Hey guys, Sophia here. So I finally did it. I finally started a full chapter Sherlock fanfiction. Should be interesting to see where this goes, and I hope you enjoy. Warning, Feels ahead.

Oh, and nothing but the story belongs to me.

Chapter One

The End

Silence surrounded him. People spoke, of that he was aware, but he wasn't hearing any of it. Any noise that reached his ears was nothing more than a distant echo that he blocked from mind. It was nearing the end of summer and the warmth still dominated the days, but the air surrounding him was chilly and frozen. Or perhaps that was just his own skin. Mary's hand in his should have been comforting, and in a way it was as it provided the only source of warmth he could feel at the moment, but it was still small and he gripped her hand tighter, hoping to drag in some of that heat and keep it for his own. Even his own wife's words eluded him and as hot streams of tears trailed down his cheeks, he didn't bother stopping them. His mind was empty, as empty as the hole he stood before now. But it wasn't empty was it? No, it lay home to a brilliant man, London's finest, England's only Consulting Detective. His best and closest friend.

It should have been empty. God dammit it should have been empty! This six foot rectangle of a hole should never have needed to been dug. Sherlock shouldn't be making home within its dirt walls. It shouldn't have to end like this. Why did it have to end like this? The man survived so much, he really was beginning to believe that he was a machine. He fell from several stories up and survived, he got shot in the torso and survived, so why the hell was this any different? Why did he pick the worst time in his life to be so ordinary?

He knew that this was final. That Sherlock Holmes wasn't faking it, that he wasn't coming back from this. As much as he wanted to wish he knew the truth. That this was final.

Sherlock Holmes was dead.

"John."

It took several moments for the man to even recognize his own name as he blinked a few times to turn and looked at his wife. Her face was tear stained and he wasn't sure what was in her eyes. Sorrow? Pity? Concern? Maybe it was all three.

"John, let's go home."

John looked at her a moment before shaking his head.

"I would like to stay a little longer."

Mary hesitated but then nodded. "Do you want me to stay?"

When John didn't answer, she gave him a kiss on the cheek stepped back a few paces to give him space, but still be there if he needed her.

Several years ago, John had stood over what he believed to be the grave of his best friend. He gave a speech, a somewhat awkward one at that, but he wished for a miracle, for Sherlock to be his extraordinary self and pull off the impossible. Two years passed and just when John thought he had moved on, Sherlock answered.

But now… now things were different. This was real this time. He believed it real the first time, but loosing Sherlock all over again, he didn't know how he was supposed to deal with that. He had Mary, he had the child, but when your best friend dies for the second time in your life, how do you move on from that? And now, standing over his grave, what was he supposed to say? Pray for another miracle? There was no miracle to be had. Sherlock Holmes was dead and that was it.

"I feel like I should say something," the man finally started, looking up to the sky and blinking back further tears. "God, I need to say something, but you've heard it all before, haven't you?" John gave a heavy and humorless laugh, laden with nerves. "The first time, you remember that? Oh, you really had me. But I'm not going to ask again Sherlock, not….not this time. Because this time it really is the end. I know that. I don't want it to be. God of course I don't. Who would want this? I don't know if I'm okay. I don't know if I ever will be. I mean, how the hell does a person go on with their life a second time? But I have Mary and Rebecca to look after, right?" He took a deep breath, biting his lip and forcing himself to continue. "I've said this before but you deserve to hear it one last time. You. Were. Amazing. Spectacular. Absolutely astonishing. You were the greatest man I have ever met and ever will meet and one last thing Sherlock, I hope you're happy."

John turned away, unable to say those two words, the same words that Sherlock spoke just before the darkness overtook him forever. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on breathing, only opening them when he felt Mary's delicate hand grasp his. He looked over and gave her what he hoped was a comforting smile. When she tried to do the same, he knew he had failed as much as she had and together they headed back to the car.

"Daddy? Is Uncle Sherlock still dead?"

John sat down next to a tiny girl with blonde hair and blue-grey eyes. He looked from her to his wife, sorrow building in his eyes. How was he to explain to his four year old daughter that dead meant they were gone for good? It was a concept that she wouldn't be able to understand, really she could be at home, playing with her dolls and remaining clueless. But even at such a young age, she recognized her parents grief, even if she didn't understand it.

"Daddy, why are you crying again? Is Uncle Sherlock done being dead now? I wanted to show him the picture I drew today."

She asked the questions like being dead was simply a game, one you played for a while to fool people and when you got bored, you stopped playing.

"No Rebecca, he's….Uncle Sherlock is not going to come back."

"You mean he can't see my picture? But I drew it for him." A pout pulled at her lip and the disappointment was a pickaxe to an already cracked ice wall. John shattered as he pulled his little girl close. He was never really one to cry, at least not the full onslaught of tears that often came with grief, but there in that car, surrounded by his daughter's innocence and his wife's warmth, he felt he had no other choice, and sobbing into Rebecca's shoulder, holding her closer than he ever had before, he did just that.

Well, there you have it, chapter one, not sure when the next one will be out, because to be honest, I don't really have this plotted out, I'm just kind of seeing where it takes me. If you have ideas, I'm more than happy to hear them. *chuckles nervously* Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed it and please, remember to review and favorite and all that. I would love to hear your thoughts, I'm always open to criticism (and compliments as well of course ^^). I love you all and thank you for reading. Hopefully there will be more to come soon!