Ganondorf Adopts A Puppy
It was a beautiful day in the Kingdom of Hyrule. The skies above were dark and dreary, just the way the king liked them. There were no meddling children, or pesky sages to deal with at the moment. Everything was going pretty well for Ganondorf... well, except for that whole Triforce splitting bit, but as his mothers always told him, "When Hylia gives you lemons, curse the lemons and send them right back to her!"
He sat on his throne, drinking in the misery of the people, day in and day out. Everything was going swimmingly well, all things considered... until one fateful day changed the course of the Demon King's terrible excuse of a reign forever. That particularly dark morning started out like any other. There was nothing particularly noteworthy going on at that moment, other than the usual search for the missing pieces of the Triforce.
That, unfortunately, was about the point where all normalcy went out the door. Pottery crashing, followed by puppy barks and pounding footsteps filled Ganondorf's ears. His big bushy eyebrows twitched in annoyance; he paid a lot of money for those pots. It was too early for that good for nothing Link to ruin his decor.
"My Lord! My Lord!"
Upon hearing those words, Ganondorf let out a growl of annoyance. A tall Darknut ran into the throne room, screaming like a little girl. Ganondorf narrowed his eyes at the armored monster.
"Oh, what is it this time?" Ganondorf asked with nonchalant indifference.
"Lord Ganondorf! There's... there's a puppy in the castle!"
Crickets chirped in the darkness. Ganondorf blinked, dumbfounded by the sheer stupidity on display before his very eyes. As fearsome as his monster minions were, intelligence wasn't one of their strong suits. For a brief moment, the Demon King of Darkness considered smiting this incompetent moron right here and now.
"How, pray tell, did this mongrel get into my castle?"
Before the Darknut could dare answer his question, panting noises filled the room. Ganondorf glanced past the shoulder of the useless demon before him, and at the face of a small puppy sitting in the hallway. It bounded toward him, blissfully ignorant of its surroundings and of the company it found itself in. The beast had a muzzle only his mothers could love. At worst, the puppy could bite at his ankles... if it dared. He narrowed his golden eyes at the audacious animal. The puppy, in turn, wagged its tail, absolutely enamoured with the shadowy overlord.
Groups of Moblins, Stalfos, and other monsters crashed into the throne room. Like the utter disgraces they were, they fell onto the ground in a heap. Each of them glanced up at their master, their faces frozen in utter horror... or at least the ones that had faces, anyway. The Stalfos just kind of... rattled their bones, but that was par for the course for them.
At the pitiful sight before him, Ganondorf slapped his face against his forehead. He took in a deep breath, and sighed.
"I'm surrounded by idiots..."
The puppy wagged its tail, and playfully barked at Ganondorf. Before Ganondorf could do anything else, the puppy jumped into his lap. Gasps of shock and horror filled the room. Ganondorf's eyes widened at the small, horrifyingly ugly creature. The puppy got onto its hind legs and began nuzzling his face and licking his cheek. Ganondorf growled in annoyance, and stared back at the shocked faces all around him.
Utterly burning with hatred for their continued presence, Ganondorf gathered a ball of energy into his hand. He threw it at the monsters, who howled in horror before exploding in a puff of black and red smoke. With those embarrassments out of the way, he focused his attention on the animal invading his personal space.
"Such audacity for one so small..." Ganondorf said to the puppy, "You dare sit in this lap, pooch? You dare?!"
As the puppy curled up into a ball on his lap, Ganondorf felt something awaken inside of him. Deep within the black abyssal pig pen inside his heart, a small spark of affection lit up. He didn't know where this puppy had come from, or why it was here, but it was clear to him at that very moment that they were a match made in Hell, and he wouldn't have it any other way.