Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I do not make any money from
this piece of fanfiction. All rights belong to MGM, I think
Chapter One
For the third morning in a row, Sam Carter woke up with her face smushed - yes, smushed was the technical name for it - on her desk. She carefully pulled a yellow sticky note from her face and scrubbed at her cheek absently. She supposed she ought to be thankful it had been her desk and not the keyboard.
Bracing herself for the worst, she glanced at her watch. Half six.
Sam made a face; she had no life.
Coffee. Coffee would make this all better.
It was an automatic, unthinking response - she swung by Daniel's office out of habit, vaguely thinking that he'd probably be around and they could discuss how lame their social lives were over a commissary table. She didn't realise her mistake until she was staring at the closed door of what used to be his office.
She got an emotional punch in the gut - a fraction of the grief she'd thought had dulled to a steady feeling that she had carried with her after his death. Or his ascension. Whatever. He was just gone, that was all she knew. Which was basically the same thing.
Sam knew grief well, all too well, in fact, and knew it was a sneaky emotion, lulling you into a false sense of security until your defences were low and you forgot just for one happy moment....
Taking a step back, Sam distanced herself from his office, then forced herself to turn away and walk towards the commissary, alone. It wasn't the same. Her cup of coffee sat untouched on the corner table she'd selected, away from everyone else. If Daniel had been there they would have talked about what they'd been working on. They'd ask each other pertinent questions, even though their fields of expertise were practically incomprehensible to each other. But at least they'd try - because that was what friends did.
Soon, the topic would have drifted to their latest world, the mishaps, the interesting experiences, then maybe onto the escapades of the other SG teams. After that they'd talk about rumours. Who was dating who, who was new, who was transferring and why. This inevitably led to a discussion about how tragic it was that their lack of lives led to such an interest in other peoples.
Sam finally sipped her coffee, and leaned back, watching new early morning arrivals - a fresh faced group, no doubt one of the newly formed SG teams. They looked so young, she thought, shaking her head. She wondered, had she known six years ago, what was in store for her at the SGC, would she have stayed? The intellect in her said yes - think of how she was fighting for her country, think of the Noble Prize Winning discoveries, the new technology, the excitement...
Think of the isolation, her dependence on SG-1, the sleepless nights, the unfriendly aliens, the constant threat of Goa'uld attack, the lack of all the normal career comforts. Relationships. Romance. Love. Marriage. Children. Informality.
She was really feeling the negatives now. Perhaps because she could no longer talk about it with someone. Teal'c was devoted to the cause and Colonel O'Neill? That line was already wobbly enough without her jumping on it. She and the colonel had too much subtext to be friends like she and Daniel had been.
Sam finished her coffee and stood up. Might as well wonder down to command, see who was off world, bother Siler (though, bless him, he never complained).
****
'' Ah, Colonel, good morning.'' General Hammond gestured to one of the chairs in front of his perfectly ordered desk.
Jack sat and raised his eyebrows at his CO. '' General?''
'' How are things, Jack?''
Oh, boy, as Cater would say. First the decidedly personal question, then the 'Jack'. Something was up.
'' 'Things' are fine,'' Jack responded with just enough levity in his voice to suggest he thought the question was unnecessary.
General Hammond allowed himself to smile, as if he'd expected exactly that response. '' How is Jonas fitting in to SG-1?''
'' Apart from his disgusting cheerfulness - just fine. He and Teal'c have... bonded. Carter treats him like a little brother, pretty much the way she treated Dr Jackson.''
'' And you?''
'' He's better than a Russian,'' was all Jack could say on the subject.
Hammond nodded sagely and Jack had a feeling he was about to be hit with the real reason the general had summoned him. '' Dr Jackson has left a void behind in SG-1.''
'' I would say in the SGC, sir.''
'' Indeed. A loss felt most particularly by yourself and Major Carter.''
Jack squelched down all grief related feelings as hard as he possibly could. '' Yes, sir.'' He was pleased with his steady tone.
'' I was wondering if you'd spoken to Major Carter about it?''
Spoken to her? Carter? Sam? About Daniel? Did he realise how painful that would be? It wasn't as if he and Carter would risk talking about emotional issues. They were both so firmly clamped up in that department - military mind set and all.
General Hammond continued as if he hadn't required a response. '' It probably hasn't escaped your notice that she'd been spending a lot of time on base.''
'' She's always been a work-a-holic.'' Though that wasn't strictly true. It was just that either something had to be done fast to save the world or she'd get so excited by a project that she'd lose all sense of time. She genuinely loved what she did.
'' She has also slept here the past three nights.''
OK. That was a little excessive, even for Carter. And as her CO he probably should have known she was sleeping here, which would be why General Hammond had called him in.
'' Have you mentioned this to Dr Fraiser?''
'' Actually, Dr Fraiser suggested I talk to you, and I agree. SG-1 needs to mend itself.''
Jack felt a major headache coming on. He couldn't believe the doc had bailed on him like that! She and Carter were friends, weren't they? How come she couldn't talk to Carter? Why was this being left to him? Christ - things with Carter were tense enough as it was. They'd just managed to scramble up from the emotional wringer of zay'tarc testing, mind stamping, computer entities and reach a sort of appropriately distant daily manner when this was being thrown at him! If they started talking about Daniel where would things lead?
But, obviously, while he was thinking all these things, his face remained impassive. It was the training. '' I'll see what I can do, sir.''
'' That's all I'm asking, son,'' the general said gently. The red phone started ringing on his desk and they both looked at it.
'' I'll ah, be leaving now,'' Jack managed.
'' Briefing at 1000 hours.''
'' Yessir.''
Jack decided the best thing to do would be to get this deal over and done with as quickly as possible. Hopefully, she would put him out of his misery before he'd resort to breaking one of her doohickeys.
He swung by her lab and there she was, perched on a lab stood. Her hair was wet and slicked back from her face - man, she looked good with wet hair. She looked good wet all over....
He stifled his increasingly dirty train of thought by speaking, '' Carter?''
Sam put down whatever it was she was looking at and smiled at him. '' Sir? Can I help you?''
See, this was why he and Carter shouldn't talk. If anyone else had turned up, Daniel, Teal'c, Jonas, she'd probably chat to them. They wouldn't need a reason to see her. They could drop by just to look at her, see her smile, smell her hair... There it went again! Mind in gutter.
'' How are...'' He couldn't believe he was saying this '' ... things?''
Carter's eyes widened. '' Things are fine, sir.''
Suddenly Jack found himself in the same position as the General. He'd wanted 'things' to be fine but there was no way that they were.
'' You've slept here a couple of times this week.''
Carter winced, then covered quickly. '' Oh. That. Yeah, well, it wasn't intentional. I just kinda.. fell asleep.''
That was... good, he supposed. Now what did he do? Just come out with it, ask her if she missed Daniel? Of course she missed Daniel. He'd been her best friend. They talked about non-related SGC stuff. Books, movies, art. Who was she supposed to... uh oh.
Maybe, just maybe, he'd hit on the problem.
'' Sir?''
He realised he'd said the 'uh oh' out loud.
Sam laughed. '' All right, Sir, who sent you? Janet or General Hammond?''
Way too smart for her own good. He picked up something metallic and oily from a plastic container on the bench and nervously moved it from hand to hand. '' Dr Fraiser by way of General Hammond,'' he admitted sheepishly.
'' Poor you.''
He smiled. '' He talked about mending the void.''
She was quiet for a little while. Not upset quiet but thoughtful quiet. '' I'm not sure it can be mended.''
'' See? That's what I think. I think we should leave the void well alone.''
'' I agree, sir.'' She looked from his face to the doohickey in his hands. She grinned suddenly and Jack wondered what the hell he was holding that made her smile that devious. It was a really attractive look, actually. Made him think of... well, that was obvious.
'' Okay, tell me what it is,'' he said in resigned tones.
She giggled. '' No, sir.''
'' Come on, Carter, I can take it.''
'' Respectfully, no, you can't, sir.''
Carter had a glint in her eyes. He couldn't help thinking that she must have broken a few hearts as a teenager. '' Please, sir, put it back on the table.''
'' Major, I order you to tell me what it is.''
She bit her lip and tried manfully to stop smiling. '' I don't know what it is, sir.''
'' Then what's with the giggle?''
'' It's not what it is, per say, it's where it's from.''
He was lost. Not entirely unusual. '' Huh?''
'' P3X 985, sir.''
She was winding him up. Time for a little colonel commanding tone - '' Carter...''
'' The planet with the reptiles.''
'' The dinosaurs?''
'' Reptiles, sir.''
He rolled his eyes, turning the doohickey around in his hands some more. Probably he oughta put it down, but he was kinda having fun. '' Big scaly monsters. Dinosaurs. What about it?''
'' I found that there.''
'' So?''
'' That came out of one of the reptiles.''
Jack closed his eyes.
She continued. '' That black stuff you're probably thinking is oil... isn't.''
The room was silent for a moment.
Then, '' Major?''
'' Sir?''
'' Take it off me.''
'' Sir, yes, sir!'' She was barely restraining her giggles.
'' What have I told you about giggling, Major?''
'' Sorry, sir, no giggling.'' There was the sound of latex gloves being snapped on, then the disgusting doohickey was removed his hands. A moment later, something wet and antiseptic smelling was wiping at his hands.
Jack decided it would be okay to open his eyes. He began, barely, to see the humour in the situation. '' Never tell anyone about this, Carter.''
'' No, sir.''
'' Not even at the Christmas Party.''
'' No, sir.''
He realised he could probably clean his hands himself, but he was kinda enjoying letting her do it. '' You know, I'm sure there have been more revolting things in my life, I just can't think of any.''
Sam bit her lip harder. '' If you hang around another minute or two, you'll get to see one of the revolting things I have to do with.''
'' What's that?''
'' McKay.''
Jack grinned. '' Rumour has it that he has a thing for you.''
'' In a perverse, insulting, strangely fascinating way, he does.''
So long as she wasn't interested, it was fine by him. '' How's Simmons by the way?''
She was almost blushing. '' You knew about that?''
'' Oh, come on, he used to swoon when you walked past him.''
Carter laughed. '' I remember once, when Daniel and I...'' She faltered and trailed off. '' All done, sir.''
Jack decided it would be kinder to her, and to him, if he changed the subject. '' I think maybe Simmons has grown up some.''
'' Last I heard he had a girlfriend.''
'' Tall, blonde, bubbly?''
Carter narrowed her eyes dangerously. A shiver ran down his spine in delight. '' Bubbly, sir?''
'' Would you prefer chirpy?''
The eyes became slits. Damn, but he was enjoying himself. '' Chipper? No? Overexcited? Hyperactive? Ah, Carter, you know assaulting a senior officer is a Court Marshalling offence.''
'' I'm sure they'd make an exception, seeing as it's you.'' Long pause. '' Sir.''
Jack's mouth dropped open in a pretence of shock. '' Me? But I'm a model officer, Carter. Always by the book.'' He grinned at her expression. '' What would you do without me, Carter?''
'' I'd probably be able to get some work done.'' She paused again. '' Sir.''
'' Nice save, Carter.''
'' I try.''
He laughed and stuck his hands in his pockets, feeling quite pleased with himself. '' All right, Major, I'll leave you to your..'' He sought for the right word.
'' Doohickeys, sir?''
There was that damn giggle. It conjured up all sorts of inappropriate thoughts in his mind. '' That's it. Doohickeys. See ya in the briefing.''
'' Yes, sir.''
He almost, almost, whistled as he walked down the corridor.
Chapter One
For the third morning in a row, Sam Carter woke up with her face smushed - yes, smushed was the technical name for it - on her desk. She carefully pulled a yellow sticky note from her face and scrubbed at her cheek absently. She supposed she ought to be thankful it had been her desk and not the keyboard.
Bracing herself for the worst, she glanced at her watch. Half six.
Sam made a face; she had no life.
Coffee. Coffee would make this all better.
It was an automatic, unthinking response - she swung by Daniel's office out of habit, vaguely thinking that he'd probably be around and they could discuss how lame their social lives were over a commissary table. She didn't realise her mistake until she was staring at the closed door of what used to be his office.
She got an emotional punch in the gut - a fraction of the grief she'd thought had dulled to a steady feeling that she had carried with her after his death. Or his ascension. Whatever. He was just gone, that was all she knew. Which was basically the same thing.
Sam knew grief well, all too well, in fact, and knew it was a sneaky emotion, lulling you into a false sense of security until your defences were low and you forgot just for one happy moment....
Taking a step back, Sam distanced herself from his office, then forced herself to turn away and walk towards the commissary, alone. It wasn't the same. Her cup of coffee sat untouched on the corner table she'd selected, away from everyone else. If Daniel had been there they would have talked about what they'd been working on. They'd ask each other pertinent questions, even though their fields of expertise were practically incomprehensible to each other. But at least they'd try - because that was what friends did.
Soon, the topic would have drifted to their latest world, the mishaps, the interesting experiences, then maybe onto the escapades of the other SG teams. After that they'd talk about rumours. Who was dating who, who was new, who was transferring and why. This inevitably led to a discussion about how tragic it was that their lack of lives led to such an interest in other peoples.
Sam finally sipped her coffee, and leaned back, watching new early morning arrivals - a fresh faced group, no doubt one of the newly formed SG teams. They looked so young, she thought, shaking her head. She wondered, had she known six years ago, what was in store for her at the SGC, would she have stayed? The intellect in her said yes - think of how she was fighting for her country, think of the Noble Prize Winning discoveries, the new technology, the excitement...
Think of the isolation, her dependence on SG-1, the sleepless nights, the unfriendly aliens, the constant threat of Goa'uld attack, the lack of all the normal career comforts. Relationships. Romance. Love. Marriage. Children. Informality.
She was really feeling the negatives now. Perhaps because she could no longer talk about it with someone. Teal'c was devoted to the cause and Colonel O'Neill? That line was already wobbly enough without her jumping on it. She and the colonel had too much subtext to be friends like she and Daniel had been.
Sam finished her coffee and stood up. Might as well wonder down to command, see who was off world, bother Siler (though, bless him, he never complained).
****
'' Ah, Colonel, good morning.'' General Hammond gestured to one of the chairs in front of his perfectly ordered desk.
Jack sat and raised his eyebrows at his CO. '' General?''
'' How are things, Jack?''
Oh, boy, as Cater would say. First the decidedly personal question, then the 'Jack'. Something was up.
'' 'Things' are fine,'' Jack responded with just enough levity in his voice to suggest he thought the question was unnecessary.
General Hammond allowed himself to smile, as if he'd expected exactly that response. '' How is Jonas fitting in to SG-1?''
'' Apart from his disgusting cheerfulness - just fine. He and Teal'c have... bonded. Carter treats him like a little brother, pretty much the way she treated Dr Jackson.''
'' And you?''
'' He's better than a Russian,'' was all Jack could say on the subject.
Hammond nodded sagely and Jack had a feeling he was about to be hit with the real reason the general had summoned him. '' Dr Jackson has left a void behind in SG-1.''
'' I would say in the SGC, sir.''
'' Indeed. A loss felt most particularly by yourself and Major Carter.''
Jack squelched down all grief related feelings as hard as he possibly could. '' Yes, sir.'' He was pleased with his steady tone.
'' I was wondering if you'd spoken to Major Carter about it?''
Spoken to her? Carter? Sam? About Daniel? Did he realise how painful that would be? It wasn't as if he and Carter would risk talking about emotional issues. They were both so firmly clamped up in that department - military mind set and all.
General Hammond continued as if he hadn't required a response. '' It probably hasn't escaped your notice that she'd been spending a lot of time on base.''
'' She's always been a work-a-holic.'' Though that wasn't strictly true. It was just that either something had to be done fast to save the world or she'd get so excited by a project that she'd lose all sense of time. She genuinely loved what she did.
'' She has also slept here the past three nights.''
OK. That was a little excessive, even for Carter. And as her CO he probably should have known she was sleeping here, which would be why General Hammond had called him in.
'' Have you mentioned this to Dr Fraiser?''
'' Actually, Dr Fraiser suggested I talk to you, and I agree. SG-1 needs to mend itself.''
Jack felt a major headache coming on. He couldn't believe the doc had bailed on him like that! She and Carter were friends, weren't they? How come she couldn't talk to Carter? Why was this being left to him? Christ - things with Carter were tense enough as it was. They'd just managed to scramble up from the emotional wringer of zay'tarc testing, mind stamping, computer entities and reach a sort of appropriately distant daily manner when this was being thrown at him! If they started talking about Daniel where would things lead?
But, obviously, while he was thinking all these things, his face remained impassive. It was the training. '' I'll see what I can do, sir.''
'' That's all I'm asking, son,'' the general said gently. The red phone started ringing on his desk and they both looked at it.
'' I'll ah, be leaving now,'' Jack managed.
'' Briefing at 1000 hours.''
'' Yessir.''
Jack decided the best thing to do would be to get this deal over and done with as quickly as possible. Hopefully, she would put him out of his misery before he'd resort to breaking one of her doohickeys.
He swung by her lab and there she was, perched on a lab stood. Her hair was wet and slicked back from her face - man, she looked good with wet hair. She looked good wet all over....
He stifled his increasingly dirty train of thought by speaking, '' Carter?''
Sam put down whatever it was she was looking at and smiled at him. '' Sir? Can I help you?''
See, this was why he and Carter shouldn't talk. If anyone else had turned up, Daniel, Teal'c, Jonas, she'd probably chat to them. They wouldn't need a reason to see her. They could drop by just to look at her, see her smile, smell her hair... There it went again! Mind in gutter.
'' How are...'' He couldn't believe he was saying this '' ... things?''
Carter's eyes widened. '' Things are fine, sir.''
Suddenly Jack found himself in the same position as the General. He'd wanted 'things' to be fine but there was no way that they were.
'' You've slept here a couple of times this week.''
Carter winced, then covered quickly. '' Oh. That. Yeah, well, it wasn't intentional. I just kinda.. fell asleep.''
That was... good, he supposed. Now what did he do? Just come out with it, ask her if she missed Daniel? Of course she missed Daniel. He'd been her best friend. They talked about non-related SGC stuff. Books, movies, art. Who was she supposed to... uh oh.
Maybe, just maybe, he'd hit on the problem.
'' Sir?''
He realised he'd said the 'uh oh' out loud.
Sam laughed. '' All right, Sir, who sent you? Janet or General Hammond?''
Way too smart for her own good. He picked up something metallic and oily from a plastic container on the bench and nervously moved it from hand to hand. '' Dr Fraiser by way of General Hammond,'' he admitted sheepishly.
'' Poor you.''
He smiled. '' He talked about mending the void.''
She was quiet for a little while. Not upset quiet but thoughtful quiet. '' I'm not sure it can be mended.''
'' See? That's what I think. I think we should leave the void well alone.''
'' I agree, sir.'' She looked from his face to the doohickey in his hands. She grinned suddenly and Jack wondered what the hell he was holding that made her smile that devious. It was a really attractive look, actually. Made him think of... well, that was obvious.
'' Okay, tell me what it is,'' he said in resigned tones.
She giggled. '' No, sir.''
'' Come on, Carter, I can take it.''
'' Respectfully, no, you can't, sir.''
Carter had a glint in her eyes. He couldn't help thinking that she must have broken a few hearts as a teenager. '' Please, sir, put it back on the table.''
'' Major, I order you to tell me what it is.''
She bit her lip and tried manfully to stop smiling. '' I don't know what it is, sir.''
'' Then what's with the giggle?''
'' It's not what it is, per say, it's where it's from.''
He was lost. Not entirely unusual. '' Huh?''
'' P3X 985, sir.''
She was winding him up. Time for a little colonel commanding tone - '' Carter...''
'' The planet with the reptiles.''
'' The dinosaurs?''
'' Reptiles, sir.''
He rolled his eyes, turning the doohickey around in his hands some more. Probably he oughta put it down, but he was kinda having fun. '' Big scaly monsters. Dinosaurs. What about it?''
'' I found that there.''
'' So?''
'' That came out of one of the reptiles.''
Jack closed his eyes.
She continued. '' That black stuff you're probably thinking is oil... isn't.''
The room was silent for a moment.
Then, '' Major?''
'' Sir?''
'' Take it off me.''
'' Sir, yes, sir!'' She was barely restraining her giggles.
'' What have I told you about giggling, Major?''
'' Sorry, sir, no giggling.'' There was the sound of latex gloves being snapped on, then the disgusting doohickey was removed his hands. A moment later, something wet and antiseptic smelling was wiping at his hands.
Jack decided it would be okay to open his eyes. He began, barely, to see the humour in the situation. '' Never tell anyone about this, Carter.''
'' No, sir.''
'' Not even at the Christmas Party.''
'' No, sir.''
He realised he could probably clean his hands himself, but he was kinda enjoying letting her do it. '' You know, I'm sure there have been more revolting things in my life, I just can't think of any.''
Sam bit her lip harder. '' If you hang around another minute or two, you'll get to see one of the revolting things I have to do with.''
'' What's that?''
'' McKay.''
Jack grinned. '' Rumour has it that he has a thing for you.''
'' In a perverse, insulting, strangely fascinating way, he does.''
So long as she wasn't interested, it was fine by him. '' How's Simmons by the way?''
She was almost blushing. '' You knew about that?''
'' Oh, come on, he used to swoon when you walked past him.''
Carter laughed. '' I remember once, when Daniel and I...'' She faltered and trailed off. '' All done, sir.''
Jack decided it would be kinder to her, and to him, if he changed the subject. '' I think maybe Simmons has grown up some.''
'' Last I heard he had a girlfriend.''
'' Tall, blonde, bubbly?''
Carter narrowed her eyes dangerously. A shiver ran down his spine in delight. '' Bubbly, sir?''
'' Would you prefer chirpy?''
The eyes became slits. Damn, but he was enjoying himself. '' Chipper? No? Overexcited? Hyperactive? Ah, Carter, you know assaulting a senior officer is a Court Marshalling offence.''
'' I'm sure they'd make an exception, seeing as it's you.'' Long pause. '' Sir.''
Jack's mouth dropped open in a pretence of shock. '' Me? But I'm a model officer, Carter. Always by the book.'' He grinned at her expression. '' What would you do without me, Carter?''
'' I'd probably be able to get some work done.'' She paused again. '' Sir.''
'' Nice save, Carter.''
'' I try.''
He laughed and stuck his hands in his pockets, feeling quite pleased with himself. '' All right, Major, I'll leave you to your..'' He sought for the right word.
'' Doohickeys, sir?''
There was that damn giggle. It conjured up all sorts of inappropriate thoughts in his mind. '' That's it. Doohickeys. See ya in the briefing.''
'' Yes, sir.''
He almost, almost, whistled as he walked down the corridor.