Chapter One

"We'll keep it small, just some family and a few close friends. Charlie would like that." Billy told me over the phone as I finished packing my suitcase.

"I'll be on the first flight out," I promised and shifted the phone to my other ear, wedging it between the side of my face and my shoulder.

"Seth will be there to pick you up from the airport."

I smiled to myself. Although a sad smile it was still a smile. "Thank you, Billy. For everything."

"You know you're like a daughter to me, Bella. And you know Charlie was my best friend," he said, his voice sad.

I stopped packing and held the phone while rubbing a tired hand over my face. "Yeah, I know..." I trailed off, not really knowing what to say. I could hear the edge in my own voice, and I was sure Billy could hear it, too.

"Are you sure you're okay, Bella?" he asked after a long pause, concern apparent in his voice.

"I'm doing fine," I assured him. Of course that was a complete lie. I was far from fine, but he didn't need to know that.

I'd gotten the news over the phone from Sue, Billy's wife. I remembered dropping the phone and running into the other room to tell Rose, shouting, screaming, crying. She'd held me tight as I fell to pieces in her arms.

He'd been shot by some low-life drug dealer. That was huge news in the small, dreary town of Forks, Washington. Things like that never, ever happened in a place like Forks. They told me he died at the hospital almost immediately after he got there. Sue had told me Carlisle Cullen had done everything possible, and I had no doubt about that. Dr. Cullen had always been one of the most compassionate people I knew.

Dr. Cullen, father of Edward Cullen. I mentally winced and pushed those thoughts as far away as possible before I could delve into them. They belonged buried deep where I couldn't reach them even if I wanted to.

Luckily, Billy's voice served as the perfect distraction when he cut through my reverie. "Bella, I'm glad you're coming home. The house is still there for you, of course. Just as it was when you...left," he told me.

"Okay," I said, closing my eyes. The unwelcome memory of fleeing Forks flashed before my eyes without warning even as I tried to block it out. "I'll be at the airport at nine."

"Seth will be there," he promised me.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," I said.

We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone as I zipped up my suitcase. I returned to the living room to see Rose sitting on my sofa, glass of wine in hand.

"Everything okay?" she asked, refilling my glass that sat on the coffee table between us.

I took it gratefully and had a large gulp of its contents to calm myself. "Uh, yeah," I said, not looking at her. "You'll give me a ride to the airport?"

"Of course I will. Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" she asked, concerned.

I shook my head quickly. "I'll be okay," I assured her. "I think I might sell the house though," I told her casually as I glanced out the window of my apartment to see the beautiful Seattle skyline. Lights lit up the city in the dark of night.

"Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Whoa...Uh, that's a pretty big decision, Bella. You sure you want to do that?"

I shrugged. "I'm thinking about it."

"You grew up there, right? In that house, I mean?" she asked.

"Yeah, but it's not like I'll ever live there again," I told her seriously. I'd be damned if I ever had to live in that shitty little town again. "There are too many horrible memories there."

She studied me for a moment, her expression worried. "Bella, I know things were hard for you back then, but what about Charlie? That house is a part of him, too."

That was true, but I pushed those thoughts away. I hated reminiscing about my days in Forks.

I shrugged. "I'll think about it," I promised even though I knew I was pretty much sold on selling the place.

She nodded. "Are you sure you're going to be okay by yourself? The Cullens still live there, don't they?"

"Yes, they do, but I'll be fine, Rose." I planned on staying in Forks, Washington for as little time as possible.

I'd grown up with Edward Cullen, and it had only taken me till the age of eleven to fall in love with him...or at least to realize that I already was.

We'd become best friends as soon as I'd moved to Forks at the age of seven. My mother, Renee, had died in a car accident. Edward understood. He'd lost his mother to cancer. The only thing different in our stories was that my mother had been ripped from me instantly, and Edward had watched his die slowly. I guess I was the lucky one in that situation, if that were possible. At least it had happened quickly in my case. Edward had to sit by and watch it, tortured by knowing what was eventually to happen, only just a little boy.

We'd bonded over many things. One of them being baseball. I'd been a bit of a tomboy as a kid, and Edward always let me play with him and his brother, Emmett, and their friends. I remembered once when Edward's friend, James, pushed me too hard and I fell and scraped my knee on the concrete sidewalk. Edward gave him a black eye.

We grew up close over the years. If I wasn't at his house, he was at mine. He'd always sneak glances at me when he thought I wasn't paying any attention. He was my first Valentine at age nine. He was my first kiss at fourteen. He always held my hand even in front of Emmett, Jasper, and James, and he'd always ignore them when they made fun of him for it.

I was totally and irrevocably in love. I thought Edward Cullen was just too good to be true, and as many things always proved to be just that this did, too.

Edward met Tanya when we started high school, and everything changed. That was the beginning of the end for us...if there ever had really been one. An us, I mean. Edward changed drastically, morphing into a stranger. I remembered feeling like my chest had been sliced open and my heart stomped on when I saw them at school together for the first time, holding hands like we used to, and the worst part was it came without warning.

One day he was my Edward, and then one day he just wasn't. One day he was my best friend, and then the next he was hanging out with the jocks and the party girls.

From the moment he fell for Tanya, I was erased from his life. He didn't speak to me anymore. When he did see me he ignored me, pretended I was never there. He didn't return my calls or texts anymore. I'd been pushed to the backseat of his life. It was as if I had never existed to him in the first place. And it hurt, hurt worse than I ever thought it could.

All I ever got was a glance every now and then in the hallway.

I remembered telling my best friend Angela Webber about it, crying my eyes out and then eating a disgusting amount of chocolate and ice cream with her. It was to be the first night of many that I'd cry over Edward Cullen.

Tanya made my high school life a living hell. I was dubbed the freak of Forks High, and Edward... Edward just sat back and let it happen. And my life was hell until about the middle of sophomore year when Edward figured out he no longer needed Tanya to be popular. He'd gained enough friends that he could dump her and his popularity still skyrocketed. When they broke up, Tanya no longer had a huge target painted on my forehead.

I'd wondered if Edward would come back to me after he broke up with Tanya, but he didn't.

I watched as every girl at Forks High School threw themselves at him, and he gladly accepted their attention. He earned a reputation as somewhat of a womanizer, but every girl still wanted him. They wanted him for his looks or his money or his popularity. It frustrated me to no end that he couldn't see I was the only one who had genuinely cared for him.

Through it all though, Emmett had remained my friend. I found it awkward though since he was related to the enemy, so I never tried all that hard to stay close. I made a group of close friends, though, and that was good enough for me. Angela remained a loyal friend throughout high school, and we still called each other frequently. She even visited me with Charlie on holidays, but I never visited them in Forks.

But as they say time heals all wounds, and no matter how big the hole was left there by Edward, I had moved on. I met Matt in college. We both attended Dartmouth and he was...well, he was perfect. Handsome, smart, funny, charming, and a great dancer.

Still, there was always that thorn stuck in my side, Edward Cullen.