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(O.O)

Darla

Extreme satisfaction. It was what I felt as I, along with my grandchilders, destroyed what remained of the gypsy clan that had taken my most beloved childe from me.

It was quite different from the contentment I'd been feeling a week earlier, when I had been lodging, along with my small vampire family, in a newly abandoned cottage on the outskirts of town. Abandoned, but only after we'd dined on its previous occupants. However, I concerned myself not with such miniscule details. What I had cared about was the dreadful feeling I had when my most beloved childe yet to return from his hunting after nearly a week. I usually was not one to worry about such things, for I knew my Angelus could take care of himself, and most of the time he had reasons for not returning immediately to my side. The last time had been when he made Drusilla. He had been gone for nearly five months during that time, spending nearly half a year to create his masterpiece. I had merely let him be, and found myself other entertainment until the he returned to me. This time was different. I felt oddly worried, both for my childe, and for the reason of his prolonged absence. I would have gone to search for him if had it not for the other two vampires that I had been forced to watch over.

Angelus' two childers: Drusilla and William.

William was not technically Angelus', but had been created by Dru. My childe had been the one to pick up the slack from Drusilla when her mind had been too broken to teach her new toy our ways. Now, as I was saying, the pair of them simply cannot be left by themselves, which was why I had been forced into the role of nursemaid. Drusilla was insane, and William but a mere fledgling. True, they can handle themselves in battle when necessary, but I knew that if they were left to their own devices, they'd bring the whole village down upon our heads. They were trouble. Especially William.

The brat was arrogant, extremely impulsive, and ignorant to the ways of the world. He had a tendency to bring us attention when we should be avoiding it. He was always getting us chased away from town after town by angry mobs, simply because he always had to go and cause trouble in order to prove to himself, and everyone else, how strong he was. I kept telling Angelus that we should just dust the fool- but no, my childe somehow found the boy amusing, and even I could admit he was very useful for keeping Dru entertained. So I always conceded in the end and let William keep his unlife.

But it didn't mean that I liked it.

There were times when I would begin to wonder if traveling with a vampire family was worth it. The responsibility in and of itself should have been enough to dissuade me. I liked a good time, not playing mother hen to three tempestuous childers- but here I was anyway, and the years flowed by like the water of a flood swollen creek. It was not like I did not enjoy my family's company, though I wouldn't confess such even under pain of torture. It was this bond, which I had no name for, that kept me close to my two charges, even as fear for my own beloved childe ate at me day after day.

Only when Drusilla's pained screaming filled the air one night, did I knew I had been correct in my feeling of dread for him.

"Gone! Gone! Daddy is gone! Taken from us by the nasty gypsies," she sobbed.

William had tried to console the poor girl, but it had been useless. When Dru was in that state, it was nearly impossible to get her out of it. Usually Angelus and I would've shocked her out of it with pain and violence, but I had not been in the mood to play such games.

No. I had been writhing in my own fury of my most beloved childe.

Revenge, hot and bitter. My demon had commanded the blood of the ones who had dared to take my childe from me. I would do nothing to stop it from reaping its revenge on the humans that had torn Angelus from me.

Such was the explanation for what was happening this night. It was why three demons had unleashed themselves upon a defenseless and worthless clan of gypsies. I reveled in the destruction me and my kin caused. I did not care to even taste the blood of my insignificant victims. I had concentrated on simply killing them in the most painful ways I could imagine. I told both my charges to leave no one alive. The field that was once where the gypsy's camp stood now bathed in blood. The bodies of its inhabitants lay strewn on the ground like so many broken toys. We left nothing alive, and what was left we burnt to the ground.

After the massacre, me and my charges stood at the top of a hill that overlooked the entire camp, watching as the flames lit up the dark night sky. Despite having my revenge against the ones who took my childe, I still felt the raw pain of losing Angelus, as well as an uncontrollable rage that hadn't been quenched by the destruction we'd caused. I kept silent though, not wanting to make Drusilla, who had begun crying again for the loss of her Daddy, feel any worse. William seem to be doing better than the two of us. Oh, I could tell that he is also dealing with Angelus' loss, but he simply looked angry, as he coaxed Dru through her tears. His voice was still gentle as he talked to the girl, but his stance belied the calm nature of the words; his body was rigid, his jaw tense, and there was a look in his eyes that said how furious he was at what had happened.

Angelus was like the boy's sire, and he had personally trained William to follow in his footsteps. And although William never liked doing what he was told, he still did listen to Angelus, on at least a few occasions, about the important things that he needed to learn as a vampire. I also knew for a fact that he looked up to my childe, and even dreamed of one day surpassing him. Now, that dream was just so much dust in the wind, as Angelus was no more.

At least that was what I thought that night as I watched the wagons burn.

(O.O)

We were on our way back to the abandoned cottage after a hunt, two nights after our attack on the gypsy clan, when it happened.

Suddenly I felt an unbearable ache in my chest, it sharpened and I screamed in agony. I saw a white glow but I couldn't determine if it was coming only from me or from my two companions as well. Next thing I knew I was kneeling on the grass, tears running from my eyes. I knew this emotion, that was coursing through my undead heart. It was an emotion I had not felt for a very long time.

Guilt.

What had caused me to feel it again, I did not know, but I knew why I felt it. Nearly three centuries of evil, and suddenly seeing, knowing and remembering it all right then and there was enough to drown me in an uncontrollable avalanche guilt. I began sobbing, clutching the fabric over my chest as if it could somehow help ease the pain.

I do not know how long I was there, kneeling on the grass, crying my eyes out, only that it was long enough for dawn to creep up on me. I could feel the prickle at the back of my neck that signaled the near rising of the sun. I wanted to stay where I was and let the sun take me and end this disgusting, pathetic, and miserable existence. I wanted kill the monster I was, but something stopped me. I raised my head and, for the first time since the guilt started consuming me, I looked at my charges.

Dru was also on her knees but she was hugging herself, rocking back and forth, and weeping softly, all the while whispering apologies to the wind.

William, on the other hand, was sitting on the grass, one arm hugging his knees, while the other was clutching his curly hair. He too, like Dru, was crying. He shook, and mumbled to himself in voice so low even my ears couldn't hear it all, though I could've sworn the word repeated more frequently than anything else, was mother.

Obviously whatever had affected me, had affected them as well, but it seemed they were even worse off than me. I had at least realized sunrise was imminent. Watching them be in such terrible pain stirred another dead emotion within me. I felt the strange need to comfort the two, which was ridiculous. As a vampire I did not provide succor to others. Only William did that with his darling Drusilla- and, and- I needed comfort myself. I was empty, but still I wanted to reach out to my family. I could not understand why. Not at that moment.

Dawn was coming, and if the three of us did not leave we would surely be dust. A part of me wanted that to happen, to just end everything, but another part of me was nagging for me to move my family, to keep them safe from the deadly rays of the sun. I do not know why, but the latter part of me won.

I gingerly stood up and walked towards my two companions.

"Get up," I ordered hoarsely, "Moring is nearly here and we need to get back to the cottage before the sun finds us."

"I see nothing horrible about that," William said, his old upper class British accent had returned, something which he had abandoned since his turning.

"He is right," Dru whispered, "Burn. Burn. Burn. We all deserve to burn. The spark was returned to us, burning us inside. Dirty. Filthy. 'Tis was not what father planned for me."

I knew it was a lost cause to persuade the two when they had so obviously given up like this. Hell, even I felt like joining them, but once again that nagging sensation inside of me grew stronger. I did not want these two to die. Not like this. Since they left me little choice I used the underhanded technique of using my demon to control theirs.

Calling it forth, I barked at the two to stand and follow me. Though reluctant at first, the call of my superior demon won, and slowly they both stood and left with me. Racing against the sun we hurried towards the cottage, getting there just in time. I ushered them both inside and as I slammed and locked the door, a feeling of relief washed over me, but it was short lived upon seeing the inside of the cottage.

The house's walls reeked of death. Flashbacks of what we did to the family came back to me in full force. How I had sent William to beg the mother of the house for refuge from the stormy night. Then how we immediately slaughtered the poor woman, who'd unknowingly granted us entry to her home. I could still hear her screams as William drained her life, and see how'd I carelessly threw her husband into the wall, breaking his neck instantly, after he'd tried, and failed, to save his wife. Their daughters' cries, from when we broke open their bedroom door and drug the two of them out, echoed in my ears. I remembered watching and laughing as Angelus violated the eldest, as my fangs were buried in the other's neck. I could see Dru carrying the crying baby of the house by his feet like one of her dolls, then smashing him to the wall, splattering the blood on her wet dress. She'd lapped up the mess she'd made.

I felt sick and started regretting my decision to come back to this place. The guilt was threatening to drown me once more, but it only lasted until I heard William and Dru crying beside. Again, I was surprised at the strange feeling of protectiveness I felt, hearing the distress of my family. I took the two into my arms, and let them sob against me.

Giving comfort. It was a strange thing for me to do, considering what I am, but somehow it felt right. So I did not question my actions, at least not yet, and continued what I was doing. I held the two younger vampires until sleep finally settled over them.

Sitting on the floor, with Dru and William sleeping in my arms, was another strange experience. Until then we'd only touched in passion, be it sexual or violent, yet somehow holding them like a mother gave me a certain feeling of peace and contentment I'd never known. The guilt ebbed away, for at least that moment, and I knew peace.

(O.O)

I had awoken just as the final light of day disappeared. I reached for my two charges, only to find them missing. I immediately stood, fearing what stupidity the two might have done while I was sleeping. I searched the entire cottage, but I found no traces of them inside. Panic set in. Scenarios played in my mind of what could have happened to the two, none of them good. The most likely one was one that they had decided to finish off what they'd been planning earlier and ended their existence in the sun. The mere thought of my darlings turning to dust, caused something inside me, that I never knew was there, to erupt. I mourned their loss, and it was different to how I had mourned Angelus' passing. I mourned them in the way a mother would mourn a child. Children. When had I started thinking of them as my children? I hadn't even realized it until now. Before, I'd always thought of the two as a nuisance that Angelus refused to destroy. Somehow, over the years, the two had grown on me in a way that ran deeper than I cared to admit, at least up until now. Perhaps it was because of whatever was causing me to be overrun with guilt. It could be causing other emotions to kindle. Emotions that had died after my turning, but now threatened to overwhelm me.

I couldn't seem to cry myself out. The pain and sobbing wouldn't end. I was on my knees on the floor of the filthy cabin, my hands over my eyes as if I could keep the tears in that way. I was so focused in my agony that I did not notice the door opening. It was the sound of it slamming closed that startled me out of my trance.

"So you're awake," William said, his voice hoarse and hollow. Dru was standing beside him, her arms hugging her slim figure as she tried to look as small as possible.

"Where in hell have you been?" I snapped, "Do you have any idea how worried I've been?"

"Worried? You? Since when? You never worry about Dru and me," the boy bitterly pointed out.

I was not surprise at what he said. It was the truth, I'd barely thought about the two of them up, until now. And again I blamed the change on whatever thing was inside of me, causing me to well up with emotions that had long been dead. I could not help but feel them as they washed over me like waves on the sand.

I walked closer to the two, trying to hide the turmoil inside me. I could tell that William was wary at my approached, because of the way he held Dru closer to him.

"You're right, I never used to care much about you two," I told him. "But for some unknown reason, I couldn't bare it when I found you gone. I did worry, and I still do." I could feel tears sliding down from my eyes. "But I am also so relieved and happy that you two are alright." I took the two of them into my arms for that second time that day, crushing them against me in relief.

I could feel William tensing at my touch, but he did not shove me off, so I took it as a good sign and tightened my embrace, my face buried in Drusilla's dark hair.

"We're sorry grandmum," I heard Dru whisper, making me let go of them to take a good look at the girl. She stared at me with the most lucid look I had ever seen from her, and it made me realize that perhaps whatever happened to us could have fixed Dru, or at least made her less insane. "Me and my Spike thought of dusting ourselves." Fear entwined around my heart again upon hearing those words. Unaware of my fear, Dru continued, "But the stars told me otherwise."

"Stars? You had a vision, Dru?" I asked, forcing my distress back down.

"Yes. The clearest one I ever had. They showed me the bad that is to happen, and our important roles in keeping it from coming to pass."

"What's coming Dru?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"The end of time."

(O.O)

A few hours after my conversation with Dru about what she had seen, including the newest path I and my small family were being asked to transverse found us all riding in a carriage leaving Romania. I had paid for our ride, instead of threatening the driver like I usually did, with money from the Aurelian savings. The coin might be drenched in blood, but it was not by my hand, but it seemed my soul had less of a problem with this pesky detail. In fact, it did not have much problem with a lot of things, except for the killings that I had done over the years. The fornication and theft I did while soulless weighed nothing on me, which wasn't all that surprising, since I had done all those things when I had been alive. The only thing that the soul gave me, besides the guilt of killing thousands, were the new emotions of love and care, along with a strange form of protectiveness, towards Dru and William. All the emotions I associated with motherly instincts had come back to me with the soul.

My soul.

Among the things Dru had told me was that the three of us had been cursed with souls by a survivor of the gypsy clan we had destroyed only a few days ago. I should've felt angry at the man, or woman, who had cursed me and made me feel so human. But I didn't. I did not want to. In fact, I was grateful of them. Without a soul, I was nothing but a demon that wanted only to feed, cause pain to others, or fulfill its sexual desires. I had had no goals, no dreams, no purpose, no life. I'd been truly dead, letting my demon have free rein. I'd felt nothing. I never wanted to be that empty again. So yes, I was grateful of the gypsies who cursed me. Can't say that Dru and William felt the same, at least not yet, but I would try to help them cope and find peace. Angelus may have been my childer, but he was never my child. He'd been more of a companion to my empty undead existence rather than to the woman inside.

When I'd been alive I'd been told I'd be barren, Angelus had been an attempt to defy that. A sad attempt. Yes, I had wanted to be a mother. It had been a dream of mine when my heart still beat. I wanted to teach my children things only mothers could teach, to be there for them when they got hurt, to make them smile when they were sad, to be their whole world until the time would come when it was their turn to have children of their own. My dream had been stolen from me, and now my new soul made me realize that I still craved it, even as an undead creature of the night.

With William and Dru I could be what I wished to be. I could be their guide and protector. I would make them smile again, and be there for them when the need to cry arose. I would be there for them, like a mother for her children, like what I had secretly always wanted to be. Again I was grateful to those gypsies. I cared not as much for the so called destiny that the future was dragging us towards, but I would do it. For Dru and William I would do anything. Like a mother I would love and support them, no matter what time held for us.

I leaned my head against the carriage window, and watched the dust from the horses' hooves fade behind us in the moonlight.

(O.O)

A/N: Thank you for reading this is my second BTVS fic. It's from a challenge, by the way, that I read from an official Spuffy site Elysian Fields. Anyway if Darla may seem a bit too OCC to you please understand that I wrote her like that because I wanted to show a side of Darla that wasn't explored. I saw its potential when she sacrificed herself for Connor, and I think that because of what she did she had a good potential of being a mother. I mean if she was willing to kill herself with only half a soul in her, what more if she had a whole one that truly belonged to her? So yeah, this is how I wrote her. I'll be switching to different POVs in each chapters to portray the other vampires, Dru and Spike. And I will most definitely will be including Buffy in this fic. Hehe. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Thank you for reading and please review. Because reviews make me want to write.