Author's Note: For a challenge from Aria's Afterlife, "Elcor Prizefighters."
"Do you *shkt* understand the proposal?"
"With certainty: I understand."
"Bored finality: Let's get this over with."
The lone human in the room fidgeted nervously. "Look, Ferna, are you sure about this?"
"Positive. Humans are *shkt* greatly attracted to blood sports, especially *shkt* when the combatants are supposed to be kind and gentle." The volus nodded enthusiastically. "Besides, we already *shkt* have the credits in hand."
Harkin sighed heavily. Fired from C-Sec for one week, and suddenly I'm on the pro-wrestling circuit. "Fine, let's get this over with."
He walked out of the back office into the open space of the warehouse and down the open aisle to the ring. A pair of asari were … wrestling, you could say, and the crowd of mostly humans and turians were just getting worked up. Fighting to keep a straight face, he vaulted up into the ring, activating a program on his omni-tool and using it as a microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, humans, turians, and asari, welcome to Walloping in the Wards!" The name was so stupid, but Ferna Got was the one who picked it. "Tonight, our star fight is between two of the so-called gentle giants. First, from their homeworld of Dekunna, Perron!" One elcor, garbed in red, came creeping out of one door. "Second, a Citadel born and raised native, Oltaryn!" The second elcor emerged, in blue.
The two asari, more interested in each other than the crowd, had to be carried off by a krogan bouncer, who took his time while the elcor needed five minutes to reach the ring from the back. Jeers and mockery were already coming from the crowd when they finally stepped through the field and into the square.
"Threateningly: I am known as the Boulder, and I am going to roll right over you," Perron said.
"Dismissively: You are a lightweight. Confidently: Let me show you how a real fighter does business," Oltaryn retorted.
They lumbered towards each other and then … just sort of leaned into each others shoulders. And shoved, backing off and thudding into each other again. Harkin quickly fled to the office, cleaning out the safe and fleeing the building.
Two hours later, the angry crowd had dispersed, filtering out in small groups to find other, more worthwhile entertainment, like seeing how many pokes it took to make a volus enviro-suit explode. At long last, Oltaryn knocked Perron over, and turned to look around the warehouse. "Curiosity: Where are all of my adoring fans?"
"Disgust: I threw this fight for nothing."