Only So Far

by Cinerarium

Facts and opinions only go so far. You don't want this. Never wanted it. But now there is no other choice, nothing left for you to do. Because either way you're wrong and either way you're right.

"Facts and opinions only go so far."

(oOo)

You are a soldier.

You feel cold. Wrapped up in a blanket that covers whatever you're feeling at that moment. A blanket of nonchalance. After you kill, after you watch the bodies fall to the ground. For a minute all you can do is stare but then you turn back and look at your teammates who are, staring straight back at you. Abandoning all thoughts, you carry on without the slightest hint of emotion. But you know, somewhere in the back of your head that after you fall asleep tonight tears will grace your cheeks. That there's a possibility that you won't fall into the realms of dreams. That you will dream of the bodies, dead, with wide open eyes looking at you, hating you. Just like the little children. The EA children all melancholy and weeping at the bodies of family, friends. Their sad eyes turn to you and suddenly alter into swarms of colorful hate. They loathe you. You can't shake the feeling of guilt that everyone says shouldn't be there. You should be proud. It's much like a never ending conversation but instead of insults and screams that pierce the heart, consisting of bloodshed, lifeless skin and constant memory.

You don't want this. Never wanted it. But now there is no other choice, nothing left for you to do. Because either way you're wrong and either way you're right. There is no neutral in this war and you were destined for one side forever. But because you are a soldier, standing in line, killing carelessly, endlessly and waiting impatiently for orders people will always look at you and see a soldier. They'll see the same thing, a brave soldier, a warrior, a murderer. And that is as far as it goes.

You are not you, you have no life, no love, no freedom. You want, you need, you are friends with the other side. But you've both betrayed on another and there's no turning point where you reminisce and are thrown together again. You will always clash. From the outside you will never be human. You are a soldier and that is as far as it goes.

(oOo)

My first SEED ficlet. A tiny snippet. I do hope it was satisfying, I haven't seen all that much of the show so it it's utterly horrible please don't blame me. This is much how I see the uninvolved few looking at the coordinators and even naturals of the SEED universe.

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