A loud sigh escaped Regina's lips as she watched the group of heroes argue over the best course of action when it came to Emma. The quarrels always went the same; Snow and David defending Emma's pureness and believing she will defeat the darkness, and Hook fighting to remove the Dark One's magic before Emma became lost to it. The tune was always the same, even if the lyrics changed on occasion.
After a while of the heroes going back and forth over their pettiness, Regina's mind began to drift and the sounds of their voices became a whisper compared to the loud thoughts in her head.
There was no denying the Dark One's magic was starting to take a hold of Emma, a hold the Savior might not be able to remove herself from. Regina knew the darkness all too well; once it entered your system there was no removing it. It would become a part of you as essential as the blood which fuels your body.
When the Dark One's magic engulfed Emma, Regina felt the shock waves of her heart exploding when the ground shook underneath her feet. The love she held for the Savior, dormant for so long became alive once again, and it fueled her drive and she stopped at nothing until she reached Emma at the Enchanted Forest.
When they finally found the blonde with Merida's heart in her hand, Regina wanted to run to her and be the one to pull Emma away from temptation but when Hook stepped in, Regina was rudely reminded of her place in Emma's life.
Always a spectator, never a partaker; not when it came to Emma's heart.
That's why when Emma presented her with the dagger, Regina was shocked by the action and the words which accompanied such action.
After that eventful day, Regina felt her disassembled heart begin to piece itself back together. Although Regina felt her heart begin to heal, she didn't allow herself to leap head first into the sea of her emotions, not when Emma still cling to Hook as if her life depended on it.
The two were inseparable and Regina saw no hope in ever coming close to reaching Emma's heart.
That's why the memory of yesterday and what she thought she saw in Emma's eyes is her mind trying to find something where there was nothing and Regina chastised herself for letting old feelings resurface.
The unlikely partnership of King Arthur and Zelena caught the group off guard and when Regina saw an opening to take Excalibur from King Arthur she didn't hesitate for a second, not when it meant possessing the broken sword could free Emma of the darkness.
With some magic and quick reflexes Regina was able to escape Arthur's swing of the sword and able to take hold of the famous sword. When Emma had rushed to her side, fearing the worse and checking her over to see if she had any injuries, Regina's heart thumped loudly in her chest.
When brown eyes met green ones, Regina saw a spark in the depth of green eyes. A spark which Regina had only ever seen emit from Emma's eyes whenever the Savior looked at their son. The former Evil Queen saw layers upon layers of love in Emma's gaze, whispering so many promises to Regina's heart.
The image of a concerned Emma looking at her with so much love and longing haunted Regina. She knew better then to search for hope in an endless sea of despair. As much as she yearned the love of the blonde woman, Regina needed to get a hold of her emotions; they were starting to play mind tricks on her.
Because someone as brave and selfless as Emma couldn't possible love someone full of sorrow and selfishness like Regina. There was no happy ending for the former Evil Queen and the sooner she accepted the sad fact, the better.
She shouldn't cling on to any sign of hope. Just because she fooled herself into thinking she saw love in green eyes doesn't mean Emma would remarkably profess her undying love. Faith never worked in Regina's favor.
Rubbing her neck, Regina remembered how close Excalibur had come to her throat but most importantly she remembered the soft caress from Emma. Regina closed her eyes and reminisced the feel of Emma's delicate touch on her skin.
When Emma's fingers touched Regina, it was the closes she had felt to being alive in years. Regina had wanted to stay in that moment for as long as possible but the burning of Hook's gaze made Regina hastily pull away but not before Emma insisted on checking her over to see if she had any scrapes or wounds.
It didn't go unnoticed by her how Hook looked at them, it was a mixer between curiosity and suspicion. Reluctantly, Regina walked away from the object of her affection and towards the man she pretend to love in order to forget the blonde goddess.
Robin was a good man but Regina's heart didn't belong to him, it never did and it never will. Regina wasn't worthy of anyone's love. She had inflict too much pain during her years as the Evil Queen and caused too many deaths.
The drowned out voices became alive once more when Hook's shouts vibrated off Granny's walls. Regina drew her attention back to Hook as he shouted his displeasures at Merlin. Regina tilted her head while she studied the Captain. The weight of Emma's salvation was weighing heavily on the pirate and Regina found herself feeling pity for the man. It was obvious to everyone that Emma's dip into darkness was affecting him greatly. The poor guy was losing himself. Yet Regina couldn't help but feel envious.
She wanted to be the one to free Emma of the darkness. She wanted to be on the receiving end of Emma's love. For those reasons and many more, Regina detested Hook.
Regina tried to focus on the conversation occurring inside the diner but every time she tried to concentrate her mind drifted back to Emma. Ever since Emma sacrificed herself for Regina's happiness, old feelings long forgotten began to reemerge and the brunet hated herself because of it. The worse crime against herself is hope. There was no reason to hold on to fable wishes. She was no longer eighteen and naïve. She no longer believed in true love and happily ever after. Those type of adolescent dreams were stripped from her when she was forced to marry Leopard and become step-mother to Snow White. Those type of foolish notions died the moment her own mother ripped Daniel's heart out right in front of her.
Regina wasn't eighteen years old anymore. She knew better than to hope for love and happiness.
Yet her gloom thoughts didn't stop her heart from reacting whenever she thought of Emma.
Regina shifted her sight from the bickering heroes in front of her and it landed on a certain blonde beauty standing outside the diner. Emma held the spark in her hand. She was trying to ignite the fire but was failing miserably. Regina smiled at how adorable Emma looked concentrating. After a couple of seconds of Emma giving the spark some intense stares, the woman snapped her head away from the spark and began to speak and follow an invisible figure. At first Regina starred at Emma with confusion but quickly it clicked inside of Regina that Emma must be talking to the darkness.
With a frown on her face, Regina lifted herself off her chair and began to make her way out of the diner but stopped mere steps from the door when she heard Hook's voice behind her.
"Where the bloody hell are you going?" He questioned with a deadly glare.
"I am going for a walk, is that okay with you Pirate?" It was a challenge. Regina glared at Hook, daring him to say anything. Regina could see Hook knew of her intentions of going after Emma.
"Do you need any company?" Robin added.
Regina's face softened when she turned towards her boyfriend. "No. I need some time to think."
He merely nodded with a sad expression on his face. Regina had been very distant with Robin as of late and it hadn't gone unnoticed by the thief.
Without further objections Regina made her way outside and closed the gap between herself and Emma. She wasn't able to make out the conversation Emma was having with the darkness and it abruptly ended when she got near.
Emma was staring at the spark when Regina approached her.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Regina said and Emma tore her eyes away from the spark.
"He's taunting me", Emma explained. Regina didn't need to be told who he was. "He's saying I can't make it work because I'm not ready to let go of the darkness."
Regina nodded in understanding. She wasn't fully aware of the reason behind Emma's reluctance to let go of the darkness but Regina knew all too well of how seductive dark magic can be.
Looking back at Granny's, Regina could clearly see the group of heroes still arguing among themselves. "How about we go for a walk?" She suggested.
A look of gratitude graced Emma's face. "I would love that."
The two began to walk along a dirt path. Their strides were short and the journey was quiet but Regina found herself enjoying every second they were spending together. The urge to reach over and hold Emma's hand was strong.
"Thank you by the way, for caring so much about my well-being." Regina said, bringing up the events that transpired after they were freed from Zelena's magic.
Emma smiled. "I should be thanking you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have Excalibur."
"Arthur had it coming." Regina chuckled at the thought of Arthur screaming like a child in his castle because he lost his favorite toy.
"Is that the only reason you did it?" Emma asked shyly.
Regina quirked her eyebrow at Emma's sudden bashfulness. "And what other reason would I have?"
"Oh I don't know", Emma smirked, "maybe because you care about me."
Regina smiled and rolled her eyes. "I think it's well established we have moved past our rivalry."
Emma merely hummed in response.
"It feels good, doesn't it?" Regina said. "The lure of the power, being able to indulge in every impulse. Be able to do whatever you want." She thought back to her days as the Evil Queen. Her own darkness stirred inside of her at the memory of how good it felt to wield such powerful magic. No matter how much Regina has strayed from her dark days the darkness is always a part of her. There's a thin layer between herself and the darkness and every day Regina struggles to keep it at bay.
The idea of once again becoming a victim to its allure frightened Regina beyond comprehension.
"Yes." Emma whispered. "Is that so wrong?"
Regina chuckled at the question. "Yes."
They halted when they came near a clearing. Both women stopped and starred at the beautiful scenery. The water flowed for miles and in the distance green mountains stood tall in front of a clear sky; it was truly breathtaking.
"I just want to be able to protect the ones I love." Emma spoke up.
Regina sighed at Emma's words. "And the only way to protect your family is by vanishing the darkness once and for all. What is holding you back?"
"I told you the darkness gives me the power to protect my love ones and without it I'm afraid I won't be able to protect them." Emma said a little rattled by Regina's question.
Regina studied Emma closely. While there was some truth to what the blonde woman was saying Regina could also see that Emma was holding something else back. "There's something else that is keeping you from truly letting go of the darkness."
Emma didn't argue. She didn't disagree with what Regina had said. There was a long pause while Emma starred at the sea of water. The Savior remained quiet without giving Regina a single glance. The Mayor felt a bit disappointed that after everything she and Emma had gone through the Sheriff still didn't feel comfortable opening up to her. Just when Regina had given up hope at getting anything out of Emma, the blonde woman finally spoke up.
"Once I give up the darkness, we will return to Storybrooke." Emma said and Regina frowned at the explanation.
"I don't understand."
Emma inhaled and followed it up with a long sigh. "Killian wants us to move in together."
It felt like a drop of acid was poured inside of her at the announcement. Everything inside of her was screaming in agony but Regina maintained her composure in order not to alert Emma. She knew eventually this would happen but Regina still hadn't been prepared for the revelation. "Congratulations." The words tasted bitter in her mouth.
Emma snorted bitterly and the act caught Regina off guard.
"I haven't told him I don't want to move in with him." Emma's voice contained so much sadness and pain.
Regina frowned at the news. She thought everything was going great for Emma and Hook. She had witnessed the moment when Emma professed her love for Hook before taking the darkness inside of her. Yet Emma was contradicting everything Regina thought was true.
"I can't go back and continue to live a lie." Emma spoke with conviction.
"I thought everything was going well with Hook. I thought you guys were in love." Regina spoke her greatest fears.
Emma shook her head at Regina's words. "I can't be in love with Hook when someone else holds my heart."
Regina felt her heart stop at Emma's words.
Then Emma turned towards her and what Regina saw in Emma's eye reignited her once disassembled heart and this time it beat with love and hope.
"I mean it Regina. I can't go back to Storybrooke and continue to pretend to love Killian." Emma reached out and took hold of Regina's hands.
Regina's veins pulsed with anticipation. The impulse to embrace Emma was threatening to spill but Regina kept it locked up for fear of having misread the signs.
Emma closed the gap between them and Regina's breathed hitched. "It's always been you Regina." The blonde placed her forehead against Regina's.
Regina closed her eyes to savor the moment. The smell of Emma swirled around her, as waves of emotions crashed inside of her, making her mind a clutter of thoughts and questions. She could feel Emma's breathe against her face and Regina became very aware of the proximity of Emma's lips to hers.
Emma's words were promises of things she had longed for.
"Emma", Regina whispered against Emma's lips while she affectionately rubbed her cheek against Emma's. Not wanting to face reality but tired of living in her fantasy, Regina slowly opened her eyes ready to face the harsh truth.
She was ready to see rejection and misunderstanding in Emma's eyes but Regina soared when in the depth of green eyes she saw love and devotion. Hope was rising from the pit of her stomach and traveling towards a destination, at the center of Regina's chest.
"Please", Regina pleaded. The plea wasn't for Emma to kiss her, it was a plea for Emma to assure her that her heart wasn't being played with. After years of people toying with her heart, Regina couldn't bear to let herself fall into this moment only for it to be a ruse.
As if sensing her dilemma Emma leaned forward and said the magical words Regina had been craving to hear. "I love you."
Regina had so much sorrow inside she never thought anyone would be able to reach her but those three words encircled her blackened heart with joy.
Regina laughed out in delight and tears of happiness spilled out openly, Regina let herself surrender to the moment. "I love you too."
She crashed her lips against Emma's. The feeling of Emma's lips moving against her own was like no other feeling she had ever experienced. Their bodies molded perfectly well together and their lips moved in synch, being in Emma's arm felt like home.
Their moment of happiness was cut short when they heard someone clear their throat.
Regina reluctantly pulled away from Emma and smiled when she heard a whimper of disapproval emit from the blonde goddess but when she turned towards the source of the interruption Regina's happiness sunk.
Hook stood there with a hard expression on his face.
"I came to check on you, to see if you were okay. Looks like I made a fool out of myself." He said and walked away from them.
Emma took a quick glance at Regina and the brunet saw so much regret in green eyes before Regina could get a word in Emma was out of her arms and running after a distress pirate.
Regina was left starring at the spot Emma once stood.
Her stomach became unease when the idea of Emma regretting their kiss seeped into her head. Where there was once hope now became a wasteland of doubt and hate. Regina angrily wiped away her tears and berated herself for childishly believing in true love and happy endings.
She was stupid to have thought that Emma would ever love someone so damaged.
She blackened her heart long ago and no amount of good acts could ever erase the dark spots in her heart. Regina dug her grave decades ago and now she had to lay in it.
Only seconds ago Regina fooled herself into thinking love was possible. Left standing here in the cold was reality slapping her in the face. After what felt like hours to the brunet she snapped out of her rage and began to march away from where she and Emma shared their first kiss. She walked away from optimism and possibility and walked towards uncertainty and loneliness, at least with the latter she was familiar with.
So wrapped up in her own self-loathing that Regina failed to hear Emma calling her name. The sound of her voice being uttered by Emma didn't become apparent until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Tensing at the touch, Regina clenched her hand and locked her jaw.
"Where are you going?" Emma asked from behind.
"I thought I would give you and the pirate some privacy." Regina said through gritted teeth.
"Why would you do that?"
The thumping in her chest let Regina know how invested she already was to the idea of her and Emma and her anger became tenfold. "Is it amusing Emma?" Regina snapped around and Emma took a step back, startled by Regina's demeanor. "Is it some sort of sick Dark One joke? You Dark One's just love manipulating me. Playing with my emotions." Regina's eyes were full of rage.
"Regina, what are you talking about? What joke? What game?" Emma looked utterly confused but Regina was too riled up to take notice.
"You think you can get me to profess my love for you and then run away with captain eyeliner to play house?" Regina barked.
Emma frowned at her words then her face lite up with realization. "You thought I went after Killian to apologize?"
Regina glared at the blonde. "Well didn't you?" She spat.
Emma's face softened. "Now who's being the idiot?" The blonde laughed lightly.
Hearing Emma laugh at her misfortune only fueled her anger further but it was quelled when Emma cupped her face.
"I went after Killian to end things with him properly."
Those words were music to Regina's ears. She visible relaxed and felt her anger dissipate.
"I meant every word I said. I love you and when we return to Storybrooke I want to start my future with you and Henry."
Without waiting for an invitation, Regina reached forward and pressed her lips against Emma's for their second kiss of the day. This one just as powerful as the first one.