow the rules. I'm gonna have to suspend yo' ass--but, for now, I'm just gonna have to bend you over and bring it around town."
--
BAM. The admin's B&Hammer hits the desk fiercly.
The admin looks at Nagisa, "Gurl, just cuz u couldn't stay at Bel-Air don't mean dat u get to screw around this server. BITCH PLEASE." This time, she was totally tellin' bitches off.
"No need to get your panties in a bunch, I'm sorry DDDDD:," Nagisa pleaded.
"Say the Terms of Agreement one moar tiem if u dun wanna get sent to B&land," The admin whacks her B&Hammer on her desk once again.
"This sucks small, blue penis. Seriously."
Nagisa started to recite the rules loudly as the admin looked at her, pissed off, like, fo' real.
Tamao was waiting outside the admin's office. She then turns to see that some other blue haired chick was there, her hair was shorter and darker though.
"Station President, Rokujew..."
Tamao was cunt punt'd for this.
Meanwhile, Nagisa was still inside, trapped and confused and is unable to get out. She was kind of like "the gerbil."
"Rule #15...? If a camwhore posts, tits must be shown. If this rule is broken, said camwhore most get the fu--" Nagisa, as well as the admin, paused in what they were doing when they heard a knock on the door.
Rokujew then came--rainbows--and totally went FIST OF THE NORTH STAR on the admin's face and grabbed Nagisa's arm. They then ran outside, taking Tamao along the way, heading towards the dining hall. LOLWTF.
Little ginger Nagisa was still confused as fuck so she's all like: "Guh, whut. WHAT. What's going on now? Man, I'm still lucid dreaming aren't I? Where are we going? B&land? Remind me to post this as a copypasta somewhere..."
"Every n00b has to meet the representative of the trinity. I'm going to be taking you to her," Rokujew tells her.
"She better not have blue hair too. I'm like, totally going DSFARGEG over that right now."
--
The clock read 6:45. Everyone was in the dining hall. All of the BG characters looked the same, just with different eye and hair colour. Oh, Japan.
Here we see another ginger talking to her green-haired (WHAT THE--) friend.
"Do you think she has AIDS? The new recruit, I mean," the ginger asks.
Her friend raises a brow, "AIDS? I don't think she's slept with you yet."
"Fuck you, dude."
A blonde (blonde asians? lol animu) loli then overhears them talking. She holds up her bear... thing and starts speaking to it. She shows signs of being an ass-burger.
"Pandamon, what do you think of the new recruit?"
"She closed the pools," the bear replied.
The girl then squints her eyes and replies, "hurr hurr i c whut u did thar."
The green haired (LOLOLOL) girl then backs up a bit, causing a glass of water to -almost- fall, luckily, some other chick caught it (a chick with an actual believable hair colour for an Asian).
The girl had a pair of ribbons on her BLACK--not purple, not blue, not yellow, not rainbow--hair, which sayed gently as she moved. She then speaks to the other girl, "You best watch yo' back, nigga. We need this water to supersoak dem hoes."
"Please, please, for the love of Allah, don't talk like a fag," says the the leprechaun.
Anyway, some background character looks over her left shoulder and asks the girl next to her, "Do you think that the new recruit will be super special awesome?"
The other girl(obviously one of the main characters) , with short, blue hair (God whut) with blue eyes then slowly starts to speak, "i dunno lol. y u aks me?"
On the other side of the room, there's more talking. Once again, it's between another BG character and another main character. With pink hair. PINK. WHAT. Damn you, animu.
"Something something noob... etc."
"I really don't care about the newb. She comes from the Black Sword guild, so I don't care, but later on, I probably will, after all I'm a Tsundere desu," the pink haired girl replies, as she picks up a strawberry daifuku.
On the same side of the room, we see, oh lord, another Asian (Oh hay, realism? Not really. This is anime), with long black hair and wild, yellow eyes (is dat sum yellow fever?) and the subject of many fanfics on this site, speaking to her ubermach-Aryan friend.
The dark haired girl then leaned closer to the blonde, "hay baiyb, when'll u tell me that a/s/l info?"
"Don't talk to me. I don't like your kind," she mumbles as she looked around.
The camera then pans to this dude--Oh wait--IT'S A TRAP. Well, more like reverse trap. With blue hair (ASDFMOAR!?) and red eyes (don't smoke pot, kids). She looked indifferent (I'm guessing this will be her facial expression for everything), "I hope this one isn't one of those special needs students. We have enough of those already..."
Outside, Nagisa, Rokujew, and Tamao were standing outside the dining hall's door.
"This is the dining hall. It is made of lolis and DIABEETUS. Before you start fattening yourself, greet the rep first," Rokujew states as she opened the door.
"SIR! YES, SIR!" Nagisa exclaims.
As the door opened, all the dykes turned and focused everything on the ginger. Nagisa looked to her left and glanced at the student's in black, smiling at her. To the other direction, the students in white looked as if they'd just seen Chris Crocker. Also: ARYAN ALERT.
She shuddered a bit, "I feel like the subject of an intense bukkake session."
Nagisa stops to see a group of students crowded in a small circle.
Rokujew then began, "This is the new recruit, captain. She's here to greet you and such."
Nagisa whispered to herself, "She's in the middle of that circle jerk? She must be extremely hardcore. TO THE MAX, y'all."
Upon hearing this, the students then turned to face her. In the middle, there was a girl with long purple hair. She, too, turns to face Nagisa and begins to stand, "She just logged off..."
But before the girl could finish her sentence, Nagisa began to drop to her knees and her eyes closed, and hands cupped near her mouth, as if she were asking for it, and spoke, "Oh, master, I shall do whatever you would like. I won't complain, just please spare me from bannination a--"
Tamao and Rokujew were all like LOLWUT. Once Nagisa had finished her sentence, Tamao then worriedly stepped up ('cause the bass is buzzin) and spoke to the ginger indirectly, "Nagisa, you retarded cunt..."
Nagisa stood back up and sighed a breath of relief. Suddenly, another girl leans forward towards the ginger and whispers, "Guess what a simple google search can do?"
With a quick body jerk, Nagisa turned around and realized who just spoke to her. She steps back and points accusingly at the gray haired chick, "A CHALLENGER APPEARS!"
Of course, apathetic to the current reaction of the ginger, the other girl walks up closer to her. Nagisa gets even more defensive this time.
"Who do you think I am? Snapesnogger? Back, limey! You're in front of the boss here, faggot! Changing your I.P. address won't do anything :0 shift+1"
Everyone lol'd when they saw how retarded Nagisa is. Even Rokujew went facepalm on that shit. But this only motivated the gray haired girl even more. She smirked and moved even moar closer towards Nagisa.
She cornered the ginger and looked into her eyes and said, "ITTY BITTY BABY ITTY BITTY BOAT."
"I... I DON'T BELIEVE IT--!!" Nagisa yells, as she knew what to say in situations like these.
"HABEEB IT!" The other girl screams in her face.
All the other girls anticipated the final blow and moved up from their chairs to look closer. But! Just when Nagisa was about to TWINKIE HOUSE the gray haired dyke in face, Rokujew steps in and stops them, "Shizuma, stop before I cunt punt you."
"Baww. Why must you be so faggoty at times like these?" Shizuma pouts, quite disappointed.
"Because... it's time."
The clock struck 7. It was about time for... something. I don't know.
Shizuma walks away, leaving Nagisa in a WTF state. Tamao zooms in to catch Nagisa and tries grab some boob. "Nagisa-chaaaan D: WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
Nagisa quickly awakens from her daze and answers, "MUDA DA, Tomato."
"WRONG ANSWER." Tamao then punched Nagisa in the face.
Rokujew proceeds and asks everyone to SENTARSE AND STFU. Everyone was so skeered and covered in lust, seeing as how everyone was sex-deprived and SO RONERY ;;. Nagisa sat in her place, with Tamao to her right. Tamao looked at her, or more specifically, her sweater-puppies. Nagisa sighs, quite depressed since now, everyone thinks she has downs or something.
Rokujew motioned for Shizuma to stand, "Lead us to prayer, oh mighty one."
"WHY HER? I'M LUCID DREAMING. COPYPASTA. NOT GONNA BE A POKAYMAN MASTER. BEKs EVERYWHERE." Nagisa moaned as she continually slammed her head on the table.
Tamao then jammed a nail, square on her head, "Shut your whore mouth pleez." With that, Nagisa quited down, temporarily.
Shizuma, proceeds with the prayer, "Dear Jesus, Please kill everyone. Regards, lesbian catholic high school girls. P.S. Do you think this is ironic? I think so too. Please E-mail me soon. Amen, desu. o"
Nagisa glances up, interrupted from her chain of thoughts revolving around Beyonce's face, "Heh. She obviously forgot to mention something about shotting web."
Shizuma ended her prayer, looked at Nagisa and gave her a wink wink nudge nudge motion.
Nagisa looks at her and states, "REQUEST DENIED."
--
Inside their sleeping quarters, Tamao and Nagisa were resting from unpacking all of Nagisa's data and porn stash. Boxes were stacked on top of each other (cud dis b sum foreshadowing ;D?) and the room was a mess. Tamao had decided to play around with Nagisa's hair for tonight, collecting strands to complete her Nagisa shrine.
Tamao brushed Nagisa's hair and touched her face, "Wow, that was one bitchin' Kwanzaa, I can tell you that."
"Tomato, am I still lucid dreaming? 'Cause I usually don't do weird shit like that unless I am."
"If I told you that you still are, would you go to bed with me?"
"Are you shitting me? I'm not turning this shitty fanfic into a kawaii YayaxOC angst-fest story."
"It already is."
"Well, shit," Nagisa groans, "Can I still get my Pikachu though?"
"No."
--
Nagisa had just enrolled herself in an apeshit insane school! Will she be able to fuse with Goku and Chad Wardenn? Will she be able to handle the burden of dying to come back to life? Her destiny awaits her! Find out soon on the next episode of DRAGONBALL Z.