"Make it go away!" Dana Scully cursed the rising sun, and most of all; the date.
February 22nd, 2010 – her last day of being forty-five, tomorrow she would reach forty-six and four years away from the inevitable fifty. If she lived that long; if any of them did. Those thoughts found a way of playing into her brain, which is why she tried to live every moment to its fullest – which meant the night before she was treated to a week's vacation in Bermuda. When they arrived it had poured rain and it took all her strength not to cry in frustration, but this morning the sun was bright, the waves could be heard crashing around the small cabana and she was in paradise. Physically she was beaming, mentally she was screaming.
"How did you sleep?" The male voice next to her asked as he brushed a strand of hair out of her face, then another, and another until he could see the bluest of her eyes looking back at him.
"Considering we're basically in an overpriced tent and the wind howled and the palm trees scraped against the cloth walls – I slept like a baby. With colic."
The crankiness was evident in her voice and by now Mulder knew when not to press her buttons, "At least the sun is out." He attempted to point out the positive.
"I'm well aware of that glaring fact." She replied, an emphasis on 'glaring' and her tone basically told him to stop pointing out stupid things.
"Sorry." Mulder replied hoping a sorry now would prevent one later and trying to think of what to say to actually make her smile. "Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?" Fine, be blunt.
Scully sighed loudly and turned over to face him better, "I don't handle birthday's well anymore."
"I've noticed that."
A small smile could be registered.
Score one for Mulder.
"Can I start going backwards instead? Like turn forty-four tomorrow instead of forty-six?"
"Doesn't work that way. But you know you don't look a day over twenty-one."
"You're lying."
"Anything to make you smile, even a little."
"It's hard."
"I know. That's why I've made it my life goal to treat you to whatever exotic destination you want to travel to for every birthday we spend together."
"Planning on leaving me anytime soon?"
"On the contrary, I'm just waiting for you to get sick of me."
"I've put up with your antics for nearly half my life, I can put up with you for the rest."
"Almost sounds like a greeting card."
Now the smile he loved grew across her face, "Call me Mrs. Hallmark." She let out a small snort.
"I'd like to call you Mrs. Mulder actually…"
"Bringing it up again after you restore my happiness?"
"My other life goal."
"Common law and two children aren't enough?"
Mulder shook his head, "Nope. Not till rings are exchanged in front of a priest and documents are signed and mounted."
"Mounted?"
"Best way to make it permanent."
"You love to overdo everything don't you?"
"Only when it comes to you my love."
Scully gagged loudly at the mention of 'my love.' She gagged every time he gave her any kind of sappy title. Honey, sweetie…he even got a pumpkin out once and she felt bile come up, but my love…was seriously stretching the gag reflex. Scully sat up in disgust, "I need coffee."
"Me too." Mulder replied, "And a shower. That storm last night made me feel like a drowned rat and I was too tired to shower after our much delayed flight getting in."
"Explains why you weren't pawing at me last night."
"Didn't think you'd want to be pawed by a stinky drowned rat."
"True. Now please shower. I'll be here."
"Ok."
Mulder didn't even bother asking for a morning kiss given how disgusting he felt all over and quickly got out of bed and scurried to the bathroom with his shaving/showering bag.
Not a cloud could be seen as Scully walked along the shore outside their cabana in her beige flip flops, white loose capris and the sleeveless silk lavender blouse she quickly pulled out of her bag and put on before escaping to the sand. She wished she didn't have a care in the world, she had a baby girl who had just turned one in November and her son was returned to her not two years earlier. These were the moments she needed to hold onto. So what if she was nearly forty-six, four years from fifty; Mulder was forty-eight and didn't care. Sure he now had streaks of grey in his hair, but he laughed when a new one appeared stating that at least he had hair in the first place. Why couldn't she be that care free?
"Thinking of swimming away from me?" He called out from the small porch in front of the cabana.
"Not yet!" She smiled back at him, taking note of the long red Bermuda shorts he was wearing; and no shirt, "I think shirts and shoes are required for coffee!" she laughed noticing his wet hair dripping down his face – he didn't even bother drying off before coming to look for her.
"I know. Just checking up on you. At least you got out of bed!"
Unlike the last birthday, but she attributed the depressing forty-five to partial post partum depression – it could happen three months after the baby was born…it could!
Scully watched as he turned and walked back into the cabana, even at his age he still had the body of a twenty year old and she never got tired of admiring it.
Coffee was served by the pool, along with fruit and a selection of breads.
"I noticed your suitcase was pretty stuffed with books." Mulder pointed out before taking a bite of fresh pineapple.
"Yes. I don't have time to read at home between the kids and the hospital."
"You don't have time for a lot of things at home." Mulder replied a hint of need to his voice. A big hint.
"More like I'm too tired for such things." She looked around noticing a couple who continued to hold hands while eating, another pair who kissed between bites, "And some people need to learn restraint."
"I did. A long time ago." Mulder took another sip of rich black coffee, "Please tell me I didn't go to all this expense just so you could catch up on your reading."
"What else is there to do?"
"Tennis, golf – I brought the clubs remember, after knocking the dust off."
"I'm not a good golfer."
"Snorkeling, sailing, scuba diving…" Now Mulder turned his attention towards the young couples, "Other activities…"
"I could probably do some sailing…" Scully said sipping her coffee, then adding more sugar.
"Other…activities." Mulder pointed out again watching one young couple finish their breakfast and run hand in hand back to their cabana, "Bet they won't even wait an hour."
Scully now realized where his mind was going, "Friday night. Mother took William and Missy to a movie and Missy behaved."
"You really think once a week is enough. Like it has to be planned…"
"I really think we shouldn't be having this discussion in public."
"We're surrounded by horny twenty-somethings, where else am I supposed to have it."
"We shouldn't be having it at all!" Scully was now annoyed watching one girl place her bare feet in her new husband's lap as he ate. She giggled, he seemed to enjoy it, Scully wanted to smack them both.
"Fine. Sorry." Second sorry of the morning, so far this birthday vacation was not looking good, "Guess I could find other ways of entertaining myself."
Mulder finished his coffee and got up, "It's nearly nine, I'm going to check in with your mother and then go for a swim."
Scully nodded and turned away from the people who needed manners, watching as Mulder walked away, which seemed to lack that usual spring to his step.
When she got back to the room a note was left for her, 'kids are fine, went for a walk. Me' No 'Love, Me', just, Me. Did she offend him based solely on the fact she didn't want this entire trip to be the two of them never leaving the bed?
Of course she had.
Feeling depleted and frustrated with herself Scully grabbed her beach bag and one of the many books and ran out to the beach in hopes of letting her mind escape into the world of words.
"Is that any good?" An older blonde woman asked as Scully re-read the first chapter for the third time, her mind unable to let her absorb the words before her.
"I don't really know." Scully admitted laughing at herself, "I really can't pay attention to it as much as I'd like to.
The blond woman chuckled as she sat down in a chase lounge next to Scully, "I know what you mean. I once read a book from cover to cover and couldn't tell you the plot."
Scully smiled and nodded, "Kids?"
"Kids, husband, full time job. Taking this vacation with my girlfriends to just forget about life's problems. You?"
"Pretty much the same thing."
"Everyone needs to get away from everything now and then."
"Seriously."
"I'm Abby." The woman extended her hand.
"Dana." Scully replied shaking Abby's hand and closing her book.
"My friends Jackie and Barbie should be down here soon. I'm the early riser of the group. Are you here alone?"
Right now she felt alone, "Yes."
She lied, but didn't feel upset about doing so. What did this woman need to know about her anyway? She was a stranger and the less anyone knew about her situation the better.
"Alone and a book. Sounds like paradise to me actually." Abby said.
Scully smiled even though paradise was the last thing it felt like.
He was angry
He was pissed off
First class seats and a week at a private resort. No TV, no internet and she clearly didn't want to have anything to do with him. Just books. Reading. Sure, Mulder liked to read now and then but that's not what week long vacations to the beach were for. He was going to say this to her upon his return, that spending quality time together meant spending TIME together. They both worked full time, by the time they got home from work it was kids time, then exhaustion set in and they fell asleep most of the time without even saying goodnight. Yes, he had his selfish moments and vacations were for said moments. He hoped by the time he went to cool off she'd realize this, and when he returned she'd be lying on the bed naked awaking his return. He'd even take lying in a winter coat as long as she was physically there waiting for him.
But, she wasn't.
Her bags were open, items strewn and no Scully. Originally he thought twice about bringing his golf clubs, now all he wanted to do was take his frustration out on a little ball.
Dana and Abby had talked for nearly an hour before her friends arrived in their beach gear. By now Dana had learned Abby had four kids, twin girls age fifteen and a ten year old boy and an eight year old girl; and she was only forty. In all honesty Abby looked ten years older than she really was and complained more about her husband in one hour than Scully had ever complained about Mulder in their entire history together. Steve snored, he chewed his toenails, and he never ever ever put the seat down; even after their eight year old fell in. Abby had been married for sixteen years and seemed to despise her husband from his nose hair to his toenails. Just as Scully thought; marriage ruined everything.
Barbie was thirty-five, single and miserable.
Jackie was forty-two, divorced and her kids hated her.
The three women had met a few years earlier at the resort on respective vacations and had been close friends since then. Given they all lived thousands of miles away from one another this was their once a year trip to re-connect, and to get away from their miserable lives.
Scully finally exposed a little of herself, letting the women know she was a pediatric neurologist and Barbie was awestruck at the fact that Scully spent every day saving kids lives. All she could do was nod, choosing not to let Barbie know she couldn't save them all, given she had so much trouble admitting such a sad fact to herself.
"Is that what you always wanted to do?" Abby asked, "Be a doctor?"
"Most of my life." Scully admitted, "But I've only been in this field for about the last five years."
"Wow." Jackie replied, "What in heavens did you do before that?"
"Worked for the FBI." Even the initials left a bitter taste in her mouth.
"How'd you ever find time for yourself! I've heard that job can be dangerous and stressful."
"It can be, and I really didn't have time for myself." Scully laughed, "But then again I've never had much of a social life."
"How'd you meet your husband then?" Abby asked.
Ugh. The H word.
"I'm not married."
The women fell silent
"Divorced?" Jackie pitched in.
"Never married." Scully hoped they wouldn't bash religion over her head; given what was around her neck was a glaring sign that she was more religious than even she could admit.
"But you have children."
Yes, I sinned…a lot. Scully thought to herself. A LOT A LOT.
Two years ago Scully really didn't have an answer to that question, one that made sense to anyone else considering how badly she did want children of her own, but now after all that had happened she could smile and say, "Two. Boy and a girl. He's eight and she's nearly fifteen months."
Jackie narrowed her eyes at the woman wearing the cross, but who clearly didn't have marriage on the mind, "So you're practicing the Kurt Russell Goldie Hawn way of life?"
"You could say that."
"How long have you been together?" Barbie chimed in.
Another tough one, "That's the funny thing." Scully chuckled a little, "Known each other nearly a decade, been together – give or take – about ten years."
"So you were friends first?" Abby asked but it sounded more like a statement.
"Very much so." Scully replied, honestly longing for the times when their tempers flared and they could just go their separate ways until they could calm down; now too much time had passed, too many roads taken and there was no going back.
"I wish Keith and I never got married." Jackie said a hint of sadness to her voice.
"Were you friends first?" Scully asked, very interested in how her marriage fell apart…maybe as way to further cement the fact that marriage wasn't the answer to forever.
"No. I got pregnant the first time we slept together." Jackie admitted with an annoyed tone, "If the moron had just used a condom I wouldn't be in this shithole now."
Scully held her tongue; hard.
"But you wouldn't have Heather." Barbie said softly.
Jackie took a deep breath and nodded, "Heather has told me multiple times she wished she was never born. She knows the only reason her father married me was because I was pregnant. We weren't friends, we were strangers and Heather was the product of drunken lust. It's one of the many reasons she hates me and don't even get me started with Jeremy, a product of oh I hate you but lets be morons and try to have another kid seven years later and see if that will make things all better." As if a weight of honesty was lifted off her chest, Jackie took a deep breath, "So now they're in college and high school and choose to live with their grandmother in Chicago while their father gets his jollies off on a Hooters girl in Houston."
"I'm sorry." Scully said, not knowing really what else to say.
"I'm not. Now he's Tiffany's problem." Jackie shrugged, "I love my kids, I do, but they're right. They wouldn't be here if I wasn't a horny drunk moron."
Barbie sighed, "At least you've all had someone to love." She looked at Jackie, "Or, be with. I'm forever alone."
"You can't see it that way." Abby tried to reassure the younger of the women.
"By now I know where I stand. If you're not married by thirty you're screwed. I know the demographic. I know nothing is out there for me."
The young girl broke Scully's heart; she actually looked like a younger, blonder version of herself. And well, taller. She was a bit heavy, but not fat, and Scully would have killed for Barbie's cleavage – she lived up to her name – but you could see the sadness in her eyes, the loss of hope of any kind of happiness when it came to love. Scully knew this sadness; she saw it every day of her life for many years.
"Barbie…" Scully said forcing the young girl to look directly at her, "I didn't get pregnant with my first child until I was thirty-six."
"Why did you wait so long?" Barbie asked
"I too, had given up hope on love, children and everything that came with it. Then someone told me not to give up and I listened…and got everything I could have ever wanted." Scully smiled at the memory of that night, "And I still remember telling the doctor there was no way I was pregnant, even though they reassured me multiple times that I was. In all honesty I never believed it was really happening, that it wasn't all a dream, until I held my son in my arms."
"But you had someone, obviously, you weren't alone."
"At the time I was. His father was sick, very sick and this led to us being apart for a very long time, and then…well…it's very complicated."
"But your story has a happy ending right?"
"I thought we did." Scully sighed, "Now all we do is fight, if we don't pass out from exhaustion before we have the chance to bicker at one another."
"Sounds normal." Abby added
"Not for us." Scully replied, "This has all started in the last few months. I don't know what changed but…it's like we don't meld anymore."
"Melding is overrated." Abby snorted.
"Is it noon yet?" Barbie asked, the relationship talk getting to her more than she wanted it to.
"No, why?" Jackie replied
"Because now I really need a drink."
Par seven
Par eight
Mulder wondered why he even bothered. Golf was supposed to be a relaxing sport, and all he wanted to do was bust the ball into a million pieces.
Most of the time he didn't even know why he was angry, he just was.
No, his mind did not revolve around sex, he wasn't an animal, but coming home to a dark home every day, with cranky children because their mother either fell asleep at her desk, or was spending all her time with other children made him a bit resentful. He didn't expect a June Cleaver, but at least acknowledgment that hey, now you have kids of your own to take care of would help. She took over a year off after William came home, mostly because adjusting your son to his new life was something that was a full time job, and then finding out you're pregnant just complicates things further. Given Mulder had just returned to the FBI he appreciated the fact she was home every day when he returned from work. They'd read bedtime stories to their son, tuck him in together, it was a mutual effort, the same after Melissa was born; but ever since she went back to work she fell back into her old routines, forgetting to come home at a regular hour, begging him to pick up William from school, make dinner, do the laundry – Missy was in the FBI daycare of all things so he saw his daughter more often than Scully did and he was beginning to feel like Mr. Mom, all while having a full time job of his own. One of the reasons he wanted to marry her was the permanence of everything, to know she was in this for life, even if she wasn't around as much as he needed her to be.
"You're going to dig to China at the rate you're going!" a voice called out at Mulder.
Mulder turned to see a tall young man waving at him with his nine iron.
"Yeah, I know. I am having trouble concentrating."
"You kind of need to do that with golf." The man said approaching Mulder with his clubs over his shoulder.
"I know." Mulder replied at the young man's statement of the obvious.
"You do look tense. Where are you from?"
Friendly, "DC." Mulder replied with the general answer most people from the Mid Atlantic region gave. Figured Reston, Virginia would just confuse people who weren't familiar with the dynamics of Northern and Southern Virginia and just how diverse the different areas were. "You?"
"San Francisco. Some old fraternity brothers and I like to come down here once a year or so."
"Where are they?"
The young man shrugged, "Just me this year. Wives, kids, jobs. I'm the only one not attached. You?"
"Partially attached. Have the job and the kids…" Mulder sighed and picked up his ball, wishing he could crush it with his palm, "No wife."
"Bummer." The young man said, and then rethought his answer, "Do you want the wife?"
"Very much so." Mulder sighed and shoved the ball in his shorts pocket, "I sound pathetic."
"Nah. We're taught to be all manly, to want to screw everything that moves, but I think a lot more men want the happy ending than are willing to admit."
"All that testosterone." Mulder chuckled. "Do you need to play through?"
"Nah, I'm shanking them all as well. How about we pair up, finish the round and whomever has the highest par buys the drinks."
"Sounds like a plan."
"By the way, my name is Ken."
Mulder thought about how to reply then mentally shrugged, "Fox."
"Seriously?" Ken eyed him.
"Sadly so."
By two pm, Scully felt like she had known these three women her whole life. They window shopped, Scully bought a sundress for her little princess and a Bermuda shirt for her little prince – however if he caught her calling her that there would be eight year old hell to pay. Even though William had only been back with his biological parents for the last two years after his adoptive parents were killed in a car crash when he was only four and he had been bounced around foster care for over a year until Scully's mother spotted him by happenchance at the Smithsonian during a class trip and did all she could to get the child returned to his natural parents. DNA tests followed but eventually William came home, just after his father's identity had been restored. Perfect timing on all accounts and it was as if he had never been separated from them in the first place. Scully took leave from the hospital the day he arrived home, and still remembered the day they were reunited, as if he had never forgotten her, just as she had never forgotten him. With Mulder it was a little harder, the boy hadn't seen his father since he was a few days old, but in time – more like hours, and they were joking around together and even jointly teasing Scully in childish boy ways. Everything was perfect, so much so that when she found out only months later she was pregnant again, Scully felt like she could never be as happy as she was that moment. The way William listened to her belly, felt his little sister kick, were moments she clung to, and how Mulder held her tight as she slept, as if to keep any harm from coming to her or their child, in ways he wished he had with William. Saying things would be different this time, and they were. The day Melissa Margaret was born was one of the happiest days of her life, if only she didn't go into labor on Thanksgiving, leading Mulder to make 'sissy Navy man jokes' after Bill ran to the bathroom at the sight of her water breaking. She didn't have to hide in an abandoned church, Mulder was with her, and after Melissa was born her older brother got to hold her and they went home together; no one was forced to leave two days later. No one wanted to harm her daughter, and William went to school every day and returned without a scratch, they were living the perfect life…then suddenly everything just seemed to go wrong. Mulder couldn't have expected her not to go back to work. Sure he returned to the FBI but even in their hay days the job only paid so much and even now it only paid a portion of the mortgage and given William had his father's height he went through clothes faster in one year than Scully did all through grammar school. They were a two income family with responsibilities and even though he still had inheritance money that could have them living like the Hiltons, he felt it best to keep the money for an emergency, and birthday trips she really could have done without; except when it came to the kids. Disneyworld in May was promised to William, given last year there was no way Scully was taking a six month old anywhere – William celebrated his eighth birthday like most kids – at Chuck E Cheese and Mulder said he'd rather die than ever see orange soda and pizza again. Scully didn't go back to work until December, after Melissa was a year old and Scully felt safe enough to allow her at the Bureau's daycare center. She was a bit overprotective of her baby girl, but given all that had happened to William in his first year, she had every reason to be.
Scully instantly flashed back to that Christmas, Mulder stayed up all night putting together a bike for William because Scully stayed over at the hospital looking over a little girl with an undiagnosed disorder. She arrived home by five am, and Mulder had just tightened the wheels, ate the cookies left for Santa and went to bed. She noticed later one present that had been under the tree was now gone. It was small, and looking back she couldn't help but obsess over what it was. It was after that he really started pushing the marriage stuff. He said he wanted something simple, city hall, in – out - done. He even placed a copy of Bride's magazine in her workbag one day, and instead of being angry when she came home late he would just push it more. Saying how cute William would look as the ring bearer, and Missy could be the flower girl…it was as if it was how he dealt with being mad at her, like he had to remind himself that he actually wanted this workaholic as his wife.
"DRINK TIME!" Barbie said grabbing Scully's arm, snapping her out of the daze as she dragged Scully to the local resort bar.
"It's still early Barb." Abby pointed out.
"No it's not. It's nearly four. Happy hour! And I need some happy!" Barbie pouted.
"Fine." Abby said, acting like the mother of the group of ladies and the women followed the young blonde into the bar.
There was a large booth in the back corner big enough for four and the ladies insisted that Scully sit in the middle. Guest of honor and all that stuff; all she knew was she missed Mulder terribly and wondered where he was and would burn all the books she brought with her to make it up to him. Well, the thought of committing such an act of devotion should at least count for something.
Barbie designated herself the bartender/server and skipped to the bar with four margaritas and four tequila shots to be ordered.
"You don't golf much do you?" Ken laughed as he and Mulder enjoyed their second round of bears, on Mulder's dime.
"Don't really have the time." Mulder replied trying to hide the hint of resentment given Scully seemed to enjoy visiting the kids at the hospital on the weekend's more than spending time with him. Almost made him wish he was religious; then at least getting her next to him at church on Sunday could count as some quality time.
"What do you do?" Ken asked
Mulder took a long sip of his cold beer, "I work for the FBI."
"Seriously? Like for real?"
"Unfortunately." Mulder sighed. He thought going back to the bureau would fill him with purpose, a reason for being, after six years of doing pretty much nothing, but now that he sat at a desk all day – now that he was a father there was no way he was going in the field, especially with how often he lost his gun – a point Scully did not have to make when she made such an ultimatum – he found his job monotonous and boring.
"Ever shoot anyone?" Ken probed.
"Not lately." Mulder took another drink, "I worked violent crimes for a few years, saw things I'll never erase from my mind, then moved onto another field before I took a long break and now I sit at a desk all day, compile data and never carry a gun."
"So it's not as cool as it looks on TV."
"Not by a long shot."
"And you have kids?"
Oh, the bright spot in his life. Many the times he took Missy out of daycare and let her crawl around his office. She had just started walking and made sure there was nothing to get hurt on, it was just nice to have another person around. Made him miss the coziness of the basement office, and made him long for Scully. She was no longer his partner professionally and such a fact made him ache for her to be his partner in life…permanently. Mulder smiled thinking about his kids, which cracked him up given he never saw himself as a father in the first place, but now couldn't imagine a day without them. He practically beamed as he pulled out his wallet and flipped to the professional photo taken for Christmas cards, "William and Melissa."
"Wooah." Ken looked at the little boy in the red sweater and black dress pants and the little girl with the auburn hair wearing the red velvet dress, "It's like a picture out of a catalog."
"Sure looks that way."
Ken nodded and ordered a third round, "On me."
Mulder smiled at Ken and took another look at his babies before placing the wallet back in his pocket.
"So." Ken said as they bartender placed two more beers in front of them, "No wife."
"Not the technical term."
"Girlfriend?"
"Not exactly that either."
"Lover?"
"Hate that word."
"Ok, mother of those picture perfect kids?"
"Pretty much."
"Don't want to get married?"
"Not me…I'd jump at the chance. I even embarrassed myself buying Bride magazine as a subtle hint."
"You old softie you. So how long have you been together?"
"Eighteen years." He said without even thinking or figuring out the complicated math of how long they had been together together.
"Woah." Ken woahed again shocked, "Dude, if she hasn't married you yet, I think you need to stop trying."
"I'll never stop trying."
Barbie had jumped up for the second round of drinks, which wasn't long after the first ones had been served and the bartender was busy talking to some hot blondes with enhanced breasts bigger than her natural ones and she once again felt invisible to the opposite sex.
"Man, do I need to flash someone to get a drink around here!" Barbie exclaimed.
Ken's ears perked up with such a proclamation right next to him, and he couldn't help but turn to the source of the statement to see a frustrated blonde next to him, "I don't think you'd have to go that far."
Was a man actually talking to her?
Barbie turned to her right to see a very nice looking man with dark brown hair and bright green eyes looking directly at her. And he spoke to her! Didn't he?
"I hope not, don't want to disgust anyone." Barbie already had one strong margarita and a tequila shot, but talking to men about her chest was not usually an opener. It had to be the booze.
Ken laughed at the fact there was no way what was under her shirt could disgust anyone and did what he could not to stare too long at them, instead proceeding to whistle for the bartender's attention. The bartender turned around and Barbie was able to place her second order for the table. More margaritas and more shots.
"That's a lot of booze for one tiny person." Ken pointed out as the bartender made the drinks and placed them on the tray Barbie was holding.
"They're not all for me! My friends are over there." Barbie pointed to the booth and before she could stop herself, added, "Would you like to join us?"
Ken turned to Mulder, "Think we should join the ladies?"
Mulder started to say no, he wanted to get back to the cabana and wait for Scully, that was until he looked at the booth and noticed the redhead sitting directly in the middle of it, "Oh hell yes." He said with complete assertion, getting up and grabbing his beer.
"Awesome. Maybe spending time with some ladies can take your mind of the woman who won't marry you."
"I highly doubt that." Mulder replied focused on how she didn't even seem to be paying attention to what the other ladies were saying.
"We'd love to." Ken said to Barbie emphatically.
"Great!" she didn't want to sound too happy or drunk even if she was both, "by the way, my name is Barbie."
"You're kidding right?"
"Nope, my mom was a collector and wanted her very own."
"Your parents were cruel."
"That too."
Ken shook his head in amusement as he stood up taking hold of his still cold beer, "Well Barbie, I'm Ken."
Barbie erupted into giggles as she led the men to the booth. Thankfully Ken was taller than Mulder so he could hide behind Ken as they walked to the booth.
Even though she promised she'd keep it off, Scully was checking her email on her phone when Barbie returned to the table giggling.
"Hey girls! I met some guys!" Barbie said placing the drinks in the middle of the table.
"Oooh!" Jackie seemed interested as Barbie made room for the men.
"This is Ken." Barbie giggled some more at the connection, then realized she had completely ignored Mulder, "I didn't get your name."
"Fox." Mulder said as he watched the blackberry jump from Scully's hands to the floor. Well, at least he could still make her jump.
The girls all looked concerned as Scully dove under the table to retrieve her phone, before sitting up and facing the man who startled her.
Her eyes were red – was she crying? Her cheeks were flushed – seriously, was she crying? Why? What did he walk in the middle of?
"Cell phone on vacation?" He decided to state the obvious making sure the disappointment was evident in his delivery.
"I have children." Scully matched his delivery, by now she was a master of it, "I need to know they're ok." And then turned it snippy.
Not wanting to air their dirty laundry, Mulder simply nodded and sat down in the open seat next to Jackie.
"I'm Jackie, that's Abby, you already met Barbie and the one with the crackberry is Dana." Jackie said introducing everyone to Mulder, "Are you here alone?"
Scully eyed him waiting for the answer. Given how the raven haired woman who admitted to being a horny moronic drunk was eying Mulder he better have a good answer.
"Depends on how you define alone." Mulder replied taking a large swig of his beer, "If you mean here with someone I love whole heartedly, but who doesn't seem to feel the same way then yes, I am alone."
"Fox is a hopeless romantic." Ken noted, "Kind of funny considering the name and all."
"I generally go by my last name, Mulder."
"Mulder?" Jackie replied, "How is that better than Fox?"
"It just is." He smiled at Jackie knowing the reaction it would get.
And enjoying said reaction out of the corner of his eyes in the way of blue eyes glaring directly at the poor dark haired innocent woman.
"He's just adorable!" Jackie said touching his leg.
Mulder enjoyed watching Scully's response to that as well; afraid if she glared at Jackie any harder her eyes could pierce the woman's skin. He was hers, for life, she was the one so apprehensive about making it eternal, but it didn't mean he didn't like to play with the ladies who liked to flirt.
"Jackie, he said he's seeing someone." Abby said obviously noticing the flirting
"I know." Jackie placed her wandering hand back on the table, "How long?" she asked him.
"Eighteen years." He said again without doing the complicated math.
Scully felt her heart drop into her stomach, "Eighteen?" she confirmed through baited breath.
Mulder nodded in confidence.
"If you don't think she loves you by now, then you should probably move on." Abby said to Mulder in a sympathetic tone.
"I can't." Mulder replied in the same tone but sounding much more helpless than he intended, "We've been through too much together. I couldn't live another day without her."
All the women awed in admiration.
All but one
Who was internally screaming and crying at the same time.
"Maybe it's not about love." Scully started to attempt to defend herself, "Maybe she's afraid marriage will ruin what you already have. The life you have made for yourself. Maybe she thinks what you have now is the best it can ever be." She looked to Abby, "Weren't you happier before you were married?"
"I was happier before stretch marks, but I wouldn't say marriage ruined everything. I love Steve, but sometimes I need to be alone. That doesn't mean marriage was a mistake."
"But after ten years…"Scully continued.
"Eighteen." Mulder chimed in.
"Sorry." Scully eyed him, "That just didn't sound realistic."
"It is. I fell in love the day I met her."
"No you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"That's not possible."
"Why not?"
"Because you didn't even know me yet!"
The table grew silent and Jackie moved her wandering arm further away from Mulder.
"You said you came here alone." Abby directed to Scully.
"Feels like it sometimes." She said taking a large sip of cold liquor wishing her brain would freeze.
"Pot kettle." Mulder replied, taking a large gulp of beer.
"Do you two need to be alone?" Barbie asked.
"No." Scully quickly replied, "Its fine. We're having a good time."
"So, you're the woman who won't marry him." Ken said, then turned to Mulder, "No wonder you shot a lousy game."
"You played golf?"
"I wouldn't call it playing." Ken added.
"Didn't have much else to do." Mulder replied
"All comes back to sex doesn't it?" Scully sneered a little too loudly.
"Not always, but more than once a week if that would be nice."
"I'm reliving my divorce." Jackie quickly finished her drink then took her shot before rubbing her temples awaiting the instant headache that would follow.
"See!" Scully felt validated, finally, "We're having the same problems married people have! Why do you have to put a label on it!"
"Because I just do! I'm forty-eight years old, you're the only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and when the judgment day does come I want it to say Fox Mulder was HAPPILY married to Dana Scully."
"Which is precisely why getting married is pointless! We're just going to die anyway! No legacy, no nothing! Why can't we just spend whatever time we have left being happy!"
"Might want to take that happy part out…" Jackie piped in, "Can you get up? I have to pee."
Mulder took that moment to collect his thoughts, given what was just spewed at him. He feared eight years ago if she knew the truth it would make her lose hope in everything. Why did she even bother going back to medical school if she felt their lives were pointless now? But instead of making the other people at the table think they were even crazier than they already appeared Mulder kept his thoughts about the inevitable to himself. By the time he sat back down he could see she was crying, not hard tears, just enough to show that seeing everything they worked for, everyone they cared about, be taken from them scared her more than she could put into words.
"Why do you think the world is going to end?" Barbie asked, "I mean, it could, any time, I've seen enough movies, but why are you focusing on it so much that you don't want to get married?"
Mulder sat back down and moved closer to Scully, even her hand was shaking as she ran her finger along the top of the glass, picking off the salt and bringing it to her lips, "What's the point in matrimony if my kids aren't even going to grow up."
"You can't put your life on hold because of what may or may not happen." Mulder said taking her shaking hand and placing it on his lap, this was the first time in the last eight years she had even mentioned the end date, he thought about it, every day, he had to, but he didn't know she was obsessing as well.
"It's not just that. I've also seen too many marriages fall apart, and then I feel if we do get married, then come the anniversaries and what's the point if we never make it to the golden ages?"
"Is it really about the presents?"
Scully gave him a small smile, "Of course not. I'm just conflicted. Too much can go wrong."
"But you're parents were happily married for over forty years."
"Yes, but we won't have that." She shook her head, "Even if we did get married the day we met we still would be lucky to have a good twenty years."
"You don't know that." Mulder then smiled and squeezed her hand, "And I'd go back and take those twenty."
"And don't even get me started with your parents."
Mulder shook his head, "Not all relationships are perfect; my parents being a prime example, and hell at least I know my children are mine."
"Do you?"
"Well the DNA test helped."
Scully wiped away a few tears and laughed a little.
"And I think by now we've proved we can withstand just about anything." Mulder added.
"I think we've withstood enough…"
"So…" Abby spoke up to remind the couple they had an audience, "You think the world is ending, soon, and you're afraid to get married because of it."
"That's not entirely true." Scully now realized how insane everything she said sounded to other people, "Basically I don't want to get married because then I can never get divorced. I've seen love turn to hate. Bitter hate."
"We're not Bill and Tara." Mulder sighed remembering how much her older brother's divorce tore Scully apart. The bickering, the infighting which ended in Tara trying to convince Scully to testify in family court that her brother had anger issues and seeing her nephew in tears after being told he could only see his father every other weekend actually made Mulder feel for the guy.
Too many memories flooded back. Matthew crying, Tara screaming, Bill on so many medications he couldn't even function. All while she was told not to stress herself and risk losing her second child helped sour Scully on ever saying I do.
"I need some air." Scully said looking as if she was going to pass out.
"May I join you?" Mulder asked.
Scully nodded as he scooted out of the booth and she did the same.
"Leave the phone." Mulder insisted.
Scully tossed the blackberry in her purse and let Mulder take her hand and lead her out, promising the others they would return.
"Well you made them think we were crazy." Mulder said as they walked onto the beach just as the sun began to set
"I think everyone should know everything is pointless now. Rack up debt, eat whatever you want, drink like a fish, we're all going to die anyway." Oh the booze was making her more pessimistic than she wanted to be.
"Never heard you talk about it until now."
"Doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it. Every day and birthdays just remind me of what will happen. Why am I stressed about turning fifty, I never will."
"You will."
"As a slave."
"No, you know me, I'm stubborn, I won't let some alien race take my family away from me…but I'd probably have a better fight on my hands if it was legal."
"You're never going to stop are you?"
"Not till it's done."
"Abby, she's married."
"I noticed."
"Jackie divorced."
"I noticed that as well."
"Barbie, she's given up on finding any happiness with the opposite sex."
"She seems to have hit it off with Ken..."
"Must be fate. If you believe in that stuff."
"I do." Mulder shrugged, "Well not always, but I do now." Mulder said stopping on the beach a few feet from the crashing waves, "I believe we were put together that fateful day eighteen years ago for reasons I didn't understand then but I do now."
"I was assigned to spy on you."
"You were assigned because I needed you. Every major event in my life, the important ones and the non important ones, you were there and I think by now I can admit I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. And if you still continue to question, I have to two great reasons why we were fated to be together."
"Which are?"
"One sucks her thumb and the other loves pizza and baseball."
Scully sighed, "I thought you liked working by your own rules. Outside the box."
"I do, but with this I want to follow the rules. Love, kids, marriage…just in a different order. I want to be able to click the married box. I want to have a ring that says single women look elsewhere, even though I can't help but love the rage in your eyes when another woman gives me a second glance."
"Such simple reasons for wanting to be married."
"I'm a simple guy, sometimes. And not as simple as the basic fact that I love you."
Scully shook her head and looked up at the sky. The same conversation for the umpteenth time. Mulder was quite honestly sick of having it. He figured, hell bring it up while on the lam and see the reaction you get. At the time she seemed like she was all in, but once he was free and it became a possibility, the walls came up. He had another card to play, as much as he didn't want to, but it had been eating away at him for years.
"William called himself a bastard." Mulder didn't even like repeating such words.
Slowly Scully's eyes moved from the sky directly to Mulder, "How does he even know what a bastard is?"
As if she was accusing him of teaching their son such a word Mulder quickly continued, "Kids at school. Well one. His name is Joey. After William came home, we had to go through the process of having his name changed, he still had his adoptive parents name and I needed his original birth certificate, which had your name and didn't list his father – which was why the DNA test was needed. That of course brought up many questions I didn't know a six year old knew to ask, but in short he wanted to know why he had mommy's name when he was born and now he would have daddy's name."
"And what exactly did you tell him?"
"The truth. I can't lie to my son. I just told him mommy and daddy weren't married when he was born so mommy had a different name. Apparently he made the mistake of using this info in a story the kids had to write about their families and Joey called him a bastard."
"Why didn't you tell me this?"
"I didn't want it to bother you as much as it bothered me. It's not like every parent out there was married when their children were born, it's actually become less common in this day and age, but it bothered me that now my son was walking around thinking he was a bastard. Then, after Missy was born I feared the same thing would happen to her, that's why I started pushing it. You know I feel the same way you do, it's not the answer to everything and you can love someone forever without a legal document making it so and I've been using horrible lines from horrible movies and acting like a moron…"
"At least I now know all that crap wasn't from you. The Bride's magazine?"
"Ok, that was mine. But I did that after you made the comment that a wedding is just a giant expensive party with a dress that costs as much as a car and you only wear it once. I put a post it on a dress that cost forty-five thousand dollars and asked if you could trade it in after so many miles."
"I left it in the waiting room at the hospital."
"Oh so someone else gets the benefit of my humor."
"If you see it as a benefit." Scully crossed her arms and sighed, "Our children aren't bastards."
"I know. But there are more Joeys out there and I feel at least if we eventually get married, then any future little ones won't have to worry about that."
"You do know that's highly improbable. Being forty-four and pregnant scared me enough, given the rate of birth defects with older women."
"She's perfect, and I never stop hoping."
"You're a good father."
"I could be a good husband, if you let me."
"Is that a proper proposal?" Scully gave him a sinister smile, "You know in all this time you've brought it up, you've never done it the proper way."
"I have bad knees."
"Liar."
"Are you trying to tell me all this time if I had actually gotten down on bended knee we wouldn't be having this discussion right now?"
"Not exactly, but knowing you feel the same way I do and knowing that some little brat called my son a bastard got me thinking that if I look at it more as a way to makes William and Missy's life easier." Scully looked up at the sky, "The clouds are coming in again."
"Don't change the subject."
"I'm inebriated."
"Me too."
"Even if I said I would marry you, right now it wouldn't count."
"Yes, it would." Mulder shoved his hands in his shorts pockets, "I'd stick you to it."
Scully chuckled and kicked her sandals off, "I'm hot." She said letting go of his hand and running into the water, enjoying the feel of the cold water splashing against her legs and soaking the bottoms of her Capri's. Maybe if she looked like a stupid drunk woman he'd give up for the night, she'd find ways of distracting him, hoping that in time he'd give up asking entirely.
"Marry me!" Mulder yelled from the beach.
Or not.
Shit.
Her back was to him, and it was then she realized this was the first time he actually used those two words together. He'd brought the subject up before. Getting hitched, make it legal, paying for the milk from the cow – she hated that one –, spend a weekend in Vegas and have Elvis walk her down the isle, but this was the very first time he actually asked her to marry him.
And it made her feel good.
Like it was supposed to.
"MARRY ME!" He screamed louder, her back still to him.
Scully slowly turned around to see onlookers stopping and looking at the two of them, now she was embarrassed. That did not feel good.
"SUSH!" Scully hollered back.
"MARRY ME!" He did it again even louder than before and by now the rest of their group and exited the bar, watching the drama unfold before them a good ten feet away with all the other curious onlookers.
Scully continued to stand in the water, Mulder looking smug like he would convince her by embarrassing her. So many eyes were upon her, she felt her skin crawling, "Don't do this." She pleaded.
Mulder hadn't even noticed the crowd that had gathered, but the look on her face was enough to tell him to stop being childish. He turned and eyed the onlookers, who had the expressions of those watching a car crash happen before their eyes. This wasn't what he wanted. He wanted her. Marriage scared her. Colonization scared her more. He could either stand here continuing to make a spectacle of himself like the moronic men in the Zales commercials or he could go back to the perfect life he had. Minus the matrimony. Turning back to face Scully he nodded and looked down at the sand.
Now bored, the crowd began to disperse, and while Ken and the other ladies stayed a little while longer, they eventually left the scene of embarrassment as well, returning to the bar and whatever aftermath followed.
Mulder looked like a man who gave up
On everything
But as long as she still came home to him every night he had to be thankful for that. One day, maybe, she'd realize marriage was the next logical step. He also had his kids and that in and of itself spelled commitment.
Scully watched as every last onlooker left, before her focus turned to Mulder. He looked depleted. Scully had seen variances of such a state before, but never to this degree. After his father was murdered, after his mother died, the constant search for his sister before finding out she was gone forever, knowing she gave up their only child, the end of the world…but out of all that her inability to be his wife seemed to destroy him more than anything else. She didn't want to continue hurting him; she loved him more than she ever thought she could love anyone. Marriage didn't seem like the answer, given that doomsday was approaching, but she also knew she wanted him to be happy. Maybe it was the liquor speaking for her, she had to do it.
"MULDER!" She called out as he began heading back to the bar.
Mulder turned, along with a few onlookers who remained close by.
She took a deep breath, and then let it out, "Yes."
Mulder shook his head in confusion, "Want to run that by me again?" He thought some more, "Please?"
Feeling as if a giant weight of fear and uncertainty had left her body, Scully let out a resounding, "YES!" again before running out of the water, to Mulder, and wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. She felt stupid, and girly, but it also felt good…like she could allow herself to live; even if it was only for another two years. She nuzzled her head against his neck, "Public embarrassment aside" she laughed as people clapped behind them.
"You are drunk." Mulder replied wrapping his arms around her and pressing her body against his.
"It doesn't change my answer." She replied softly kissing his neck, "Now lets get the hell out of here before I embarrass myself further."
Mulder nodded and helped her down, then helped find her sandals before taking her hand and refusing to let go as they walked back to the bar. Ken ordered champagne and they all enjoyed a glass before the 'newly engaged' couple said goodbye to their new friends and left the bar.
Mulder watched as she physically turned off the cell phone and tossed it in her purse, "Clouds are gone." She said looking up
"I noticed that." Mulder said unable to stop smiling…like one of those moronic men in the jewelry ads but he didn't care. He did love this woman, and she was all his. "Once again my stubborn persistence paid off." He said wrapping his arm around her as they walked back to the cabana.
"I guess I really wanted you to beg."
"I have no problem with begging. Are you willing to let me do some more begging tonight?"
"That won't be necessary."
The sun again blinded Scully as she awoke. She moaned and covered her eyes.
"How did you sleep?" Mulder asked brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
"Like a baby." Scully replied again.
"With colic?"
"No. She smiled to match his, "How long have you been awake?"
"About twenty minutes. Kind of like a kid on Christmas morning."
"My birthday is far from a celebration." She moaned covering her eyes again.
"It is for me. I'm very happy and thankful you were born forty-six years ago."
Scully sat up and shook her head, the smile frozen to her face, "You are a hopeless romantic."
"More like hopeful." Mulder pulled a large ring out from under the covers, "May I make it official now?"
Scully sighed, it was huge, and…beautiful, "How long have you had that?"
"Since the day we met."
"Please tell me you're kidding."
"I am. I got it when Missy was born. I've been holding onto it waiting for you to say yes. EVENTUALLY."
Scully's smile grew and like a girl in a fairytale she extended her left hand to him.
Beaming like he was radioactive, Mulder placed the ring on the correct finger and sighed in relief as he slid it to its final resting place, "You can't take it off."
"I don't."
"No, I mean you really can't. I lined it with super glue. It's permanent."
"You're insane."
Mulder nodded and softly kissed her hand, admiring the way the ring and how more beautiful it became once she was wearing it, "Happy Birthday Scully."
"You should probably start calling me Dana."
Mulder shook his head, "You'll always be Scully."
"You're just afraid I'll start calling you Fox."
"Very much so."