Hello, fellow Metal Gear fans. I present a trailer for a story I'm about to continue writing, as soon as I finish drafting a Sonic the Hedgehog story. Really I'm just trying to get into this publishing thing; I'm a long time reader, first time writer. I think my writing is decent, but I feel it's lacking something... Could I bother you into reviewing this short selection of cut-outs?
SCENE 1:
"Everybody get down!" He yelled, diving for the floor. Everyone he addressed screamed. David realized he just sounded like a terrorist.
The bank's alarm blared for a few seconds when it was rudely interupted by the ceiling, which exploded. Debris flew everywhere, crushing many innocent civilians. David got up and ran to a family's assistance, but a shockwave tripped him and a desk fell on his back, knocking the breath and conciousness out of him.
SCENE 2:
"Damn it PC!" Serenity shouted.
"What?"
"I wanted to kill 'im!"
"Chill out, that pussy's just hiding."
Meanwhile, behind a rock;
"Colonel, she's holding a flamethrower..," Snake said into his Codec.
"Snake, you have a clear shot at her fuel supply! Go for it!" It was true. there was nothing obscuring his next bullet's potential path.
"I'm no fan of cheap shots, but I'd rather not fight fire." Snake rolled out from behind the giant boulder and aimed at, then shot Blaze's flamthrower's fuel tank.
"The fu-" was all she could say before she was engulfed in her green flames.
"Aww, Damn..." Mr. PC ran to the nearest boulder as Blaze stood there burning. He barely made it when she exploded.
SCENE 3:
"Snake! It's not real! Look away!"
"I... No..." He collapsed and The Queen laughed.
"M-Mer..."
"David... Please snap out of it..." Bianca pleaded. It was too late though, the legend was no match for the sight, despite it being false. "Oh my God... what is she gonna do to him?..." She started sobbing, but no one, not even Otacon was there to comfort her.
How was it? I can has constructive criticism? ATTENTION: The real story will be M rated for excessive language. If you're strict with reading a certain rating and you're interested in this story, I urge you to read it anyway once it's finished.