Title: Sex Trek On 'Heading down South': It's Totally Unforgiveable.
Author: Didget
Fandom: Star trek: Voyager (PARODY!)
Disclaimer: I own my parody, that is all :P
Rating: T (for 'Terrible' amounts of ridiculous sex ;)
Pairings: Nailwax & Banana, Capital Walkaway & Kiss, Capital Walkaway & Kiss & 2balls, Capital Walkaway & Kiss & 2balls & Kim my Boy, and one sided Capital Walkaway & Choky.
Warning: Yes there is some girl on girl and some boy on boy action (tho I'm not sure whether Kim my Boy is actually a boy). And mention of three-somes and four-somes. If you don't like, don't read!
Author's Note: this is a totally inappropriate and immature parody of Star trek; Voyager. If an outrageous and continuous referee to sex upsets you, read a different story.
Second Author's Note: My Sex Trek Names & Terms; (in order of mention)
Voyager – Going Down South ;]
Neelix – Nailwax
Chakotay - Choky
Captain Catherin Janeway - Capital Caffeine Walkaway.
Tuvok - 2balls
Ponfar – Pancake Car (ride)
Harry Kim – Kim my Boy
Warp core - Warped cord
B'Elanna - Banana
Kes – Kiss
Delta – Shelta
Quadrant - Quad
Ocampa – OhCumium
Story Starts Here! - Sex Trek On 'Heading down South': It's Totally Unforgiveable.
*Choky's point of view.*
Nailwax stared at me from across the table.
"You're running away from your feelings Choky. It clear to everyone you want Capital Walkway.
"I do but…"
"But what!" Nailwax demanded. "It not like she's having sex with anyone else."
"No it's exactly like she's having sex with someone else." I hissed. "How do you think 2balls survived his Pancake Car (ride) without dying?"
"I heard he shackled Kim my Boy to the warped cord & and had some crazy sex with him." said Banana, sitting down beside Nailwax and pulling him into her lap. I looked away, feeling sick as Banana began to kiss & bite the side of Nailwax's neck.
"Yeah, well I have to go." I said standing & walking hurriedly away.
"Have a meeting with Capital do you?" Called out Banana mockingly, the mess-hall around her filling with laughter.
"No!" I yelled back. Trying not to run through corridors to fast, I arrived at Capital Walkaways office with not a second to spare. Trying not to look breathless I slowly knocked on her door & waited.
*Capital Walkaways point of view.*
Hearing a knock on the door, I quickly slipped my uniform top back on & gestured to Kiss to crawl under the desk. Composing my face I instructed whoever it was to enter. Not to my surprise, it was Choky.
"Can I talk to you about a personal matter Capital?" He asked quietly, not quite meeting my eyes.
"Yes, and if it's that personal please call me Caffeine." I said watching chokeholds innocent face carefully.
"Is the rumour true?"
"Which rumour?" I asked, trying to ignore Kiss's lips & hands.
"Is it true-" He asked, looking me in the face for the first time. "-You & 2balls had sex during his pancake-car ride?"
Looking deep into chokeholds eyes I smiled. "Well we did but I wasn't the only one. You see I alone couldn't manage to 2balls, so Kiss and I switched every couple of hours or so." Enjoying the look of complete shock on Chokeholds face, I decided to push his expectations beyond what he could handle. "If we were both up to it, sometimes we even had a three-some... And once a four-some when Kim my Boy decided to get involved."
"But isn't that… like illegal?" Asked Choky, a despite kinda hope etched across his face.
"Yeah probably, but we're in the middle of the Shelta Quad, so who's gonna stop us?" I said cheerfully, as I idly shrugged off my top again. "Now if you excuse me, I have a horny little OhCumium to look after." Amused I watched Choky leaving the office, there'd be some quite fantastic rumours spreading across the ship like wildfire by next shift.
Second Authors Note: This story will be continued whenever I feel like it :D (Which means it won't be continued at all probably)
Please review, if only to tell me how much you regret reading this story ;]