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Warning! This story contains references to pre-marital sex and stuff like that. If you're too young or don't want to read it, well…don't.

Change of Plans

His eyes opened slowly and Alec felt a rare moment of complete and comfortable relaxation, the kind that comes after a really good night's rest after some serious exercise. It was light, the sun was up and he should get moving but first…

He turned his head enough to see Pam sleeping next to him and smiled to himself. Reaching over, he kissed her gently to wake her, the way he did everyday he was here at the farm—when he felt her return his kiss he knew the day could start. "Good morning." He loved her, he was sure of it and he was just about to the point of believing that she loved him as well.

"Hi." She stretched a little. "Time to go to work?"

He nodded. "After a shower?"

She smiled just enough to mean yes and he kissed her again. He'd returned last night from almost a solid week of racing down in New York and he was bemused to think that a year ago he wouldn't have thought anything of it—now all he'd wanted was to get home and back to Pam. It was a new feeling for him and one he liked. He liked being in love; he liked it a lot. Sure, he'd dated girls before and had a few girlfriends back in school but it had never worked out—he traveled too much, he was too busy. This was so much better.

Then the last couple of months Alec had slowly gotten into the habit of simply staying over with Pam in the apartment over the training barn. She'd been at the farm since the end of March and it was almost September now. They'd hit it off quickly after he'd hired her to work the young horses and things had moved fast between them, despite the fact that he was traveling again this summer to race the Black. He still got back to Hopeful Farm when he could and now he made a special effort. Evening walks had turned into late night talk sessions. A simple kiss good night had turned into something they both made linger and slowly—or maybe not so slowly, grew into overnights. After that, well…things had moved fast and so now he was in the habit of just staying with her instead of leaving at two or three in the morning for a few hours in his room over at the main house with his parents. So far no one had said anything but he knew it was a matter of time and part of him was waiting for the shoe to drop so they could get things out in the open—he had a feeling that it wouldn't be too long, either.

Almost an hour later the two of them were dried off and dressed, Alec making a quick trip to the house to get clean clothes and hoping he wouldn't meet his mother or father in the kitchen. He knew it was inevitable sooner or later, but he really needed to get started on the day's work and didn't have time to answer questions right now. The answers were pretty obvious anyway and as far as he was concerned, they could wait for now.

This time he made it in and out without seeing anyone and was back in his office in the stallion barn to do some paperwork and return a number backlogged of phone messages. It was routine stuff and he found his mind wandering, wishing he could ignore this side of things to ride the two-year-olds with Pam. He even tried to rationalize it as being better training for the youngsters to be worked in pairs and while that was true, he also knew he had to get his own work finished first. Resignedly he bent to it.

A couple of hours later he was done and stood up thankfully, stretching and wandering out to the stalls, pausing to open Satan's door to scratch his nose and talk to the animal—Satan enjoyed just about any attention he could get. Alec snapped on a lead shank and walked him out to his field. It was a nice day and there was no reason why the stallion should have to spend it penned up. Turned loose, the Triple Crown winner ran around the field twice with the grace, speed and fluidity he'd become famous for during his racing career. No one watching would know he'd been retired from racing to prevent further harming a broken and healed bone in his right fore. Better to have him stand at stud alive and healthy than to lose him on a back stretch somewhere; he was happy here and if his days were quieter than they were, at least he could live a long life

Alec walked over to the training barn hoping to catch Pam when she returned with whichever horse she was working. He checked the training chart then got Black Pearl out of his stall, brushed him down and was just about done tacking him when he noticed a young man he didn't know leaning against the open door, watching him work. "Can I help you?"

"Uh, yeah, hi. I'm looking for Pam, is she around?"

"Who are you?" He was tall, at least six feet and though he wasn't fat, he was pretty solid; he had to weight close to two hundred pounds.

"Chris Mueller. Maybe she mentioned me? No? Well, we're engaged, supposed to get married next spring. Is she around here or not?"

Engaged? Excuse me…? "Is she expecting you?"

"No, I'm surprising her." He smiled. "It's her birthday." Alec hadn't known that and it bothered him this guy knew things he didn't, he was jealous and he didn't like that either.

Pam chose that moment to lead Black Star through the door, lathered and needing a good cool down. She glanced at this Chris person then, ignoring him spoke directly to Alec. "He did his run in fifty-seven flat but I think he needs to have his feed changed—he's blowing more than I like to see and his shoes seem to be bothering him, too." Still ignoring her guest, she stripped off the tack and started washing down her horse. "This won't take long and then maybe we can break a couple of them together like you wanted, Alec." She finally glanced over at the young man watching, clearly not happy to see him. Alec stood back, deciding to stay out of whatever was coming; this was between Pam and this guy, whoever he was. "Chris, get lost. I told you not to come up here. Leave me alone."

…Not the reaction Alec was expecting—nor Chris, either judging from the look on his face.

"Ah c'mon, Pammy, I thought you might be glad to see me—we're supposed to be planning a wedding, remember?" He didn't seem angry, just a little confused and sad as if he didn't understand her coldness to him.

Shaking her head in obvious annoyance, she looked over at Alec. "I'm sorry Alec but would it be all right if I…"

Something wasn't right here. "Would you like him to leave? You don't have to talk to anyone you don't want to."

She paused, making up her mind. "No, it's okay. Really. Could I maybe have a few hours…?"

Alec suddenly didn't like this guy, didn't like his attitude and didn't like the way Pam was reacting to his being here—there was something 'off' about him he couldn't quite put his finger on and it bothered him. "If you're sure, take the rest of the day off, no problem, Pam. I'll work the horses with Mike." She looked like she'd rather be doing anything else. "If you need any help, just call out, okay?"

She nodded her thanks and handed her mount over to one of the farm hands to cool out for her—evidence of just how upset she was. She never slacked her obligations to the horses and Alec wondered what was really going on as she and this Chris person walked towards one of the trails. He noticed that she kept her distance, her body language obviously angry and they didn't touch as they disappeared into the trees.

Had Pam only slept with him this summer because he could help her career? Henry had said as much when he'd first learned she was working for them. He'd insisted Pam would turn out like most of the others who came around the farm, just wanting the perks of being associated with a well known operation and the advantages that could be gotten—was that all she was after? Had she allowed them to get close so he'd get her rides at some track or write her a glowing recommendation for her next job when she moved on? He couldn't believe he'd misread her so badly but what was he to think?

Mounting Black Pearl and heading up to the training track, Alec passed a midnight blue late model BMW convertible parked by the near paddock, top down and obviously belonging to Chris. Chris, whom Pam had never seen any reason to mention, nor the fact (was it a fact?) that she was engaged to marry the guy and the wedding plans seemed to be going ahead, at least to hear his side of things. What was going on here and if she was really going to marry him, why wasn't she at least a little happy to see him?

Alec went through the rest of the day as he would have any other day. Anyone looking at him or talking to him wouldn't have had any reason to think anything was bothering him. He rode the horses, broke them from the gate with Mike riding beside him, made some more phone calls after the horses had all been exercised. He arranged matings for a couple of Calumet Farm mares with Satan for next month. He even went into the main house to eat dinner with his parents—for the first time in several weeks, though they were both tactful enough not to say anything. Around eleven he looked from the window in his room and saw the BMW still parked and low lighting coming from Pam's apartment in the upper story of the training barn. Unable to sleep, he looked over a few more times during the night, the only thing changing was that Pam's window finally went dark but the blue car was still there.

Alec's stomach was bothering him tonight—that ulcer he developed when he was sixteen was hurting badly and he was afraid that he might lose dinner if he wasn't careful. He was eating Tums like they were candy and needed to know what was going on and if she was she really planning on marrying this guy. Had he been taken by her or? He didn't want to believe it, but what else was he supposed to think?

Alec was up around five-thirty the next morning and in his office writing some letters he'd been putting off. He'd He's gotten almost no sleep. The BMW wasn't there when he walked across the yard and he wondered if Chris was really gone or just out finding breakfast. Around six-thirty he heard Pam coming to the barn to begin her work for the day, forcing himself to not go out to her and ask questions.

How could she have spent every night with him, sleeping together whenever he was at the farm this summer and then, without a word, switch to some old boyfriend the minute he turns up unexpectedly? And what they had together—what he'd thought they had together—was a lot more than just sex. He was in love with her. He'd spent hours last week down at Belmont trying to decide how he was going to ask her to marry him. Maybe he should get in line and take a number…It was beyond him and the only explanations he could come up with both torn out his heart and infuriated him.

Around eight Pam paused at his opened office door. Alec was sitting in his large leather desk chair, turned with his back to her, one knee drawn up against his chest and the other stretched out on the windowsill as he watched the horses out in the field. His hands were resting lightly on the arms and his head was pillowed by the high chairback. If she didn't know better she'd think he was completely relaxed.

"He's gone. I finally got rid of him about two this morning—and I don't think he'll be back." If Alec heard her he didn't show it. "I told him—again— it's over between us, that there's no wedding and that I'm not going to change my mind." Still nothing. "He won't be back, Alec, I promise."

Alec turned his head enough that he could see her standing there, his expression both sad and detached, as though he'd already dismissed her and was just waiting for her to finish talking and leave.

"Alec, please, let me explain—it's not what you think. It isn't."

He sighed slightly and turned his attention back out the window, no longer looking at her. "And how is it?"

"Chris and I went out back in school and he thought, he just assumed that we'd get married. He even told his parents and our friends and had an announcement put in the local papers. I keep telling him it wasn't going to happen but he doesn't accept it. He's been following me around for a couple of years insisting that I sit down and make seating arrangements and decide on centerpieces and find a dress. I keep telling him I'm not going to marry him and he…"

"Doesn't believe you?" He was looking out the window at the mares in the field again. "He's a stalker? Call the police."

"I have and they said they can't do anything unless he threatens me somehow."

Alec lowered his leg from the sill and straightened out the other one, standing up. "I have work to do."

"Alec, please listen to me."

"Look, I believe you, okay? More or less, anyway." He took a couple of steps around the desk to face her. "What I don't understand is how you could go through this summer, through everything we've done together and everything we've talked about and not get around to mentioning this."

"I was hoping that he'd given up. I hadn't heard from him in a few months and I thought that maybe he'd…" She trailed off. He seemed desperately disappointed—in her, in what he assumed he'd either lost or perhaps never really had to begin with. That hurt her more than anything she'd gone through with Chris did. She was in love with Alec; at least as much as he was in love with her.

"Aside from anything else, didn't it occur to you that we might want to know that you were having a problem with this guy and that there was a chance he'd show up? I mean, he did show up."

"Alec, I didn't think…" He'd moved past their own relationship to other matters and now she saw the first flickers of real anger towards her.

"No. You didn't. Aside from anything else, aside from you using me to…" He paused, changing his tack. "We have horses here worth—literally—millions of dollars. If he'd taken it into his head to kill, say, Satan do you have any idea how that would impact the farm? I booked half a million dollars in potential stud fees for him this morning. Without that income we'd have to shut down if we couldn't find a way to replace it."

"I know but he promised me that he'd leave me alone after last Christmas. I didn't believe he'd go back on his word to me." She looked pale, upset and afraid that this break may not be fixable.

"And so why should I believe that this time he's really gone?"

"Because I told him I want to marry you." He could see her chin trembling. "I told him that I love you, not him." She swallowed, breathing hard in an effort to control herself. "That's when he left."

"Interesting that you told him before you told me." He stood in front of her. "Or was that just an excuse to get rid of him?"

"Alec…please. Do you really believe that I'd sleep with you if I didn't?"

He didn't bother answering, just moved over to the door and paused. "By the way, happy birthday." Then he was gone, not stopping until he got over to the Black's stall. He didn't bother with either bridal or saddle, just vaulting himself up onto the high back. Needing to get away by himself for a while, he headed Black towards the south trail and let him open up and set the pace, not stopping until they got to the small pond in a wooded clearing. Alec slid off Black's back and let the horse wander over to get a drink as he sat down in the long grass.

Alec's father looked up from the New York Times. "Are you going out tonight?"

"No."

He lowered the paper, hesitating and Alec had a pretty good idea what he was working himself up to asking. "…I don't want to pry or interfere, but are you and Pam having problems?" Alec didn't answer, just gave him a slight shrug and disappeared up the stairs to his room. That wasn't the answer Bill Ramsay had expected from his son—the boy, no the young man—had spent every night for the last few months with Pam, well, until last night anyway. Alec's mother was upset about this, insisting that it was his job to bring their son back to the high moral ground but he didn't completely agree. He knew their son well enough to realize that he wouldn't start a relationship with any girl if he didn't have deep feelings for her. While he'd prefer that it wasn't being thrown in their faces right here at the farm, clearly Alec didn't take this lightly. Bill also knew he wouldn't toy with any young lady and if things had progressed far enough for them to virtually be living together, it was serious. At least it was for Alec.

An hour later he heard Alec go out, despite what he'd said earlier. This was followed not long after by Alec returning, the kitchen door slamming behind him.

With some hesitation Bill knocked on Alec's closed door. When he got a response he went in to see his son lying on his bed, hands behind his head, staring at the sloped ceiling and obviously upset. Sitting on the desk chair, Bill looked around the reasonably neat room. For all the tremendous success Alec had with his riding, there was almost nothing to indicate it in here; there were no pictures of wins, no trophies, none of the plaques he'd received—nothing to show that one of the top riders in the world lived here. Sure, there was a pair of riding boots on the floor, goggles on the bureau and a pervading smell of horse, but nothing to let anyone know the occupant had two Kentucky Derby victories and the triple crown to his credit as well as a win in the Hambletonian. In fact—"Where are all your riding things?"

"What riding things?" Alec looked at him like he was speaking gibberish.

"You know, all those awards you've gotten."

"Oh, them." He sounded about as interested as if his father had asked which drawer he kept his socks in. "Some are in the closet and the rest are down in the basement."

Bill smiled. "Well, you're modest, anyway." Alec just shrugged; he really didn't care about that kind of thing. "I forgot to tell you; you got an invitation to the Sport's Illustrated banquet again this year. Do you want to go, see your friends?"

"Not really. I hate getting dressed up and the food's always bad." Alec shifted, rolled his feet onto the floor, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at his father. "Did you want something?"

"When do you have to go back down to the track?"

"Tomorrow for a week or two. Henry has the string entered in some training races and if they do well he'll put them in a few more for seasoning. I picked up a few extra rides, too—I figured I might as well use my free time while I'm there." He stood up, restless.

"You're riding for other stables in addition to us?"

"Not in any races we have an entry. Just when I have the time; a couple of the trainers asked me as a favor last year and they seem to like how I handle their horses so it's kind of grown. No reason not to pick up some extra money if I can and I still learn something in almost every race I ride."

His father nodded. No, no reason why he shouldn't keep busy. "Alec, what's going on? I mean here." He paused for a second to gauge Alec's reaction. "Did Pam quit or something?"

Alec shook his head 'no' then paused long enough that his father didn't think he'd really answer. "Her fiancée showed up yesterday. She claims she called off the wedding months, years ago but this guy seems to think it's still happening. I didn't know she even had a fiancée, let alone whether it's on or off."

"I see." And he did.

"So that pretty much makes me either a stepping stone for her career or an idiot. Or both."

"Not necessarily. Don't be so hard on yourself, it makes you a normal young man who was attracted to a pretty girl you have things in common with."

"And who stopped thinking because of it."

Alec wasn't just angry, he was hurt. Bill Ramsay had realized a couple of months ago that Alec was falling for the girl and had thought the feelings were returned. Everything he'd seen between the two kids certainly made it look that way but…

"So what did Pam say? Is she leaving to be with this other fellow? Did she break it off with you?" Alec looked like he'd rather have his teeth drilled than answer. "If you're leaving in the morning, you should have this settled one way or another—it's not fair to either of you and if you're distracted down at Belmont Henry will rake you over the coals."

"I know." He shook his head, glanced out the window to make sure the lights in the barn apartment were on and that she was up there then pulled on his sneakers. "I'll go talk to her."

"Decide what it is you want before you go over there—if you don't mind some free advice, that is. If you're done with her or if she's going back to this other young man then, fine. But if you still want her, if you still think you're in love with her, give her a chance to explain and listen to what she has to say."

Alec paused at his door. "How come you and Mom haven't said anything before this?"

His father smiled. "You've always known your own mind, Alec—you were one of those kids who was about thirteen going on thirty. All right, you mother isn't thrilled that you've been spending so much time across the way, but all she's ever wanted is that you're happy. And this summer you have been. It's been obvious to all of us. Even Henry commented on it."

There was a look of disbelief on Alec's face. "Henry? His comment to me was to have 'fun' up here but be prepared to work on the track."

Bill laughed out loud at that. "Well, Henry has his own priorities."

"That he does."

"Alec, just be honest with her and with yourself. Don't throw away something you want because you're upset." Alec nodded once before he left his father alone.

Alec climbed the stairs up to the apartment, quickly knocking lightly on the door; Pam answered almost immediately, standing aside so he could go in.

He stood in the middle of the room, unsure of just what to say to her and noticed that she looked like she'd been crying.

"I'm sorry, Alec. I had no idea that he'd show up here. He said he wanted to surprise me—I didn't know he'd just walk in. I'm so sorry." She seemed to be having trouble getting the words out.

"He's gone?"

She nodded.

"How did he know—did you tell him? Is that why he showed up?" Alec wasn't sure what that would prove—if anything. Maybe she used it as an excuse to get rid of Chris or maybe she actually meant it. He had no idea and wondered if it even mattered. She'd lied to him, through omission it was true, but it was still a lie as far as he was concerned.

"No. "He figured out that we're together just by looking at us, he said it was too obvious to miss. When I told him it was serious he got angry and left. He just looked at us and figured it out as soon as he saw us talking. That's why it took so long for him to go; he kept asking me if what we have together is just a fling to tide me over—that's what he called it—or if it's real."

The same thing Alec had been wondering. "And what did you tell him…?"

"I told him it's real." She sniffed noisily. "It is, isn't it? I meant it when I said it's not just a summer affair." She waited for Alec to say something, when he didn't she went on. "It isn't for me, a fling, I mean…is that what you thought it was?" Pam looked like she was scared to hear his answer right now.

"You know better than that. I wouldn't be practically living with you, especially here at the farm, if it were. My parents are a hundred yards across the yard."

There was another pause. "So now what?" She was afraid that he'd turn and leave or tell her that he'd changed his mind or maybe had to think about it or something. He didn't, he just looked sad.

"I don't want to lose you, but…" He shrugged and shook his head.

"You don't trust me, is that it? Do you think some other guy may show up without warning one of these days?"

It had crossed his mind but he knew that was probably a long shot. He was upset about the secrecy and wondered what else she'd kept secret from him. After everything they'd done and shared the last few months—it bothered him and it hurt. It hurt him a lot. "I have to go down to Belmont in the morning." He paused, as though he wasn't sure what to say next. "I wanted to get this straightened out before I leave. I didn't want it hanging over us for the next week."

She nodded; she felt the same way. "I'll be here when you come back if you want me to be that is."

"You know I want you here." He looked so sad and Pam understood how deeply she'd hurt him. "I want you here all the time…I was going to…" He trailed off.

"What?"

"I was going to ask you to marry me when I got back next week." He shook his head as if that were a ridiculous idea now.

"Ask me."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to—I think it's the right thing for us and I want us to be together as much as you do. I don't want to leave you or the farm. This is what I want; you are what I want. I'm sure of it—I've been sure of it for months now." She took a step closer and put her hand on his arm. "Please, Alec. I want us to be together."

He put his hand on her cheek and she leaned into him. He was quiet for a few long minutes as he watched her face, deciding. "Marry me, Pam."

She nodded, happy, relieved, a small smile on her face. "Yes—I want to. I, I'd like to do it as soon as we can. When you get back we can get the blood tests and the license, if you'd like. We don't need a big wedding or any of that, unless that's what you want. We can just do it, just the two of us."

"We can talk about that when I get back." He kissed her, her arms around his neck. "Yes, we'll get married next week." He kissed her again, "You're sure?" Before she could answer he went on. "I only want to do this once, I don't want a divorce in a few years…are you sure?"

"As sure as I've ever been of anything in my life—yes. We'll get married next week."

Two days later things between Alec and Pam were back on track. They spent hours on the phone at night and both were happy and excited about the upcoming elopement they knew would surprise everyone. They were making plans—fixing up the apartment over the Training barn for them to live in and Pam wanted to bring her mare up to the farm permanently. Maybe they'd take a trip down to her family's home in Florida so they could get to meet Alec as son as the Belmont meeting was over.

Alec was riding in the fourth race at Belmont, a training race for three-year-olds. The race went well and he finished second on a late starter named Onyx they were hoping would settle in to race this winter season either in Florida or California.

When Alec was showered and changed back into his regular clothes he made his way back to their stalls to find Onyx already cooled out and having a drink of water. Henry wasn't around and the groom from across the way ambled over holding an envelope with Alec's name on it. "I found this taped to our tack room door a few minutes ago—more fan mail from the looks of it."

"Thanks, Ted."

Inside was a photo of the Black from an old article in Newsweek. It was cut up, almost shredded and had red paint or ink smeared across the animal's face. "Ramsay—stay away from her. She's mine."

6/16/07

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