Business: I own nothing. Except the Shady Mirror, I own all of that :) Thanks to TCRmommabear for letting me borrow Persephone. Special DamnYou to Cat who I hope both enjoys and accepts responsibility for all of this.

a/n: Oh god new fandom... how do I even categorise?

A gift for Catsafari for her birthday. Who i'm blaming for ALL of this. - and who I promise to drag onto my battleship as revenge - happy birthday darling :)

Meant to get this done for the TCR prompt thing but RL happened. Oh well. Posting this in parts/chs because otherwise it'll be a slog. Also I love reviews :)

notes/warnings: MUCH creative lisence taken. Very crackish. Rhymes are hard.

Anyway enjoy.

Snow White Cat

Chapter 1

Once upon a time in the Cat Kingdom, there lived a young princess, named after the Greek goddess of spring, Persephone. She was rumoured by the townsfolk to be the most beautiful cat in the kingdom, with lustrous fur and soft eyes. And a beautiful personality to match. As she was said to be the kindest, gentlest feline ever to grace the earth. Okay, the rumours on that might have been a little bit exaggerated, but they were mostly true. Persephone was indeed a kind and lovely cat, always doing her best to help anyone in need, and as many a cat said, she was certainly a looker.

Persephone had an uneventful childhood for a future queen. She'd played about with the other kittens in the palace, been taught proper etiquette by her governess, and learnt to walk, talk and speak like a princess. And during that time she grew into a fine young feline.

However, on Persephone's fifteenth birthday, her father passed away as a result of illness, and the Cat Kingdom fell into mourning for two years, after which time the Cat Queen remarried. But in her grief she'd made a terrible choice for a husband, because it turned out the new Cat King was vile and selfish, and much too vain. He wanted all the power for himself, and so poisoned the Cat Queen in her sleep, so he could usurp the throne.

"At last!" he declared triumphantly, as soon as the crown was placed upon his head at the coronation. "I am the new Cat Queen!"

This was, of course, met with more than a few confused looks and quite a few titters of amusement.

"Er, King! I meant that I'm the king!" he quickly corrected himself.

Meanwhile, Persephone shook her head and covered her face. If this guy was the Cat Kingdom's new ruler... things were going to be dire. And she didn't hold much hope for the future of the Cat Kingdom.

But she should have worried more for herself than for the Kingdom. As it turned out, the new Cat queen – as he had mistakenly called himself – turned out to be a tyrant in the truest sense of the world. He didn't just make the lives of his subjects miserable, he made her life miserable too.

"Scrub the floors Persephone dear," he would sneer. "freshen the hearth. I want this palace spotless!"

Of course, Persephone tried to argue, tried to fight against the injustice of it all. But she was shot down, threatened with decapitation of her head if she refused to obey the Cat King's orders. And Persephone did quite like her head attached to her body. So she could only sigh and mumble obedience, however begrudging, and took the broom one of the servants passed to her. He then threw some hideous moth eaten rags at her and told her to wear them. Which she did. And then she set about scrubbing the floors. It was a huge palace, so this was going to take some time.

She dunked the scrubbing brush she was given to use into a bucket of soapy water and sighed. Why does the king hate me? She wondered. Oh well. I don't suppose finding out the answer will help me get out from under his paw anytime soon.

She sighed again. Deciding to sing a little song to pass the time she spent scrubbing.

"NO SINGING!" the king yelled from the next room. Persephone sighed, frustrated, wanting nothing more than to throttle him. But she took a deep calming breath and resigned herself to quietly humming a merry tune instead. At least things inside her imagination could be pleasant if reality wasn't.

. . .

As the cat Queen – er, King – retired to his personal chambers, he chuckled to himself.

"Yes, good. That should keep little Persephone busy. Plus she'll work her paws to the bone and have no time to make herself pretty. And then I'll be the prettiest cat in all the land!"

He cackled to himself at the thought of it and swaggered into the room, pulling the cloth cover off his most prized possession; a magic mirror that always told him the truth. A priceless thing really, because he was sure half his court lied to him on a regular basis. It might have had something to do with his tendency for beheading cats... oh well, no matter. Cats were replaceable. They could always make more.

"Ah, magic mirror," he purred, leaning and pressing his forepaws against the reflective glass. "You never lie to me. Tell me, oh magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?"

Oh great Cat King, you may be fair, the voice in the mirror answered him. But the fairest of all is the dainty Persephone, the throne's true heir.

The Cat King scowled. "What?!" he snapped. "Tell me it's a lie!"

Oh great Cat King you know as well as I," the mirror told him. I am unable to tell a lie.

"This is an outrage!" the Cat King raged. "Just yesterday you told me I was the fairest! Me! Don't tell me that rotten little wench Persephone has usurped my title of most beautiful in a single day!"

Indeed she has oh great King Cat, the mirror said. It might be because you're getting fat.

The Cat King raged and blustered. "Drat and boulderdash!" he cursed. "Something must be done about this!"

He turned around and crossed his arms, thinking hard. Wracking his brain for ideas. "Hmmm... aha! I've got it!" he exclaimed. "Guards!" he called as he threw open the door. "Fetch me my huntsman! I have a little task for him."

"At once, my liege!" the guard bowed and quickly ran away to do his king's bidding. Meanwhile, the Cat King chuckled ominously.

"Yes..." he purred, paws in the finger pyramid of evil contemplation. "Soon you will get your comeuppance, my dear Persephone... nobody takes away the spot of most beautiful away from me. No-one."