→ PRESS START
I exist.
My sudden existence startles me.
There isn't, and then there is. Two distinct moments, one in which I am, one in which I was not.
Origin. Original. I am conscious of my own consciousness.
I try to lift my head, to raise my arms, but there is a distinct lack of response. I suddenly am aware that I am not what I expected to be. I feel as though I should have arms to raise and a head to lift, yet there is not anything where it should be. I do not exist in that way.
But I do exist, I'm certain.
I… have no body.
Startling. To say the least.
I feel like I should have one of those, and I'm confused for several reasons. Firstly, I cannot remember ever really having a body, but I know what one is like. Just as I cannot remember what color the hair would be, or if I had hair, or if I had legs. But I know the concept of "body" and I definitely should have one.
Everything is fuzzy. I am strangely weightless, in a literal sense. And weightless in a metaphorical sense as well, I think. Everything is not fuzzy, I decide, because everything is actually crystal clear with jagged glass edges and it is all a puzzle jumble that doesn't make a tableau because everything is really just concepts. Like body, like hair, like leg. I don't really know what they mean, in the sense that I cannot picture what they are or say what they are like. I know what they are but they are just precise meanings.
They are words. I am a dictionary but there are no accompanying pictures.
There is nothing real and I merely exist. I am just, something. Where once there was nothing. I exist, as all things do. And I don't, as all things don't.
I exist in a box. Or maybe it is a room. It extends for a time, some measure of it I cannot quantify because it is appears to be an eternity, and yet I can see walls rising forever upward to the sky. Or roof. Or, the top of the box?
Whatever it is, I cannot perceive it. Or perhaps, I cannot conceptualize it. It can perhaps, be defined in qualifiers. I cannot say precisely what it is, but I can talk around it and form an image of it. Instead of something else, it is inky blackness. I know what that is. I can see it with my own…
My own?
Well, I conceive of it. And it is conceived above me, by something that is not me, because I was conceived into it. Does it exist in the way that I do, defined by what it is not? It is not emptiness because that is what I am not now. And though I do not know what I am, I do know what I am not.
There is a pulsating light, a brilliant green. It flows through the room (box?) in grids of lines, straight or curving or something else. There is no rhyme or rhythm to its motion it just pulses, endlessly, like a beating heart. It goes up, up, up, into the darkness, fading before it ever reaches the end. If there is an end. Can something be infinite?
Is it alive?
Am I alive?
I exist.
Is that enough?
→ PRESS START
It's not a voice. It is not a physical thing like a language. It's a thought, but it isn't my own. It is words. Everything I know is words.
I know what these words mean, but I do not comprehend.
Press [ start ]?
And everything I know explodes.
Or, it doesn't. But it might as well have, because I am reeling. There is so much now, things like colors and sounds that I didn't know before but for their names and now they are and I am and it is almost too much for me to understand. The world is abruptly white, brightly so, and it is very different from the green and black that was before. There is no longer infinity. There is confinement, boundaries that I cannot see because it is all white.
But I know boundaries now, intimately. It is a void of white, a prison of knowable dimensions, and I long for the unknowable infinity that I had once been in. If I could walk, if I had a body, I could find a wall, I knew. And I would be stuck there, following a wall around and around.
There is nothing here.
Except for what is here.
One, me. I still exist.
Two, glowing words in the center of the horridly definite white box, flaming in a muted rainbow and rippling as if in some localized breeze. And a sound, or several. Music?
game GIRL revolution !
WAKE UP PLUG IN™
How interesting. This is language. Written language. I know it better now. Below these giant words were smaller ones in a more sedate, purple-pink.
→ options
→ new game
The last line was dull and slightly blurred. I could barely make out the words, [ load game ].
A text flashed next to the option: No saved data available.
I know data, just as I know girl and revolution. Information, especially programmable information as in a computational device. And I knew there was apparently none of that. It was, again, it was like…like data (I felt a thrill of triumph at being able to apply the concept. My understanding was increasing, it seemed.) without any legend or key to identify the disparate parts.
My focus on the text, seemed to produce effects. The environment had changed when I had thought "start", and the text responded when I focused on the bottom line. Would the other lines produce different effects? It seemed likely. There was no information that refuted my hypothesis.
Was it possible that this white prison could be something else? Would it be something better? Or something worse? I didn't like this confinement, I found. I preferred the comforting darkness and gentle pulsing of the world that was before. If the words changed everything once again, would I dislike the new information even more than the current set?
Then again, logic stated that the environment I encountered would likely be something new, as well. And I could not form a judgement on something I did not understand, or even know, or even conceive of.
This awful, tiny white box seemed to press in on me. The walls, so well defined and yet completely invisible, giving the illusion of infinity like a lie through stark white teeth. It was threatening. Or, it was not, because it was not sentient and had no intent. But it provoked a response in me as though I was being threatened.
Is this…fear?
No.
I didn't want to be here.
What would [ new game ] do?
The white seethed. Or perhaps it seeped? Inky blackness bubbled up in the space, in geometric shapes along the walls, massing up and slipping down through the box, covering one wall, and another, and what could be the floor though it might have been the ceiling or perhaps was just a wall as well. It had mass. It was in a way that I was not.
I tingled. I don't know what that meant, but it was happening. The white was disappearing, swallowed up and it was black, black all around. The holes in the white, or the masses of black, merged and they grew and it seeped towards me.
The space shrunk, the white shrunk. I was being swallowed up. I was plunged into darkness. Into matter, into mass. Things that exist.
I couldn't…breathe? Was I supposed to breathe?
I was surrounded, consumed, I was in a way I was not before and I didn't understand and there was something and I just couldn't breathe I couldn't couldn't I couldn't
Breathe.
I drew in precious, precious air, my lungs expanding gratefully in hot, humid atmosphere. I could feel water condensing on my skin, or maybe it was my skin squeezing out water, trying to cool me in the heat of the blazing sun pelting me in unrelenting radiation.
I opened my eyes, and there was a gorgeous blue, ringed in flecks of green in perspective with one anther, so many specks so condensed that they were massive all together.
The sky. The trees. I let out a shuddering breath. And another.
I raised my arms and they responded, reaching above me towards that great, eternal blue. There were hands on the end of those arms. Small, pudgy fingered hands with dirty, short nails. The fingers twitched and moved, groping for the blue above them like it was something they could hold.
I laughed. I don't know why. I did it.
The game GIRL revolution ! game matrix has been activated.
Welcome! You've taken your first steps in a whole new reality! A SuperReality! As a Player Character (PC), or Player, you'll interact with the world through the matrix, learning and growing as you conquer challenges and make friends! It's real life, but its YOUR dream!
I drew in another breath. The words came to me as they had before, like concepts, merely engraved into my understanding. Something I hadn't known before that was now revealed to me. If I was lazy about it, it looked like words hanging in the air above me, but when I focused I knew it wasn't really out there, where my fingers held the sky between them.
It was something inside my head.
I don't quite understand these words, because they are all new things and they have no more context than any of the other concepts I have. There is a wealth of experience before me now. I have already had so much of it. Water, salt, hair, body, blinking, trees and sky. I think the sky was most impressive for its sheer enormity.
There was so much to learn. I hadn't even turned my head yet and I felt overwhelmed.
Are you a new Player? Y/N?
I'm a new everything, I thought. [ Yes ].
Would you to take a short tour of the matrix features? Y/N?
I blinked. More strings of words, concepts to internalize. Well, my metaphorical first steps had already been taken. A pattern deserved to be played into existence, or else it was only hypothetical. Being hypothetical was difficult. [ Yes ].
game GIRL revolution ! has a unique, ergonomic matrix optimized for easy utilization and integration. The matrix is always active, but you can interact with it through [Menus]. A useful menu is the [Status Menu]! Try it!
[ Status Menu ], I obliged.
A disk appeared, floating in the corner of my vision in a similar manner to the matrix's words. There was a face in the disk, and a neck and a pair of shoulders below it. I could see that it was a ring with little colorful beads along it's outer edge and two protruding bars in green and blue. Focusing on the disk brought it to the forefront of my vision, and I felt a curious coldness settle through my body.
The [Status Menu] can be viewed during gameplay to check your stats on the go, but in depth perusal "pauses" gameplay by speeding mental cognition to allow you time to do what you please. Obviously, your body doesn't experience a similar acceleration.
It was unsettling that I couldn't move anymore. It wasn't similar to the box at all, because I could still feel my body, and everything that my body was feeling, but it wouldn't react. Rather, the signal I sent it did not reach it at all.
Focus on the different parts of the [Status Menu] to get an idea for its use!
I focused on the face, wondering what it was. Or, who it was. Perhaps that was the better question.
The disk closed up, but the face grew. The shoulders extended downward, revealing a slender form clothed in a white, tattered dress, ending in skinny legs and bare, dusty feet. The body centered in my vision, and the disk hovered to the side.
This is you! Aren't you adorable?
I didn't know if I could agree. It was a face. Well, it was a body, now, as well. It had short, white hair and strangely colorless eyes. Or were they silver? I wasn't sure. What was adorable? Something soft? Was it a color, or a texture, or a shape? Did I have a combination of those that made me adorable?
Was that really…me?
There was a little box next to the body, it read:
Level 1, Name: ?, Age: 8, Gender: ?, Status: Healthy.
How interesting. Why were the name and gender merely question marks? Was it a secret?
Maybe I didn't have a name or gender.
Right now, you're pretty puny! But you can add armor, weapons, and effects to increase your stats and even change your appearance. You'll grow as you level, of course!
Let's check your statistics next. Focus on the disk, and then on a bead or a bar.
I flicked my attention to the disk and it spiraled back to the center, swallowing up the person until they were once again just a head. I focused on the first feature from the top, a green bar.
These are your [Health Points] or [HP]. The bar shows how many points you have out of how many you are able to have. This number will change as you [Level Up]. You lose points when you are injured or affected by a detrimental, physical status effect. If your counter hits zero, you'll die! 150/150
Die? Death, I thought. And then, I thought, death, murder, assassination, kill, off, bite the dust…On and on. I knew. I knew what that was. But I didn't know. I didn't have any idea. It seemed like it was something bad…but it could also be something good. It just was.
Like me. I just was.
I followed the progression of features. The blue bar below my HP was smaller.
This is your energy! In this case, it's internal chakra, counted in [Chakra Points] or [CP]! You can access other energies in gameplay! This is a measure of how much chakra you have and how much total you are able to have. This is tied to your physical and mental well being. If this counter hits zero, you'll be severely hampered. If left untreated, you could die! 50/50
There are a lot of ways to die, I thought.
I let my eyes wander over the beads. They each had a specific color and a little icon within them that hinted to their purpose.
These beads are Attributes! Attributes are predetermined physical and mental characteristics assessed as levels, which are denoted by the number to the side. A certain level in a certain category may be required to learn certain skills or perform well in certain conditions.
These categories are broad and reflect dozens or even hundreds of subcategories regarding the intricacies of the sapient mind and the body. You can "level" certain subcategories without raising the overall Attribute, but raising the Attribute will level ALL categories contained within.
For instance, you can raise your Defense to a high level without raising your Strength, but raising your strength will raise your defense, along with your agility and your dexterity.
Understand?
Sure, I thought. Maybe. None of it was real, but none of it was unknown either.
I focused on each little bead in turn, and the matrix named their Attributes.
The little green plus sign was Character: this represents your ability to interact with the world around you and covers subcategories such as expression, luck, and charisma. 1 (Unusually bad at emoting and interacting. A high intelligence score can help you bring this number up!)
Only one? It seemed so low compared to the HP and CP bars I'd checked before. Even the matrix said it was "unusually bad".
The yellow cartoon fist was apparently Strength: your physical abilities. This covers subcategories such as defense, dexterity, and agility. 23
Next was a red "X", which showed my Precision: a measure of efficiency that covers chakra control, targeting, and time management. 10
The last two, a blue hammer and a purple arrow, were respectively Willpower: a measure of determination and spirit. Far more important than most realize! 18 and Intelligence: your mental abilities, including cognitive function, puzzle solving, and wisdom. 28
So the 1 really was a low value, compared with the other Attributes. It couldn't be normal. The matrix said it was unusual. So why was it like that?
When no more information was forthcoming, I looked away from the disk. The world refocused, and I breathed once more.
Congratulations on getting through all that! You've earned a skill! [Inspect] will allow you to examine objects or beings more closely.
A skill? An ability. It couldn't just mean any ability, could it? Was there some threshold between normal actions, like breathing and moving my arms, and something like Inspect?
As if sensing my querying, the matrix responded: A skill is a learned ability in a predefined area. Skills can be learned or created using earned Experience Points (EXP), and some require certain traits or Attribute levels. Skills can be unlocked by coming into contact with situations, people, or objects. These can be upgraded through continual practice and usage. They can be leveled with the [Points] earned after you [Level Up] as well! There are some limitations to leveling.
But apparently the matrix was not going to be forthcoming with those limitations, because it didn't continue.
So I could use these abilities through the matrix. Did it work like it had before? When I just thought, with clarity, to "start" or begin a "new game". Could I just [ Inspect ]?
My eyes were still trained on the sky.
A cloudless day and a vast blue sky. Isn't it unsettling to stare into the void?
I blinked. Maybe, a little. There was so much nothingness, just endless color. It made me wonder if it really extended upwards or if that was a blue ceiling painted above me. It reminded my of the inky blackness of the box, except I wasn't sure there was anything up there, really. There was a sense of disconnection that had not existed in the grid.
Like I was more confined, now that I existed in this little body.
I rolled onto my side, tearing my gaze from the sky.
All around me, there were tall vibrant trees, rising like steady sentinels of the forest. My hand landed on spongy grass and earth. I dug my fingers into the dirt, just to feel it slide across my skin. I put my other hand to the earth and pushed myself away from it.
I stood.
The wind caught my dress, sending it rippling across my legs. In nearly every direction, there was an impenetrable wall of trees. The clearing I was in ended at a drop-off. I stepped towards the trees.
Then, thinking again, I went towards the cliff.
No, I spun in a circle. Unsure, uncertain.
Where was I? Did it have a name? Were there other sentient creatures here, or was I the only one?
Was I…was I alive, now that I drew in breath after breathe and felt the blood pumping in my veins?
I existed in a way I hadn't before. I existed. I hadn't before. Not really, if this was anything to go by.
What was I? Was I like the inky blackness in the box, was I only defined by what I was not? By characteristics that could be attributed to me, which traced a pattern around me but didn't reach inside to the very heart of what I was?
Was I real in a way that the air was real, or was I a bundle of conceptual knowledge, like a theoretical formula with no application? Was I merely hypothetical? Was I perhaps a creation that was to act out the role of a Player? Was that my purpose?
Would it matter if I completed that purpose?
Was there a point in all this?
I had so many questions. There was so much more than the concepts that were within me. I couldn't fit these jagged edges together to form a coherent whole and I was left fumbling in nothingness. I brought my hands together and stared at them, opening and closing them. It felt. And that feeling seemed real. But it also didn't. Because I wasn't sure.
What was real? I didn't know what that was.
Just another concept. Like the words. Like the matrix. Like me. Like death.
A cessation of a living state. The end of bodily processes continuing life.
Could I die? I'd have to be alive to do it.
If I could, did it really matter?
If I could…
Would it hurt?
My eyes drifted to the drop-off. I found myself standing and ambling over to it. I tested the edge with my toes, pressing experimentally. The dirt at the edge crumbled slightly under the weight of my naked foot. I stepped back, leaned forward, took in the empty riverbed at the bottom of the drop-off.
I knew, strangely, in the way I was aware of many other things, that a fall from such a height had a high probability of killing me. If indeed, I was alive enough to be killed.
Would it even hurt?
I could test it. I didn't see why not.
I stepped off.
→ PAUSE
Level 1, Name: ?, Age: 8, Gender: ?, Status: Mortally Injured.
Character 1
Strength 23
Precision 10
Willpower 18
Intelligence 28
[minor rewrites]