A/N: This is just a letter that me and my best friend wrote at the start of the year. It is a Pigfarts Acceptance Letter. We actually organised a whole Pigfarts thing, with house crests, house tournaments, and at the present time I am writing a booklist for the subjects. It is a difficult job. I thought I should share this letter with you. :-)
(Insert Name here)
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Pigfarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year. Unfortunately, the original letter got lost in the owl post and we have been forced to send this through the Muggle post.
We understand that you may be confused about receiving your entrance letter at this age. This is due to the fact that at pigfarts, the age the wizard/witch starts is at Sixteen years of age. We sincerely apologise for your disappointment over the past five years.
Our school is extremely prestigious, having graduated students such as draco malfoy and luna lovegood, and we only allow first class wizards and witches. Our staff are some of the greatest wizards and witches of their age.
The headmaster, Mufasa Aslan Leo Billius Rumbleroar, (a lion who can talk), along with ex-headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, (who is not actually dead), head our amazing staff. A list of the teacher's and their subjects is also enclosed as well as the curriculum for the next six years at Pigfarts.
Also enclosed is a list of rules to ensure you do not get into trouble and end up with detentions, suspensions or even expulsion. It must also be stated that minor misdemeanours will result in points taken away from your house.
Usually you will need to provide your own supplies which can be collected from Hexagon Alley through the sneaky cauldron which can be found on Flinder's street in Melbourne, Victoria. However this year we will provide those supplies for you.
You will then need to catch a rocket ship from platform 10 and 1/8th at southern cross station, on December 3rd at 5pm.
At Pigfarts you will be sorted into one of four houses. These houses are Jigglypuff, Slimypop, Hippowindow and Rainbowpaw. This house becomes your family for all six years at Pigfarts.
The Scarf of Sexual Preferences will also sort you into your different sexual preferences, in front of the Whole School!
To accept this position we will need you to send an email to If we do not receive this email of acceptance your place will be taken by somebody else (sorry).
We wish you happy year at Pigfarts and are eagerly awaiting your letter accepting your enrolment. Hopefully we shall see you alive and well on September 3rd and hopefully you shall survive all six years at the wonderful school of Pigfarts.
Students are reminded that first years are not alloed to bring their own Crater Fishing Rods and cannot compete in the school Crater Fishing Tournament. For a pet you may bring a Firefly, Nargle or Moonrock.
Sincerely Yours
Headmaster
Mufasa Aslan Leo Billius Rumbleroar
Deputy Headmaster
Albus Percival Wulfuric Brian Dumbledore
Rules of pigfarts
No dances(they may wake Rumbleroar's cubs)
Never take off your space suit (this can become fatal)
Never open the airlock (again this could be fatal)
Never call Dumbledore Albus (you will get expelled)
Likewise never call Rumbleroar Mufasa
Don't mistake Rumbleroar's cubs(they may eat you) one way to remember who are the evil ones and the good ones are, the evil ones try to eat you anyway
No boys/girls unless they're cute
No alcohol unless there's plenty to go round
No Parties unless Rumbleroar is invited.
No picking your nose in the fourth floor corridor (everywhere else is fine)
No scratching your nits near the third boulder to the right of the Entrance Hatch
No carrying an ice-cream cone around in your back pocket
No making ugly faces at Rumbleroar's cubs
The only time men are allowed to dress as women is during transvestitation class
No pulling pranks on the cubs
Do not die in the great hall (this is the biggest crime)
It's against the law to pee in the lava pool
Do not let your Moonrock chase any Firefly up the north tower
No making out with someone for more than hour without breathing
Do not take Rumbleroar or his cubs to the cinema
Must plank at least once a day
Please note: Good behaviour will be rewarded with a ride on Rumbleroar's back
Also for the most important rule please translate our school motto from German to English
Our motto for those unsure is:
Nicht brechen wind auf einem schlafenden löwen
Staff and Important students for 2011/2012
Headmaster- Mufasa Aslan Leo Billius Rumbleroar
Deputy Headmaster- Albus Percival Wulfuric Brian Dumbledore
Caretaker- Filth
Hospital Nurse- Madame Parsnips
Groundskeeper- Bogg
Poisons- Slitherus Snake
Transvestitation- Professor McGonagills (a flying fish)
Defence Against the Dark Arse- Professor Loopy
Farms- Professor Witdick
Difficulties of Mortal Life- Professor Garbage
Pure Boredom- Professor Trashcans
Rock Language- Professor Jibberish
Ghoul Studies- Mister Ghost
The Answer to All Awkward Situations- Professor Twisties
Moon Magic- Moon Man
Crater Fishing- Madame Douche
Smoke-The-Pot-Ology (in memory of Professor Brian Junior Holden)- Madame Potato
Satanic Rituals- Professor Six-Six-Six
Arithmantorture- Professor X
Care of Old Farts-Hamlet
Stare Into Space- Professor Sinister
Librarian- Madame Pinch
Head Girl- Hermononucleosis Smith
Head Boy- Herman Monster
School Curriculum
First Year
Poisons
Transvestitation
Smoke-The-Pot-Ology (In memory of professor brian junior holden)
Crater Fishing
Farms
Defence Against the Dark Arse
Second Year
Defence Against the Dark Arse
Poisons
Transvestitation
Farms
Satanic Rituals
Arithmantorture
Third Year
Defence Against the Dark Arse
Poisons
Transvestitation
Farms
Care of the Old Farts
Stare Into Space
Fourth Year
Defence Against the Dark Arse
Transvestitation
Poisons
Farms
Difficulties of mortal life
Pure Boredom
Fifth Year
Defence Against the Dark Arse
Transvestitation
Poisons
Farms
Rock Language
Ghoul Studies
Sixth Year
Defence Against the Dark Arse
Transvestitation
Poisons
Farms
The Answer To All Awkward Situations
Moon Magic
A/N: So yeah, mine and my best friends Pigfarts letter. I must say, the email given for the acceptance is real. I created a while back because I wanted to have a proper Pigfarts party. So you can email to there and ask me questions. And I will be happy to keep you guys updated on the magical school of Pigfarts :-)