"Sheldon Swifties V"…"The Twilight Zone…"
Summary: Brief bits, not necessarily connected…Similar to my Buffyverse "Immortal Beloved" series…Possibly related to the idea that sooner or later I plan to pit Sheldon against junior adult fiction's greatest inventor…
Disclaimer: What's Chuck's is Chuck's…No infringement intended…
"Sheldon?...Were you sleeping all right last night?..."
"Divinely, old chum…" beam…
"Hello, lactose-intolerant roomie…" Amy in bathrobe, cheery wave… "And hello, Moonpie…Stud Muffin…" warm embrace, enthusiastically seconded by Sheldon…Deep full-throated kiss…Mutual derrier squeeze…
Leonard, open-mouthed… "Amy?...Amy, did you stay over?..."
"Did I 'stay over'?..." she grinned to Sheldon…
"Five times at least…" mutual he-haw-haw…
"And yet I'm still ready for…Breakfast…" leer…Throwing cloth robe belt about Sheldon's neck…
"Back to the salt mines…" Sheldon, sighing…
"I'm dreaming…" Leonard, shaking head… "Just yesterday you held Amy's hand when Howard blasted off…Now, this morning…Last night?..."
"Well, once Sheldy initiated physical contact…The raging hormonal tides could never be quenched except by raw, uninhibited coitus…" Amy shrugged…
"Though hardly…'Quenched'…I should say…" Sheldon, archly… "Come, my Amy-kins…Back to our passion pit…"
"'Sheldy'?...Are you two kidding?...What's going on here?..." Leonard blinked…
"Perhaps it's a dream…Or perhaps we've turned fiendishly evil and are just messing with your mind…" Amy suggested… "On that note…" she held up an i-Phone…Image of Penny bound in a chair…What appeared to be a timer on a large barrel of labeled flammable/explosive material beside her… "Any last words?..."
"Leonard!..." Penny's cry…
"Penny?...What are you two doing?...Oh, I must be dreaming…" Leonard shook his head, grabbing i-Phone…
"I love how my Amy-kins cackles when we do evil…" Sheldon as Amy cackled…
"Are you two crazy?...What?...Penny, what's going on?..."
"Afraid as you can see…It's too late…" Amy pointed out…
"Not even the Flash could make it now…" Sheldon nodded…
"Penny!..I'll be right over!...Even if this is just a crazy dream!..." Leonard…
"Oh, Leonard!…Darling!...Wait!...Leonard?...I just want you to know…" Penny, desperately… "It's yes, Leonard…Yes….Yes…!"
Stare…
Amy eyeing Sheldon…Sheldon, Amy…
"Oh…Phew…" Leonard sighed…Handing back phone to a startled Amy… "I am dreaming…Good night, guys…Enjoy the sex, regardless of whatever Freudian symbolism for me it may have…"
"Leonard?..." Penny on screen… "Leonard?...!"…As Leonard left and entered his bedroom, shutting door…
"Hmmn…Well…That didn't go so well…" Amy noted, calmly… "Bestie, I'm sorry…" she addressed the screen… "You must note we gave it our all…"
"He went back to bed…" Penny's dumfounded voice… "I said yes and he went back to bed…"
"Probably our magnificent acting pushed him over the edge of belief…" Sheldon noted…
Yeah…Acting…Amy, sighing…Wait…Oh…God… "Sheldon?...Is that your hand on my…?"
"I said yes…" Penny, woebegone… "I know this was a little over the top but...I said yes…"
"Oh, Lord…What am I doing?" Sheldon shrieked…
Maybe I'm dreaming…Amy thought, contentedly…