Title - Denouement
Author - Jaimee Kidder
Email - specialagentdana@aol.com
Rating - G
Classification - V
Spoilers - Sein Und Zeit/Closure
Keywords - none
Summary - Mulder's reflections after Closure.
Disclaimer: Don't worry, Chris, I'm only borrowing M&S for a minute. You can have 'em
back...although, you're not taking very good care of my Mulder, now, are you? ::shakes head::
"The truth isn't always beauty, but the hunger for it is." -Nadine Gordimer
So it's finally happened. After all these years of searching but not finding. All the times
I thought I'd conquered, only to learn that the truth was still out there, somewhere to be
found, and that I'd been deceived by what a man once called "a host of beautiful lies."
The truth. Such an elusive yet fundamental part of living. Rarely is it to be found where
you expect it. I hadn't expected the truth to be what it was, and yet it was right.
Samantha.
Samantha, my little sister who was taken from me, whose abduction was the spark that
fueled a fire of passion. Fire to cast light into the darkness of deception.
And finally, after all the lies and the pain and the sorrow and the tears, I know. I have
found the truth; I know beyond a doubt. My certainty comes from deep inside, confirmed
by nothing but a profound sense of peace and closure. The burden has been taken away;
my cross has been lifted.
So why do I still walk on, along this same path, as though nothing has changed? For
obviously it has, intensely so. Finding her was my reason for living. Once.
Not anymore.
My focus has shifted. I am caught off balance by this change in my equilibrium and must
work to keep myself on my feet. Something is constantly shaking my world, taking it to
different levels every day, with every fresh challenge. Forcing me to do things, achieve
things, that years ago I would have thought impossible.
This feeling has been growing for the last six-and-a-half years.
And steadily growing also has been my knowledge of who is responsible.
But I don't want to face it. I can't. I feel cursed; the people closest to me are always
being hurt. I couldn't admit what I know in my heart to be true. Somehow, they would
find a way to use it to harm you.
But I can't put it off any longer. Something has to give.
You've asked the question before, the question I ask myself now, the question I can't get
out of my mind. "What is there left for you to do, Mulder?"
I would've answered the way I always answered inquiries on those lines: "Find my
sister." But now...my shield is gone -- there's nothing left to protect me from my own
feelings that keep assaulting me.
And now, when I'm perfectly honest with myself, I know the answer to your question.
And somehow, you have to know the answer too. "There's nothing left here for me
except you."
Except my love for you, Scully.
Author - Jaimee Kidder
Email - specialagentdana@aol.com
Rating - G
Classification - V
Spoilers - Sein Und Zeit/Closure
Keywords - none
Summary - Mulder's reflections after Closure.
Disclaimer: Don't worry, Chris, I'm only borrowing M&S for a minute. You can have 'em
back...although, you're not taking very good care of my Mulder, now, are you? ::shakes head::
"The truth isn't always beauty, but the hunger for it is." -Nadine Gordimer
So it's finally happened. After all these years of searching but not finding. All the times
I thought I'd conquered, only to learn that the truth was still out there, somewhere to be
found, and that I'd been deceived by what a man once called "a host of beautiful lies."
The truth. Such an elusive yet fundamental part of living. Rarely is it to be found where
you expect it. I hadn't expected the truth to be what it was, and yet it was right.
Samantha.
Samantha, my little sister who was taken from me, whose abduction was the spark that
fueled a fire of passion. Fire to cast light into the darkness of deception.
And finally, after all the lies and the pain and the sorrow and the tears, I know. I have
found the truth; I know beyond a doubt. My certainty comes from deep inside, confirmed
by nothing but a profound sense of peace and closure. The burden has been taken away;
my cross has been lifted.
So why do I still walk on, along this same path, as though nothing has changed? For
obviously it has, intensely so. Finding her was my reason for living. Once.
Not anymore.
My focus has shifted. I am caught off balance by this change in my equilibrium and must
work to keep myself on my feet. Something is constantly shaking my world, taking it to
different levels every day, with every fresh challenge. Forcing me to do things, achieve
things, that years ago I would have thought impossible.
This feeling has been growing for the last six-and-a-half years.
And steadily growing also has been my knowledge of who is responsible.
But I don't want to face it. I can't. I feel cursed; the people closest to me are always
being hurt. I couldn't admit what I know in my heart to be true. Somehow, they would
find a way to use it to harm you.
But I can't put it off any longer. Something has to give.
You've asked the question before, the question I ask myself now, the question I can't get
out of my mind. "What is there left for you to do, Mulder?"
I would've answered the way I always answered inquiries on those lines: "Find my
sister." But now...my shield is gone -- there's nothing left to protect me from my own
feelings that keep assaulting me.
And now, when I'm perfectly honest with myself, I know the answer to your question.
And somehow, you have to know the answer too. "There's nothing left here for me
except you."
Except my love for you, Scully.