Another one-shot and from Yukino's POV, I'm not really sure how in character this will be so I'm hoping this'll work out fine, hopefully…
It cannot be said that our childhoods and the person we are now are never connected. Anyone who claims otherwise is a front-faced brutal liar and should be thoroughly re-educated to come to the correct conclusion. After all, the person I am now is shaped partly by the person I was then.
My cold-passive demeanor, shaped by years of experience and a sustained lack of freedom. My, what some would call "elitist" attitude also shaped by years of rejection and jealousy from those who sought to obstruct me. My mild interest in a certain panda, to remind me of the better times in life. Before balancing on thin-ice supporting the weight of a fragile relationship, before hosting a visage under the pressure of expectations, before the harsh reality of the world and the despicable people that would reject what little threat I posed to their personal goals.
I was simply worried that poor Pan-san might not be able to collect enough bamboo…
Before I could completely envelope myself in this bittersweet nostalgia however, a loud bang echoed throughout the house disrupting my sleep and the peace of mind I had previously was completely lost as I woke up greeting the cold air of reality with as much enthusiasm as…
Well, as a certain panda misunderstood by others because of his deviant-like eyes. In a world built on first impressions, fate was mostly unkind to him though his true power was his spirit. A shining beacon of hope to keep going no matter the odds.
Ahem, anyway, mild interest aside. Something was wrong.
For instance, shouldn't this bed be much warmer? It's almost as if it wasn't accounting for someone else's presence which was oddly distracting and the cold air from outside the sheets lashed at the skin causing goosebumps to appear across my pure skin. The plain blue sheets performed adequately but in certain cases, adequate was nowhere near good enough and in some cases, the amount of empty space being covered left a somewhat nostalgic abject feeling that no inanimate stuffed animal could bring.
Clumsy enough to wake me up and inconsiderate enough to not be in the same bed, never mind room.
Dummy, nincompoop, Hachiman…
Despite our ups and downs, past the expectations, past the idealizations we thrust upon one another, I could still feel innately proud and embarrassed on what we managed to create. This doesn't change the fact he is completely incompetent at times and outright infuriating at getting what underlying messages I try to convey but in the end…
I can still look into those disgusting, vile, rotten eyes and forgive him all over again (mind you, I'll still hold it against him. A Yukinoshita never lets things go). In truth, those eyes of his were an excellent deterrent in keeping other women from putting their vile, polished nails all over him.
No words in the dictionary could explain their irrational barbarism. They just couldn't understand the magic behind them. His dis-interested look, the way he'd avoid eye contact like a guilty child even when innocent.
He was a messenger of truth and sincerity, perhaps even an embodiment of those qualities.
And it wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to say he looked rather similar to…
Shaking my head erratically, the long threads of my hair refused to straighten out leaving many stray odds and ends. The red ribbons, something I still treasured were left unused on the drawer next to the bed ready to be used for the following morning.
A morning that is still 6 hours away but despite my seemingly grumpy disposition, it would be a lie to say I wasn't used to this.
Facing the cold air recklessly in nothing but my modest blue silk night dress, I refuse the empty comfort of the bedding and proceed to investigate the disturbance. The dress clung loosely to my body via the straps over my shoulders and not at all due to the way I've developed. I am fine as I am and even without those, I am clearly content that I am a natural beauty with a body I know for a fact has matured. For certain, I have absolute faith in that. Even when I would sneak glances when in the company of…Shall I say, luckier women?
If only for research purposes of course.
Walking barefoot feeling somewhat and strangely disheartened, I move past the few photos that lined the wall that I sadly could only consider "acceptable". Obviously this disappointing feeling wasn't from the more gifted genes that raise the quality of a single person, it was from these lacklustre pictures on the wall.
Everyone else was fine. The poses, the expressions and the general atmosphere captured during those times still remained. What soured all this though was always and specifically him.
His unrelenting dead-eyed expression would look alien in contrast to those around. Even when getting him to straighten his back was a hassle to behold, his expression would ruin it single-handedly. I was sure there was a haunting Yūrei following us around like a creepy stalker, something that complete idiot couldn't stop doing.
It's not like I'm fair enough to give him a choice…
Then again, it's not like he doesn't consider himself lucky he spends a majority of the time with a drop-dead gorgeous woman like me so by all rights, he has no ground to complain.
Truly I was doing him a service instead, even when his request was solved long ago.
Upon leaving that train of thought, a warm pleasurable feeling rose in the depths of my chest and I would feel like squirming under it if I wasn't so used to it by this point.
The heat building inside me did wonders against the cold air and the goosebumps enveloping my body was no more.
"You sure you seen you left her anywhere here?"
"Absolutely, I think."
"You think you're absolutely sure?"
"Maybe."
And so, I followed the noise of muffled non-sensical conversation five steps down the plain hall. The door to the room left open slightly and the light from inside spilling out through the crack of the door creating a narrow beam of golden light illuminating the hallway. The voices spoke in contrasting tones. A deep toned voice would be answered by a light, frail whisper as if it could break with the harshest of words.
I know exactly who those belonged to.
Knocking twice then opening the door, I wince my eyes slightly to adjust to the light and furthermore, the overall colour of the room. The walls covered in bright yellows and shelves with colourful variety of animals and colouring books filling the empty spaces.
In the centre of this room, a young four year old stood there looking in my direction. Covered fully in pyjamas with miniature cats covering the entirety, she held her hands behind her back shyly. Her hair reaching down to her shoulders having its own odds and ends, perhaps even worse so then mine. Next to the door I walked in, a tired-man with a look replicating those dead-ones found in those pictures looking behind a cabinet for…Whatever he was looking for.
Until he made eye contact with me and then he made a noticeable gulp and retreated from the search (and rightfully so).
"Mother."
"What is happening here?" I ask motivated by pure curiosity.
I was expecting a reply but instead she looked to the man (dressed only in a plain white t-shirt and his black boxers as indecent as it may be. It was an ill sight that would get him thrown in prison if I were anyone else) as if she hadn't a clue as to why my much treasured sleep cycle was interrupted.
"She lost Sassie Marie and can't sleep without her so that's why I'm helping her like a father should. More importantly, why are you up?" The answer was satisfying enough however sickening his so-called onii-chan mode was.
He'll spoil all the other girls in the family besides me… This is an example of blatant favouritism!
Priding your father instincts you buffoon. What about your husband instincts or lover instincts or-
Gritting my teeth, I forcibly reply with a hint of undue anger.
"Your clumsiness woke me up, you should really be quieter or is that too much to ask? Maybe Za-Zai- That loud person is rubbing off on you." I received a look of shock upon saying that. Yes I know, I have to admit I'm partially worried too. I wonder if something this "Zai-" character was so traumatizing, I successfully repressed him from my memory and never to be brought up again.
In that case, maybe I should consider myself lucky.
"Now that you're awake, mind helping out? You know how kids are…" In many senses, he was correct. All kids perceive inanimate unfeeling objects to have character. To be someone to depend on until they grow up and realize they've been living a lie. Naturally I used to be one of them, not anymore though. I've grown up past this charade.
"I suppose we can do that. Well then, you check downstairs and I'll search her room."
"I've already checked most of her room though." Excuse me? Did I say you could retort? Such insubordination, all those times I would blindly put my faith in him and it's a wonder he hasn't failed it yet aside from menial tasks.
"Trusting your rotten eyesight at finding something I could miss is an incredibly foolish notion I dare not even entertain the thought of. Go search downstairs and I'll help here with Yukari."
He then dutifully walked out without a second work outside of nodding towards our daughter to reassure her worries.
Worries I have another solution for.
I mean, it only makes sense Pan-san would hold value as a collector's item. Ah but then again, it mattered what edition it was whether it was the possessed version of the titular character from episode 41 or the rare stitched Pan-san (done by the creator himself) of which only five in the world were made and now fetch up to very reasonable prices on online bidding sites. Then there was the way he would calm me down and forget my troubles.
The solution was obvious. We introduce who she perceives to be her friend with an actual friend who'll always be there. In that case, Sassie Marie wasn't really a good friend to leave my daughter like this so if she made friends with Pan-san then he'll never leave her.
I calmly walked towards her, a stray end of her hair going sharply upwards like an antenna, a never-ending urge for me to pull on it awakens but I suppress it in favour of doing tugging my husband's instead. After all, he probably deserves it for one reason or another.
Suppressing that instinct, I kneeled before her.
"Are you not able to sleep without Marie?"
She nods her head sideways looking embarrassed and I'm confused as to why. What was there to be embarrassed of when you're a simple child?
"Why not? I'm sure there are other animal friends that would gladly keep you company. Why just Marie?"
She hesitantly looked in my eyes for a second but then looked away to the side. A habit her father normally does, sadly he was a bad influence at times.
"It's just Sassie Cat Marie is the cutest…"
It was time for my recommendation as not just a parent but as a fellow lover of cute things and objectively, Pan-san was the cutest of them all. Underneath his mischievous shell, you can't find a much livelier cuter aura to replace it.
I have many spares but as a mother, I couldn't let this go unanswered. I will separate from one of them and let her take care of him.
"Yukari, how about we'll have Pan-san the Panda be your friend and keep you company?"
"No."
Twitch.
There was nothing wrong with that. Maybe she might feel guilty replacing her friend so quickly. Maybe she'll 'get' the magic of it when she grows old enough to comprehend it.
"Why not?"
"It looks creepy, like daddy sometimes."
Saying he was creepy was an insult to Pan-san. Pan-san and Hachiman are nothing alike. To have the audacity to compare them both is something nearly unforgivable. Now I'm in a sour mood thinking on the injustice of this earth. I could explain all the ways that Marie was technically and basically inferior in every way but I'm not a heartless tyrant.
I'm not a cold human being.
I'm not my mother.
That is why I'll let her off and give her a chance to grow first before she could make a complete opinion in the war between brands and cartoon mascots. So once again, my solution was rejected.
"Daddy is creepy sometimes huh? Sometimes you could mistake him for a ghoul late at night couldn't you?" Asking that as a means to devolve the topic and distract both of us, I notice I delved into much easier subjects to talk about whilst running my hands through her hair. Sorting out the strays and knitted locks as I moved to sit on her bed letting Yukari sit between my legs.
"Yeah. It was almost scary waking him up, like he'd get angry like the big giant from the beanstalk story."
"Almost scary? And yet, you still woke him up? That's really brave of you." I reply as I rhythmically stroked through her black hair and she leaned into my touch.
"It's not as scary when you two argue."
The question itself tightened my chest and obstructed my oxygen supply for a brief period. We never argued. Not at all, not in a traditional sense. Why would she think her parents wouldn't love each other anymore as to argue?
We'd complain, we'd insult each other and we'll make fun of each other.
We never argued at all but from outside eyes…
The thought that Yukari was afraid of that wasn't pleasant at all. In fact, I felt a wallowing sickness in my stomach at the realization that this was always how we acted and the possibility that Yukari was too young to fully understand without it being explained.
I speak with a lighter tone to convey the information more softly.
"Honey, you shouldn't be so scared of that. Sometimes, parents like to play with each other with words and get on each other's nerves." She stares ahead in silence taking it all in. A special friend once taught me that if we don't say anything then we'll never understand. That much was true and with that in mind, I'll do whatever it takes for her to avoid the same mistakes we made in our adolescence.
"It may look like we hate each other but the truth is sweetheart, we just enjoy being like that with each other. It's how we always are, even when we first met so you don't need to worry about anything going wrong."
Hugging her tighter to my body, I whisper into her ears.
"So you don't need to worry about us. Mummy and Daddy still love each other so you should worry about your animal friends more and take care not to lose them."
"U-un."
Even with all that resolved, I still want to encourage her. Encourage her that for some people, she can go over a line she's made herself so that she'll be better off in the future perhaps.
"And next time, you can wake me up if you want help. I don't mind being relied on at all."
And we stayed in that state of perpetual bliss for awhile. A joyous feeling of pride barely contained inside me for perhaps a couple minutes.
I only wished I could always be there to hold and protect her if I could but frankly, my husband would know first-hand what jealousy was.
"Oi, Yukari. Found it."
Her face lightened with joy and she jumped out of my grasp to greet her sloth-like husband who held the long-lost pink cat in his hands.
"Thank you both so much. Sorry to bother both of you with this."
Hachiman proudly pumped his fist to his chest as some sort of twisted alpha fatherly pride.
"That's fine though it's probably cost you a lot in Yukari points."
"No it doesn't." I interject.
"If anything, she's being ripped off from using your services Hachiman. Really she should be trusting in something much more prestigious like the Yuki-points service. In addition, we charge less and our employees are high maintenance to boot."
I could see all the possible insults flashing through his mind's eye but disappointingly so, he retreated like usual making due with a simple escape technique.
"Well me and Yukari are in a exclusive contract forbidding her of changing sides. Sorry but she signed the paper."
"But I want to change to mother's services, then I wouldn't have to deal with creeps like my father right?" That's right! That's my Yukari! I can almost envision a lifetime of teamed-up banter against Hachi-kun. Oh how helpless and outmatched he'll feel! Even your aunt Komachi might join in sometimes!
"You too? Haah, I'm going to bed now. No need to thank me for my hard work or anything." As a combo, we were quite tenacious and he backed out much more quickly then he could before whether due to his fatherly pride being severely damaged or his feelings. Either way, I could imagine him crying into the sheets and then feel a slight twinge of guilt for crossing a line deemed too far.
Oh well, he'll get over it. He always does and sometimes, I do too.
After kissing Yukari for a good nights sleep, I retreated back towards the bedroom we share to find his form dug under the covers. Obviously feeling betrayed by Yukari's defection. I would feel sorry for him if this wasn't a daily thing. I get under the covers and move closer to his back which is turned towards me. An active sign of cowardice.
"Oh cheer up Hachi-kun. You knew this would happen."
"Not really, are you a witch? Is this some sort of mind-control?"
"No, just my motherly charm at work."
"You know, my mom would make the same excuse to pops you know?"
"What, when asked about mind-control?"
"No, when Komachi would rather rely on mom. Little wonder."
Mrs Hikigaya, a person I'm ashamed to say I still didn't know too much about. Having her as a mother-in-law was unprecedented even with how obvious that would be. Knowing how Hachiman is, there is no way I could've predicted how Mrs Hikigaya was.
She's gentle, soft-hearted and also mischievous when she wanted to be.
I sometimes wish my own mother was more like her.
Wrapping my hand around his stomach, I whisper seductively like a venomous snake.
"Hmm well, sons probably rely on their fathers more." Getting him in just the right place, he turns around to facing me in close proximity as if struggling in control deep inside of him.
"Not in my experience." He replied.
A peck on the cheek there, a peck on the other cheek there. I work my womanly charms on him and already our close contact caused our bodies to start sweating. The lustful mood we had entered started to escalate as I lightly bit his lip before he started to push harder, more aggressively. Our breaths horribly uncontrolled and wild.
And then he separated.
"Are you beating around the bush and implying you want a son?"
The question at hand floored me. How is it possible he managed to predict that?! I barely said anything at all! And thinking in the long-term, I never want to experience the pains and throes of pregnancy again. Immediately I stopped, recounting what he said before I could look back.
"Sorry, no."
"That's alright, honestly. It's not like I want another as well. I mean, it's all up to you Yukino."
The mood wasn't exactly suitable now to our late-night escapades which was a sore letdown. The motivation to get off on top of him was getting harder and harder to resist due to his slothful nature rubbing off on me.
Stupid, Nincompoop, Hachiman.
"Mother, father."
HAA?!
A source of instant "motivation" came and I rolled off him in record time only to see Yukari standing there holding Sassie Marie. As hurtful as it sounded, children were always an obstacle in some ways and this was no exception. The combination of his question and our daughters sudden reappearance ruined the so called "mood" completely.
"Y-Y-Yukari! What's wrong this time?"
I could die from embarrassment! She saw, she definitely did! I wonder worriedly if she'll ask an endless amount of questions to find out.
"Me and Marie, we want to sleep cuddling with you." Said with all the innocence of a clueless four year old, I sigh in relief. This could be ending out much better then expected.
"I-is that so? Umm, yeah. Here, I'll make some room for you." With the adrenaline running through my veins, I move the sheets to provide room for her as she slowly approached hugging her stuffed animal with Hachiman helping out by backing off making space.
"Why, you still can't sleep?"
"No, I just want to cuddle with Mother."
Her face contained a contagious elastic grin at the prospect and I felt it hard to stop mine from emulating hers.
"You don't want to cuddle with Papa? What's with this favoritism?"
Speak for yourself Hachiman-kun...
"Look on the bright side, you get to cuddle with me." It was it's own reward to see the embarrassed fluster on his face mixed with his usual mild irritation. He then looked away to try to play it off.
"I get to do that anyway."
Although Yukari seemed to ignore him and make herself comfortable laying down in front of me, her back turned towards me and we were set as a whole family sleeping on a single bed.
"Is this comfortable enough for you?"
"Very."
The feeling that came after could be close to absolute peace. Nothing could ruin this night now but the early sun-rise of the next morning.
For now though, we'll make the best of it.
I'm mostly happy with how this turned out but the question is how far did I travel to OOC land. Next fic I do will be a Yumiko fic as there's surprisingly quite alot of people that want Yumiko fics. Really clueless as to how to do one about her for right now though.