1Garfield sat on the kitchen table and was eating a big lasagna. He loved lasagna. Garfield's owner, Jon, made it for him because he was kind of good that day. Good meaning he didn't scratch up Jon's favorite chair. Jon really hated it when his cat Garfield did that. But this time he didn't so he got a lasagna.
Garfield ate and ate and ate until he got a big belly and burped out a burp that lasted about 21 seconds (a little came up his throat, but that was okay he got a chance to taste it again even though it was all gone).
Garfield thought to himself, "I like lying on my back with a full belly but I sure hate Monday's". Don't we all.
Then the doorbell rang.
"Let Odie get it," thought Garfield.
It rang again.
"That son of a bitch," thought Garfield again. Odie indeed was a son of a bitch because a bitch is a female dog so Garfield wasn't really putting him down.
Garfield rolled over and walked to the door.
He opened it.
It was Nermal the cute little kitten that he hated.
"What the hell do you want, jerko von jerkenstein?", Garfield asked.
"Garfield, I've come here this day to ask you why you're so mean to me all of the time", Nermal asked.
"Because I've fucking got feline fucking leukemia, you asshole! I look at you and I think, oh! Here's a cute little kitten that everyone is going to love for years and years and I'm going to die in 4 to six weeks! I fucking HATE you!"
Garfield slammed the door in Nermal's face and walked to the bathroom where he threw up all of the lasagna he ate due to complications from the feline leukemia, mistakenly ate his own feces in his cat box from the onset of blindness and died later that day with his own filth coming out of his mouth.