I teleported … I teleported… I'm on top of the school Funk Shit I am so dead. Bloody Hell.
These thoughts spun in Harry's mind as he sat alone on top of his stupid school. The last thing he remembered was trying to hide from Dudley Dursley and his gang of fatsos. Now Harry was basically shocked and he did not do most of the things people do when they teleport one being looking around to see if anyone saw them and two being quiet. Well if Harry did the first thing he would have seen the old man behind him and if he did the second thing Harry would have stopped doing his happy dance, but hey nobody is perfect except for maybe nobody.
"You didn't teleport, child," said the scary old man who will go unnamed for know, "I am the one that made you apparate or as you say teleport here."
"Oh fuck there is a child molester behind me." "Pedophile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Silencio Incarcerous."
"Let's get two things straight first I am not a Pedophile secondly I brought you here to help you. My name is Bob the Wizard or Bob the Builder whatever you want to call me. The reason I am here is because I need an heir and you fit. In a few years you are going to be a player, all girls will like you, and magically powerful. Oh fuck sorry, I knew I forgot something, you struggling is really distracting would you stop. You are a wizard Harry. Tada."
"Ok anyway, so I'm here to help you blah blah, here is this laptop." Pulling out a laptop from his knapsack, all real men wear one. "So I'm going to let you out, don't run way, I told you you're a wizard, so come on humor an old man," Bob said as he canceled the spells. "Look this laptop is very special because a. it looks cool and b it is infused with magic," the laptop in question was black with a purple moving flame on the top. "Aren't you going to say something?"
"I'm still thinking I should kick you in the balls and run away with the laptop."
"You see this cool looking button on the top of the keyboard that is how you turn it on. Press it come on press it Presssssssss the button Luke……. HA you pressed it now you're doing to die………….. Just kidding."
Harry by this time was freaked out of his mind and he would have ran away if the Pedophile had put a spell on him so that he could not lift his legs and he would have started to scream and swear but his not stupid and Harry knew no one should angry a Pedophile.
#Loading Windows: MAGIC# With the old man making sound effects as the laptop loaded.
#Welcome Harry Potter#
"Isn't that cool, it awesome. Ok so you know how to use a laptop right? Good Good. Look this funny icon with the three circles that says spells is an encyclopedia of nearly every spell that I could find. This funny icon with floating book is MaGoogle, is Google for magic. This laptop has many other things on it like games, things like that. So when every you want to play a game you press your hands on the computer when the game is running and you will actually being it the game, it really fun with porn games. Ok awkward silence. Any way click that folder icon yes the one that has AGE under it. Ok so all these folders with the numbers on them contain lists and video files that will help you. Like if you click 10, there is going to be an avi file that will give you the TALK. Most of these folders will have a movie in them so while you watch those movies they will subconsciously flash pictures on different spells so you can learn faster."
"Wow."
"I know that was my first reaction, so here are a few Galleons and this key opens room 10 at the Leaky Cauldron which is where I'm going to drop you. SO go there lock the door and go to sleep with the laptop on your bare chest, so the laptop can sync to you and heal you."
Well even though Harry still thought that Bob was a Pedophile he allowed him to take him to Leaky Cauldron so he could sleep on the most comfortable bed he could remember.
#Ring Ring, GET UP Ring Ring#
Harry got up put the laptop on the counter and stretched. By doing this he realized many things first he was taller, he did not have any scars, his skin did not look pale and his "thing" was bigger.
Well might as well do what the Pedophile as he turned on the laptop and when to the file called 6(Harry is 6 years old) and click the file "Click this one ."
A black screen came up and then bam the Pedophile face was on the screen.
"Harry your full name is Harry James Potter you were born on July 31, 1980 to James Potter and Lily Potter née Evans. You have a twin brother would is hailed as the boy-who-lived. Look this is going to be hard so let me just show you."
(Just think about Voldemort busting open the door and killing Harry's and Mark's (harry's twin) nanny. Then using the killing curse at Harry but the curse rebounded and hit Voldemort. Voldemort's body gets destroyed and everyone things Mark kills him because a piece of the roof hit him making a Z scare on his cheek.)
"Look I know this may be hard on you but your parents changed that night, they started caring about Mark more and they left you with the Dursleys. I want you to go to Tom and tell him to let you in Diagon Alley where I want you to go to Gringotts Bank and ask the goblins there that you want to claim your inheritance and that you are the heir of Jack the Stupid. That is why I never told you my real name. "
(So that is it for now here is a little pre-view of the next chapter. Please review.)
/Time skip/
The Champion of Hogwarts, Mark Potter, Champion of Beauxbatons, Fleur Delacour, Champion of Durmstrang, Viktor Krum, and the Champion of Salem, …. …."
'Come old man you have to say it'
"My Master!"
As you can imagine everyone from Salem fell of their sits laughing while there Head master was hitting his heads on the table. Everyone else was shocked, they could not imagine you would have done such a tings and the Weasly twins were look around the great hall for their new Hero.
"Could My Master please come to the side room?"
Harry knew that if he continued to laugh that he might die, so he got up, maneuvered around his "fallen class mates and when to face the music. But of course being who he was, Harry could not just walk to the side room, no he had moon walk there.
(That is it, could you please review and tell me how it was and what I should change)