Disclaimer: (Alas,) I own none of Marvel's characters or settings.
Author's Note: Hi, guys! So, here's a little background about this story; it'll help you understand what's going on. The other day, I was at my family's annual Thanksgiving celebration, and my wonderful cousin brought a bunch of writing games to play. One was called "Plot Twist", and in it, you begin a story based on a random picture. Then, as you're writing, one person at a time draws from a bag full of slips of paper, each containing a plot twist on it. Once they've drawn, they select a person and give the plot twist to them. From then on, you must incorporate the plot twist into your story. As you go, you end up getting five or more plot twists, and it makes for an *cough* interesting story. Anyway, mine turned out pretty funny. I will list all the plot twists at the end so that you'll see why things happened as they did.
Just so you all know, by continuing to read this story, you are tacitly agreeing to the following: if this story makes you smile even the tiniest bit, you WILL leave a review. Now, here you go! Enjoy!
After the events that went down in D.C., two things were decided by Captain America. Number one: the Avengers needed to establish a better response system. Number two: he should take a few days off. When he talked about these issues with Tony, a solution was presented.
The Avengers selected a day and gathered together in the luxury floor of Avengers Tower. The discussion about a response system was quick and easy, and before long, the group had put business far behind them. Laughter echoed through the room as Thor tried to draw a duck in the game Picture This. It was quite pathetic.
"What the heck is that poor creature?" Stark asked when the time for guessing was up.
"It is a kingly water fowl," Thor explained, smiling proudly.
"Ducks only have two wings," Natasha sighed. "Not twenty-seven."
"Maybe in Midgard they only have two," Thor countered, crossing his arms and forming a frumpy face. "In Asgard, they're different."
"Now, Thor," Banner said, gritting his teeth in sudden anger. "WE AGREED THAT THIS GAME WOULD BE ABOUT EARTH ONLY!" he shrieked.
"SHUT UP, BRUCE!" Hawkeye yelled, adding his own irrational outburst to the atmosphere. "I don't want a visit from the Other Guy!"
Suddenly a loud roar shook the tower. Outside, a massive Tyrannosaurus had shattered the lower windows of the building and was causing major destruction.
"Never mind!" Hawkeye yelled. "We need the Hulk on this one!"
The Avengers spun into action. Cap jumped up and grabbed his shield. But then he stumbled and fell, remaining motionless on the ground. He was in a coma.
"Rogers!" Natasha screamed, rushing to the fallen Captain.
"Leave the worthless antique," Stark said, suddenly turning on his friends. "In fact, you're all worthless!"
Iron man pulled on his suit and began firing at his companions. Hawkeye was killed immediately while Thor managed to block a spurt of energy with his hammer.
"I'll draw him off!" Thor called to the other Avengers. "You take care of the dinosaur."
Steve suddenly leapt up and glanced around, taking in the situation. He motioned for the others to go ahead while he knelt beside Barton's body.
"Clint," he said sadly.
Then, to his astonishment, Clint's eyes snapped open, though now they were yellow and creepy.
"Brainz," he moaned. He stood up, arms thrust forward, and began prancing around. A zombie.
Steve had no time to deal with this now. He left the zombified Hawkeye and went to join those combating the dinosaur.
"Do you guys have a plan?" he asked, breathless.
"Banner's working on it," Natasha said.
Bruce was sitting in a portable laboratory and experimenting on a potato. When he finished with his project, he stood up and sprinted for the monster, growing in size and turning a little green as he ran.
"Radioactive potato!" he yelled, throwing his creation into the T-rex' wide-open mouth. It was a perfect throw, and the dinosaur swallowed the potato and died.
"Hey, guys!" Thor said, flying back from the sky. "Master Tony is dead."
"Well, this had been quite an evening," Steve remarked, shaking his head. "Darn those stupid plot twists!"
Well, that was weird, wasn't it? But funny, right? Please, oh please, review for me! And be sure to check out my other stories, too. I will be posting several one shots in the next couple of weeks, most or all of which are Captain America stories, so be on the lookout for those. There are a few that I think are especially good for the Thanksgiving season. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing (since I know you're all going to do that)! You guys feel free to play the plot twist game and post the stories: it is so much fun. And here is a list of the plot twists in the order that I received them:
1. Everyone must yell
2. Dinosaurs are alive
3. The character you just mentioned must go into a coma
4. A main character must switch his/her character completely
5. Undo a plot twist (I undid the yelling one)
6. Kill off someone and bring them back…as a zombie
7. Radioactive Potato (seriously, this was all it said)