It's from Logan's POV. Enjoy? Please review.
Don't own Veronica Mars. Don't sue.
You've never seen Veronica cry.
Not really. She's strong. Not even a movie can make her cry. Lilly always cried during romantic movies. But not Veronica. People always thought it was the other way around. But Veronica was strong. You always thought that nothing could break her. You always made sure nothing could come close enough to break her.
You never thought you'd be the one to break her.
The firs time you see her cry is when Lilly dies. But even as she cries she is still the strong one. She is the one who holds Duncan. She is the one who takes your hand. You don't even think about the others. But she does. And you love her for it.
You never thought one day you'd hate her.
The second time you see her cry is a couple of weeks after the funeral. And this time it was you who made her cry. You never thought it would come to this. You never wanted it to go this far. But it did. You used Lilly's memory against her. And you knew. There was no going back anymore.
You never meant for it to go this far. But it did.
You never wanted it to go this far.
You never wanted it to go this far. You never wanted these things to happen. You never wanted to end here. But you did end here. You don't even know how this happened. You were just so angry. You were never good at controlling your feelings.
Nobody expected you to.
You were just so angry. You're girlfriend was dead. The only girl you had ever loved. She was dead. You're best friend was nothing but a shell. He barely reacted to anything anymore. And you're other friend was a traitor. At least that's what you tell yourself.
You never wanted it to go this far. But it did.
Even anger fades over time.
And it did. You're not angry anymore. All that is left is pain. Pain and regret. You know you should have never done what you did. You know you should have never hurt Veronica. But you're a coward. You don't want to talk to her. You don't want to beg for forgiveness.
You're to proud for you own good.
You're not angry. Not even when she shows up at the party. For a second you feel like everything is still the same. Like nothing ever happened. For a second you swear you see Lilly standing next to her. But then you remember. You remember that Lilly is dead. And you remember you hate Veronica. Or at least that's what you tell yourself.
You take a swing of the bottle your holding.
You know that if you would go to her know and ask her to forgive you. Ask her to be your friend again, she would do it. She would never speak of these past couple of months. She would never mention it again. She wouldn't.
But you're a coward. So you stay were you are.
You hear a voice in your head.
It keeps telling you to go to Veronica. To be her friend again. It's a voice that sound remarkable like Lilly's. A part of you is happy to hear her voice. You haven't heard it in so long. But another part of you doesn't want to hear it. It hurts to much.
You hear a voice in your head.
A voice that sound like Lilly. You don't want to hear it. So you drink. You drink every drink you can find. Until you are so drunk that you can't remember who you are. Until you are so drunk that you don't remember who Veronica is. Until you can't remember her voice anymore.
You can't hear her voice anymore. And it makes you happy.
You'll never forget the look in her eyes.
She always used to hope. Even trough it all. Even when her best friend was dead. Even when he did the things he did. She still used to have a glint of hope in her eyes. You never knew why. You never questioned it. She always used to hope.
You'll never forget her eyes.
She always used to hope. You thought she always would. But when you look in her eyes on Monday morning they are cold. Cold, hard and distant. There is nothing left of the old Veronica. Nothing but the diamond necklace that hangs around her neck. Veronica Mars is gone. Dead. A part of you wonders how she died. But you don't think about it.
You'll never forget her eyes.
It's not her hair that bothers you. It's not her clothes. You are a little surprised when she answers you, but it doesn't really bother you. It's her eyes that bother you. Those eyes that once held so much hope, love and forgiveness. Those eyes are now cold. There is nothing there anymore.
Those eyes haunt you at night.
And for the first time you wonder if there is still going back. When you saw her at the party you knew that she would still forgive you. Now you are not so sure. You look into her eyes and for a second you swear you see hate in them. But Veronica Mars can't hate.
You'll never forget the look in her eyes.
They haunt you.
At night when you close your eyes it's all you can see. Lilly's cold and broken body. Veronica's cold eyes. You don't want to sleep. You don't want to remember. You don't want to think of reasons that would make Veronica so cold. So full of hate.
You try to forget them.
But it's not that simple. You keep hearing Lilly's voice during the day. Telling you to go to Veronica. TO find out what's wrong. To ask her what happened. To kill whoever did this to her. A part of you wonders if you won't have to kill yourself. After all you did do that salt lick on her. You didn't even think about it. And now you're disgusted that you ever did it.
You can't forget them.
You hear Lilly's voice. You see Veronica's eyes. And you can't handle it anymore. You skip the afternoon and go home. There you drink every until you can't remember anything anymore.
But those eyes still haunt you.
A part of you always knew.
It always knew what had happened to her. Even as you tried to deny it. But now she stands here in front of you. All broken. And now after so long you finally understand those eyes. And you wish you didn't. Somebody raped her? How could somebody do this to her.
You try to remember the party.
You remember a past out Veronica. You remember the salt on her body and the lime between her lips. Oh god. You wonder if you did this to her. If you are to blame. You opened the door. But you never meant for it to go that far. You never wanted this to happen to her. She tells you she will make the person who did this to her pay. Even if it was you.
You'll hurt yourself before she gets the chance.
You try to forget her words but you can't. For the first time in months you hear Lily's voice. You see her dead body. You see Veronica's eyes. You hear Veronica's voice. And you wonder how you could ever let it get this far. You tried to deny it. To not see the change in her.
But a part of you, a part of you always knew.
You'll never forget those eyes.
They will haunt you till the day you die. Lily's broken body and Veronica's cold eyes. A part of you believes they are both your fault. You keep hearing Lily's voice. But you try to ignore it. You try to forget everything that happened. You try to you really try to.
But you can't. You can't forget. And it scares you.
You hope she knows. Veronica. Now that she knows the full truth. Now that she knows everything you did at that party. You hope that she knows. You didn't want this to happen. You hope she understands. You hope that one day you will look into her eyes and find that glint of hope again. You hope it didn't disappear forever. You hope she knows.
That you never meant for it to got his far. You never meant for this to happen.
But it did.