Prologue: A Cold Wind through a Frozen Heart

She was a ghost. Tokio Takagi shook as the woman of her nightmares appeared before her once again. She dug into her palm trying to waken from the bad dream.

"I thought you were dead." Tokio held her hands almost covering her mouth. Her round eyes grew rounder as she stared at the apparition.

"That's what they told you." The woman answered holding Tokio's gaze. "It seems, I was right after all. You were guilty from the beginning."

"Are you here to take him back?" Tokio could hear herself croak and at once she chided herself for being weak in front of the woman whom she was able to usurp. She wondered if it was because she was privy to the truth back then.

"Tell me Fujita-san… How does it feel to be in my place? Can you sleep at night knowing what you and the others did?"

Tokio shook her head. It was a bad dream. When she had heard of Yaso's death, she was relieved. But now that Hajime's first wife stood before her, it was a testament to the mistakes back then and now the shadow had materialized to flesh and blood that was here demanding her attention.

"I cannot give you an answer Shinoda-san."

Yaso took a step forward and unveiled the hood that covered her face from the cold wind that winter night, a ghostly vision of a woman who's learned the harsh ways of the world from those she trusted. Her eyes were like glass, clear and reflective of the one who stood before her, staring into those dark brown eyes made Tokio feel like she was standing strip naked on slippery ice, ready to take a fall.

"You forget "Fujita"-san… That I am also his wife, the wife of Ichinohe Denpachi… even if he is a Fujita now."

"He values that name bestowed to him by Matsudaira-sama."

Yaso nodded her head; suddenly things were all too clear. And yet a stubborn part in her told her that it couldn't be true. The man she loved had no desire for status or prestigious names. If that was the case, then he was not Yamaguchi Hajime. His real self knew of prejudice, his father, the Shinsengumi, all his life experiences had thought him that. If he had forgotten who he was… then indeed she had lost him.

"So he's changed…" Yaso looked down, "The man who professed his loyalty to Japan is nothing more than a bumbling idiot who prances around with fancy names along with your high profile -connections-." Yaso smiled bitterly, for a moment she sounded just like him, speaking a truth that was sharp as his sword.

"No… He still choses Japan over his family." Tokio looked away. It was something she couldn't understand well. Why a man like her husband, would not give up the sword and just be happy with the life they had. Why she still had to bear with all the fighting, she had enough of it. She just wanted a new life…

"I see… And you are not happy with his choices."

"He is a strong man; it was something that had me…"

"Something that made you want him? That you thought he would be the one to take care of you and take you away from that forsaken place?"

"Yes."

"Then you do not understand him." Yaso stepped forward, "How can you call yourself a wife not understanding who he is…" And at that moment Yaso decided that she will see Hajime. "Where is he?"

"He is at home…" Tokio answered nervously. "He is with a doctor. He was injured…"

Yaso's eyes flared. "Tokio, someday you will need to learn your priorities. If you love him, there is no reason for you to be standing here."

Yaso followed Tokio back to Ueno, all the while asking herself, would she take back what was rightfully hers? But she knew that in the end it would be up to him, after all if he no longer loves her, there would be no choice but to let him remain by Tokio's side.

Note: More than two years ago I stumbled upon information about Saitou's first wife in RL named Shinoda Yaso. This is a take on RK Saitou placing him in the circumstances surrounding his RL counterpart but the focus is his forgotten and I think –much- neglected first wife, Yaso. Some of the events are fictional and some true. This story should be read with an open mind as you already see in this prologue. Constructive comments are always welcome.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. RK Saitou is Watsuki sensei's.